You know...I really should not be let into Borders alone. Except, even 'not alone' isn't good enough, because god knows, last time I went with friends, I *still* spent a ton of money. I only went today to pick up a couple of DVDs, and...well...I walked out with a little bit more than that. Not as much as I *could* have done, but it was still enough.
As I gradually meandered my way out, I thought I'd remembered reading somewhere that Dean Koontz was releasing another book this year, but hadn't checked his page recently, so wasn't sure. I've written about Dean Koontz before, and how I'd gotten used to the fact that he was only writing one book a year, and that was all there was to know.
When I didn't see anything new on the shelf as I cruised by where his hardbacks are kept, I thought that I might just escape this year.
But then...
I got up to the check out line.
And behold! Dean Koontz is releasing a book called The Taking on May 25th.
Arrrg! :)
Me, at the checkout: Dammit, he IS releasing another book this year. I hate that man, I hate him so much!
Clerk: ......... wha....?
Me: Dean Koontz. The man hates me.
Amusingly, this started a five minute conversation with the clerk, who's reading False Memory and having trouble getting through it. Oh yeah, I'm sure the people behind me were just so thrilled about that.
The good part is...well. It's only another 26 days!
I swear, Dean Koontz hates me. I swear he does. I mean, By The Light Of The Moon only came out at Christmas, didn't it? Why oh why does he have to torment me with yet another book?
Ha! From his website:
There you are, going about your business-which might be something really cool like competition bungee jumping into the yawning caverns of Hell or a line of work as humble and boring as toad measurement for a federal bureaucracy-when suddenly you are blindsided by a new Koontz novel at a time of year when you aren't expecting one. You are accustomed to girding yourself for a Koontz experience immediately after Christmas, but here comes one on May 27, and you are defenseless. We are cunning conspirators here at the Bantam-Books-Dean-Koontz Center for World Domination. (Quoted without permission--sorry sorry sorry, please don't hurt me, Mr. Koontz, I won't be able to buy any more of your books!)
Because, yeah, all his books usually come out around Christmas.
I've been a Koontz fan for as long as I can remember. The first one I ever read was Watchers, then I moved swiftly along to Lightning, which I also enjoyed. There are lots of booklovers in my family, so it was no surprise to find a Koontz book on my aunt's bookshelves on that summer I turned thirteen (or so) and went up to Canada. Phantoms scared the holy living FUCK out of me. I mean...scared me so goddamn bad I couldn't even go to the bathroom without leaving the door open a crack.
I read everything of his that I could get my hands on, and would gleefully save my pennies to buy them in hardcover when I didn't get them at Christmas--it's the same kind of thing with Robert Jordan, and a few other authors I know--it's this urge, this drive, this utter, insatiable NEED to have these books as SOON as they come out. Fuck waiting for the paperbacks, dammit, and screw going to the library, I am getting the book today. Now.
Yeah, I'm all about the instant gratification.
This isn't to say that I've loved everything he's written, because I haven't. Some of them were too creepy, some too short, and some I just plain didn't like, whether because of the story line, or the characters...
The guys at Rinkworks give him a lot of shit (see the Book A Minute, the collected works of Dean Koontz entry), and yeah, there are definitely books in which that's true. The point is, it's still fun to read them...some of these books make you think, make you wonder what if, make you delve so deeply into what's hidden from everyday thought that it's just creepy.
So, today, when I was at Costco, I shrieked at the sight of a new Koontz hardcover sitting on the book table (and promptly got a lot of weird looks). Then, I started muttering. "Bastard, this is not fair, it's not Christmas yet..."
I bought it, of course. Of course I did. And now, the dust cover is sitting on the bookshelf behind me, and the book is sitting on the table next to me, just waiting to be picked up. I love being the first one to open a book--especially hardbacks, the crispness of the spine, the way the pages smell. But the book is just sitting there...
...and yet...
...I can hear it calling to me. I know how weird that must sound, but let me just make a frame of reference. I read his last two books (One Door Away From Heaven, 2001, and By the Light of the Moon) in less than two days apiece. I *flew* through those books, ate them up in huge chunks, couldn't get enough of them. In 2001, on the way home from Mom's place at Christmas, I read in the car on the way home, I was *that* compelled by the story--and I LOATHE reading in cars, because it gives me headaches and makes me sick to my stomach, which in turn makes me cranky. This past Christmas, I *walked around the apartment* with it. I cooked with it. I took it to work and read it on breaks, in slow times during calls, at lunch...on the single day that I went to work with it, that is.
And, oh my god, he's got ANOTHER one coming out *this* Christmas. I swear to god, this is going to be the death of me.
But, as I bought this one today as soon as I saw it--I didn't even have to read the flap, I picked it up (as soon as I could find a copy that hadn't been manhandled by fifty million rabid monkeys who've jacked off for three days and haven't washed their hands before touching the merchandise) and put it in my cart, no questions asked...just as I've done with almost every single book he's written since I first started reading.
And I will buy the one that comes out at Christmas--or it will be purchased for me.
And...during those days after I've just picked up a book, or just opened the gift which contains the book, I will read.
And read.
And read.
Until I've sucked my way through yet another novel...and find myself at the end, wishing the story were just a little longer, wishing I had the willpower to savor the story, wishing that the old/new friend would stay with me for just one last conversation...
But then...that's why I buy them all in hardback. And this author is yet another reason why my bookshelves are full to bursting.
But I like it that way.