This Conversation Seems Like A Dream

Today's random comments.

(Note: A lot of drivel, not a lot of real content.)

* Woke up at 4am, couldn't get back to sleep, shuffled in to surf the web a bit. CNN's front page screamed BLASTS ROCK LONDON at me. I know all my UK colleagues are safe, as they're 40 miles outside of the city and no one went there today. I hope the same for my friends.

* I still hate packing a whole lot, but at least I feel like we're making some kind of progress. Maybe.

* Very excited about this weekend's trip, for all that it is taking away from valuable packing time. I got my dress last night, it fits perfectly, and looks lovely.

* Good on Tim Brown for wanting to retire a Raider. I'm happy to see that.

* I now think that the NHL and NHLPA are having fun teasing us.

* Last night, I stopped in to get my hair trimmed, because I love this cut, and the hairdresser I got was also at the Journey concert over the weekend. That's the first time I've ever had any sustained conversation with a stylist.

* It is mood swing city around here for me. I've noticed I'm not the only one, either. I feel very strange by saying this, but I sincerely hope that PMS is my problem. What is it about this year? Things were going well for awhile, now it seems that the celestial pie in the sky has decided that we all need faces full of banana cream or something.

* Go Lance. That is all.

* When I open a bug against the 9.3 version, for a client who is running 9.3, and confirm that it's also a problem for 9.4--but *only* in house...why is it okay to create a patch for 9.4 but not 9.3, which the client actually needs?

* Some people are so dumb that it makes me want to cry.

Mini-funnies.

I got much more sleep last night than I did the night before, but even so, my brain has been slow all day long, and the smallest things have given me the giggles.

- "He hasn't even had his day in court yet, but Simon Wynne has been kicked off the ESU basketball team after being arrested and accused of driving a parked car while intoxicated." -- excerpt from a newspaper article. (My daily calendar funny.)

- Random thought: It amuses me far more than it should, and there's something so very wrong with this, but...given that the American Idol winner this year was a girl, am I the only one who thinks there's something just WRONG with the fact that the summer tour is being sponsored by POP TARTS?

Also, fun stuff of the day: CNN has a link to some of the Live 8 performances, and wow, I hadn't realized how many people were involved. Impressive.

Heh.

Just as well that the promise I made to myself to try and update every day was just to myself.

With all the fanfic that I've been reading lately, I have started to get an itch to write some of my own--not necessarily fanfic, but just about anything. I have a couple of really good (I think) story ideas, but I'm having trouble translating that to paper...or word processor...or whatever. Add to that the fact that we're so busy in July, and though I really *want* to write, it's hard to find the time and energy.

My body has insisted that it's time to get up at 5am every day this week. I don't get it. Not only that, but all week long, I would swear that it's a day later than it actually is. My brain and my body are messing with me. Not only that, but AUGH, oh my god, could the days go ANY SLOWER?

I'm trying to find a Hawaiian shirt for my mom's wedding, but have also thought that it might be cute to find a dress, but that is turning out to be more difficult. I...no. I don't know why I want a dress, really. I just don't. But I think I found something that will be cute and fun.

I hate packing to move. That is all.

In other news.

Moving sucks. Moving sucks a lot.

But.

It's also official--we *are* moving, signed the lease yesterday, and the place we're moving into is quite lovely, an independently owned townhouse. No more apartment living, woohoo! Three floors, a nice little courtyard out front, and just a ton of space. I just can't say enough good things about it. The only drawback is that the two non-master bedrooms are pretty small, but there are ways to work around that.

Even better, not only is the place just the coolest thing ever, the owners are also positively wonderful. They're both very nice, and the current tenants had a lot of good things to say about them when we went to take a look.

So, while the packing and moving aspects are just SO not fun, I am so excited to be moving into a lovely new space.

I...don't get it.

Dad: 'Maybe they should have looked in the trunk'

My heart breaks for the three families in New Jersey who lost their sons. Really. I can't even imagine what they must be going through.

But I don't understand this.

The father of one of the boys wonders why police didn't check the trunk of the car that was right near where the boys were playing. "That was the first place to look," he says.

Here's my question.

Your boys are missing. They were playing in the yard right next to the car. Why didn't *you* look? Why wasn't that somewhere the *parents* checked straight away? Why is it the responsibility of the police officers to do that?

Why blame the NJ police for something that, I would imagine, they figured had already been done before the boys were reported missing?

I don't understand.

Snarl.

Man, today is a bad day. I keep trying to focus my energy somewhere else, to try and make the bad mood go away, something, *anything* to get some kind of positive energy going, but someone out there is giving me the colossal cosmic finger, so I get none. It sucks. It's beautiful outside, nice and warm with a lovely breeze, and I am stuck inside having to deal with work, and people are being idiots, and arrrgh.

And I have to go to class tonight, too, when all I want is to go home and go to bed and just sleep until the crappy mood goes away.

Alas.

Sometimes the world of being an adult and living up to those commitments and responsibilities really sucks. A lot.

Should've known better.

I should have remembered that, for me, non-drowsy and pseudoephedrine are mutually exclusive concepts, no matter what the cold medicine packaging claims. Especially after only eight or nine hours of sleep over two days.

This ought to be an entertaining day--at work while trying to hang on to some thin scrap of wakefulness.

Wish me luck.

Obsession.

How you turn my world you precious thing

I'm not sure what it is lately, maybe it's hormones, maybe it's the upcoming masquerade (eeee, I ordered my dress and got my wings, now I just need to find a mask!), maybe it's rediscovering a fandom that I loved and have sorely missed, I don't know, but I am seriously obsessed with Labyrinth these days.

I ought to watch the movie again, just to get it out of my head, but I'm not sure that will help. Listening to the soundtrack certainly hasn't.

Nor has reading fanfic--and...well, maybe this little facet of my personality isn't so well known as I thought, so I won't preface this with 'anyone who knows me very well,' and will simply say this: I have Issues with fanfic, so the fact that I'm reading any at all is strange in and of itself.

Why issues with fanfic?

Well, one reason really depends on the genre--I had to stop reading Harry Potter fanfic because I was starting to get the book canon vs the fanfic canon all messed up. If the writer isn't finished with the series, there's a big hazard that I'll get the worlds mixed up, and...yeah. I've tried very hard to stay away from HP fanfic, though for anyone who's interested in a Severus Snape mentors Harry kind of thing, I strongly recommend Aspen in the Sunlight's 'A Year Like None Other,' which is on skyehawke (archive.skyehawke.com, click on Popular Stories, hers is right at the top). But that one fic aside, I don't read HP stuff anymore--I can't. LotR is somewhat safer, as is Labyrinth, since the stories are finished, but...

The other problem I have with fanfic is that oh so much of it is written by either 15 year old girls who have no idea what life is really like, people who want to insert themselves into the story so make horrible Mary Sue-ish original characters, or people who have no command of the English language and refuse to get a beta reader so instead force their reader to try and figure out just what the fuck they're talking about because they don't know how to format dialogue and can't spell worth a damn and...arrrg. Yes, I am a self-admitted grammar nazi. Yes, I know I am not perfect, not by any stretch of the imagination, but if your summary is full of AOL or l33t speak, or if you misspell names of the main characters, or forget that there are supposed to be spaces after punctuation marks, well, sorry. I won't read your stuff.

ANYway. So, I've been reading a lot of Labyrinth fanfic lately--all Jareth/Sarah, of course--and have had to wade through a ton of CRAP to find a few of the jewels that I have, and none of this has helped me solve the obsession. Hell, maybe it's caused it, for all that I know. But if anyone's interested, I can make some recommendations.

But I'll be there for you,
As the world falls down

Utterly mundane.

This entry is pretty much devoid of any real content.

I'm amused, though. Last quarter when I registered for classes, my registration date was they absolute last day possible for returning students. My summer registration date, if I choose to take classes for the quarter, is three days earlier this time.

I guess I'm moving up in the world.

See? I told you it was devoid of real content.

Dispatches. Again.

I haven't written much recently, since the events of April 13th are still sort of burned into my head. I'm a lot better now than I was then, but there are still days when it creeps up on me without any sort of notice.

On one hand, I feel like an idiot--I didn't know the guy, I didn't witness the accident, so I'm kind of baffled that it still has a hold on me and my daily life.

On the other hand, that's not the kind of thing you see ever day, and not the kind of thing that you can just shrug and forget about.

Either way, that's been part of the cause behind why I haven't written all that much. I'm also up to my ears in dealing with classes--for all that most of the work in the English class was supposed to be *in* class, that hasn't turned out to be the case.

Today, though, I felt compelled to write, because in remembering what a friend of mine wrote not long ago, I had a good experience at lunch today.

When I walked into the Subway, the guy behind the counter looked like I feel at my job--bored, tired, ready to go home, not really caring about what was going on in front of him. I smiled at him anyway, and I think it startled him a bit, but he smiled back. I kept on all throughout the time when he was fixing my sandwich, and when he passed me off to the cashier, he wished me a good day and went on to help the next customer--all with a smile on his face.

As for me, I walked out feeling a lot better than I felt when I walked in.

Now if I could just *keep* that smile going, I'd be in business.

Amazing.

It's amazing to me just how quickly a good mood can evaporate when it's already tenuous.

I have been in a pissy mood since yesterday--day three of the headache from hell (now on day four!) was not helping, and other stuff conspired to just make me really angry and upset and frustrated with the world in general. No Wombat and dinner with Brett last night helped, but it carried over into this morning, when I woke up just cranky.

It started to turn around as I was headed out to my car. There's a guy on our floor who has a lovely black lab/retriever mix, and the guy is nice, but the dog is just incredibly friendly and always happy to see you if she knows who you are. They got off the elevator, she stopped by my feet with her tail wagging like mad, he smiled at me and wished me a good morning, and that really lifted my mood in a huge way.

It even carried over into the commute, which is unusual--most often, the dickhead drivers out here leave me frothing about some stupid thing or another by the time I get to work. But this time, that didn't happen, and I was really strangely encouraged by that.

And then, I got to work.

All it took was two emails, one from a developer and one from a client, to suck every last vestige of a good mood out of me and shoot it into outer space. Sigh. It sucks that it happens so quickly.

Ankle grabbing.

Good god. Now, with apologies to my friends in Europe, because I know that you guys also pay a metric assload for gas, but seriously. Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.

Today, I filled up my 16-gallon gas tank, and paid over $40 to do it. Brett paid almost $50 the other day while we were out for dinner. I was appalled the first time I paid over $30, then over $35, now I'm just kind of outraged--especially since the price of oil has fallen over the past couple of days, but the price of gas has not.

My commute is already only three miles, and I can go weeks without filling up, so I guess maybe I shouldn't bitch much, but still. It's seriously bend over and grab your ankles time.

One of the places that we're looking to move to within the next few months is within walking distance of my office. That will be sweet, then I'll barely use my car at all, heh. I've already had it for more than two years and haven't even broken 19,000 miles.

It's just lots and lots of suck.

All lies!

I really ought to make a school sub-category, rather than filing it all under the general 'babble' category. Then, I could tag entries appropriately, and anyone who doesn't want to read about my college foo wouldn't have to.

But yes, intrepid freshman went back last night for second day of classes, and of course, this is when the real work started. Geography was interesting, we went over the basics of the study, got some numbers on how big the earth is, talked about the tropics and the poles, and...realized that our teacher is a bit of a fruit bat. She's funny, she's engaging, but she's also kind of pleasantly batty.

English, now...in the first class meeting, the Good Doc told us that we'd do a majority of our work in class. Those who felt they wanted to 'get ahead' by doing the reading and answering some of the study guide questions could do so, but it wasn't a requirement. And yet last night, she asked who had their speech and their ad--things we were supposed to look up during lab time that we haven't had yet.

I'm beginning to think that when she says that she's passing things out for those of who want to 'get ahead,' we should *all* be doing the work to 'get ahead.' So...it's not really homework, but it is, especially since 5 or 10 percent of our grade is a 'teacher subjective' thing, where she looks at our behavior, our class participation, and grades us accordingly. Doing work ahead of time falls under that teacher subjective thing, I'm quite sure, and it's going to be a *lot* of work.

By the same token, it's also very thought provoking and very interesting, so while I will have to bust my ass this quarter, it'll be worth it. I hope. If she doesn't send me off to the loony bin as a gibbering mess.

In other news...

It's been raining today, and very weird. Goes from dribbling to coming straight down in sheets, to blowing to the left, then blowing to the right...it's quite freaky. There's a break in the clouds right now, but it's probably another sucker hole, since I can see more grey to the west.

I am ready for summer. Or, at least, ready for warmer mornings where I don't freeze during my brief walk to the car because it's cold out and my hair's wet.

We'll be having visitors soon--I turned up with extra tickets to Jimmy Buffett, so some friends of ours are going to come down and go to the concert with us. Yay, JB next Saturday!

Work drives me nuts. Whiny people drive me nuts. Nothing is new there.

I'm also baffled by people who continue to ask for help with something, even though I've told them that I either know nothing about what they're asking for help with, or have told them that I won't answer their questions because they don't *need* help if only they'd expend a little bit of effort.

There's a gem show this weekend, but I'm not sure I'm going to go. Money's part of the issue, but I also think that I really need to start cleaning the apartment, and start in on packing. We're not even sure when we're moving yet, or where, just that we are, but...it would save time and frustration later if the non-essential stuff started now.

And...it's FRIDAY!

If the feminine of dominator...

...is dominatrix, does that mean that the feminine of procrastinator is procrastinatrix?

It's utterly nonsensical, I have no idea why I was thinking about that this morning, and definitely no idea why I even mentioned it now, except that it's still kicking around in my brain. Y'all knew already that I was warped.

- School stuff

My first night of classes was last night, we'll see how it goes. It'll be interesting to be on campus until 10:30 every night, but this quarter, I have two professors who both seem to be very engaging and very interesting, so that's good.

The English writing class is all about (re)learning the lost art of argumentative/persuasive writing, which is something that really interests me. If last night is any indication, her teaching methods will make things a lot of fun, and will take something of a different approach. Some of the people on Rate My Professors have rated her poorly because she uses chakras to teach--this explains the colored markers/highlighters she asked us to get as part of our supply list.

- I cause controversy

One of the things that we have to do in class is to give a researched persuasive speech as part of our final grade. In order to prepare us for this, she had us right down three or four things we were passionate about, and she asked us to read some of them off.

Nope, not gun ownership rights this time, but instead...

"A person's right to die, and the fact that the government should *never* have gotten involved in the Terri Schiavo issue. It should never have been made a lobbying point for politicians or congress, whether republican, democrat, or anywhere in between."

By the horrified gasps from some of my classmates, I think that I will be the source of controversy yet again.

But it does have the makings of a great speech, doesn't it?

- I am horrified

My geography class was actually the first one of the day. By way of introduction, when she called the roll, the teacher asked us to tell her what we'd like to be called, and give her the name of a place we'd like to go but have never been to. When it came around to be my turn, I said, "Pompeii." She said, "Oh, want to see dead bodies buried under rocks and things? Lots of history there!"

Noting the blank looks of most of the rest of the class, she added, "Should we tell them what it is, or should we make them look it up?"

I laughed, but still, I'm also kind of horrified--I mean, I don't expect anyone to know the details about the place, but don't you think that's something they'd have heard of, even once? It was very boggle worthy.

All in all, though, I think I chose well this quarter, both for classes and for instructors. The English class might be a bit different than normal, but still, I'm excited.

Shuffle.

As a general rule, I pretty much hate daylight savings time. Losing an hour of my day and having to completely adjust my body's internal clock every spring sucks. It also has some unpleasant associations--my paternal grandmother died just prior to it, so when I was a senior in high school, in addition to having to fly cross country and back while dealing with jet lag, I also had to deal with DST to boot.

This time, it's less stressful, it's just adjusting to the 8-5 schedule rather than the 5-2. It's very sad that waking up at 6:00am feels somehow decadent and sinful. This is only my second day at it, I'm sure things will change the longer I spend, but as it is, around 2:30 or 3 yesterday, I was ready for a nap.

Spring quarter starts today for me, so after work, I'm in class from 6:10 til 10:30.

I also need to get my shit together and start making and taking pictures of jewelry, and putting it all up on the website. There's a gem show this weekend at the San Mateo Expo, so I'm going to go up and replenish some of my supply, then I am going to start working on that more often, dammit. It's so easy to sit back and say, "Oh, I'm tired, I had a long day at work, I'll just do something tomorrow." Tomorrow turns into the next day, which turns into the weekend, which turns into next week, and so forth. I'd planned initially to have the website operational by the end of January, but...um...yeah. It's up! But has next to no content, nor can anyone shop from it. Not good.

An amusing side note from this past weekend: on Sunday, we went to the Great Mall to get a pair of sunglasses for my loving husband, and to see about getting a lightweight jacket for me. He was successful, I was not. We went to Dave and Busters for lunch, and on a whim, we decided to see how many 'Winners Circle' points we'd racked up--turns out we had almost 28,000. We were saving up for a digital video camera (...I know), but since Brett bought one not long ago, that fell by the wayside. We poked around briefly, and almost left without redeeming any of the points--though the GameBoy Advance caught my eye as we were getting ready to leave, and I thought about it. Then, doom.

Brett: "Hey, look, you could get an iPod Shuffle!"

So, to condense an already long story, I spent 25,000 of my D&Bs points and got myself an iPod Shuffle.

Now, if only I could get the )!#(*)^(&!)#& thing to work. Maybe it's the iTunes software rather than the iPod itself, but ease of use is not going to be something I recommend the thing to anyone for. At this rate, they'll be lucky if I decide to recommend it at all. :)

Oops.

I was doing so well, posting more frequently. I'm not sure what happened over the past week or so, I think time just got away from me. That's something that describes the whole of my life really well--time just got away from me. It's almost April already, y'all. I can't believe it. Last quarter's class passed by in what seems to be the blink of an eye, a week removed from the course--it didn't seem quite like that during lecture sometimes. And seriously, just yesterday, I swear it was Christmas, and the day before that, I was freaking out over the craft show thing I did in November.

Time is such a funny thing. I remember being in school, measuring life in chunks of time that could roughly be classified as school year til Christmas, school year til summer, and summer vacation.

The comment made by one of the men who works in my building--or maybe used to work here, I haven't seen him for awhile--still rings in my mind a lot of the time. So much time spent wishing for the weekend, counting days, minutes, hours until it's time for vacation. He was so right when he said that we were wishing our lives away.

I've tried to be better about that in the days that followed, but I don't know how successful I've been. Maybe moreso than I thought, when I can sit here and wonder where the past three months have gone, wonder how they went so fast.

There's no point to this, really, just...feeling strangely adrift today, and I'm not sure why. Maybe I just need more sleep. :)

Sunrise.

One of the really cool things about working the uber-early shift is that I always get to watch the sun rise. Well. Not precisely the sun, my window faces south, so I get to watch as the sky gradually gets brighter, but still, for some reason, I just love that I'm able to see it. It's been completely involuntary, but I've been made into a morning person. This morning it's really strange--this is the first morning for awhile that it's been clear out, and that it's so bright so early is really noticable. Had it been clear for the past week or so, I'm sure I wouldn't have noticed it the way I am today.

Today is my final exam for my government class, and because I am the ultimate procrastinator, I am finishing off some of my reading today. I will not be glad to see the back of this one, particularly for the book on California government that I've been subjected to. The subject matter is dry in the first place, though they try to make it interesting. Most of the problems would be solved by better editing, though--the grammar is atrocious, the sentence structure is horrible, there are a ton of spelling errors, and the type face varies from chapter to chapter--sometimes even from page to page. Add to that the fact that it's very obvious that the book was written by very left-leaning Democrats, and that one of the contributing authors is Latino who is very...angry. I get that it's a locally published book, but still, there has got to be a way to write and publish a decent, non-partisan and non-racially biased textbook on the basics of California government. I wish these people had found it.

I got one of the two books I need for next quarter, it was waiting for me when I got home on Wednesday. I need to call the bookstore and raise hell, since I only got one of them. They wrote on the slip that the other book was a late order, but I have no idea whether that means they intend to ship it to me when I arrive, or whether I'm basically SOL and will have to contend with the bookstore lines when the quarter starts. That would suck.

Today, my mom gets married. She got the beaded flower pins I made for her, and she'll be able to use them both. For some reason, that makes me happy--I can't be there, but I'll be thinking of her, and she'll be wearing something I made for her when they finally make it all official. I can't explain it, it just...makes me happy.

I know I wrote something in the recent past about feeling the need to get in touch with family, but I don't remember when that was, or whether it was here or in Livejournal. In the end, that part doesn't matter all that much, I suppose. I've started trading emails with my stepdad, though--more than just the occasional 'Merry Christmas' we've tentatively started sharing over the past year and a half or so, and...it's a good thing. I don't know how far it will go, or whether anything else will come of it, but even just this much provides me some sense of...balance or stability, somehow. That may be a subject for more writing at a later date, we'll see. For now, though, it's just another good thing.

Regrets.

Have you ever done something, or perhaps *not* done something you should have, as a manager, a boss, a game administrator, a friend, a loved one... Have you ever not done something you should've done because you felt that you didn't have enough information, or that you felt that you couldn't, or that precedent had you taking the path of least resistance, or even (or maybe especially) because you dislike confrontation?

And has that decision, especially that one to *not* do something, turned out to be the wrong one later? Months later, years later, it doesn't matter, because now, that decision you made not to act...now, it's causing problems for other people--people you care about, people you love, people whose friendships you value.

How do you apologize to all of those people for not doing something you should have? How do you deal with the overpowering sense of regret that it makes you feel? That paralyzing 'I could have, *should have* done something' feeling...or, even worse, feeling that all the reasons you gave at the time are now useless--things that are, in the grander scheme, nothing more than flimsy excuses.

Because I *do* regret now what I didn't do then. I hate that I backed down, that I gave up my opportunity to do something because it was easier for me. I hate that it's now up to someone else to do something that I should have.

Oh yes, I regret.

Musings, part two.

I bought my books for spring quarter today, and I am absolutely baffled. I'm actually getting off relatively inexpensively: two classes, two books, $84--including shipping. This is a far cry from last quarter, where I paid almost $250 for two classes, five books...some of which I didn't even get to use due to the fiasco that was my early American history class.

I'm approaching this quarter with a grim sort of determination, mostly because of the English writing class. I really need to just get it done (snerk, I have watched too much Blue Collar Comedy, because now all I can hear is 'git-r-done'), I've tried it at least three times, that I can remember, and it may be more than that, for all I really know.

I keep hoping that I'll win the lottery one of these days, so that I can go back to school full time. It would be nice to be able to do that, to be able to pursue my educational goals without having to worry about such pesky things as continuing to make a living and paying bills.

---

My mom's getting married on Friday in Texas--her fiance's dad is also getting married this weekend (Saturday), and he's going to be the one to perform the ceremony for Mom and Spouse-To-Be, so I guess it's sort of a kill two birds with one stone situation. I think they're also trying to make sure he doesn't have to travel this summer, when they will be having the big party up in Seattle.

I'm really excited for them, they've been together for more than 9 years now, and after a bit of a rocky start, I get along fabulously well with him. Not that my getting along well with him is really the primary criteria, but I'm sure it helps my mom that there's harmony in the family.

So...yeah. Excited. Bummed that I couldn't go to Texas to be there for the actual event, but the party in July will be teh awesome. :)

---

Today's snicker-worthy advertisement from my calendar:

ON SALE: Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play.

Student musings.

Today is the last day of instruction for my American Government and Politics class. Originally, the professor tried to see if he could have us take the final exam today, but the administration wouldn't let him. I have to confess, I'm happy that it didn't happen--the thought that we would have had to cram four chapters (the executive branch, the bureaucracy, the judiciary, public policy) and an entire book (though small) on California government in two class days was rather daunting. As it is, we have to get through the judiciary, public policy, and California government today. We'll see how well that works. Something tells me that public policy may fall by the wayside.

I'm not sure how I've done in the class, exactly...well. That's not entirely true, I can gauge some measure of performance based on my test scores. My first test, which I was positive I had completely bombed, turned out to be the highest score in class. I'm sure my classmates just love it when one or two of us completely blow the curve. The second test, while I did quite well on the short answer questions, the multiple choice...not so much. It didn't help that I was in Tucson for part of it, so I missed two days of lecture. I did well on the short answer questions for the third test, too, and I'll see today how well I did on the multiple choice. Somehow, I'll probably wrangle a B out of the class--I can't get any higher, due to the professor's policy on missing classes.

I can see why it's required for graduation from any UC or SU school, but bleah. Though the professor is an interesting speaker, the subject matter is very dry. He also teaches international politics at San Jose State, and something tells me that one would be more interesting. Either way, though, since it's not something I have a lot of interest in, I've really had to work to not only keep attending the class, but to keep up with reading and make sure that I get a passing grade.

Next quarter, I move back to the 8am shift, which will be a welcome change. My classes are still on Tuesday/Thursday evenings, and I'll be getting home somewhere around 11pm those nights, but at least I'll still have plenty of time to sleep. I'm taking yet another stab at English Writing 1A, which I've signed up for god only knows how many times. I'm determined to get through it, though. I'm also taking a World Geography course, which fulfills one of my elective requirements, and should be interesting study--an overview of the world's geography, including culture, religion, region, etc.

Meanwhile, University of Phoenix keeps bugging the hell out of me, wanting me to come back. Don't have all the credits required to start your core program? No problem, we have another arm of our online university that you can go through! It'll still cost you an arm and a leg, but please, take out some more student loans and come join us!

Funny thing is, I don't think I'm going to be going back there at all, which is an epiphany I just came to recently, though it shouldn't have taken so long. I was in UoP's MBA-Management program, but it was only in an effort to get *some* kind of degree, not out of any true desire to actually make that my course of study, not to get a degree that I *wanted*.

So, what's the point of going into a ton of debt for student loans for something I don't want? Better to go do what I really want to do, even if it'll take longer, right? It may mean that I'm a student for the rest of my natural life, since I don't think I'll ever be able to go to school full time. All of that sucks, but...better that than being in debt for something I didn't want in the first place.

SJSU/SCU, here I come. Eventually. :)

Today's 'why' question.

Question of the day for today:

Why are so many of us always so concerned with what other people are doing?

I know most people do this, I know that I'm not exempt. Why is so much of our mental real estate so focused on other people? Things like, "Why is he doing that?" Or, "Why is she wearing that?"

Those are simplistic examples, really, and I know that sometimes the 'what the hell is going on' question is centered on how said other person's behavior affects us personally.

It makes me wonder, though...how often is that used as an excuse? How often do we tell ourselves that we have a right to be outraged, when really, it doesn't matter to us in the long run?

No, I really don't know what brought this on, I really don't. I'm sure it was probably thinking about something work related, but in the end, I have no idea.

Just more food for thought, I guess.

Flattery will get you everywhere.

I had a ticket opened for me on Friday of last week by a client who I have been working with since his company first purchased the product, not too long after I first started working here. He was one of the first people to ever send a compliment about me to my boss back then, and was very effusive in his praise that I hadn't immediately fallen back on the 'NT sucks, reboot' crutch, but had tried to troubleshoot the problem instead. (He ended up rebooting, but at least we tried to identify the cause first!)

Anyway, yesterday I talked to him about the ticket he opened on Friday, and need to consult development about it. In the meantime, I told him to try something that I thought would work, given my current experience with the product.

Today, I asked him how it turned out. He sent email back: "Did what you said it would do, as expected as it came from you."

Aw.

Dispatches.

No big thing to write about today, just a few random comments.

- I saw another snail this morning as I was headed into the office. It amuses me to think it was the same one I saw the other day, even though I know it's probably not.

- Rain makes drivers stupid.

- Also, if I am merging onto the freway, and if I have managed to get my car up to the speed of traffic *before* I have to merge, what's the point in speeding up just to pass me, nearly running me off the road because you can only catch up just as the merge lane ends, then flipping *me* off over it?

- Math makes my brain melt, even with the help of Excel.

- English writing 1A is on tap for next quarter, provided I can get into any of the sections. I'm also looking at a world geography course, and an intra-solar system astronomy course, just for fun.

- Sleep is a good thing. I don't get enough of it.

- And most importantly, today is Friiiiiiday! All hail the most wonderful of days, FRIDAY!

Snails.

When I was fourteen, my stepdad sold the house we'd lived in since before my brother was born and moved us across the valley--to a place that only went the way of the dodo (for our family) when he remarried, which was many many years after I left. I loved the old house, it was two floors plus an unfinished basement, with a solarium from which we could watch the storms come in across the valley (until they started aggressively developing the neighborhood) and a huge back yard. If we'd stayed there, I'd have gone to high school with the man who's now my best friend. As it was, we didn't meet until after we'd both graduated.

The place we moved to wasn't a bad house--probably the nicest on our circle, though it looked like the smallest, since only the first floor was above ground; the basement was furnished, and in addition to his bedroom, that's where most of the family activity happened. The living room upstairs was a place to keep the sectional and to play host to the Christmas tree...sometimes. My room was the only one on the front of the house, and since it was ground level, I think my stepdad gave me ingenuity points that I didn't have, because there always seemed to be a lot of concern about whether I was sneaking out of the house and how. I never did.

Anyway, the walkway that lead up to the front door of this new house (which we almost never used) was surrounded on both sides by this weird ivy-like groundcover that didn't require a lot of light to grow--for the best, because there was not a lot of light the way the place was situated. It's so hard to explain in text with no pictures, but the carport was on the left, then there was a roof-to-ground fence, a small strip of this ivy ground cover, a sidewalk leading to the front door, then more of the ivy ground cover between the sidewalk and the house.

It didn't take very long after we moved in for me to realize that walking *anywhere* on the concrete, whether to the sidewalk leading to the front door, or from the basketball hoop in the driveway to the back door, was *not* a good thing to be doing after dark.

You see, after dark, the snails came out.

And it's not that the snails squicked me, because they didn't--I was one of those kids, even at fifteen and sixteen, I was picking them up and messing around with them.

No, the problem wasn't the snails themselves, but the sheer *volume* of snails that would come out at night. In the morning, the concrete was *covered* in that weird silvery goo they left behind, countless snail tracks, criss-crossing the sidewalk. It was absolutely impossible to walk to either door of the house without seeing at least two or three, sometimes more than that.

I lost count of the number of times I stepped on them. After the first couple that I stepped on barefoot, I learned not to go outside without shoes. After the next few, ones I stepped on even though I was trying hard to avoid them, I gave up and stopped trying to avoid them. Amusingly, after that, I didn't step on as many. I got so frustrated by it, though, that I wrote a poem about it for one of my English classes. My teacher was Not Amused.

They always made such a distinctive noise, though, that *pop - squelch* sound that always had me rolling my eyes. "Ew, gross. Stupid snails."

So, what brought this to mind today?

That would be the snail creeping across the asphalt in the parking lot at work...the snail that I very nearly stepped on, but somehow managed to avoid.

Probably just as well. As over-active as my imagination is, especially after something like the Lobster Incident, I'd hate to think what I'd be dreaming about tonight if I'd stepped on the thing. :)

Disconnect.

Over the weekend, I went up for a long overdue visit with a new friend, who mentioned that all the people about whom he really wants to read never post anymore.

It goes in cycles for me--sometimes, I just don't feel like writing. I don't have anything to say, and it's happened to me before. Back in September 2002, I said the following:

I think I've figured out, in part, why I don't feel like writing anymore. The easy answer is that I've started to feel somewhat self-conscious: who cares what kind of bland shit happens in my life every day? I wake up, I go to work, I come home, I MUSH, I go to sleep. That's really about it, that's all there is to my life. I don't have kids, I don't have anything that sets me apart from any other unmarried, childless corporate drone out there, who slaves away for 8 hours a day to make a paycheck, then goes home and tries to forget about it. (And spends money.)

Several of my kick-ass friends replied to that post, and...well, they just reminded me that I have some really kick-ass friends.

The same thing happened this weekend, when I gave a similar reason about why I don't post--who wants to read about my boring life, anyway?

As before, I was humbled by the answer, and reminded that I still have kick-ass friends. And a kick-ass *new* friend, with whom I share a surprising number of interests (and by the way, since I figure you'll be reading, want to borrow the latest Dean Koontz book? I just got it back from someone else I lent it out to, and hey, Matt has a couple of my other ones), and with whom I am *certain* I will get up to a lot of mischief and fun with. I'm really looking forward to seeing what happens next.

But still, new friends aside, there's a big disconnect between my head and my fingers lately.

Part of it is the wacky work schedule and the general issues that I have with work, not to mention the fact that between stupid work schedule making me get up at 3:45am and class, I am simply exhausted and fuzz-brained.

Part of it is, strangely, MUSH related--I hate having conflicts with friends over stuff. I hate being made to feel second class and second best, even if it's accidental on their part (and believe me, accident or no, something that happened a few days ago really did make me feel like complete and utter shit--I'm still stinging over it). I hate that I feel like I have to limit my enjoyment of my character and roleplay with people that I enjoy roleplaying with because of things. (How's that for vague?)

Part of it is just feeling blah in general...but I'm sure that feeds back into the two comments above.

Sometimes, that disconnect is overwhelming, and I don't know how to deal with it. I should be happy. I *am* happy. I have a ton of reasons to be happy, and yet sometimes, it's hard to stay that way.

Disconnect.

Something.

But I'm still here. I'll even try to post more often, but it might not be anything more than a lot of music and book posts. No sports, damn the NHL and NHLPA anyway, damn them straight to hell! :)

Maybe it shouldn't be disconnect. Maybe it should be the goal, the *re*connect.

Hate.

You know, I get that accounts receivable people are basically out to get their money and nothing else--I get that, I do. But gah, they're such pushy bastards.

Dell is saying that I'm past due on the payment for my laptop--which is news to me, given that my bank has already cleared the check, and the image that I can see sure looks like it's got Dell's information across the back of it.

I was going to wait until I had a hard copy of the check before I called them, but foolishly decided against that course of action today.

The AR person I spoke to told me that he couldn't transfer me to the person that I'd asked for--who had told me to ask for her when I called back. He said that there were too many people there for him to transfer me to anyone. I wonder why I'm supposed to ask for a specific monkey, then, when any poo-flinger will do.

Anyway, the long and the short of it is that they have no record of receiving my payment, it's my responsibility to put a stop pay on the check (which...hello, McFly, you're not listening--I can't put a stop pay on a check that has ALREADY CLEARED), and it's also my responsibility to pay them for both the past due amount, and gee, while I'm on the phone, why don't I just go ahead and pay next month's, too--oh, and guess what, there's a $10 service charge for paying via phone. No, you can't pay online, you can only send in payment via the mail.

Because, yeah, that's been oh so effective.

When all was said and done, I still had to pay the amount they say is past due, I'll have to pay the $10 service charge for giving him my bank's routing number and my account number over the phone, and gah, I am pissed off. His pissy attitude sparked mine, so I was a real bitch about the whole thing, but after explaining that I'd already paid the damn bill and they'd cashed my fucking check really annoyed me.

I think I may use some of the money that's left from my bonus to pay the damn thing off so I don't have to deal with this stupid shit anymore.

And I'll never finance anything through Dell again. Which caused the AR guy a fit ("Ma'am, this is just a misunderstanding, this is not our fault..." Actually, buddy, this IS your fault, thanks, now piss off), but screw it. This is the second time something stupid like this has happened with them. Not dealing with it anymore, do not need these ass-hatted monkey chickens destroying what positive work I've managed to do with my credit record.

Incompetent, poo-flinging, spastic monkeys, I swear to god.

Random thoughts.

- So tired. Trip was good, but I am glad to be home, and I am still really tired.

- Not going to have a good day today. One chronically ill co-worker called in sick, another's already scheduled the day off, two are on maternity leave... yeah. Not fun.

- Looking forward to real vacation in May. Woo, honeymoon.

- Probably moving around that time, too. The place is not running at a full occupancy rate, but they still want to raise our rent. We can rent a townhouse or even a real house for cheaper than that.

- Clients who call every hour on the hour for a status update drive me nuts.

- I love my XM radio.

- I am really pissed at the NHL/NHLPA. Have started writing entries several times about just *how* pissed, but realized that there's no point because they wouldn't listen to me anyway--I'm just a fan.

Who, you know, PAYS THEIR SALARY.

- I have too many ideas and not enough energy to put them all into practice.

- Got an A on the test I thought I'd completely bombed. Now looking forward to bombing my next test. Sad that I can only get a B in the class, because I was gone last week.

- I am hoping the soreness in my shoulder will go away. Do not want to have to deal with rotator cuff problems.

- The federal government is greedy. Also, the penalty for early withdrawl of 401k sucks.

- I got two packages from Donors Choose while I was gone. One of them, a kindergarten class, made a book for me to say thanks for funding the teacher's proposal for a water table. The kids had to finish the sentence 'a water table is ______.' One of them informed me that a water table is wet, and another relayed that a water table is a table.

I would die from cuteness, if I could.

- It should be time for sleeping now. I'd really like that. A lot.

Head, meet desk.

And here I thought disabling comments would take care of the comment spam problem. But no, they're getting smarter, so not only do I still have my comments disabled for now (sorry! requires HUGE template change for me to fix it because the MT upgrade didn't auto-convert templates, so I'll get to it when I get to it), I'm also getting spam in trackback pings.

It never ends. :)

Not good. Not good at all.

I've probably written about this before, either here or on Livejournal, but back when I was in jr. high or high school, the PTBs were running this thing called PACE - Positive Attitude Changes Everything. It was eyeroll-worthy even then, but all the little stuff they wanted us to do was just...laughable, really, especially for the social misfits like me. Give a compliment to someone you see in the hallway, find something to be happy about and pass it on, whatever. What they forgot was that some people were made happy by the endless tormenting of us misfits, but that's a story for another time.

Even though the whole PACE thing makes me roll my eyes, I also can't really argue with it. Negative attitude does the same thing, for me--if I'm in a pissy mood, even the smallest things will reinforce it.

Today is one of those days, and I had myself already worked up before I even got to work, thinking about...well, just crappy work stuff. My manager's peers and his boss are all in town today, and several things that have happened since the current regime (my boss's boss) took over still rankle, even though they happened a couple of years ago. It's made worse by things that have been said recently, too, and thinking about that this morning just got me all kinds of pissed off.

Now, all the little things that would ordinarily make me roll my eyes and move along are now just adding fuel to the fire and making me ready to snap.

... Like the fact that one of my co-workers removing the note in the group's calendar that she was late on Monday, even though...hello...she was late! She even called to say that she'd be in late!

... Like two separate clients of mine, who I've provided detailed information for, are pestering me for status requests, even though *I* am waiting for *them*, but I can't politely remind them that I've already asked for more information in order to troubleshoot their problem, oh noooooo, this has to be all MY fault.

... Like the fact that we're having a damn 'diversity' potluck today AT ALL, not to mention the fact that it's scheduled for noon, which means I can either eat late and starve, or eat at my scheduled time and skip the lunch (though at least I brought my dish, but that also pisses me off, mutter)--but, of course, skipping it means that my manager will get into trouble, because gee, the fact that someone has, oh, WORK to do is clearly less important than showing up and...

*cough*

See what I mean? It all just starts to roll together.

I'm trying to remind myself of the PACE thing--perhaps not the specific program at school, but of the general methodology and philosophy.

I'm trying very hard to find my happy place today. I don't want to be a snarly, black mass of annoyance and 'don't come near me' vibes today. It's far too exhausting.

If only I could have stayed home in bed.

Venting.

Okay, this is likely to get me labeled as a completely horrible person by a lot of my friends, but I am quite annoyed at something, and given that this is MY webspace, I am going to rant about it. If you don't want to read me snarking, then go somewhere else and don't read this post.

Believe me, I have no end of sympathy for what happened on December 26th in Southeast Asia. I can't even begin to fathom the destruction, really--and my god, 150,000 people is just staggering to me. The entire population of the city in which I live is just over 100,000, I believe, so to imagine every single resident of this city--and another more than half on top of that--is just...well. Staggering, unbelievable, incredible--and not in the good connotation of the word, either.

Yes, I have sympathy. Yes, I've seen video footage and pictures of the destruction, I've read eyewitness accounts, I've followed a couple of news stories about a couple of specific families. It's heartbreaking.

However.

I'm really starting to get annoyed at being continually bombarded with requests for money. Yeah, actually, I *do* get that these people's lives have been pretty much destroyed, believe it or not. And hey, guess what, I made a donation to the Red Cross through Amazon on the first day they had the link up. I'm trying to save for school and a honeymoon and support myself as well as try to finance a home-based business, but all of that is really small potatoes, in the end, so how could I not give money? For me, it was a given.

I am, however, extremely tired of having to explain this part to the people who are constantly hitting me up for money.

There are links *everywhere*. Amazon still has theirs up, but it's not the full page thing. Weight Watchers has a link. CNN has a link. There are radio commercials for it all over the place. The local TV stations are carrying commercials as well, and the TV ads annoy me *almost* as much as...

...the group of 20 or so people who are on my college campus EVERY SINGLE DAY. The TV commercials show pictures of the destruction and the children and won't you please consider giving money, and here, let us show you all this stuff so that we can make you feel guilty for being what you are, for having what you have, for living where you live, because we KNOW that if you feel guilty, you'll give us more money. At least I can turn those off.

But the people on campus are even worse. They've also got pictures, but not only that, they've got sob stories, and they've got this way of looking at their prey that is designed to make people feel like they're utterly horrible if someone should happen to say no--and that's exactly what I feel like. Prey.

I've seen it happen to other people, I've seen it directed to me. 99 percent of the time, everyone who walks by says that they've already donated--and while I'm sure that there may be some who haven't but are just saying they have to make the solicitors go away, I think that, for the most part, people are being truthful.

Except that's not enough. "Are you sure you can't give more? Have you seen..." Cue the flashing of the pictures, and the horror stories about the children, or disease, or lack of food and shelter, or lack of medical care, everything.

The campus is still blanketed with them, and not only that, but there are a ton of them from different groups--and again, it's not enough that you gave money to the Red Cross, but no, Save The Children also wants money, as does UNICEF, and CARE, and Habitat For Humanity International. Each time anyone passes, they're solicited for a donation, no matter if they just said no to another organization not two feet away, or hell, even the SAME organization two feet away.

Worse than the ones who line the walkways are the ones that come into the cafeteria--three nights, I have been in the cafeteria between classes, and each night, the SAME WOMAN has made the rounds of the room at least four times in the 45 minutes that I sit there. Every single time, she hits me up for money, even though she's already done it before. I don't expect her to know that she saw me last Tuesday, of course--how could I? But that I'm sitting in the same spot in the cafeteria all four times she passes by? I mean, come on.

It's horrible, it makes me feel like an awful person, but jesus christ, it's enough to make me NOT want to contribute the next time anything like this happens, because I am just SO TIRED of this. If they were more polite, I'd be fine with it, but the presumption from some that I'm lying when I say I've already donated, and the flat out rudeness of others, it just galls me.

Ugh.

It's so strange...

It's very odd to me that there is something about almost everything lately that reminds me of North Carolina. How's that for a convoluted sentence? But seriously...

It was James Taylor a couple of weeks ago, and today, it's the wild storm that's dumping a ton of rain, but has also brought brilliant flashes of lightning and booming rolls of thunder along with it.

We don't get thunderstorms very often out here--I have to confess, that's one of the biggest things I miss about both NC and Utah both. In Utah, living on the east benches as we were, I got to watch the storm clouds stack up over the Great Salt Lake until they were so heavy with precipitation that they were almost black. The lightning was a spectacle, but it was the thunder that really made an impression. It would roll in and echo off the mountains behind the house, roll *back* across the valley and echo across those mountains, and...the process would repeat itself. The sound would fade with each echo, yes, but it always seemed like it'd take forever for the thunder to die off.

In NC, the thunderstorms would happen pretty often during the summer, and I remember days when I'd be at home, and it'd be sunny when I went into the barn, and pouring rain when I came back out. The lightning was more impressive there--there were flashes that hit pretty close to the house that were just blinding.

I've been watching the lightning this morning--by now, almost an hour since I actually started the post, it's gone--and it just...reminds me.

Memory is such a strange thing.

Busy is an understatement.

You'd think, with all the bullshit going on inside the NHL (and don't even get me started on that) that I'd actually have something approaching free time, since there's no season going on, wouldn't you? The strange thing is, I feel like I've been busy for a few months now, even though I know that's not true. Weird.

It's about to get even busier, however--winter quarter starts today, and I officially start classes tomorrow. I still want to pursue something from University of Phoenix (for the time being), but I need to finish up some elective work before I can do that, so back to DeAnza I go. This quarter, I have:

History of the United States to the Early National Era. United States civilization to early National Era. A survey of the social, cultural, political, economic and intellectual development of the Colonial Era with emphasis on the era of the American Revolution, the development of the Constitution, and the role of the major ethnic, social and gender groups in the American experience.

American Government and Politics. Critical examination of the contemporary and historical struggle for the development of democratic political institutions in the United States at the state, local, and national levels. Particular emphasis given to the conflict between traditional elite's versus historically disenfranchised social groups (women, people of color, and workers) in the conduct of U.S. political life. (You know, I think my concerns about this class may be valid, and I haven't even attended yet.)

Not only that, but I'm hoping to get my business up and running--gone live, so to speak, within the next few days. I kept telling people that it'd be after the first of the year, and well, this is after the first of the year, to be sure. I just need a few more pictures, then I think I may be set. I'm sure there are a ton of things I've forgotten, but I'm sure those will be taken care of in due time. The question will be whether I can handle all that without freaking out.

But wait! There's more!

I've waffled about getting back into dealing with horses--riding, driving, whatever--for quite awhile. Being back in contact with Ann again has fueled that desire even further, so I've finally gone and done something about it. There's a farm on the way to Casa de Renfaire that I admire horses from every time we pass by--well, they're Morgans, I found out, the same breed I used to spend my summers with. I sent them an email just to see what's involved, so I may end up with that on my plate, too.

I also have a trade show in Tucson that I'm headed to in the first week of February, and we are fiiiiiinally taking our honeymoon--Kona Village the first week in May.

All while trying to work a full time job, not to mention spending time with my wonderful husband and my equally awesome friends.

I think I may just be loading my plate a bit too heavily. We'll see how it turns out. School and work need to take first priority, of course--I really do need to get my ass in gear, as far as school is concerned. I've made so many attempts to go back that it's just laughable now.

In spite of all of that, I have no resolution for the new year, really, except the desire to make sure that this year is better than last, but that's well within my realm of control. I just have to be sure to take it.

Happy.

Remember the other day when I was hoping that the person I found on Classmates was the person that I wanted it to be?

It was.

I spent an hour on Thursday night talking to my stepmom, catching up, and we've been exchanging emails rather frequently since then as well. It makes me so happy that we're back in touch again--words can't even describe. It was a great Christmas present.

Even though I had a lovely holiday, I'm also rather glad that it's over for another year. There wasn't even a lot of stress involved--everyone's gifts arrived with no problem, there were no shipping mishaps, everyone loved what they received, I love what I received, but...I'm just glad it's over for another year.

This week brings New Year's Eve, and more dinner and good conversation with friends, and closure on yet another year. In looking back on it, 2004 was really pretty good to me, all things considered. I made some new friends, I got in touch with two people I've really been missing, I've learned a new skill, and I've put myself back into college for what's probably the fifth or sixth time, but hey, who's counting?

Here's hoping that 2005 is even better.

In my mind...

I've been listening to a local station that's playing only Christmas music this week--it's okay, the reception in the office isn't great, and I'm really freaking tired of Mariah Carey, but it's kind of nice.

This morning, James Taylor's version of Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas came on, and...well, I didn't really hear that song. As soon as I heard his voice, a different song was going through my head: Carolina In My Mind. It's on his Greatest Hits CD, and I can't tell you how many times I heard it while I was growing up.

In my mind I'm goin' to Carolina
Can't you see the sunshine
Can't you just feel the moon shinin'
Ain't it just like a friend of mine
To hit me from behind
Yes I'm goin' to Carolina in my mind

I don't know what it was, but I couldn't get around it--all of a sudden, my mind was flooded with the last Christmas I'd spent there, in 1990. My grandma's last Christmas, though we didn't know it at the time. She wasn't doing well, though, which is the whole reason I flew out there for it, rather than staying at home in Salt Lake City.

The weather in Raleigh was balmy by comparison to the bitter cold and snow I'd left behind; I remember sitting at the kitchen table in that house I'd always secretly hoped to inherit someday, with the sliding glass door open and a warm (for me, then) breeze blowing through. I could hear the sounds of the horses in the barn carried to me on the wind, and remember shaking my head a lot over the fact that my dad and stepmom's only tree was a tiny little Norfolk Island Pine that they'd put a few lights on.

Karen she's a silver sun
You best walk her way and watch it shinin'
Watch her watch the mornin' come
A silver tear appearing now I'm cryin'
Ain't I goin' to Carolina in my mind

Nothing makes me more homesick for that place than thinking about my grandparents and spending time in their house, or spending time on the farm--what my stepmom called it, even though all they had were some really lovely Morgan horses and a barn full of polydactyl kittens.

Grandma's house was always decorated well for the holiday, even then. A huge tree that was covered in lights--more lights than ornaments. Garland, sometimes, and an angel on top. And maybe it's that the Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas always makes me think of my grandma, that's why I started this little trip, I don't know. I'd give anything to be able to sit in that kitchen again, on one of those horribly uncomfortable wooden barstools, with a half full jar of dry-roasted peanuts sitting on the counter, and the mingled smells of bread, coffee, and fig newtons in the air. There was always a pot of coffee on, and always a pitcher of iced tea--southern style, of course, so sweet you could stand a fork up in it.

There ain't no doubt in no one's mind
That loves the finest thing around
Whisper something soft and kind
And hey babe the sky's on fire, I'm dyin'
Ain't I goin' to Carolina in my mind

Not that I didn't love the farm, too, because I did. Raleigh's suburban sprawl hadn't managed to claim it, the last time I was there--I'm hoping that it never manages. It's close enough to the city to still be urban, but far enough away that there's not a lot of light pollution. It's horse country up there--most of the families who live there have barns and horses, and when I was learning to drive the cart, it wasn't all that uncommon to see another person doing the same thing.

When he and my stepmom split up, they sold the house to some friends of hers, and she moved away. I've missed her ever since, I've always regretted not keeping in touch with her. (Break for picking jaw up off the floor--she's registered with Classmates.com...oh, please, let this be the right person. Please.)

(Edited 5:45pm 12/22 to add: It is her. I feel like I've been whacked upside the head with a board.)

In my mind I'm goin' to Carolina
Can't you see the sunshine
Can't you just feel the moon shinin'
Ain't it just like a friend of mine
To hit me from behind
Yes I'm goin' to Carolina in my mind

It's always my grandparents that I go back to, though, especially now. The need to go back and pay my respects is always there--sometimes more pressing than others, but never truly gone. It's always in the back of my mind. I want to just sit there and tell them about all the things that have happened to me, all the good things going on in my life, even though I'm sure they know already. I want to apologize to my grandpa that I never got a chance to say goodbye. But most of all, I want to tell them both how much I love and miss them, how I think about them every day, and how the strangest things can spark a memory of them that's strong enough to bring tears to my eyes.

Dark and silent late last night
I think I might have heard the highway calling
Geese in flight and dogs that bite
Signs that might be omens say I going, going
I'm goin' to Carolina in my mind

But inevitably, when I think about my grandparents, I also think about my birth father, too, and those...those are always the bittersweet memories, because it's not that there aren't a few good memories here and there, it's just that there are so many bad ones. There's so much anger and bitterness, even now.

And yet...in spite of all that, there's a part of me that would like nothing better than some sort of reconciliation. I think that's the little girl in me, the idealist, the one who thinks that everything will be okay. The one who desperately wants a dad, chronological age be damned.

With a holy host of others standing 'round me
Still I'm on the dark side of the moon
And it seems like it goes on like this forever
You must forgive me
If I'm up and gone to Carolina in my mind

It's what my grandma would've wanted, if he's to be believed, but that's where the cynic in me kicks in--he isn't. He can't.

But that doesn't help me to want it any less, sometimes.

In my mind I'm goin' to Carolina
Can't you see the sunshine
Can't you just feel the moon shinin'
Ain't it just like a friend of mine
To hit me from behind
Yes I'm goin' to Carolina in my mind

I'm so disappointed that I didn't get any of the pictures I asked for, after my grandpa died. They took a picture of me with my uncle Gary, their youngest son, standing in front of the huge oak tree in their backyard. I'm maybe three or four years old, standing in front of him--his arms on my shoulders. We're both giving the camera big, cheesy grins, because we've just managed to feed one of the squirrels in the tree. The birdbath is in the background, and even in black and white, it's so easy to tell how green it is there, how lush.

But when I put my mind to it, when I sit back and forget about the distractions--the phone, the computer, the TV, the chaos and clutter and hectic pace that my life can take sometimes...I can almost smell it. I can feel the filtered sun on my face and the breeze that rustled my hair as I sit on one of the lounge chairs in the shade of that tree. The screen door opens and my grandma steps out, with that smile on her face that she only ever had for me, the first grandchild, the first girl. I can smell the tea in the pitcher she's carrying, I can hear grandpa still in the house, telling her to wait for him already, goddammit, he's only getting his beer.

And right then, though I miss them so much it hurts, I'm at peace.

And gone to Carolina in my mind.

Age.

My mom turned 50 earlier this week. I didn't really give it a lot of thought--I sent her a birthday card, of course, and I knew it was her birthday, and while I knew, somewhere in my mind, that it was her 50th, it didn't really hit me until last night. I'm not sure why it happened then, either, why it didn't happen earlier, or why it happened at all.

I've never been a good judge of age. It's never really been part of how I identify myself, but not only that...well. I've mentioned before, people were mistaking me for being in my late twenties/early thirties when I was 18 years old, so I'm sure that didn't really help any. For me, it's easier to just assume everyone is my age, but the funny part is, a lot of times, I have to remind myself that I'm 31 and not 21.

It was even stranger to think about my mom, though. It doesn't help that I think she acts younger than she really is, but in my mind's eye, she's just my mom. Ageless isn't the right word for it, but the vision I have of her is a younger picture than the one she presents now. It's...I'm sure most people think of their parents as ageless--or maybe not even ageless, but that they'll live forever, that they'll always be there, that it's always Mom, just Mom.

Add to that the fact that I remember when my grandparents turned fifty, or thereabouts, at least (no, my parents weren't young when they had me, why do you ask?), it's just strange.

It reminds me, sometimes, that time really does pass, even though it doesn't always seem to.

Portabella.

No, the entry's not about mushrooms, but today...well. Let me backtrack a little bit. In the Las Vegas airport, we met a wonderful couple named Troy and Margot Brown. They're husband and wife, were in town for the Big Smoke, and live in Boulder Creek. Troy is the author of the Portabella Mushroom cookbook, as well as owner/creater of Califa Foods, which makes some very delicious sauces, several of which he sent Matt and Mom home with (which Matt then ordered for us). They spent a good hour and a half or so talking with us, and during that conversation, I remember Troy telling us how the word for the mushroom has changed from portobello to...portabella. The way he said it just doesn't translate in text, but it just sticks with me, and it occurs to me that Italian is a beautiful language. Porrrtabellllla. "Big and beautiful," he said.

This morning, it was foggy when I left for work, which was a bit unexpected. It's not as dense as it could be, but then, the dark probably mutes that somewhat, so I can't tell the true extent of it. Sharp edges are now soft and fuzzy--life through refracted light, almost, and it occured to me that I would hate life if my vision ever started to deteriorate, because I imagine that the fuzzy halo surrounding the traffic lights is probably what it's like to have blurred vision. In spite of the weird vision thoughts, but most of all, in spite of the dark, it was beautiful.

It still is, as I sit here at my desk. Across the street, the lights atop the buildings are surrounded in that same halo. The outlines of the trees behind them, usually revealed in sharp relief by the glow, are distant shadows instead.

Beautiful.

My commute is short, I was in the car for ten minutes, at most. Creed's Higher came on while I was in the last fraction of that--I got through the first verse and first chorus before pulling into my parking space at work. But the opening guitar riff was what caught me. I couldn't explain the tears in my eyes, the huge smile on my face, all I knew--all I *know* is that today...today is good, and it's not just the bonus I got from work, today is just *good*.

I am blessed. I have a wonderful husband and amazing friends. I have a business that appears as though it will do very well, once I finally get my ducks in a row. I am content, I am happy...I am blessed.

Life...life is beautiful. Big and beautiful. Portabella.

Because I really want to know. Oh wait...no I don't.

Trouble with the elections in the Ukraine, small plane crashes which sports broadcasters miraculously walk away from, soldiers still being deployed to Iraq, six hunters killed in Wisconsin, deadly gas explosions and mine collapses in China, and yet...

Someone has still taken the time to calculate how much it'd cost to buy everything mentioned in the 12 Days of Christmas song.

And they put the link to it on the CNN front page.

I swear, the things that pass for news around here. It boggles the mind.

Five percent.

"5% MORE!" the diet dr. pepper bottle assured me. When I got close enough to read the small print, it said, "than a 20oz bottle."

Which meant that, hey, instead of 20 ounces of soda, there were a whole 21! Isn't that great?

Snerk. Stuff like that always amuses me, in a weird sort of way. The small deceptions that companies use to get people to buy whatever product or service they're offering.

---

Also on my mind this morning... why, why, why have people already started writing fanfic about Lost? It's been what, half a season, if that?

I've already found some really horrible examples, too, which is really very sad. Not quite to the extent that I've found really horrible Harry Potter fanfics (and lord have I--and so have other people...headache-inducing, eye-bleeding stuff), but there are some bad ones out there just the same.

And, much like the Harry Potter stuff, I'm going to have to just not read it--not only to spare myself from the crapulence, but also to make sure I don't get the fanfic universe confused with the 'canon' universe. Something like that, anyway.

But yeah. Makes me very sad. Leave the show alone for a season, would you? Or wait til the first season's over and we're all in withdrawls or something... :)

Cloudy.

Red sky in the morning, sailor take warning.
Red sky at night, sailor's delight.

My stepdad was the one who taught me that, he said that it was a pretty good way of telling whether a storm was on its way.

This morning, for a few minutes, when I looked out my office window, the sky didn't look black, or red, or pink, or grey, but...lavender. Probably just a trick of the light and the (I think) tinted glass, but still an interesting sight, nonetheless.

I'm happy to report that I did pretty well at the craft fair. Better than I expected, at least, and I made some pretty valuable contacts. They want me to come back in April.

There are other potential things on the horizon, as well, but I'm keeping quiet on that until something actually happens. Just...keep your fingers crossed for me, and think good employment-related thoughts.

Once again, the month is nearly 10 days old, and I have not written a single word for NaNoWriMo. Bad me.

But on Friday, we are leaving for Vegas for a few days, to meet my mom and her fiance, as well as my aunt Leslie and her partner Chris (and Leslie's kids, I believe). Woohoo. Viva, Las Vegas. Can't wait to go to a bar, get drunk with my mom, then stagger back to the hotel to play dominoes.

Rawr.

Death to all blog comment spammers. Thanks ever so much for leaving me with almost 200 comments to delete. Yay for MT Blacklist, because otherwise, I might have to hunt these people down one by one and beat them with wet noodles.

I don't get the point either, really. All the crap they post is on all the older entries, why bother? Not only that, but unless my blog is suddenly reaching a wider audience than I'm aware of (though, eep, a co-worker mentioned the other day that his girlfriend had found my blog, and believe me, wasn't *that* freaky), most of the people who read it are my friends, and we're all smarter than that anyway.

Bah. Hate. So much hate.

Up to my ears.

I am still very freaked out over this whole business thing. (And yeah, if that bores you, skip this one.)

Brett is right in that it's not as if I've invested my life savings into this, and stand to put myself in the poorhouse if it fails, but it's still a bit...well.

This has been a dream of mine for a while, you see, and now it's starting to become reality, and that scares the hell out of me--especially since I have had issues with following through on things for most of my life. No, what I'm doing is real, this time. I have the business license, fictitious business name statement, resale permit, business cards (got those yesterday), and bank account (got that today) to prove it.

Holy shit. What the hell am I doing?

Agh.

Amusing side note: my weekly Cainer horoscope for the week starting last Saturday said that I was overthinking something and that, really, everything was going exactly as it should and that I should calm down. Yeah, I realize that trusting one's entire life to a horoscope is probably not the best way to go about things, but still...I also believe that there are times in one's life where you get a swift kick in the ass just when you need it, and I think I got one.

Now to just believe what I'm reading... :)

Memory is a funny thing.

Someone on my Livejournal friends list posted something about this last night--how memory can be such a funny thing. Smell is one of the big ones, but sound can do it, too--and it happened to me this morning.

The first thing you have to understand is that my mom is the one responsible for a lot of the things about me, especially my love of music. She tells stories about me, four years old, standing up in the back seat and singing Hot Blooded. And let's not forget that John Denver classic, Tokey Oads.

What, she's my mom, of course she tells embarrassing stories!

But then, there was the time she was in town for my high school graduation, and driving me to my last day of school, Rod Stewart's Forever Young came on, and I remember the two of us in the car, crying. She was trying to tell me what the song meant, from her perspective, and just couldn't do it. It was the first time she said she was proud of me, in spite of everything, and the last time I heard it for a good seven years or more.

Or the first concert that I remember going to--Moody Blues at the Huntsman Center in Utah. How she arranged for one of my classmates to babysit my brother, and she and my stepdad went with me, and our seats were so good (even though they were toward the back of the floor section) that we could see the jewelry they were wearing.

She was the Cool Mom, too, the one who volunteered to take me and two of my friends to see Def Leppard. Their parents never knew that she went because she *wanted* to go--and the girls, well, they thought she was just the coolest ever for that. When she agreed to smuggle in film for our cameras along with her, well, that was just the icing on the cake. Most of my pictures didn't develop well. I wish I could remember what happened to them.

So anyway, there's always been a strong connection with music for me. And, perhaps amusingly, none of these things are the reasons why I thought about her, either--not exactly.

On the radio this morning, I heard Jack and Diane, and though I've heard the song a lot since, for some reason, *this* morning, it prompted another one of those memories I'd forgotten I even had. There's a part in the song that says, "Hold onto sixteen as long as you can," and I remember... I was probably 12 or 13 at the time, and very proudly told my mom that I was going to find some way to do that. I'd claim to turn 16 when I turned 14, and claim to *still* be 16 even when I was turning 18.

It wasn't the claiming to be 16 at 18 that bothered her, really, but the thought of me acting like a 16 year old when I was 14. I don't even remember what she said exactly, except that I shouldn't be in such a hurry to grow up.

For some reason, it strikes me funny, thinking back on that, and on the trip I took back to North Carolina the summer I turned 15. I got stuck in St. Louis for a long layover, and ended up with one of the airport's employees hitting on me. He made me take his address and phone number with me when I left--at 15, what was I going to do? I was too pole-axed by the whole thing. It wasn't until I was safely in the air that one of the girls who I was sitting with commented that he thought I was 18. Oops. :)

Holy crap.

Swarovski is having a trade show in Tucson the first week of February, that I'm seriously considering attending. That two week period is huge for bead-related activites anyway--five major shows, plus the Swarovski thing, so I figure it'd be interesting/fun to go down there for a week. A few extra days to go to some of the other shows, to see what's down there.

The Swarovski portion is four and a half days, held at the Omni Golf Resort and Spa, so I know it's going to be expensive, and I'm hoping that the trade show people will either be able to get a (really goddamn good) group rate or be able to make recommendations about where else to stay. Just for laughs, though, I checked the Omni website today to check for availability and cost.

Holy shit, almost $350 a night. So, for seven nights, that's...uh. Way more than I want to spend on a hotel to go to bead shows, thanks. I'll just look into other options--preferably before registration for these classes, because if I can't find anything cheaper than that, then there is no trip to Tucson for me.

Ow. $350 a night. Jesus. For that, I should get a toilet that'll wipe my ass for me, and a massage every night. :)

Nerves

As I've mentioned before, this whole craft fair in November thing is making me really nervous. It's hard to explain why, but I think I summed it up best when I told a couple of people yesterday (both at different times) that I'm the Queen of What If. As in...what if no one buys anything? What if everybody hates it? What if I'm the only booth where people don't stop? What if, what if, what if. And never the positive what if question, never 'what if everyone loves my stuff and I run out of stock while I'm there,' noo, never that.

Figures.

I feel like I'm becoming boring, though, like this is the only thing that I talk about lately. That's not entirely the case--I had a big, long post all drafted up the other day, but figured that no one really wanted to read me ranting about the disgustingness that is the ladies room here at work. I've mentioned that before, but this time, it was just horrible. I figured that I ought to spare you all the agony of it, though--it was really, really nasty.

Oh, I meant to add, I'm really seriously considering the NaNoWriMo thing again this year--even though the past two years have been pretty much miserable failures. Last year, I didn't even get an idea til the month was almost over. Agh. I've had one for awhile now, though, so...we'll see. If I get that far, and if anyone's interested, I suppose I can make it available for viewing, with the caveat that 50,000 words in a month does not make for concise plot lines, tight dialogue, or generally anything that resembles *good* writing. Plus, it'll be fanfic, sort of (but not HP or LotR), so...I don't know. If there's interest, let me know, I'll think about it.

See? There really is more to life than nerves and beads. Heh. :)

Okay, so...

Note to self: not such a good idea to take the bead bag to work anymore, really. Bad idea. Really, really bad. Right now, in the bag, I have all the loose Swarovski beads that I own, and...urrh. I counted up how much money's in that bag, and holy crap. No more taking the bag to work. No, no, no. I do not want to lose $700 in beads. Bad. Bad!

In other news, I have two more lovely bracelets, two (soon to be four) new necklaces, and eight pairs of earrings. I am the beading machine. Ack. :)

Vacation plans.

Sort of, anyway.

One of the things that my mom told me the first time I got married was that one of the things that she always regretted was spending every bit of vacation time she had going to see family, especially once she and my stepdad moved us all out to Utah. We went camping (and Utah's a gorgeous place for that!), but we never travelled anywhere that wasn't with a specific family destination in mind. North Carolina for his parents and her mom, Canada for her side of the family. Every once in awhile, we got to see something new--my stepdad's parents wanted to go to Las Vegas once, and we went up to Yellowstone, but when my schoolmates were taking trips to New York, to Hawaii, to Europe, it sort of seemed small potatoes by comparison.

I'm 31 years old, and I have been to Canada only a couple of times--mostly to British Columbia, though I went to Toronto once. I've never been off this continent--so, no, I haven't been to Hawaii. Yet. Eventually, once we finally get our honeymoon, I think that's where we're going. I've never been to Mexico. I don't have a passport.

So...yeah. I really took what my mom said to heart, and Brett and I started seriously talking about that a week or two ago. I love my family, I love his family (and believe me when I tell you, it's such a relief to have such a good relationship with my in-laws--I just hope he feels the same way about my family, though I think he does), and while we'll still go to Seattle and Boston, which are both very worthwhile places to go, we want to broaden our horizons a little bit, too. I've already started making a list in my head, and am actually going to write it down one of these days.

The great thing about it is that it can still involve family--and friends, of course. Imagine--we tell my folks and his that we're going to, say, New Orleans for a week, and we'd love to have them meet us there. Or if we say to our friends, hey, we're going to Orlando for a week (and going to take a trip to Boca to see Vicki!), who's interested? Not only do we get time with loved ones, but we also get to go to new places, to see something new, and the great part is that it doesn't have to be everyone doing the same things at the same time, either. If there's something everyone's interested in, sure, but that's the point of rental cars and public transit--to be able to do one's own thing.

I'm really excited about this, whether or not people ever end up going with us. I have to admit, too, I'm not really sure whether I've expressed my thoughts on it very well, either. Even though I'm not talking about any sort of immediate plan, it's still exciting enough for me that I'm probably not very coherent.

Or it could just be the 5am shift talking. Or the hour and a half I spent on the phone between starting this entry and finally being able to finish it.

Shut up. :)

So, anyway. Leaving aside this Grand Plan above, I do have a question for anyone who's reading. Where's the one place in the world that you most want to visit?

(And yeah, if you're interested in the group vacation thing, stay tuned. I'll end up more coherent about that at some point. No, really.)

Dead Like Me

About half hour into the pilot for Dead Like Me, and oh my god, this show is twisted! I like it, but it's twisted!

"I want my life back!"
"But you weren't doing anything with it."

Heh!

Not a bad day.

Surprisingly, yesterday was not really a bad day, all things considered. Forcing myself to get up earlier than I really wanted on Sunday so that I'd be ready to sleep earlier in the evening was a good idea. Even though I didn't sleep terribly well, I still got up on time and got myself into work...and was just fine until about 9:30, when I was ready to go back to bed again. It'll take a few weeks, but I'm sure that I'll adjust to the new schedule.

Yesterday was the first day of the quarter for me, as well--I'm taking a public speaking class, mostly because I can, really. :) It fulfills a general education requirement, and anything that helps me get over the nerves I deal with when speaking to new people or in front of groups is a good thing. Then again, given the way the course runs, it may be that I'm a well-prepared nervous wreck, but still. We have to give six speeches over the course of the quarter, and I'm considering at least one hot-button topic, just to see whether I can cover the subject matter in a coherent matter. We'll see. The icky thing is that the instructor is going to tape us as we speak a couple of times during the quarter. Ew.

Oh, and the instructor guy (Alex, not Mr. Kramer, definitely not Professor Kramer!) sounds like Kermit the Frog, I swear. He split us up into groups of five as a 'getting to know you' kind of thing, and when I voiced this opinion to the group, two of the four of them agreed with me, and the other two gave me this blank 'I have no idea what you're talking about' look. Heh. I'm one of the oldest in the class, and was the oldest in 'my' group by about six years, but at least no one asked me what the Muppets were. I might've had to walk out then and there.

When Brett came home, he brought the mail up with him, and in addition to my payment booklet for my University of Phoenix student loans (heh, yeah, I have to make ten payments or something silly like that), there was a letter from one of the soldiers that we sent a package off to. He's from El Monte, California, and is in his early twenties, was extremely happy with the package that we sent, and kept on saying 'thank you' in his letter. It's the least we can do, we figure, but it was really cool to get a letter back--I have to think that he's writing back to everyone who sends him something, too. Knowing the volume of people who reply to the Books For Soldiers posts, that'd be quite the task. Regardless, it was great to get the letter, and that feeling of knowing you've made someone else happy is a damn good thing.

And now...I am back off to work. The sun should start to come up soon, I'll be able to watch as the sky starts to get lighter. That's the best part of the day for me, weird as that might sound--who knew I'd enjoy the sunrises so much. Guess I'm not the ultimate night person after all, not anymore.

Bah!

You know, my job may drive me absolutely bug fuck insane, but at least I know that I'm helping people out at the end of the day. It may take awhile sometimes, but at least I know that my customers listen to what I have to say (eventually, in some cases) when all is said and done.

The docs guys, though...I feel for them. And for me, in some respects--my job would be a lot easier if people read the documentation, but they don't, and that's why I figure it'd suck to be in tech pubs. What's the point of writing a good, understandable document about a very complex product if you know going in that no one's going to read it and they're all going to call support anyway?

And what brought this on, you might ask? Someone asked me today how to enable SSL on their server. Which, well, if you look in the index at the back of the book, and look under S for SSL, hey, look, there it is! How hard was that?

Gah. :)

Well, I didn't think it would happen...

...but I've officially been sucked into City of Heroes, and it didn't even take very long. I mentioned to Brett at dinner on Friday that I'd been considering it, and that night, we went out to a Game Spot that's connected to a Barnes and Noble (because we knew it'd be open late), and poof, I was the owner of a shiny new copy.

I very quickly found that my poor computer is extremely low on RAM--it meets the minimum requirement, but good GOD, it can be so slow. I find it amusing, too--is this the reason I've never been able to run Neverwinter Nights since my old computer crashed and I got the Dell? My magic blaster (fire/energy) got up a few levels on Friday night, thanks to Brett, and it really is rather entertaining. Better than Everquest, in my opinion. Slicker, more user friendly, and the whole costume customization thing is amazing. I don't know the number of combinations, but it's entirely possible that you'll never run across anyone who looks exactly the same way you do, which is not the case in EQ. The skillset is fun--yay for ranged and area of effect attacks, plus a nasty punch if someone gets too close. Fun. :)

After a night of dealing with the slow computer, I figured that it'd be nice to get a memory upgrade, so I dutifully went to the Dell website to figure out what kind of memory I could use in my PC. Well, long story short, as it turns out, we can't use a 1 GB DIMM, which is what we both bought. Doh. So today, there'll be a return trip to Fry's to exchange the 1 GB for two 512 MB (for me, only one for Brett).

Naturally, though, I wasn't happy with just finding memory, I also ended up buying a new desk, which meant that I had to clean up the quarter of the room where my desk is at, and my god, I have a lot of shit. I mean, seriously. Just a lot of shit. Right now, there are several neat (and several not so neat) stacks around the room that I'll need to clean up. Maybe this would be a good time to get rid of some of this crap. The only bad thing about the new desk is that I don't have cubbies anymore--it's a glass corner desk very similar to what Brett has, but a little smaller--which turns out to be a good thing. The bigger one might not have fit so well in here.

So yeah. Sucked in by City of Heroes. I'm going to have to start allocating time to both MUSH and to game, not to mention school....oh yeah. Did I mention that I was starting classes at DeAnza again, this time on September 20th? It means I'll be on the 5am to 2pm shift, but hey, it improves my options, as far as class availability goes, and that's a good thing. Public speaking will be my first class--hopefully, next quarter, I'll be able to take the history class that I've really been wanting.

And that's about it. What's new with all of you?

Rescue Me.

So, on the recommendation of several of my friends, we've been watching this new Denis Leary show on FX, Rescue Me--everyone I know has been pretty well raving about it. I've really enjoyed it, too, but have always had this vaguely weird feeling about the whole thing. Today, I finally put my finger on it--Brett had it right when it seems like the whole thing is very much...well. Here, let's introduce these characters, get you to like them, then we are going to fuck with them in ways that you can't even imagine.

I really like the show, it's very well done, and I'll probably continue to watch it, but...wow. It's getting harder to do so every week, the uncomfortable factor rises with every episode. It's alway been really hard for me to watch stuff like Mr. Bean and the like--embarrassment humor, that kind of thing. Ow. Makes my stomach hurt to watch it sometimes, and I'm getting the same feeling from Rescue Me lately. Ow.

All I can do is just hope that it gets better. Eee. :)

Ouch.

Wow, I've...really neglected the blog lately. I've neglected pretty much everything that deals with meaningful writing, come to think of it, which is really not something that I wanted to do, but it's turned out that way anyway. Part of it, I think, is the fact that a lot of my time in front of a computer is at work, and while I know it's possible to multi-task and all that, I still feel a little bit guilty about it, regardless. And when I get home, it's just the last thing on my mind.

So...yeah. A little bit there about why I haven't really written lately, I guess.

A few random thoughts for today:

- I do have stuff I want to write, it's just a matter of getting to it. Old ideas are starting to resurface again, and I'm not sure whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. I've thought about doing Nano again, but I don't think that's a good idea, either.

- Why is it that checkbooks only have a couple of deposit slips in them? Why can't we just get a whole book full of deposit slips? Or is that just me? I'd think that they'd be used to people making deposits at ATMs now and help us all out.

- Drive safely, Chris and Melissa, who are starting off to Texas today, if I remember right.

- Today I send off my second package to someone in the service who made a request on the Books For Soldiers site. I have yet to actually send a *book*. I've sent several cards, and yesterday sent magazines and candy to Afghanistan. Today's DVDs for someone in Iraq. But seriously, if you have extra books or DVDs lying around the house, or if you don't mind sending a quick postcard to someone overseas, check it out. I know they really appreciate the support they get from back home.

- As a follow-up to that last comment, some people at the post office are complete tards. Yesterday, there was a line some 30-40 people long, with two windows open, and a cluster of six people who usually man counters standing around some new automated machine thing. Bah, I say! And hello, I'd think that people who work at the post office would be used to APO/FPO mail, but I guess not. I got a ton of crap from the guy behind the counter because my package didn't have a rank on it anywhere...except that, sending stuff to Afghanistan, it's not supposed to. Oy!

- We're going down to Pismo Beach for a couple of days this weekend for our anniversary. It's really hard to believe that it's already been a year.

- Boo that Team Canada scratched both the Sharks that are playing for them in last night's game against the US, but maybe that's because the US head coach is *their* head coach. But yay for Marco Sturm, who is Team Germany's captain. That rules.

- Oh, and we're going to Vegas for a few days in November, and I * think* we're making plans to go to Dragon*Con next year.

- Good thoughts to my friends in Florida, here's hoping that Frances goes elsewhere.

- Genealogy is turning out to be a new and interesting thing to spend time at. This is the one time I might wish that the names in my family weren't so common, though. I mean, *you* try looking for a Patrick Maher in Ireland, or a James Williams...well...anywhere!

And...that's it for now. I promise to try to write more from now on. Really!

Bah!

You know...I seriously wouldn't mind donating to firefighter funds and things like that, but jesus christ, the guy who just called me was a right pushy bastard. Yeah, believe me, I know that it's a worthy cause, and yeah, I'm sure that they would appreciate knowing that there are people out there who support them wholeheartedly in what they do. I'm sure that the troops serving the US overseas and at home would like the same thing.

So, yeah. I don't object to the idea that someone's calling me to ask for a donation for the firefighters.

I DO object to the fact that the telemarketer spiel is specifically designed to YANK the guilt/heartstrings into soliciting donations.

I also DO object to the fact that the guy was such a pushy asshole and kept interrupting me when I was trying to talk. YES, I get that it's a worthy cause. YES, I get that they appreciate it, blah blah blah. SHUT UP and LET ME TALK. Asshole.

It's tempting to call these people back and tell them that I *had* intended to donate, until their telemarketer turned out to be a prick and the sales spiel was emotionally manipulative.

Gah.

Snerk.

Bwah.

The first named storm of the hurricane season is named after my sperm donor parent. Sadly amusing, considering that it's also threatning the Carolinas.

Yes, I am amused at strange things. I've never claimed otherwise. :)

And yeah, this post is pretty much pointless.

Cleaning=panic.

Early next month (probably), we're planning a gathering at our place, the first time we've really had anything organized since New Years, I think. Today, I started making a list of the things around the house that I'd really like to get done before this happens.

I'm doomed.

Actually, that's not true. For some of this stuff, it doesn't really matter *when* it gets done, and rationally, I realize that the goal of having it ALL done before the August gathering is just not going to happen in this lifetime. For some reason, though, now that I've made the list, it feels like it all has to be done NOW NOW NOW.

I think, realistically, the cleaning-related stuff for the public areas will be done before August, but some of the rest of it really won't. My friends are not going to care whether my closets are well organized, for example, nor are they really going to give a shit about whether our CD changer is finally finished being loaded, or where the bed is in our bedroom.

I wonder if part of the reason that I just haven't been interested in writing lately is due to all the chaos in my living space. I keep telling myself that maintenance would be ever so much easier than having to do a major cleaning every six months, and I always make such plans about how this weekend, I'll start making an effort at that, rather than just letting things go. I'm getting better about it, but still... Anyway. Cluttered living space = cluttered mind, perhaps. I do know that there's stuff inside me, but it seems pretty directionless right now.

It's really bad when the list of things is so long that you get all glassy-eyed when looking at it, and just feel completely overwhelmed and don't know where to start.

However, I've already got one thing on that list finished, and managed to do it in less than an hour after I got home from work, so...I know it's possible! I just have to keep focused on the smaller goals on the list, rather than on the whole thing.

Someday, maybe, I'll master that technique.

Road Trip, Part One

I know I said I'd try to post while I was gone, but it turned out to be more difficult than I thought while I was on the way there, and while I was there...I just didn't have the time. So, anyway, I bring you the first segment in notes from the road--I'll have another one or two of these to make, as well as notes on vacation proper.

Highlights: Victoria BC, Pike Place Market, and the symphony conducted by Howard Shore.

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7/10/04

8:30pm
Gold Beach, Oregon

So, I'm having to make this entry on a later date because I'm staying at a Motel 6 in Oregon that has no high speed access. The only way I could've gotten access at all would've been to go up to Coos Bay, which is another 100+ miles, and after leaving the house at 8:30am (got up at 6!) and driving around 460 miles...yeah. It was time to stop.

An early start this morning, especially after the (fucking awesome) concert last night, but it was nice to leave early. Part of why I got up early was because I wanted to avoid traffic on 880, and it turned out to work.

Before I get too carried away, I should mention, for those who've been following the Sirius radio drama, IT WORKS! Brett exchanged the antenna for me last night, and apparently they didn't even really check it very well. It's my fault the thing was broken in the first place, and...anyway. I got the antenna mounted and the car kit taken care of this morning, and it's alive. Woot.

Also. Sirius fucking RULES. 80s channel, hair band channel, classic rock, weather, comedy, traffic, sports...you name it, I can get it. It turns into a 'name that 80s/classic rock/hair band tune' kind of game, since I don't want to look at the display too much while I'm driving. Yeah. Love it. Seriously love it. I should've gotten it ages ago.

Random notes:

- Prince is DIIRRTY. Yeah, okay, I know that's a big 'duh' moment, but I actually listened to the lyrics of The Look today, and wow. 'Your body's slammin, let's get to jammin.' Yeeeah.

- 880 / 580 / 101 is THE way to go. I passed by the exit leading to the Novato Faire about an hour and 15 minutes after I left. Not bad at all.

- Gas in Novato is expensive. 2.35 a gallon, compared to 2.16 a gallon at home.

- There was an Amber Alert while I was on my way up that was displayed on one of those flashy signs on the side of the road. Handy things, those--it gave the color, make, model, and license plate of the car.

- Oh, hey. For my co-workers, one of the trucks that I passed by today was for Consani Racing. I think Jole may get a kick out of that. :)

- There are a whole lot of old people in Healdsburg, I found. I stopped at McDonalds there to pee at one point and the place was full of senior citizens.

- It's too bad that I don't like wine, there are vineyards all over the place down there. I almost wish I'd had time to stop.

- The traffic got really light after Healdsberg, not quite like driving through Nevada on 80 west, but still pretty light. After Willets (further north of Ukiah, mentioned below), it got light like it is in Nevada. It's also really weird to be driving on 101 when it's a 2 lane road, as opposed to the 8-10 lane freeway it is in the bay area.

- I stopped briefly in Ukiah to get a soda, and saw the following on a bumper sticker:

"Save a mouse, eat a pussy!"

I sat there for about five minutes just cackling so hard I couldn't drive.

[Ugh. The room upstairs just became occupied, and it's like being at home, there are elephants upstairs.]

- Sherrie Austin (a country singer) is an evil, evil woman. Go look up the lyrics to the song called Streets of Heaven, and you'll see what I mean. It made me think of Moonie and Sophie. Sniffle.

- Stopped for gas in Fortuna; I was only at 3/4 of a tank, but I figured that I probably better stop. I got 370 miles on that tank--and put only 13 gallons in. That's freaking awesome.

- Hit Oregon about 6:00. Brookings is the first town that you pass through, and immediately after that, there's a rest stop. I'm thinking that all the rest areas in Oregon are going to be a whole lot nicer than the ones in California.

Eventually, I'll make a post here about the Avenue of Giants, which I passed through on my way north. It's...amazing, though, and there's no way that I can even put it into words. The pictures I have don't do it justice, but I hope they'll be able to convey at least some of the beauty, and maybe some of the awe that I felt just being there.

More vacation thoughts.

Hmmm.

Do I want to deal with customs, even though I don't have a passport? Even though the website says that ID and birth certificate should be fine? Because taking the Victoria Express from Port Angeles (though, holy crap, a 3 hour drive from Mom's place, maybe not) or the Victoria Clipper from Seattle to Victoria BC to see things like Butchart Gardens (where I really want to take Clay, because I bet the pictures he'd take would be stunning!) and the Royal British Columbia Museum...that sounds like it might be a whole lot of fun, too.

I'm arriving on Monday night, and trying to figure out what to do for Tuesday and Wednesday because we're doing the whale watch thing on Thursday...

Hmmmm. :)

The trolley of hate compels you.

I mentioned this before, somewhere, but I can't remember where--I asked Brett to take me to Monterey on Saturday the 3rd, so that we could spend some time together, and I could see the latest in Windstone designs. We have far too many already, but that didn't stop us.

Friday night, Matt came down, and there was much fun to be had at dinner. He stayed overnight and went to Monterey with us the following day. He'd never been to the aquarium, which we also wanted to see, because they've got a new exhibit out there--all sharks, all the time.

Mistake #1: "Oh wow, these convenience fees are killer. Let's just wait and buy tickets when we get there." Never, never again will I say that, for reasons which will become apparent.

Mistake #2: Going to Monterey *at all* over the 4th of July weekend. When we
finally got there, there was no parking to be found near Cannery Row or the aquarium, so we had to park downtown, deal with the Great Race foo, and take the trolley to where we wanted to go.

Ah yes, the trolley.

Imagine, if you will, one of those cute little trolley-bus things, that's probably ideal for seating maybe 20-30 people. Imagine, next, said trolley with every seat full, and another 15 people (including us, me first, after dealing with the family who thought that, even though they'd got there last, they were entitled to get on first) climbing on.

It's already a cool day out, perhaps maybe 65 degrees. Yet the AC on said cute little trolley is on full blast, and it's like standing in the middle of an arctic wind.

Let's not forget the little anklebiters everywhere, with no care as to where their hands go, and no care who or what they kick, elbow, or otherwise run into.

And the trolley driver who kept stopping at every stop, in spite of the fact that there are now probably 50 people on his trolley, and we are packed in like sardines.

Oh, and the idiots who SEE the trolley is full, but still try to force their way on in the first place... without waiting for the people who actually wanted to get OFF the damn thing.

Oh yes. So much hate.

We finally got off at Cannery Row and walked from there to the aquarium. We got to the place almost before the trolley did, and all agreed that the trolley was NOT the way to get back to the parking garage.

There was still more rage at the aquarium, and this is where the 'let's just buy tickets there' part comes in. Had we purchased tickets online, we could've picked them up at will call.

Hey, will call, says Matt, why not see if we can call in an order? No dice, though--only advance purchases are allowed via phone, which basically prevents people from doing what we wanted to do. We got there, saw the line and were horrified, and tried to call. Seems kind of silly to me, but whatever.

Yet again, there were children with all kinds of personal space issues, which turned out to be quite annoying. Especially when the matriarch of the family behind us got all pissy. Sadly, she never got overtly pissy, otherwise I would've told her to keep a better hold on her rugrats. Ugh. Kids. So cute when they're young, well-behaved, and belong to someone else. :)

Anyhow. The aquarium was cool. I got some great pictures of some of the jellies, and some not-so-great pictures of the sharks and the sea otters. It's harder to get those, because they're always moving. Arg. I managed okay, though, I think. I'll post those at some point.

After the aquarium was Bubba Gump's--we put our names in and were told to anticipate a 70-75 minute wait. The guy at the counter said, "That's nothing, if you were here next weekend, it'd be 3-4 hours." Buh. So, we shopped a bit while waiting for food, had an excellent dinner where, once again, we ate too much, then we grabbed a cab and went home.

Not a bad day, all things considered, the trolley of hate aside.

Next time, if we ever go on a holiday weekend again (unlikely!), we'll remember to buy tickets beforehand...and to get there early if we want to park at Cannery Row.

Eeeeee!

WOO! I am now even more official than I was--I got my business license in the mail today! (Insert Snoopy dance of joy here.)

AND I've made my first sale, my mom is going to buy the necklace/bracelet/earring set I made with the dark green swarovski cubes and little flowery spacers. I'll take pictures, it's very nice.

AND next week, I'm going to talk to the ladies at Java, because they want to put in an order for their kids/grandkids after I showed them one of the other bracelets I've made.

AND I made reservations for that whale watch today, my mom and I are going on Thursday the 15th. I'll have lots of pictures of that, too.

AND I heard back from Paula which, if you read my other blog, I was concerned about. Yeah, silly me, I know.

AND...

Wow.

Life is so good. So incredibly good.

Thank you all so much for the birthday wishes.

Also, I have the best friends ever, you are all awesome, and I am so blessed and thankful for each and every one of you. You're the best.

Now, if only I could find that fresh roll of tape I bought last night. I swear to god, I had it, but it's gone. I don't know where it is. It's just...gone.

[Edit: I found the tape. It was in the garbage. Go figure.]

Whale watching.

I think I found something else that I want to do on my trip to Seattle, though this is something that will be done while I'm there, rather than on the drive up.

There are pods of orcas in the Straits of San Juan de Fuca in the summers up there. There are *day long trips* to go out and whale watch.

I think I may have to do this, too.

Must remember to bring Dramamine.

Classmates.com amuses me.

Sometimes, Classmates.com comes up with a real gem. Sometimes. Now, there is no way in hell that I want to be found by most of the people that I went to high school with--though, if they really want to get ahold of me, they can send me email through the site. Note that no one has yet, so I guess that's saying something. Ha!

Anyway, mostly, I've been using Classmates to find people that I used to be very close to, but have fallen out of touch with for various reasons. Two of those were childhood best friends, Shawnie and Scott, and one of those was just yesterday--my stepdad's girlfriend after he and my mom divorced.

Most of you have probably heard me talk about Paula at one point or another. If you've ever heard me say, "Tits on a Ritz!"...that's Paula.

I was actually looking for her daughter, but found her instead, and was just thrilled. Sent her an email through Classmates, and got a floored and excited reply back late last night/early this morning. I was so excited about *that* that I had to call my mother at work.

Paula was--is, I'm sure--quite, quite awesome. We all loved her to death, she was one of the best things that happened to us as kids. It's so cool to have found her again, and to find that she's as happy to hear from us as we were to find her.

They didn't even ask for ID.

Tuesday, I got a call from a woman at the San Jose Post Record, who needs a copy of my fictitious business name statement. In order to make sure that process is complete, the fictitious business name has to be published, along with a short description of what the business does, and a phone number (yay for cellphones) for a period of a month. They'll send a record of that back to the county clerk's office, blah blah blah. (A fictitious business name statement, also known as doing business as (DBA) is required if you're starting up a business with a name that doesn't include your surname.)

It occured to me today, as I was making a copy to fax over to her, none of these people asked me for any sort of identification. Not the city of Sunnyvale when they gave me a business license--they didn't even verify my address, though if they work for the city, they're probably pretty familiar with it's boundaries, but still. The county clerk recorder's office didn't ask for it, either, just blithely accepted that the info I was providing was correct.

I guess, strictly speaking, it's not necessary information, but why is it that we need to provide photo ID to get on a plane, to buy things with a credit card, to apply for a job, but we don't need it to get a business license. How interesting.

The Long Road.

In a couple of weeks, I'm driving up to Seattle to spend some time with my mom, and to go see the Howard Shore LOTR symphony up there. Brett will be joining us the Thursday after I get there, and he and I will drive home that Sunday.

I decided quite awhile ago that I wanted to take the scenic route up the coast--so take Highway 1/101 all the way up. I've never done that before, the days are long right now, and it seems like it'd be a very leisurely drive, so why not?

Up until a few days ago, I didn't have anything on my list that I really wanted to see, except for a vague idea of 'going to see the redwoods in Humboldt County.' In doing some quick research on it today, I came across the following:

Follow the Avenue of the Giants
The 33-mile Avenue challenges the senses, not your driving. The route is flat with mostly gentle curves that hug the banks of the Eel River as it winds through massive redwood trees. The Avenue is a breathtaking scenic alternative as you enter or leave Humboldt County, or makes an easy morning or afternoon drive. From the South, enter the Avenue at Phillipsville (just north of Garberville); from the North your access is at Pepperwood (the Avenue is well marked from Highway 101). Along the route, take plenty of stops to stretch your legs and explore the towering forest. There's a state park Visitors Center near Weott that's worth a look, and don't miss Founders Grove and the nearby Dyerville Giant.

Sweeeeeet.

I mean, imagine what it would be like, seeing this stuff up close? Being able to get out of the car and wander among those trees?

Yep, sign me up.

So excited!

*snicker*

Uh-*huh*.

Spam mail at work: "She'll say it's too biiiiiiig!"

Okay, so, if you're advertising Viagra, and if the point of the whole thing is supposed to be the ability to have sex in the first place, isn't that kind of counter-intuitive? Because if she 'says it's too biiiiiiig,' then you're probably not getting any as a result, which totally defeats the purpose.

Right?

Oh, you mean I'm taking it too literally? Sorry. :)

GMail invites

I don't often read Wil Wheaton's blog anymore--call it a difference in opinion on a few fundamental things. However, every once in awhile, he sponsors some stuff I can really get behind...like, say, raising money for Moonie's daughter.

And this:

Support our troops -- send them your GMail invites!

Definitely worth a read. If you've got GMail and you've got invites to spare, please consider doing this. I will be, once I actually get to the point where I'm getting invitations.

I'm official!

Today, I got both my business license and my fictitious name permit. I still have to get my seller's permit, but I didn't want to deal with yet another government office today--and, I think I can get that part online.

Now, I just need to deal with finding a corporate bank account, then get my website and stuff set up.

Whee. Away we go. :)

What was it like?

Last night, Brett and I caught most of a program that was Nancy Reagan, Patty Davis, and Ron Reagan Jr. talking about their perceptions of Ronald Reagan. The Man They Knew, or something like that. It was really interesting, but it was also profoundly sad and poignant, especially watching Nancy fight tears as she answered some of the interviewer's questions.

Today, I am glad I'm not home, because not being home means that I can't (couldn't) watch any of the proceedings. Amy and I talked about it briefly, particularly about the relationship that Ronald and Nancy obviously shared, how it's still written in every line of her body, even after his death. How it jumps out at you in old photographs of the pair of them, that kind of thing.

We also talked briefly about how Alzheimer's is an absolutely horrible way to go--which it is. I've written about it before, sort of--I worked in nursing homes for several years, and spent a majority of that time in lockdown units.

What was it like in the lockdown? Well...

There was a keypad on both sides of the two doors that lead in and out. The combination changed every month. We had to walk in and out quickly, and make sure the door closed behind us, lest someone try to sneak out. Anyone with a pet who streaks for the open door to try and get outside every time a guest comes in will have a sense of what that was like.

What was it like?

There were daily 'orientation sessions,' not to introduce newcomers, but to try and keep our residents oriented to certain things. What day of the week it was. What year it was. Who the president was. ... What their names were. Their names, the names of their spouses, the names of their children and grandchildren. It was easier for some than others. For some, we couldn't make their attendance mandatory, because they couldn't remember how to speak anymore.

What was it like?

The ones who could still speak, the ones who were easily oriented, it was simply a matter of trying to take care of them the best we were able. There were occasional squabbles when someone wanted to go out and we couldn't allow them to do so, but on the whole, they were simply very pleasant, if absentminded.

The ones who'd lost their power of speech, those were the ones to watch out for. It was clear they'd be trying to communicate--they'd follow you around, or meet your eyes with that sense of urgency that let you know they had something on their minds that they were desperate to get out. They'd mumble softly, or make hand gestures, they'd try everything they could think of, and if that didn't work (and it so rarely did), they'd start to hit or kick, whatever they felt they had to do to get the point across.

The best example I can give of what it was like for me, though...

I've spoken about this before, though I don't remember to whom.

Eastridge was a three floor home. The first floor was all maintenance-type stuff. Dining room and kitchen, laundry, staff room, etc. The second floor had two wings, a long term wing, and a critical care wing. The long term wing is pretty self-explanatory. The critical care wing was for patients who'd just come in from the hospital, or needed a lot of very intensive, very specialized care. The third floor was also separated into two wings: long-term, non-lockdown psychiatric, and the lockdown.

I started out working the long term wing on the second floor, and floated over to the critical side as needed. That was where I first learned how to deal with colostomy bags, and how rabidly infectious staph is.

I ended up on the third floor because they were short staffed, and never ended up going back. On the third floor, we had several schizophrenic patients, a few obsessive-compulsives...not flight risks, but they had to be kept under close observation and weren't quite sufficient enough to live on their own.

I shifted to the lockdown at my own request. I got tired of having bedpans thrown at me, being sworn at, and all kinds of other weird and unpleasant crap. There were maybe forty patients in the lockdown, and the first day that I was there, sitting at the nurse's station and looking over charts, one of the patients stood patiently there by the desk, with the world's biggest smile on his face. None of us could quite figure out what was going on, but since he was one of the more combative patients, and he didn't seem to be so inclined toward me, they let me handle the care of him when it was my shift.

Proving that there's still something of them in there, somewhere...not a day went by that he wasn't standing inside the door waiting for me when it was time for my shift to start. Every time he saw me, his face lit up, and he cupped my face in his hands gently for a minute, always mumbling. Always, always mumbling, looking at me in that expectant way someone does when they've just asked a question, or expect you to be listening.

His wife was the one who finally solved the mystery for us.

As some men are, he was especially close to his mother. Once she saw me and heard about what was going on, she brought in a picture of the two of them. The resemblance between his mother and me was pretty startling. If I'd been thinking, I would have tried to trace the geneaology, butI never considered it at the time.

He was my patient after that, moreso than before.

When I finally left Eastridge for a different facility, with better pay and better care, he was the hardest one to leave behind.

Four unrelated comments.

1. People are nice.

I went to the post office this morning to send off Amy's DVD and return something from Crafter's Choice that I didn't ask for (I mean, really. Since when am I a quilter?), and got to chatting with the woman who was in line in front of me. They had three windows open that were taking forever, and the line grew really large behind us, so the inevitable 'we got here just in time' comments started up. When she found out that I was on my lunch hour, she made me go in front of her--would not accept anything but agreement. I kept shaking my head, and she ended up walking around and slipping in behind me, in spite of my objections.

2. Gas is freaking expensive.

Three quarters of a tank, $30. Ow. Still not as expensive as bottled water, I suppose, but still. Ow.

The car wash was fun, though, and now my car is all sexy again. I love that dark blue color.

3. Country singers amuse me.

What is it with the latest trend in country music, where a lot of the men sing with their eyes all squinched up, sounding like they're constipated and trying to squeeze out a log while they're singing?

Or is that just me?

4. I am blind.

No matter who parks in the parking space closest to the building to the right of the entrance, the glare from the sun blinds me right around this time every day. I've taken to parking there, because it's worse from minivans and SUVs, and I had *thought* it helped, but clearly (or, perhaps, through sun-spotted vision), it hasn't.

5. A bonus comment.

We are doing the happy dance here at work, as one of our most...ahem, vocal clients has moved on to another job, leaving other people to deal with the Vital project.

Descending into madness.

So, over the Memorial Day weekend, I bought and started playing Everquest. Yeah, I know what you're thinking, I really really do.

However, unsurprisingly, I'm having the same problems with it now that I did during my brief, one-week stint a few years ago--it's awfully boring. Run this way, kill this thing, kill that thing, nearly get killed by this other thing, run, run, runrunrun, I look good when I run, whee, thud.

Amusingly, I haven't had anyone hit on me because I'm playing a female character yet, but give it time.

And yeah, as frustrating and irritating as it is, I'll probably keep playing for awhile...see, my enchanter was given this quest to make a full set of armor, and arg. It's pissing me off. I'm kicking myself for ever selling spiderling silks when I first started. I'm annoyed at the game gods because there's this monster that rarely ever spawns that I need something from. Strike that, I need *three* somethings from. So, basically, I need three of these monsters...except that not only are the monsters themselves rare, but the item they drop is *also* rare, so...grah.

Now I'm just in stubborn mode, you know? I want to finish that fucking set of armor comma dammit. I don't want to start over again because I've already got four or five of the seven or eight pieces that I need, and the thought of starting all over again with the enchanter at level 1 just does not fill me with glee. But arg!

So...yeah. Definitely a descent into madness.

I have to admit, though, there are some pretty cool people around there. One guy I ran into just blithely passed off 300 platinum pieces to me, and apologizes because he didn't have more. It's also not uncommon to have higher level characters just randomly cast buffs on you if they happen to pass you by. Not bad.

Anyway, if any of you play EQ, and you happen to be on the Mithaniel Marr server, and you ever see Imrielsa online...say hello. I'll probably still be stuck in Greater Faydark hell.

Or, if you have a compelling pitch to get me to start over on another server, well, maybe I'll listen. Maybe. :)

Inexplicably...

...I am filled with a sudden burning desire to go to a horse show.

My stepmom raised Morgans, so every summer, that was a huge part of my life. Mucking stalls, feeding--I got to see one of the mares give birth, even, and spent quite a bit of time playing with the filly afterwards. I got to ride, clean tack, learn how to hitch up the cart...

Wow. I miss that.

I've mentioned this before, but there are people who think I'm nuts when I say that I miss the smell of horse. Not horse *shit*, but *horse*. It's very distinctive, and one of the reasons I love it when the mounted cops show up at the hockey games is because I get to drift by them and just breathe in that smell.

So, I want to find a horse show somewhere, but it's turning out to be a bit more challenging than I thought. There was one in Woodside earlier this month, but the next one isn't until sometime in June. There's also the Bay Area Summer Festival show, but I don't know whether it's up there or not. There's a Morgan-specific show in August, but in Santa Barbara, and during the week, so I'd have to take vacation time to go.

In the end, I think what I really want most is to go back to being a kid. I want to be able to go back to North Carolina for the summer, to work with those horses again, to go to the shows... I miss that.

Sigh. :)

Ow, my brain.

Math is hard, Barbie! Let's go shopping!

---

Yay, RotK comes out today on DVD, along with the newest Dean Koontz book. Yeah, I am going to go to Borders or something on my lunch break.

---

I have to take a hiatus from University of Phoenix. I don't *want* to, but I'm required to have 30 credits of electives before I can begin my core classes, and I get no additional financial aid for that stuff, so screw them. I am not paying $1400 (roughly) out of pocket for a 5 week long class that'll give me 3 or 4 credits, when I can pay around $100/$150 to take it from a community college, and get pretty much the same number of credits. Yeah, it means my enrollment is delayed, and I'll have to take a 'proficiency test' once I'm done to make sure that I'm up to the UoP standard, but oh well.

It sucks, though. I can't take a lot of the distance learning courses from DeAnza, because they're largely telecourses, and DirecTV doesn't carry the correct channel. That leaves me with evening courses, which will just suck during the hockey season. Sigh.

(Update: Interestingly, DeAnza *does* have afternoon classes that are usually 2 or 3pm to 5 pm. It means I'm stuck on the 5am shift, but it's another option, at least.)

---

I have a meeting with a small business counselor at the Sunnyvale Chamber of Commerce on June 15. I have some questions I want to ask them before I get too involved in this Street Fair America thing, but if all goes well, I will have a list of products up for sale by the end of June. I hope. Wish me luck.

---

One of my clients is high. Seriously. I have no freaking idea where his problem is. I've been staring at it for 45 minutes now, thus the 'math is hard' and 'ow my brain' comments, and I am no closer to figuring out what the blue fuck he's talking about.

Save me. :)

"Ahh...no."

I only saw him coming across the street because I had to go out to my car and raid the stash of change. The 7-11 card machine said 'fuck you' to my debit card, and I couldn't find my cash this morning, so I had to do something else.

I caught a glimpse of him out of the corner of my eye, but didn't think anything of it. I went back inside, paid for my stuff, and came back outside...and there he was.

I rode the bus out here for a long time, long enough to know that face, that look, someone who wants something and is going to ask you for it come hell or high water. I was expecting that he'd ask for money, which I could honestly say I had none of, but instead...

"Excuse me, ma'am. Can I have a ride, please? I'll pay for gas..."

Yeah.

"Ah...no. Sorry. I'm on my way to work, I have to be there in five minutes," I said, and it was hard not to keep the laughter out of my voice. I mean, really. It's almost five in the morning, the only light from anywhere nearby is the 7-11 store front, what would make someone even *consider* that a sane person would agree to something like that?

Consider my good deed for the day not yet completed, I guess.

Calgary fans boo, too. And dinner.

Some sports content--first half of the post.

---

Someone (a Calgary fan, I believe) on the hockey community on livejournal is just aghast at the fact that Sharks fans booed their team during a horrible outing in game 2. She just can't understand why people would ever boo a team that they love. No matter how many people try to explain it to her, she's just genuinely puzzled and taken aback. The impression she gave was that fans of her team NEVER boo at all. Why would they boo their heroes?

I'd like to put this one to rest please, kthxbye. Go and watch the replay of the Patty Marleau goal (goal number four in the game), and listen very carefully after it's scored--there are quite a number of people booing there, after the puck went into the net.

Please to be shutting up about how Sharks fans suck because they boo their team now, okay, because it's not only us. Got it? Thanks.

---

Saturday night was the monthly dinner, and much fun was had by all. We went to Outback, since it was right across from this place called the Putting Edge, a glow in the dark minigolf venue. Dinner was pretty good, there was much good conversation to be had, but it was the minigolf that won the night, I think. The holes would probably not be quite as challenging on a course that's lit by something other than black light, but the glow in the dark thing makes it hard! It's impossible to tell where there's a slope, unless you walk the course beforehand. All in all, though, it was a lot of fun, and we all did pretty damn well, for the most part. I'd love to go back again.

My only gripe is the fact that it was fucking HOT in there. Gah. Turn on the AC, please! :)

Daytime TV.

Okay. So, I watched about half an hour of Oprah today after I got home--yeah, I know, I know, but she had some of the cast members of Shrek 2 as guests. I missed most of it, but I got to see Antonio Banderas talk--he's playing Puss In Boots, which just cracks me up. His wife, Melanie Griffiths, made some comment about his 'big long' cat, which prompted lots of whoops and cheers from the crowd.

Part of the reason I watched the show, though, was because Dame Julie Andrews was going to be on it. Yaay.

I hadn't realized until pretty recently that she had surgery on her vocal cords a few years ago, and that it wasn't entirely successful. She's lost her four-octave range, and she said today on Oprah that she doesn't sing anymore, which I found really sad. Just as bad is the fact that her voice cracks occasionally, and it just...sad.

But I'm actually looking forward to Shrek 2. It looks like it might be fun. :)

Arrg, stabby stabby.

Client has a problem, opens a ticket.

Problem stumps everyone, because it is maintained that, contrary to what the evidence points to, there is no other version of this file that is probably causing the problem anywhere on the server.

Development sends program to test theory that there *is* a file hidden somewhere.

Program is supplied to client with directions.

Program is supplied to client with directions.

Program is supplied to client with directions.

Program is supplied to client with directions.

Program is supplied to client with directions, development closes bug.

Program is supplied to client with directions, and a warning that if client is not heard from by end of the day, ticket will be closed.

Client replies, says the program has not been received (virus scan blocks attachments), would like it sent to another address.

Writer develops concussion from banging head on desk, wonders why this was not brought up the first time program was sent.

Program is supplied to client at second address with directions.

Program is supplied to client at second address with directions.

Program is supplied to client at second address with directions, and a second warning that ticket will be closed soon.

Client responds, unsure of how to use program.

...

...

...

After several moments staring at email, writer tries not to tear out hair.

---

All in a day's work.

Mm, leafy.

It's been windy for a day or two--particularly yesterday afternoon and evening, but it's also pretty breezy this morning, as well. Once again, I sit here and look out the window of my office as the sky continues to get lighter. The trees are still shadows, no real color to them, but the branches move in the wind.

I could tell on the way in that it's been pretty brisk outside lately because, after I turned off Lawrence onto the side streets that take me to the office, it was a veritable graveyard of leaves, twigs, branches, and clumps of all three.

The amusing part was that there's a huge limb in the parking lot here. Guess it's been windy.

---

Also. Today's bit of immense frustration.

Say you work for a software company, okay? In fact, say you're a support engineer for said software company. A client comes to you with a problem that turns out to be a bug, and your development group gives you a workaround--not an actual fix, but a workaround, to make sure that the product remains functional.

With me?

Okay. Say, now, that every year your company has this 'user conference' thing, where clients can go meet-and-greet both other users of the product, as well as attend seminars put on by product management, development, and support.

You're working on an issue for one of the clients who's at this user conference thing, and he's running into this bug that you only have a workaround for, and not a fix.

The Monday morning after the user conference, you get email from the client: 'We had a number of interesting conversations with development at the conference. One of the things they pointed out was that [this workaround you've given me] should be built-in. Would it be possible to get a fix?'

This is the part where my head exploded this morning. I've only been telling these fuckers in development to fix this problem for TWO YEARS, that a workaround is good, but we need to get a fix, and now, THEY'VE told a client that it should be fixed--something WE'VE BEEN BITCHING ABOUT FOREVER, but they've IGNORED ME when I bring it up. ARRRRRRG.

As if I'm responsible for the code or something, and not just passing along what development gives me. Fucking hell.

I hate my job.

And this fucking 5am bullshit
SSSSSSSSSS
UUUUUUUUUUU
CCCCCCCCCCCCC
KKKKKKKKKKK
SSSSSSSSS!

Ahem.

Stuff like that makes me happy.

Next door to where I work (good god, I keep wanting to type 'next store') is a place called Java Street Cafe. I've been eating there fairly often since I first started working here--it's always been within walking distance, and though it might be a touch on the expensive side, the food is delicious and the service is absolutely wonderful.

Not too long ago, we heard that Simon, one of the co-owners, had cancer--bone marrow cancer that had spread to his stomach, no less. They were trying to find bone marrow donors, and held a couple of donation drives, funded by the family, for people to get tested.

Unfortunately, it was not to be. Simon died over the weekend, and Java was closed on Tuesday for his funeral. I went in yesterday, and just...how do you know what to say to that? I talked to his sister (the other co-owner) briefly, and she said that they're doing as well as can be expected. She said that she'd kick his butt' for leaving her alone like this.

I'm not sure what prompted me to bring it up, probably that the website mentioned a rosary service, but I offered to bring her a rosary that I'd made. Little did I know...

Turns out that Mama had given her rosary to Simon, because they hadn't put one in his hands as they were supposed to do, so she needed a new one.

Today, I took the two that I had made--one amethyst and lapis, the other jade and mother of pearl--and made a gift of the pair of them. Angela says that the first will go to her sister-in-law and the second will go to her mother. I didn't ask for money, I didn't feel right about it, all I could do was just give her a hug and tell her that I hope it helped a little bit, especially since I'm sure they've probably heard just about all of the 'I'm sorry' they can take.

Her reaction to it just...I don't know, it made me feel like maybe I really did help out a little bit, and that...that brightens my day.

Wow.

I found this very interesting--it's really lengthy, but...still. Wow. I've actually been there, though it's been many years. It's definitely something to see.

TOMB OF THE UNKNOWN SOLDIER

Interesting facts about the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and the Sentinels of the Third United States Infantry Regiment "Old Guard"

1. How many steps does the guard take during his walk across the tomb of the Unknowns and why?

21 steps. It alludes to the twenty-one gun salute, which is the highest honor given any military or foreign dignitary.

2. How long does he hesitate after his about face to begin his return walk and why?

21 seconds, for the same reason as answer number 1.

3. Why are his gloves wet?

His gloves are moistened to prevent his losing his grip on the rifle.

4. Does he carry his rifle on the same shoulder all the time, and if not, why not?

No, he carries the rifle on the shoulder away from the tomb. After his march across the path, he executes an about face and moves the rifle to the outside shoulder.

5. How often are the guards changed?

Guards are changed every thirty minutes, twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year.

6. What are the physical traits of the guard limited to?

For a person to apply for guard duty at the tomb, he must be between 5' 10" and 6' 2" tall and his waist size cannot exceed 30".

Other requirements of the Guard:

They must commit 2 years of life to guard the tomb, live in a barracks under the tomb, and cannot drink any alcohol on or off duty FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES. They cannot swear in public FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES and cannot disgrace the uniform {fighting} or the tomb in any way.

After TWO YEARS, the guard is given a wreath pin that is worn on their lapel signifying they served as guard of the tomb. There are only 400 presently worn. The guard must obey these rules for the rest of their lives or give up the wreath pin.

The shoes are specially made with very thick soles to keep the heat and cold from their feet. There are metal heel plates that extend to the top of the shoe in order to make the loud click as they come to a halt. There are no wrinkles, folds or lint on the uniform. Guards dress for duty in front of a full-length mirror.

The first SIX MONTHS of duty a guard cannot talk to anyone, nor watch TV. All off duty time is spent studying the 175 notable people laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery. A guard must memorize who they are and where they are interred. Among the notables are: President Taft, Joe E. Lewis {the boxer} and Medal of Honor winner Audie Murphy, {the most decorated soldier of WWII} of Hollywood fame. Every guard spends FIVE HOURS A DAY getting his uniforms ready for guard duty.

The Sentinels Creed:
My dedication to this sacred duty is total and wholehearted. In the responsibility bestowed on me never will I falter. And with dignity and perseverance my standard will remain perfection. Through the years of diligence and praise and the discomfort of the elements, I will walk my tour in humble reverence to the best of my ability. It is he who commands the respect I protect. His bravery that made us so proud. Surrounded by well meaning crowds by day alone in the thoughtful peace of night, this soldier will in honored glory rest under my eternal vigilance.

[More below the cut.]

More Interesting facts about the Tomb of the Unknowns itself:

The marble for the Tomb of the Unknowns was furnished by the Vermont Marble Company of Danby, Vt. The marble is the finest and whitest of American marble, quarried from the Yule Marble Quarry located near Marble, Colorado and is called Yule Marble. The Marble for the Lincoln memorial and other famous buildings was also quarried there.

The Tomb consists of seven pieces of rectangular marble:
Four pieces in sub base; weight A- 15 tons;
One piece in base or plinth; weight A- 16 tons;
One piece in die; weight A- 36 tons;
One piece in cap; weight A- 12 tons;
Carved on the East side (the front of the Tomb, which faces Washington, D.C.) is a composite of three figures, commemorative of the spirit of the Allies of World War I.
In the center of the panel stands Victory (female).
On the right side, a male figure symbolizes Valor.
On the left side stands Peace, with her palm branch to reward the devotion and sacrifice that went with courage to make the cause of righteousness triumphant.
The north and south sides are divided into three panels by Doric pilasters. In each panel is an inverted wreath.
On the west, or rear, panel (facing the Amphitheater) is inscribed:

HERE RESTS IN HONORED GLORY AN AMERICAN SOLDIER KNOWN BUT TO GOD

The first Tomb of the Unknown Soldier was a sub base and a base or plinth. It was slightly smaller than the present base. This was torn away when the present Tomb was started Aug. 27, 1931. The Tomb was completed and the area opened to the public 9:15 a.m. April 9, 1932, without any ceremony.

Cost of the Tomb: $48,000
Sculptor: Thomas Hudson Jones
Architect: Lorimer Rich
Contractors: Hagerman & Harris, New York City
Inscription: Author Unknown

(Interesting Commentary)

The Third Infantry Regiment at Fort Myer has the responsibility for providing ceremonial units and honor guards for state occasions, White House social functions, public celebrations and interments at Arlington National Cemetery and standing a very formal sentry watch at the Tomb of the Unknowns.

The public is familiar with the precision of what is called "walking post" at the Tomb. There are roped off galleries where visitors can form to observe the troopers and their measured step and almost mechanically, silent rifle shoulder changes. They are relieved every hour in a very formal drill that has to be seen to be believed.

Some people think that when the Cemetery is closed to the public in the evening that this show stops. First, to the men who are dedicated to this work, it is no show. It is a "charge of honor." The formality and precision continues uninterrupted all night. During the nighttime, the drill of relief and the measured step of the on-duty sentry remain unchanged from the daylight hours. To these men, these special men, the continuity of this post is the key to the honor and respect shown to these honored dead, symbolic of all unaccounted for American combat dead. The steady rhythmic step in rain, sleet, snow, hail, heat and cold must be uninterrupted. Uninterrupted is the important part of the honor shown.

Recently, while you were sleeping, the teeth of hurricane Isabel came through this area and tore hell out of everything. We had thousands of trees down, power outages, traffic signals out, roads filled with downed limbs and "gear adrift" debris. We had flooding and the place looked like it had been the impact area of an off-shore bombardment.

The Regimental Commander of the U.S. Third Infantry sent word to the nighttime Sentry Detail to secure the post and seek shelter from the high winds, to ensure their personal safety.

THEY DISOBEYED THE ORDER!

During winds that turned over vehicles and turned debris into projectiles, the measured step continued. One fellow said "I've got buddies getting shot at in Iraq who would kick my butt if word got to them that we let them down. I sure as hell have no intention of spending my Army career being known as the damned idiot who couldn't stand a little light breeze and shirked his duty." Then he said something in response to a female reporter's question regarding silly purposeless personal risk... "I wouldn't expect you to understand. It's an enlisted man's thing." God bless the rascal... In a time in our nation's history when spin and total b.s. seem to have become the accepted coin-of-the-realm, there beat hearts - the enlisted hearts we all knew and were so damn proud to be a part of - that fully understand that devotion to duty is not a part-time occupation. While we slept, we were represented by some damn fine men who fully understood their post orders and proudly went about their assigned responsibilities unseen, unrecognized and in the finest tradition of the American Enlisted Man. Folks, there's hope. The spirit that George S. Patton, Arliegh Burke and Jimmy Doolittle left us ... survives.

On the ABC evening news, it was reported recently that, because of the dangers from Hurricane Isabel approaching Washington, DC, the military members assigned the duty of guarding the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier were given permission to suspend the assignment. They refused. "No way, Sir!"

Soaked to the skin, marching in the pelting rain of a tropical storm, they said that guarding the Tomb was not just an assignment; it was the highest honor that can be afforded to a service person. The tomb has been patrolled continuously, 24/7, since 1930.

From Grouchy Old Cripple in Atlanta. Copied and posted here without permission.

BWAHAHAHAHA!

Theo (Me): ... ew. Some poor lady on a Qantas flight got a frog in her salad.
Beka: Was it en route to Paris?

(Yes, it's early and I'm punchy. Sue me!)

Wow, it's early.

5am is too fucking early to be at work, especially after waking up every hour on the hour last night while trying to get some sleep. I finally gave up at quarter after three and got up at about 3:30. Now, it's almost 5:30, the energy boost I got from the shower is slowly but surely leaving me, and...you know, I have a blanket here at work, because this office gets so fucking cold (though it's not cold right now--go figure, they don't turn the AC on until 8am Monday, asshats), and I'd really love to close the blinds, close the office door, and take a nap.

On the up side, the commute this morning was almost fun. I wish I could figure out why the lights change when there's no one coming, though, and why they STAY GREEN for three bloody minutes, for the love of god, when the only car on the road out there is ME. Bitches. :)

Oh! I talked to my mom last night--she and Matt are getting married next year. :D

Random stuff.

I guess, sometimes, they do breed them a bit more liberal in Massachusetts than in California.

UMass Grad Student: Tillman's 'Rambo,' not a hero

Mind you, they may be thinking that in other parts of California, too, but in my part of the Bay Area. Probably because he's one of their own down here.

---

Also...ugh. I think I am going back on the 5am shift starting next Monday. Yeah, imagine my thrill. Better this time of year than toward the beginning of the hockey season, though, I guess.

---

I had another lobster-like moment this morning, this time with a tiny spider. All I wanted was to make sure the thing stayed away from me while I washed my hair, but all I could think of while I was doing so was what I'd do if some big, tarantula-sized spider crept off the window sill at me. Ew.

---

As always, go Sharks!

And why would I do this, again?

So, apparently, Pac Bell Park/SBC Park is now a wireless hot spot.

What's the freaking point of going to a baseball game if you're going to take your laptop? I'm all for technology and stuff, but this just seems silly to me.

Though, I guess it's helpful for day games during the work week. Maybe.

Still. Silly!

Sad!

First KFC finger-lickin' gone

KFC was my first job ever, sad as that is to admit. I trained at the KFC they're talking about in that article. Yes, Virginia, the first KFC restaurant really really was in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Sad. I got a date for my senior prom at that very store.

It'd be really strange, if I still lived there, driving down State Street without seeing that place.

Sad.

Go Sharks!

Yeah, I know, the blog has really been hockey central and has really been boring lately. Bear with me, I really do have things to write about, but this class I just finished up has been killing me.

Meanwhile...go Sharks! I'd much rather have them playing Vancouver in this series, but I remain guardedly optimistic about this one anyway.

Look for something real (no, really!) by this time next week, hopefully sooner.

Yawn.

Oh yes. Being awakened at 5am by the phone is really just my idea of a perfect morning. Having to come in before the break of dawn? Same. True, my alarm would've gone off in another ten minutes, but I would've been able to have some breakfast and take a more leisurely shower, but nooo. I was at work at 5:30 this morning.

On the up side, I'll get to leave that much earlier today. And...my laptop should get here today. And that's about all I can think of for right now.

Snark, snark, snark!!

(Some sports content, some other content toward the end.)

Okay, now I'm *really* annoyed.

I had posted earlier this morning about being bitchy at FSN Bay Area about the way they kept interrupting the hockey game last night, but the post has just vanished somewhere.

So, yeah. FSN decided that EVERYONE needed to see them shrink the hockey game broadcast so they could do a picture-in-picture display every time Barry Bonds went to the plate.

Kiss my ass, bitches, I don't give a fuck about baseball in general, and most especially don't really care about Barry Bonds and the home run thing. Get a grip, not every resident of the Bay Area is a baseball fan, and when you are already showing the game on an alternate station, DO NOT FUCK WITH THE BROADCAST!

It's a really fucking good thing that there were no goals or anything during those times when they cut away, because I would have called them and bitched rather than sending snarky email.

Raar.

But the Sharks played well, yaay! Here's hoping they can knock the Blues out of it on Thursday night, we shall see.

In other news, I finished two of the three rosaries I'm making for Brett's family. One is a jade/amazonite combination, and the other is lapis/blue lace agate. They turned out surprisingly well, and the lapis/blue lace one is my favorite. I'm also comfortable enough with the way they turned out to consider adding them to my product list. They're simple enough to do, the only problem is that they can be somewhat spendy to make, using semi-precious stones as material. I can easily get around that by using other types of beads, though, and who knows, maybe there are people willing to pay for the semi-precious ones.

Yes, I'll post pictures, but I want to finish the third one first. The third one will be rose quartz and something--the concern there is that the black thread will show through the rose quartz bead. Unfortunately, that's just a side effect of the way the thing is put together. I'd considered using lapis beads in place of the rose quartz, but I was really hoping to get three distinct, separate pieces.

And...when it comes right down to it, I'm not sure they'd mind so much, whoever ends up getting it. We shall see. :)

Hitting the publish button now. If this one doesn't post, I am going to be OH SO CRANKY.

Or, should I say, *crankier*.

We are family.

My mom and I are a lot more similar than I ever would have thought, and you know, that thought does not bother me in the least. It might have about ten years ago, because I was an obnoxious 20 year old who still hadn't quite grown out of the teenage persecution complex, but I've definitely grown up since then. Anyone who has met my mom can attest to the fact that she's pretty damn cool, especially anyone who's spent a great deal of time with her.

Said people can probably also vouch for the fact that she and I are a lot alike. And you know what? I like it.

But here's a good case in point, just to illustrate it.

Yesterday when I got home, my mom's cell phone number came up in the caller ID list. Naturally, when it's her cell, I start to worry a little bit, because I figure she'd only be calling me that way if something happened to Matt or Jeremy. (And, of course, the 'oh, but she'd call me at work' voice didn't chime in til later.)

So, I listened to the message, and it was another one of those cases where she'd dialed accidentally somehow, probably with the phone in her purse. All I could hear were indistinct voices, some radio stuff... Nothing bad's happened, check.

Except, what if she's really saying something there, but can't bring the phone to her ear for whatever reason? What if someone's kidnapped her, or...I don't know, something. And that, of course, kicks me into worry mode.

I didn't delete the message--just in case--and called my mom after I hung up. I figured that it really probably was a mistake, but I wanted to check, in that highly unlikely event that something was really wrong.

She and Matt were home and making dinner when I called. I explained what happened, and she assured me that everything was fine, that it really was a mistake.

The whole point of this post, and the amusing part, for me? She told me that she'd have done the exact same thing, had the situation been reversed.

See what I mean about similarities? :)

So full of hate.

I hate daylight savings time. Hate hate hate hate hate. Words cannot describe how much I hate it.

At least, so far (and there is ****MUCH**** knocking on wood right now), there haven't been any reports of product problems because of the time change.

I just hope that it stays that way. Arg.

Also. Stupid freaking hygenist. My dentist has a new assistant, which is fine, whatever. At least this one isn't going to be snarking at me about how I 'need cleanink' all the time...mind you, I just had one last month. But still.

This one was no better, though. She had that scrapy-pointy thing in my mouth to scrape off the cement still on my tooth from the temporary crown, and since I didn't get any kind of anesthetic beforehand, I kept wincing as she hit a particularly tender spot. 'Oh, dat sensitive?' she kept asking. Well no shit, lady, you've got a nasty pointy thing in my mouth, poking at my gums, and you want to know if it's sensitive?

And then? The dentist poked my upper lip with the same pointy tool as he started working. Not a good day for dental work.

More later on the weekend and stuff. Right now, I'm so full of hate that I can't even think about how fun this weekend was. Bah! :)

Wishing our lives away.

This morning, I was a little bit late coming in to work. One of the smokers was out when I got there, having a pre-work cigarette, and we exchanged a few words.

Him: "Good morning."
Me: "Good morning, how are you?"
Him: "Well. I'm here."
Me: *laughter* "I know how that goes."
Him: "It's Tuesday!"
Me: "One day closer to Friday."
Him: "Yeah. It's sad how we keep wishing our lives away."

Which, I thought, as I walked into the building, is truer than I really thought it was, at first. But seriously. What else do I do all week long but plod through the workday and hope/wait/wish for the weekend?

Sad.

Fatherly advice.

Hee!

I was frugal with my points this morning so that I could splurge and have a Togo's sandwich for lunch. Mmm, turkey and avocado goodness. That first bite was just incredibly delicious.

Anyway, I was in line at the pick-up window, and there was a guy behind me holding a kid that's maybe a year or so old who they wave up to the counter while they're getting my receipt and stuff for me. Employee puts drink and straw down on the counter, child automatically reaches for the straw with just a *huge* grin.

"You want the straw?" says Dad, then unwraps it and hands it to him.

Child takes the straw with that same big grin, very charming.

Dad grins and says, "Okay. But don't poke your eye out."

I laughed, and after a pause, Dad says to me, "Just a little fatherly advice, you know."

Hee.

An amusing side note...

...for people familiar with the Crystal Singer series by Anne McCaffrey.

I was in the grocery store today, and I saw something new--SoBe has a drink called...

Fuerte!

Inspired by the Latino Culture, SoBe Fuerte is a blend of Mango and Passion Fruit. Our newest Powerline product contains guarana, jamaica, and yerba matte from Latin America to get you going through the day. Like all SoBe products, Fuerte is specially formulated to quench the body, uplift the spirit and enlighten the mind.

Yeah, I'm a great big geek, and that made me giggle...right there in the middle of the grocery store at 6:30 in the morning.

In spite of the allergies...

It's quite lovely out today. In spite of the inevitable allergies, which I hope (knock on wood!) will be mild this year, I love this season.

I walked outside today to go get something for lunch, and it was pleasantly warm, but not hot. My hair is long enough to be pulled back now, so I put it back in this tiny ponytail, and rolled down every window in my car on the way to the store and back.

The breeze was soft on my hand when I put it out of the car, and the traffic noise just wasn't that bad.

Some days are just beautiful, and this is one of them.

Heh.

What does it say about me that, when we get an email from a client describing a problem and asking, 'what should I do,' my immediate thought is to reply telling him to bend over, put his head between his legs, and kiss his ass goodbye?

Yeah, I know. Look at all those shocked faces from the people who know me well.

Shut up. :)

Buh...?

I have just had one of the most...surreal experiences of my life.

I walked into a post office (the one on Mary, for those of you familiar with Sunnyvale and its postal orifices), at just past 12:30pm, on a FRIDAY...

...

...and there was not a line three miles long leading out the door.

In fact, when I walked in, there were two open windows, and no line at all.

I have never seen that. Ever.

Even when going to the post office in little Zebulon, NC, there was *always* a line, albeit a short one.

I was in and out in 10 minutes, and that included sending two packages, picking up a registered letter, buying stamps, and getting some information about how to print labels on my very own printer.

What the fuck?

:)

Why am I not surprised?

J. K. Rowling says she may write an 8th Harry Potter book.

Yeah. So not surprised.

But at least the article mentions that she's working on book 6. :)

Interesting.

According to CNN, there are very few bloggers on the net.

Guess they're not all that familiar with Livejournal and Diaryland and the like, are they?

Unless the legions of teenyboppers writing in AOL speak and lamenting about how hard their lives are just doesn't count.

Hm. :)

It's the crab in me.

Or something.

The past day or two has been anything but fun for me--which is laughable in some ways, I suppose, because I know that it's been much more painful for other people.

That said, please don't take it personally if I retreat from things and people for a little while--like I said, it's the crab in me, the tendency to want to hide somewhere and pull things over my head. I've also disabled comments on this post. If you want to make a comment here, too bad. If you leave a comment in one of my other posts about what I've said here, I reserve the right to beat you soundly about the head and shoulders with a wet noodle.

I also had a list of a few things here that I wanted to say, but after reading over them, and reading a few other things, I decided that I really didn't want to post, after all.

So, yeah. Just remember what I said above. I'm not feeling much up to dealing with people, right now.

I will say one last thing, however--and I'll only say it once. Though I might not like his politics (hell, I fucking loathe ALL politics, and these past two days should explain why), it has *always* irked me when people compare GWB to Hitler. Until and unless GWB starts tattooing numbers onto all those people whom he deems unfit and starts shoving them into ovens, among a ton of other things, there is no fucking comparison. I have always had difficulty expressing why, but my husband did a fine job of that yesterday. He said what I couldn't.

And now, I'm done. See y'all around.

It's raining, it's pouring.

Finally, we get an actual storm! The wind kicked up this morning, and I'm not sure how long it's been raining now, but it hasn't let up at least since I woke up--not that I've seen.

I had to wade through the parking lot at my dentist's office this morning, and the wind kept blowing the door open. Yet again, the assistant was the farthest thing from gentle that it's possible to be without *deliberately* hurting someone. 'You still need cleanink!' Yes, I know that, and I have it scheduled for sometime in March, but gee, I figured the fact that the temporary on this tooth was FALLING OFF was more important.

Sigh. :)

ANYway. The storm is quite lovely. Right now, the rain is falling so hard that it almost looks like it's snowing. A really wet snow, of course, but still. And yeah, I know it fucks up the traffic pretty horribly, but while I'm inside, and not driving..? It doesn't worry me too much.

This is not the kind of day to be at work. This is the kind of day to be tucked up with a loved one on a couch, sharing a blanket, watching TV and eating comfort food or something.

Bah. Work. :)

Buh.

This morning, on the radio, they're having a contest--be the first to answer three questions correctly, and get a free ticket to the Sharks autograph session tonight.

I'm still boggling.

"The Stanley Cup is named for Stanley Kowalski, from A Streetcar Named Desire, true or false?"

"True!"

Good god. Why would you want to go to a Sharks autograph session if you don't even know what the Stanley Cup is?

Still! More! Music!

Pepsi is having this contest thing where you can win a free song from iTunes.com if you get a code for it under the cap.

Out of six 20 ounce bottles I've had over the past five or so days, every one of them has been a winner. Interesting, considering the odds are supposed to be 1 in 3.

I guess I'm lucky when it comes to choosing soda bottles. Take that, Cashman luck! ;)

Fuck you, you bastards.

Okay, you know what? I am fucking tired of the housekeeping people here. Really fucking tired of them. I'm still pissed off that they keep throwing away my damn water bottles, even though there's a NOTE on them that politely requests that they don't. I hate coming in in the morning and feeling like something is just not quite right, but not able to put my finger on exactly what the problem is. IT's hard to explain, I just know I'm not the only one who feels it.

But anyway. The latest piss-me-off:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store on my way to work, and one of the things that I picked up was one of those four-pack of muffins from the bakery. Mmm, coffee cake muffins.

I had one yesterday morning. My intent was to have another this morning, and take the other two home, so they could be eaten tomorrow. (Yeah, dieting this week? Not so much.) So, when I left yesterday, there were three of the little buggers sitting in their container on my desk.

That was my mistake, I suppose, leaving them on my desk.

But when I came in this morning, there were only two.

In the greater scheme of things, it's a muffin, BFD, right? Mostly what annoys me is that someone took it without asking. I mean, had someone asked me, sure, whatever. But it was just *taken*. Grr.

Between this, and some of the stupid customer sat surveys we got yesterday, and the stupid email I got from my professor yesterday, and a million other things...gah. I'm cranky, and dammit, it's Friday. I shouldn't be cranky.

Boo.

Mumble.

New class started last week. New class is much different than old class in that there is NO organization whatsoever by the instructor, opposed to last time, where the instructor was very structured about making threads in the news group every week, and telling us to make sure we used them. The lack of organization makes following the new class much more difficult than following the old class was.

Admissions advisor suggests sending email to professor.

Email for professor drafted, taking great care to phrase things from a personal perspective. All kinds of 'this is why I am having trouble' sort of statements, all non-accusatory, whatever.

And what kind of response did I get? Well, I basically got blown off. That, and told that suggestions 'will only work if they're used.'

Er, excuse me, but I *have* been following my own suggestions. You're the instructor. Doesn't that mean you should...sort of...take charge?

And what else was said? Oh, nothing much, except for the implication that I am not attentive to the posts made by the facilitator, and that I should be 'more cordial.'

I wonder if it's too late to ask to change classes. :P

5 things.

I've been pretty quiet lately, posting wise. I think I've run into another of those situations where I just don't have a whole lot to say. I'm also feeling guilty, because I owe people questions for the 5 questions meme, but it's *hard* to come up with questions to ask people, especially when you want to ask something more than the superficial 'what's your favorite color' stuff.

So anyway. Today, just to get myself writing *some*thing...here's a list of five things that I'm thankful for.

1. My job. It drives me craaaaaazy, but I'm glad I have it.

2. Curves. Yay, Curves. Yay, a place to exercise that isn't all about the muscle bunnies, but is all about women just like me who all want/need to get into shape and feel better about themselves.

3. It's a lovely day out today. The cloud cover this morning on my way to work was very thick and ominous looking, and the wind was just amazing. It's quite warm, too, surprisingly enough. The wind is warm, but so is the air temperature. I love weather like this.

4. There is a new Indigo Girls CD out today. I already got to hear a few songs from it in concert, and..just..yay. :)

5. I got a gift this weekend--my wonderful husband has adopted polar bears from the WWF for me. They're awfully cute...in that 'gee, what big teeth you have, you could probably put the beat down on me in a heartbeat' kind of way.

Don't cryyyyy out louuuud.

I was in the grocery store the other day, shopping for a few things before I went home, and heard that song on the muzak--Don't Cry Out Loud, or whatever the hell it was called. That was one of those songs that we'd always just sing, not really paying attention to the lyrics, but the other day in the store, I actually listened to what was being said. I'm sure this has been mentioned before, I *know* I remember one of my friends talking about it, but sheesh. What a message!

Don't cry out loud, just keep it inside, remember to hide your feelings. Fly high and proud, and if you should fall, remember you almost had it all.

I mean, holy shit. Seriously. Remember to hide your feelings? Remember you almost had it all? Good god. Talk about a kick in the nuts. I remember people used to dedicate that song to one another all the time. It's kind of like Every Breath You Take, by the Police. All those people who sighed and said 'it's our song,' that had never really *listened* to the lyrics, and had no idea that it was about some STALKER! Sheesh!

No, there's no real point to this entry asid from that. It just struck me as I was watching the wind blow the two trees outside my window.

I love having a window.

Grump.

Okay, peeved at these Holiday Travel of America people. We went and listened to some time share spiel and were supposed to get a 3 day, 2 night 'free' Hawaiian vacation out of it. 'Free', because you have to pay airport fees and the like. And 'supposed to' because even though I've sent in my deposit and provided our dates, I haven't actually heard anything from them. Call us, they say, if your travel dates are less than 45 days away. Well. Considering our second choice of date was March 2nd, and I've now called *twice* and gotten no answer, I am supremely less than impressed with their service. What does it matter to them, I suppose, I'm just one more customer. But at this point, it's tempting just to get my damn deposit back, and screw them. I'll pay for my own Hawaiian holiday, and I won't have to go to Honolulu.

Also. What the hell is up with KFOX playing All Beatles, All The Time? Guys. There is more to classic rock than the Beatles and the Rolling Stones. And while I'm at it, hey KSJO? There is more to metal than Metallica. And The Bone? More to 'classic rock that rocks' than fucking Led Zeppelin, good god.

eBay is *really* my friend.

My first round of auctions, DVDs and a few VHS tapes, ended last night, and all but two of those items sold. I've gone from a zero balance in my paypal account to substantially more than that, and a lot of people haven't even paid yet.

Almost all the game stuff is being sold. There's still a ton more of that to list, and there's plenty of other assorted crap that I just haven't bothered with yet, but...wow. I'm happy about it. :) We're still trying to figure out what to do with all the money we make from selling that stuff.

In the meantime, I found out yesterday that one of the people I've met on the new Crystal Singer MUSH I started playing is someone that I knew a long time ago on a different, Pern-themed MUSH, so that was kind of fun to discover. I'm still enjoying the game, which is nice, too--there are always a few things that annoy, but I think that you run into that anywhere--just as there is no law against stupid, there is no law against playing a MUSH while flamingly psychotic. Alas. :)

Blahblah'ohmygodabreast'blahblah. Okay, seriously.

Yeah yeah, Janet Jackson bared a breast on national TV. And, yeah, there was a brief moment of 'ew' for me, and for a lot of people, I'm sure.

But holy christ, people--media and radio people, I mean. Could you shut the hell up about it already? Sure, it may've been an unwelcome surprise, and yeah, their decision to pull that little stunt (er, no pun intended) was probably ill-advised, but.

Hey, Media People. It's a BREAST. If you're female, you have 'em. In fact, your mother had two. If you were breast-fed, you spent at least six months hanging off one of them. Get over it already. Some of us might actually want to hear about NEWS when we turn on the TV.

Wellthen.

So, it really *was* a boob shot. Please note that the link is not safe for work, and not safe for anyone who doesn't want to see an extreme close up of Janet Jackson's exposed breast that she flashed the whole world with last night.

And yeah, like this CNNSI writer, tell me it wasn't staged.

Though, I have to say, Janet can still be pretty goddamn sexy when she wants to be. Before Justin Timberlake rips her clothes off, anyway. That? That was just icky.

eBay is my friend.

This past weekend when my mom was here, we went to Ikea for new shelves for our dining room. The ones we had were a mismatched set, and we figured it'd be nice to get something sturdier and stronger, that also matched some. A part of this process, though, was to clear off the shelves of anything we didn't think we'd use anymore--or read anymore, in the case of books. There were three piles: keep, sell, or donate. The 'donate' pile was freaking huge--I was absolutely brutal. Even stuff I'd read a few times and might possibly read again went into the donate pile. If I hadn't read it in more than a year, into the pile it went. Etc.

Anyway, so, in the 'sell' pile is a bunch of DVDs, a load of Brett's game stuff, some of my books (mostly hardbacks, or authors whom I know will sell well), and some McGwire memorabilia from the Home Run Derby season. So, I've started listing on eBay again. Just the DVDs for now, but I'm planning to get the RPG stuff up when I get home. That usually sells like hotcakes.

Whee.

No...there really *was* no point to this entry, just chatter. :)

Fahk YOUUUUUU.

Okay. Here I was going to write something brief about the fun weekend that I had with my mom, in between verbal and emailed assrapings at work, but no. No, I saw some of my blog comments, which pissed me off.

You know, it's bad enough that I get spam email at work and at home, and the stupid fax machine that calls my work phone number, presumably to spew yet more junk at me.

But what the fuck is up with getting spam in my blog comments now? I mean, jesus. Don't people have better things to do with their time?

I have one thing to say to these fucktards. *upraised middle finger* You're number one!

Uh, I don't think so.

So, today, at my work email address, I get the following:

-----Original Message-----
From: FDIC [email removed, but was @att.net]
Sent: Saturday, January 24, 2004 3:00 AM
To: [Me @ Work]
Subject: Important News About Your Bank Account

To whom it may concern;
In cooperation with the Department Of Homeland Security, Federal, State and Local Governments your account has been denied insurance from the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation due to suspected violations of the Patriot Act. While we have only a limited amount of evidence gathered on your account at this time it is enough to suspect that currency violations may have occurred in your account and due to this activity we have withdrawn Federal Deposit Insurance on your account until we verify that your account has not been used in a violation of the Patriot Act.

As a result Department Of Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge has advised the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation to suspend all deposit insurance on your account until such time as we can verify your identity and your account information.

Please verify through our IDVerify below. This information will be checked against a federal government database for identity verification. This only takes up to a minute and when we have verified your identity you will be notified of said verification and all suspensions of insurance on your account will be lifted.

[URL Removed, points to fdic.gov @ [IP address], HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.]

Failure to use IDVerify below will cause all insurance for your account to be terminated and all records of your account history will be sent to the Federal Bureau of Investigation in Washington D.C. for analysis and verification. Failure to provide proper identity may also result in a visit from Local, State or Federal Government or Homeland Security Officials.

Thank you for your time and consideration in this matter.

Donald E. Powell

Chairman Emeritus FDIC

John D. Hawke, Jr.

Comptroller of the Currency

Michael E. Bartell

Chief Information Officer

----

Okay.

First off, there is no fucking way that my credit union has my WORK email address. Hell, they probably don't even have my HOME email address.

Secondly, there's no fucking way that my credit union would give that information to the FDIC, that's a violation of their privacy policy.

Thirdly, if this were truly an issue the FDIC would be announcing this ON THE NEWS, rather than contacting people via email.

Fourth, even if THEY didn't do it, I'm sure that my BANK would either a) contact me via phone, or b) put a notice on their website.

The sad part is, PEOPLE BELIEVE THIS SHIT!

Fucking hell, folks. The FDIC has its own .gov website, it DOES NOT have to use an @att.net address.

When the URL refers you to [www.blah.com] @ [IP], HELLO, CLUE #2. I'll take redirects for a thousand, Alex. Try going to just the regular website first. If there's not something big and glaring and flashing on that site, pointing you to a spot where you should go, DON'T DO IT!

And even if you don't believe ME, how about you CALL YOUR BANK first? Don't you think that *THEY* would know if your account had been suspended for some reason or another?

Jeebers cripes. How stupid do these donkey-raping shit-eating spammer bastards think we-the-American-public are?

Okay, don't answer that. No, don't. Really.

Ahem.

Back to your regularly scheduled Friday, where I am still feeling like Jared in that Subway commercial: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Bastaaaaarrrds!

Arg, the fucking California DMV is going to be the death of me! Words cannot express how much I loathe them right now.

A week or so ago, I got pissed off waiting for my new license to arrive, that I went in to get in freaking October. So, three months later when it wasn't here, I figured I should call. The phone monkey told me that there was a problem with my picture, and that I had to go back into the office. The field office was supposed to call me, but they didn't, and gee, sorry, but that's not her problem, thanks, next in line.

Fuckers.

So, I made an appointment online with the Santa Clara office.

Except that, today, when I went to verify date and time of the appointment, it couldn't find a record that I'd made one.

Yeah, I'm a wee bit pissed.

Even better? I tried to make another appointment online, and it gets all the way through to the confirmation page, but then tells me that the online system isn't available.

Fucking bastards.

Dear...

Dear Nasty Ugly Bitchy Asian Lady Peering Over The Wheel Of A Big-Ass SUV:

Hi. See that DARK BLUE CAR over on your left? Yeah, the one you've nearly drifted into three times, threatened to cut off more than once, AND given dirty looks to because YOU are the one who can't fucking drive? Yeah, that's me. If you don't knock that shit off, I will do you some serious harm.

Love,
Pissed-Off Commuter

---

Dear Amazon.Com:

Just because I happen to like Melissa Etheridge and Indigo Girls, and just because I happened to click on a link showing the Arwen and Aragorn as Barbie and Ken dolls because a friend showed it to me does NOT mean that I am a lesbian with a doll fetish. Fuck off.

Cordially,
Annoyed Consumer

---

Dear Dead Things Red Wings Fan:

You are not in Detroit. Throwing an octopus onto the ice after your team scores a goal will only get your ass kicked by various Sharks fans as the ushers escort you out. How about you shove that nasty thing up your ass, instead?

Amusedly,
That Girl Up In 224

---

Dear Asshat Sitting Behind Me:

Yeah, I know, it's a hockey game. Yeah, I know you're there to have fun. Yeah, I also know that a lot of people come to games to drink, eat, and talk up a storm. However. Dropping your empty beer bottle in front of you can cause it to roll down a level, and frankly, I don't want my shoes smelling like skanky beer. Also, I get that the 'Wings are sucking. Shut the hell up. One more thing: If you drop another fucking chip on me, I am going to pick up this empty bottle of yours, bend you over, and shove it up your ass with no lube. Especially if there's cheese on it.

Annoyedly,
Still That Girl In 224

---

Dear Chronically Stupid Cow-Orker:

Go home. Go home, and don't come back until you can beg, borrow, steal, or barter your soul away to Satan for a brain. Your office-mates will thank you.

Hugs'N'Kisses
No, My Name Is NOT 'Lid'

---

Dear Gross And Disgusting Bitches:

For the fifteen millionth time, FLUSH THE FUCKING TOILET!

Nauseously,
The Gagging Woman

---

Brought to you by cranky/bitchy girl.

Weekend observation, and new words.

Friday night, we had dinner with Jeremy's dad, in from Wisconsin. Most memorable part of the night: Jim telling Brett, "Don't get your shit hot!"

Also. My boss is awesome. I got this, via email, last week:

NEW WORDS FOR 2004: Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary:

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the w alls to see what's going on.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiney.

SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace copy machine.

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The J-Lo and Ben wedding (or not) was a prime example.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.

GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

WOOF'S: Well-Off Older Folks.

CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously farting while passing through a Cube Farm.

I am in hell.

Fanfic hell, that is. I started writing fanfic a long time before I realized that there was a name for it, but I never actually did anything with it. Most of what I wrote, especially in high school, was for my own enjoyment, since it was basically crap. :)

So, I forgot about it for a long time, before I was finally inspired to write something based on Stephen King's The Stand, that actually wasn't too bad. I had three chapters for it at one point, but lost most of it due to a hard drive, so, once more, I forgot about it and didn't start it up again--which I really should rectify, because it really wasn't terrible.

And then...there was Cassie Claire, whom most people know for her LotR Very Secret Diaries--which, if you haven't read them, really are worth it. Anyway. So, as it turns out, she also writes Harry Potter stuff, and there was my introduction to the term 'fanfic.' I read most of her stuff, and found Schnoogle, a novel-length Harry Potter fanfic archive, so I got absorbed in it pretty quickly. Some of it was absolute crap, some was okay, but there were a few gems (including Cassie Claire's) that were truly wonderful. The problem was, since that series is still in progress, it was too easy to mix the alternate universe themes of the fanfic with the 'real' universe that JK Rowling is writing.

So, I stopped reading HP fanfic shortly before Order of the Phoenix came out, except for the one story that I really wanted to finish, and once more, I stopped reading stuff for awhile.

And THEN, I found Henneth Annun, which is all Lord of the Rings, all the time. One of the stories that I read from there was pretty good--they've got an assortment of things up there, poetry, humor, novel-length stories, vignettes, etc. Interestingly, most of the stuff at this place is really good--not all of it interests me, but almost all of it is very well written and intelligent.

So, why am I in fanfic hell, you ask?

Well.

The author of the story that I mentioned above has another page, on FanFiction.Net, and the stuff she's got there is likewise enjoyable. However. FF.Net is an archive for everything under the sun--anime, books, TV shows, movies, etc. I haven't read much of the LotR stuff from there, but I glanced through some of the Stephen King stuff and...gah. Oh. My. God.

Okay. I realize that I'm kind of a grammar freak, but seriously, guys. If you're going to write stuff for a large audience, if you're going to post on a site like that, please please please please learn some rules of grammar. Capitalize names, use punctuation. Dialogue between separate characters should take their own paragraphs. USE A SPELL-CHECKER. l33t sp33k has no place in fanfic. Try spelling out words like 'you' and 'are' rather than using U and R. Ditto for '4/four/for.' And hey, learn the difference between there/they're/their, and two/too/to. A lot is two separate words. And please, for the love of god, get a beta reader who isn't afraid to TELL YOU these things. Someone who's going to tell you that some of your stuff is crap and that it needs work.

Maybe then, I wouldn't be in fanfic hell.

What's that? Stop reading? I can't. It's like a 10 car pile-up that way.

Early morning musings.

- Wow, last night's game sucked--talk about bad acid flashbacks to last season or early this season or something.

- 49ers quarterback Jeff Garcia was at the Sharks game last night...and on the news this morning, I heard that he'd been arrested on suspicion of DUI in San Jose. Hmmm...had a few too many at the game, I'm thinking. :)

- Ow, I am sore.

- What is it with my nice, high-quality black socks that they all get holes in the toe? Grr.

- Suck-o-riffic, Lucent security is now blocking GoToMyPC.com, saying that it's a proxy avoidance tool. Yeah, I'm trying to figure that one out. So, don't expect to see me online today (or for awhile). Which *really* sucks, considering that I'm desperately needing to do some homework. Have Yahoo!Messenger? Leave a comment or send me email at work (epalmer@lucent), or send a message to squeelookle--hopefully, it'll work. Sometimes, Yahoo won't let me receive messages til I send one first.

Fog.

The fog comes
on little cat feet.

It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.

-- Carl Sandburg

It was foggy when I woke up this morning. Not the dense, swirling fog that you sometimes see coming over the mountains headed south toward the Golden Gate, but heavy, still, and quiet, muting the traffic noise from the expressway outside. It was unexpected, in a way--I've never seen fog quite like that around here, the sort of fog I was used to in Salt Lake that would hit during winter, lying heavy over the base of the mountains, casting even the end of our street, half a block away, into a thick, misty shadow. The drive to the dentist's office was strange, too--the fog was so thick in some places that it was hard to see the taillights of the car ahead of you, and the lights from the oncoming traffic were barely there, but a few car lengths head, it would vanish entirely, with just the cloud cover visible.

Strange. Fun, in a way, but strange. It made me miss Utah winters, but only for a moment. I'm not quite *that* insane. :)

Out with the old...

You know, I'm not sure that subject line really has anything to do with this post. Ah well.

Happy New Year, everyone! Stay tuned for pictures of the monstrous lobsters that lost their lives to our party on New Year's Eve.

Most memorable quote of the evening:

"Ding, robstah's done!"

I just wish I could remember the rest of the song that he made up. What I *do* know is that it's been said more times over the past few days than I really want to think about.

Yeah, add another phrase to the lexicon. :)

Other random notes:

Drove up to SFO last night to pick up Jason, and got there a bit before the plane landed. Was amused at the woman who very nearly created An Incident with security because, shrieking, she sprinted past the 'Do Not Enter' signs to give someone a hug.

Another airport observation: over the loudspeaker, they occasionally have announcements that we 'are currently at homeland security threat level orange.' During these announcements, they admonish everyone to keep a lookout for unattended bags, and to notify security if one should happen to come across one of said unattended bags. This made me snicker every time I heard it--I was standing in the baggage claim and, uh, all the odd sized packages? Unattended. The ton of bags that weren't picked up from the carousel? Likewise unattended. Bah. :)

Okay, back to work. I brought lobster in today for my co-workers to enjoy--hopefully, they'll eat all the rest of it to spare me from having to bring any home. We shall see.

Have a wonderful new year, everyone. I can't wait to see what 2004 has in store.

Robstah Craw!

Okay.

This is how you know for sure that your mind has just completely, utterly run away from you.

Brett bought lobsters for tonight's dinner yesterday, and put them in a cooler on the porch with some ice. Now, if you haven't heard about this, apparently the lady who was fishing the lobsters out for him took his saying 'smaller, smaller!' to mean 'find me the biggest fucking lobsters in that tank or I'll hurt you,' because these things are just monsters. He said that she'd fish one out and hold it up all triumphantly when she found another one.

Anyhow.

He called home to get advice from his dad about how to store them. Let's not go into that too much, eh? We ended up taking them out of the bags and laying all five of them in the cooler on top of the ice, one on top of the other.

The one that went on top was the five pound monster. Holy shit, seriously. I am going to take pictures of these beasts, they're HUGE, that one especially. But the lobsters are understandably pissed off about the change in venue, and were even more pissed off when I added some water to the bottom of the cooler. The big guy in particular was the worst--he started moving that big tail of his, and I can imagine that they're pretty quick swimmers, really. Damn good thing that those claws are rubber-banded.

So, I checked on them this morning to make sure that they were still moving, as I'm sure that Brett had been doing periodically throughout the night. When I opened the cooler, nothing happened, but I prodded at the big guy and the one next to him, and was rewarded with twitching legs and the rolling of beady eyes.

Now...for some reason, that just totally gave me the heebs this morning, and I'm not really doing all that much better right now. Eeee.

The worst? (And *finally*, I come to the point.) This is how I know my mind is running away with me.

I'm in the shower, washing my hair, so my back is to the drain. I keep having these visions of a big-ass lobster popping up out of the drain and whacking at me with a plastic bucket lid, as I was doing to the "little ones" in the cooler.

It wasn't the idea of being whacked on the head that bugged me so much. The big-ass lobster popping out of the drain, though? Eeeewwww. Gah. Just the thought makes my skin crawl.

See? My too-active mind has run away with me. :)

Dude, sweet!

Aside to Satyr69 from LJ: I just heard Travis/Buddy sing That'll Be The Day on 98.5 with Greg Kihn. (It's 'the best of,' so was probably recorded awhile ago.) I wasn't paying much attention, but I heard him and thought, 'hey! I know that voice!'

Kick ass. :) I just wish I'd caught it when it was live.

Update: Hee! Maria Elena Holly's also there via phone. Cool!

Sheesh.

Because, you know, trying to take a fish on an airplane makes you a terrorist!

Idiots.

It's the most wonderful time...

So, I'm sitting here in my office, looking out the window--it's still mostly dark outside, and the cloud cover really helps with that. Across the street are lights on top of a few buildings, but for the most part, the trees are black, and the sky is a leaden grey where it peeks through. It's a bit windy out this morning--not quite so much as yesterday, but enough that it makes the branches move, a dark silhouette against a barely lighter sky. As I write this, as I watch, the sky lightens on another day.

It's hard to believe that another year is already so close to ending--so much has happened this year, too, that it'd be hard to remember it all, but for the fact that it's so well documented elsewhere. That's certainly one good thing about livejournal/blogs--all that stuff I might ordinarily forget is right there for me to remember.

Like this, for example.

I'd meant to write something meaningful about everything that has happened this year, about all the good things, and the bad, all the things that just make me thankful that I'm alive and a part of this world. I'll probably post a retrospective at some point, but... :)

Anyway. Have a wonderful holiday, my friends, whatever you celebrate--or don't celebrate. My thoughts are with you.

Monday, Monday.

- Yes, stupid evil fucking hygenist woman, I get the fact that I have to have a cleaning. Trust me, I know, they're my teeth. You do not have to HURT ME to make that point.

- Yay for a dentist's office who's not playing constant carols.

- Holy shit, big-ass earthquake. I thought I was all dizzy at first, til I looked up at the blinds and they were moving. I've felt a few of the aftershocks thus far, as well.

- Mmmm, cooking teriyaki on Wednesday for all our friends who are coming over Christmas Eve. I even found some tofu for Jason, yay me.

- But dammit, Albertson's didn't have any flank steak, so I have to go back tonight or tomorrow. Hoorah for savings awards. We have two left.

- Also. Must make candied pecan crack for co-workers. :)

Ho. Ly. Shit.

I don't know how many of the people who read my blog heard about the Penny Arcade 'Child's Play' charity--Penny Arcade is a video game comic that I haven't read very often, but anyway. For Christmas, they put up an Amazon wishlist for Seattle Children's Hospital & Regional Medical Center, and also set up a Paypal account. Well, I don't know how much money people spent donating toys and stuff, but they received over twenty seven *THOUSAND* dollars via Paypal. And check out the website, that has links to some of the pictures they took of all the toys they got.

Holy crap. Seriously. Holy crap. They're not accepting donations anymore, because of shipping times and stuff, but they're talking about making it an annual thing, and broadening their scope.

Wow.

The news article in the Seattle Times where I found the link to all the pictures. Go gamers. :)

Random Friday morning thoughts.

Woo. A bit of shopping, a bit of food, a bit of ballet up in San Francisco tomorrow night with my friend Melissa, as she mentions in one of her latest posts, about her busy week. We still don't really have any definite plans, aside from the ballet tomorrow night, but it'll be a lot of fun, regardless. I'm really looking forward to it.

Extend the cheer! Charge $100 or more on your Mervyns charge card, and make no payments until March 2004! Yeah, because having to pay off Christmas bills is really going to extend my cheer.

Also, once again, what the fuck is it with people who take $100s to 7-11, at 6:30 in the freaking morning? Sure, buy a few expensive magazines, but the guy doesn't have more than $20 in the register, why should $25 in magazines make it any easier on him? He still has to get money out of the safe, and he STILL has to make us 'really starting to get fucking cranky now, must kill' people in line behind you wait. And trust me....you really don't want to make us wait. Grr.

Greg Kihn's daughter Lexie has an absolutely beautiful voice, and his son Rye, the guitarist, is extremely talented. I hope they decide to release some of these Christmas songs on CD someday.

Hmm. If I want to get a tree this weekend, probably Sunday, that means I have to finally take those boxes of books to the library, for cryin out loud. They've been there for months. I should empty the wedding box, too. Heh. Anyone want some 60 or so bottles of navy tulle-wrapped bubbles?

I am eternally in Matt's debt for introducing me to Burt's Bees, specifically the beeswax lip balm. Woo.

Must also send stuff to my mom's house this weekend. Oh, and I must send Andie's box this weekend. Guess I know what I'm doing on Saturday morning.

Must get back to work now.

Also. My RotK thoughts.

*yawn* I am so freaking tired. Movie was supposed to start at 11:15, but because of the stupid monkeys at Homeytown, and the TWENTY FIVE MINUTES of commercials and previews...BAH.

However. Prisoner of Azkaban trailer on big screen. Nice.

Anyway, I'm also not going to bother talking too much about this, especially not right now. I did have to point out a few things, though.

Please DON'T click 'more' or click on the link in LJ unless you've either already seen the movie, or don't mind some mild spoilers.

- I would have enjoyed the movie more had the audience not been full of fucktards. The foursome sitting next to me kept whispering, even when I told them to shut up. One of the girls got up to pee no less than three times, and had to be brought up to speed each time she came back, to say nothing of all the other loud rustling, kicking of chairs, and coughing. Jeebus, people, SHUT UP!

- This sort of goes hand in hand with the last point, but good god. Can I point out a couple of things, folks? Smeagol murdering his brother for the ring is NOT FUNNY. Watching Smeagol's descent into madness because of the ring is NOT FUNNY. Eowyn's heartbreak over Theoden's death is NOT FUNNY. Shelob wrapping Frodo up in spider webbing is NOT FUNNY. Getting the point here? Yes, there are moments in the movie that are at least put in for some kind of humor value, but stuff like that? No. Not funny. Shut the fuck up before I kick you right in the nuts.

- I think that my expectations may have been too high. It was a good movie, and I enjoyed it, don't get me wrong...and maybe part of the problem was the audience, but I just didn't get as much out of it as I was hoping.

- I'm stopping now before this turns into a full-scale pick-apart, similar to what Brett and I engaged in on the brief drive home.

Parodies.

Some of you may remember the condensed parody version of Two Towers that I linked to/passed around last year.

Well, the same author has done the same thing for Return of the King.

Lots of spoilers here, if you haven't seen the movie, so no clicky unless you've already gone to the theater, or unless you don't care about spoilers. Okay? Lots of spoilers in that second link. No, seriously.

Woo!

I agree with everyone who has said that the extended edition of Two Towers is better than the theatrical version.

Yay, interaction between Pippin and Merry!

Yay, the elven rope that Galadriel gave Sam!

Yay, more background about Aragorn, including how old he is!

Yay, the Boromir-Faramir-Denethor triangle!

And yay...11:45pm tickets to see Return of the King tomorrow. Woooot. Must remember to take a box of kleenex. I know I'm going to need it.

However.

Yay. According to the payroll website, our bonuses pay out on Friday. This means I will not be anywhere near as crunched about Christmas as I thought I would.

Bah. Stupid.

Why is it that, when trying to send just one single eCard, you either have to pay for the priviledge through Blue Mountain or American Greetings, or you get swarmed with the world's most annoying pop-up ads? I remember when all that stuff was free.

The worst part is, for Blue Mountain, at least--they'll give you a free month, but you have to CALL THEM to cancel, or they'll just merrily bill your credit card. What's wrong with this picture? If I join online, I should bloody well be able to cancel online, too, you bastards.

Ouchie.

Had my third and (hopefully) final root canal this morning. In spite of the fact that I told the referring dentist that I was a great big baby (why else go to a sedation dentist, after all?) and could he please send me to someone gentle, well...I didn't get someone gentle.

I mean, a gentle endodontist doesn't cause his patient almost two hours of extreme discomfort, does he? I'll spare the gritty details, but let's just say that I have a small mouth, and gee, my lips really aren't all that flexible. Ow.

But it's done, yay. I go back there for the followup on the 19th, and hopefully, I won't ever have to go back to see that guy again. We'll see.

Anyway, let's just say that I'm extremely glad that's over, and very soon now, all the big and nasty dental work will be done.

Random thought from the dentist's office today:

They have one of the constant Christmas music stations playing, and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer came on. Anyone remember singing that as a kid, and interjecting those comments in? For example: 'They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games.' "Like football!" Today, the logical adult mind kicks in. Why the hell would we ever say that reindeer play football? I mean, I dig the whole 'kids have no limitations to their imaginations' thing and all, but...*football*? Er. :)

And, on the up side, I got some *very* good news today--yay, my financial aid came through, and as of December 18th, I'm officially a student of the University of Phoenix. Go me.

Hmm.

So, I saw the very end of Dirty Dancing today, the part where they're doing the last dance and the movie's reached a happy ending, blah blah blah. It made me think of other movies that I've seen in the past, that seem a lot different to me now that I'm an adult.

Take Labyrinth, for example--which has always been one of my favorite movies, and probably always will be. I used to watch that with my mom and my brother, so much that the three of us can probably recite every freaking line. :) Anyway, think back to the end of the movie, when Jareth says to Sarah, "I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave."

When I was a kid, that whole line passed by without much thought at all. In fact, sometimes it was 'oh, how romantic!' It was only after I'd had a few relationships as an adult that the line made me either a) snicker a whole lot, b) roll my eyes, or c) both. I did that in front of my mother once, and she shook her head at me. "I liked it better when you weren't so wise!" she said.

I have tons of movie moments like that from childhood. I'll re-watch something and catch some of the veiled innuendo that only the adults were supposed to get, or just *understand* a lot more of the movie's dynamics and things like that.

There's still one that I don't get, though, and maybe it's because I haven't seen the movie for awhile. There's a point during Pretty Woman (hey now, no rolling your eyes, you boys who are reading this, you know who you are) where Edward and Viv are talking, after Edward has told one of his friends that she's a hooker. They're out on the balcony, they're arguing, and Edward turns to Viv and says, "I have never treated you like a hooker." Then, he walks inside. As he's walking away, Viv says, "You just did."

I still don't get that.

Maybe I will, someday.

Bah. And...FUCK.

Bah

The results I got from this tells me two things. My political beliefs are still as mixed as ever, and they've actually changed substantially since the last time I took a test like this.

Here's the result:

1. Your ideal theoretical candidate. (100%)
2. Libertarian Candidate (66%)
3. Edwards, Senator John, NC - Democrat (48%)
4. Gephardt, Rep. Dick, MO - Democrat (47%)
5. Dean, Gov. Howard, VT - Democrat (46%)
6. Bush, President George W. - Republican (44%)
7. Kucinich, Rep. Dennis, OH - Democrat (42%)
8. Sharpton, Reverend Al - Democrat (38%)
9. Clark, Retired General Wesley K., AR - Democrat (34%)
10. Kerry, Senator John, MA - Democrat (34%)
11. LaRouche, Lyndon H. Jr. - Democrat (30%)
12. Lieberman, Senator Joe, CT - Democrat (29%)
13. Moseley-Braun, Former Senator Carol, IL - Democrat (24%)
14. Phillips, Howard - Constitution (22%)

Ain't that just grand? In theory, there's a libertarian candidate somewhere with whom I might agree 66 percent of the time, but we all know that it's unlikely that this theoretical libertarian probably won't win a presidential race. So, I'm stuck with either the freako Democrats, or the freako Republicans--with whom I might agree *LESS THAN HALF THE TIME*.

What's wrong with this picture?

Why should I have to choose between the lesser of two evils, when it comes to voting for a president? Am I the only one who runs into this problem? Sheesh.

FUCK!

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!

Long time readers of my livejournal will remember when I lost the stone out of my ring back in May of 2002.

Well, guess what?

In fidgeting a few minutes ago, I realized that IT HAPPENED AGAIN.

And, interestingly, it happened in about the same time frame--a year and five months or so after I got the damn thing, the stone popped out. And here we are about a year and five months after I got the thing back from the jeweler, and poof, there it went again.

Last time, I was just sick to my stomach about the whole thing. This time, I still have that, but I'm also really fucking pissed off. I have never, ever had such problems with jewelry before. Arrg.

Euphoria.

Is it just me, or does telling your diet/fitness program to go bugger off on a day that's other than your free day bring on a strange sense of euphoria?

I should clarify, I'm not *really* telling the diet to go bugger off, but over the next two days, it's going to be very difficult to stay on the program. So much so, in fact, that we're taking this week's free day tomorrow, so I really only have today to worry about.

Today, when we're having a potluck at work, that I've brought ice cream and home made caramel sauce to. Arg. My only hope is to just eat sparingly, which is possible, and will just take lots of willpower. I can do that. I hope.

But seriously. Everything has made me laugh this morning. A few things have just made me cackle insanely.

Like the sign-up sheet for today's potluck thingy, where one of my co-workers wrote that she is bringing in 'traditional evil green bean casserole.'

Like this email from a client, which opens by saying: My Exchange Server Ate It!!!!!!!!

Ah yes...life is good. :)

Freeeeeeeezing.

First off, yeah, I realize that I'm a weenie Californian now. But still. 39 degrees F in the morning is pretty chilly, especially when your coats are a) at work or b) in the trunk of the car.

But.

The chilly ride to work isn't the real pain in the ass.

I am at work right now. I am wearing a pair of fleecy pants that are usually too freaking hot to wear at any time of the year. I have a pair of thick socks on. I'm wearing a heavy, long sleeved shirt.

And yet. I was still really fucking cold.

So.

I put on my fleece jacket. And I draped the blanket over my legs. And I put on gloves, so I could fucking well type. Tell me that's not just absolutely ridiculous. But, now that I'm all bundled up, I'm finally warm!

Of course, I can't type worth a damn because of the gloves...

My husband is awesome.

I have been feeling like shit because of this cold, and I am *still* feeling like shit, thus we are going to stay home tonight (Scotty, if we'd decided this more than 45 minutes before the game started, I'd have called you about coming to get our tickets), but anyway. Yesterday, Brett mentioned that, since I was feeling like crap, he was going to make something special for me for our free day.

See, he's been watching this guy Alton Brown's show on the Food Network--and while I'll sit here and roll my eyes a lot, because it seems like he's gone a little bit fanboy on me, I'll also say that what he made today was really freaking cool, and really freaking delicious.

The recipe is here: Banana Splitsville

It's sort of like bananas foster, if you know what that is--which I don't, but that's what the guy on the show said. First, it involves melting sugar into caramel, stopping at 320 degrees to make 'doodads,' which really have to be seen to be understood. Imagine, though, an amber colored swirl of hard candy that's made solely of sugar.

So, you make these doodad things, then you heat the sugar up a bit more, add some cream, stir and let boil a bit, then take it off the heat, and voila, homemade caramel. (Which I hope to have some more of tonight, over ice cream, yummy.)

But that's not all, oh no.

Quarter a banana, peel on, heavily coat the exposed part of the banana in sugar, remove the peel, then use a small kitchen torch to essentially do the creme brulee thing on the top of the bananas.

Chill a plate, swirl the caramel over the bottom of it, stack four banana pieces lincoln log style, add a scoop of ice cream to the top, and put a doodad on *that*, and there you have it.

I have no qualms about saying that the caramel was the best part, but the whole thing was really damn delicious.

See? Awesome. :)

An open letter...

...to the women who work in this building.

Ladies:

I can only assume, by your refusal to flush the toilet here at work, that you live like absolute animals at home. Perhaps your families don't mind seeing urine, floaters, and/or kool-aid filled toilet bowls, and that's fine with me. However, since you've decided to take it on tour, I'd like to point out a few things.

1. It's fucking disgusting to walk into a stall and see urine, floaters, and/or kool-aid filled toilet bowls. I am not your mother. Flush the goddamn toilet.
2. It's also rather unhygenic, don't you think? Particularly if it's 'that time of the month' or you're leaving floaters in the bowl.
3. Let's not forget the stench of unflushed toilet that permeates both the entire bathroom and people's clothing alike, leaving them smelling like the foul bathroom even after they leave it.

Please have some common courtesy and flush the toilet. You might even want to linger for a moment to make sure that the flush works--it only takes a few seconds, but it will greatly improve the bathroom situation for all of us.

It will also keep you from having the shit beaten out of you whenever I find out who does this vile stuff.

Hugs'n'kisses,
Liz

Bah.

I had this entry typed up about how I'd finally seen Y Tu Mama Tambien, but it was erased with a careless keystroke, dammit.

So anyway. I saw the movie. Another one that was really surreal for me. Should've figured that it might be a bit, cough, *something* when I realized that it had a youth advisory sticker on it and it was unrated. I enjoyed it, but hot as much as other people may have, I think. It was okay. One of the other movies I rented the weekend before last was more enjoyable for me.

Taadaah. Not as in-depth as the last post was, but oh well.

Somebody explain this to me.

Because I sure as hell don't get it.

Malvo defense calls Muhammad, ex-wife to testify

So, Muhammad, the adult, has entered a plea of not guilty to the sniper killings. Malvo, on the other hand, has entered a plea of not guilty by reason of insanity. The kid's defense team is hoping to prove that Muhammad brainwashed him into doing what he did.

Explain this to me. How the fuck is Muhammad supposed to testify in Malvo's defense, if he's claimed that he didn't actually do any of it in the first place? Wouldn't he pretty much be incriminating himself if he took the stand here? 'Why yes, your honor, I brainwashed this boy into helping me to commit murders that I didn't actually commit.' Uh.

Freaky.

Suckage.

Today is going to suck muchly, oh yes.

Three of the six members on my team are out--two of them called in sick, one *called in her vacation* last Thursday (which she also took off), when the manager was out. How lovely. The fourth is late, and the fifth...well, let's just say that we all know who that one is.

Just fair warning, though. I am not going to be in a happy mood today.

Also. Those fucking housekeeping bitches threw away every last one of my empty water bottles, even though I had a sticky note next to them that said 'DO NOT THROW WATER BOTTLES AWAY.' The sticky note is also gone. Fuckers.

Duh.

Okay, you know what? No matter how you feel about all the stuff going on in Iraq--and please note, I am not asking for opinions here, I don't want a debate in my comments today--announcing the fact that there's a covert force hunting Hussein and bin Laden seems kind of stupid, don't you think?

Report: New Covert Force Hunts Saddam, Bin Laden (From Yahoo)

Rare, my ass.

Attorney reveals suspect's diagnosis

Last week, an 85-year-old man was arrested for killing his 86-year-old wife. Today, his attorney revealed that he's got Alzheimer's disease.

I'm not going to say much about this article, but I have one comment to make, about the statement at the end.

Some experts say it is rare for Alzheimer's patients to erupt into violence.

I worked in nursing homes for several years, and a good portion of that was in the lockdown unit where the Alzheimer's patients stayed. The reason for keeping in the lockdown was twofold: first, they were a flight risk--not in the traditional sense that a prisoner is a flight risk, but they were just simply absentminded enough to go wandering. Secondly, however, was for the protection of the other patients in the facility.

In my experience with Alzheimer's, it's actually *not* that rare for patients to erupt into violence. Some of them swing their fists or kick without realizing what they're doing. Some of them swing their fists out of sheer frustration--they're trying to communicate, they know it's not working, and they so they do what they know will work. As good at ducking as we got, it was never good enough, and not a day went by that someone didn't get hit or kicked.

Rare for them to erupt into violence, huh? Tell that to all the people who regularly worked that unit. The rare thing? For any of us to be unbruised.

All part of the job.

So surreal.

My friend Jeremy would be so proud--TiVo caught The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert off the Sundance channel sometime yesterday, so I sat down to watch it last night. I fear the thought of what TiVo is going to recommend next, though, I have to admit.

Anyway. Not a bad movie--but very very surreal in parts, maybe more because I see Hugo Weaving and I think Elrond, and I see Terence Stamp and I think Zod. I mean, Bernadette going from tearful about Trumpet to "KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!" in one's mind is kind of freaky, you know?

The costumes, though, were amazing, and I think the part that really made me cackle was them getting the aboriginal guy who caught them mid-rehearsal all dressed up.

So, yeah. Very surreal, but enjoyable.

Yay, DirecTV.

Update--Nanny.

Heard on the news this morning:

That nanny who hit those two kids in Danville? She was driving on a suspended license, which was already publicized. Also already publicized was the fact that she's had several DUIs in the past--probably the reason for the suspended license.

But get this.

The cops found cocaine in her car.

Naturally, they can't do any sort of blood test on her to see whether she tests positive for drugs, because they couldn't find her right away.

Hmmm. A *clue!*

Wonder if that's why she fled the scene. :P

Oh, good god.

Nanny thought fatally injured children were all right

If you're not familiar with this, last week, a woman--a *nanny*, who didn't have a drivers license (because it had been suspended--NINE TIMES)--hit and killed two children, aged 10 and 7. She left the scene, and proceeded to elude police for several days. They finally found her in San Jose last Tuesday.

I'm just stunned by this, though. From the article:

A nanny suspected of killing two Danville children in a hit-and-run accident Sunday, acknowledged that she was the driver who struck the two children, but said she thought the children would be OK when she left the scene.

Fucking christ, woman. You hit these kids with your car, why the hell would you think they'd be okay? Would *you* be okay if some asshat fucktard driver (who shouldn't have been driving in the first goddamn place) hit YOU?

The article goes on to say:

Barreto was arrested Tuesday in San Jose and said she did not believe the accident was a classic hit-and-run because she stopped to check on the welfare of the children and remained at the scene for about 15 minutes.

Oh. Good. Good, she stayed there for a whole fifteen minutes, and then left the scene IN A CAB. She didn't wait for the paramedics to arrive, she didn't wait for the police to arrive, she stayed there for about fifteen minutes, and then LEFT. God.

She went back to her apartment, but 'left when she saw a police officer.'

You know, having been in car accidents before, I know they can scramble your brain. I've never been involved in a pedestrian accident, but I can only imagine the thoughts that must have been going through this woman's mind. But running from the police? Not good.

She's been charged with two counts of vehicular manslaughter. That warms the cockles of my heart. I hope they don't give her the death penalty, though. I'd rather just see her rot in jail for the rest of her life, haunted by the thought of what she did to those two children, and to the lives of everyone who loved them.

Idiots.

You go, girls.

Girls pummel man who exposed himself

When Susanto tried to run, more than 20 girls chased him down the block. Two men from the neighborhood caught him and the girls took their revenge.

Note to self: Don't piss off the Catholic school girls.

Arrrg.

You know, I'd bang my head on my desk til I passed out if I wasn't worried about doing more damage to myself. But I swear to god, I have heard the phrase 'I don't understand' out of our development group more times than I really care to think about.

Today's example:

Client V wants to increase the resolution in their .pdf files. They don't like the way we present the graphs, they want to make things look a bit crisper, whatever.

Back in *August*, we sent mail to development asking about this. Client V said that, if we used a third party to create these files, then he'd like to know who that is, so that he can ask them himself. Dev told us that we do indeed use a third party library to create our .pdf files, and that they don't think that we can increase the resolution. No sign of *who* puts out the third party library we use, however.

A few more emails flew back and forth that really weren't pertinent to the issue at all, so finally, I sent email to development yesterday and asked the following:

[Name withheld to protect the guilty] mentioned in his email below that we use a third party library program to create the PDF output. The client would like to know who that third party is, so that they're able to pursue the quality issue that way.

The response?

Essentially, dev wanted to know if we've replicated the problem, if we've verified what the customer is telling us. Here's the key part: 'I know I really do not understand the problem.'

Yeah. This is the part where I beat my head on the desk. All they want is the name of whoever provided us the .pdf library we use. That's it. BAH. How fucking hard is that, people?

I swear to god, they do this because they know it makes my brain melt.

The best thing...

The best thing about this move to the new building is that I now have a large, lovely window to look out of--a window that faces outside, rather than into boring building. My desk is in the corner, so on the right, there is window, and on the left, there is wall (and a white board, but who's counting?).

Directly outside the window is parking lot, but not for too long--there's a stretch of grass between us and the street, and in that stretch of grass, there are several tall trees. The wind today causes the trees to move and, in the late afternoon sun, the movement of the leaves draws a pattern of dancing shadows across the wall.

When I look over, there is the piece of stained glass I bought while at Faire this season. It's a sea-and-landscape, with the hills in shades of purple and green, and the water below in a lovely varied piece that goes from pale blue to teal to dark blue. Above is an opaque white piece that has enough variation in color to look like clouds. With the sun shining through it, it truly does look like an afternoon on the water, looking toward land.

Sometimes, it's the simple things.

Suckful!

Suckful is the word of the day today. We're in our new building, and the office is great, but having to unpack all this shit? That's not so great. Add to that the fact that the movers managed to screw a few things up, and well...ugh. It'll take a few days to get the kinks out, I'm sure. Meanwhile, I'm in my new shared office, and the person I'm sharing it with isn't in yet. Therefore, all the crap that's in the office is all mine. If we end up with as much stuff in here as I think we might....well, let's just say that we'll have a rather festive office, that's for sure. But hey. Plants, woot!

However--goddammit. The wheel on my mouse isn't working anymore. Sigh. :)

Sigh.

As sad as this story is (Gun antics turn deadly for Concord 16-year-old)...well. Read:

The Concord resident died at John Muir Medical Center about 9 p.m. Wednesday after apparently firing one shot into his head at a friend's Antioch home, police said. Witnesses told police Christopher thought he was firing an empty chamber of a .357-caliber pistol.

Okay. One of the first couple of things Brett said to me when he was teaching me how to shoot was that you always always ALWAYS check to make sure that a gun is loaded when you pick it up. Even if you know it's unloaded, you *always* check.

Another thing he told me was that you never point a loaded gun at another human being, whether it's loaded or not. When you're at the range, always keep the barrel facing *down range*. When you're at home, you point it away from where anyone might be.

So, yes. Tragic and sad that a sixteen year old boy lost his life, but (horrible as this may sound), it sounds like it was his own fault.

The problem with this is that, once again, this is probably going to set off all the people in California (which seems to be most of them) who shriek and moan and wail about how evil guns are. It's not the child's fault, how could it be? It's the Evil Gun! We must Save Our Children and take everyone's guns away!

What? You're a responsible taxpayer who's taken safety classes in how to properly handle your firearm? Take it away!

What? You have a concealed carry permit for self defense, because you're worried someone might cause you physical harm? That doesn't matter, we don't care about you, we care about Our Children!

Arg.

It's funny, too--I didn't really care too much about this subject until I started dating Brett. It didn't matter--no one I knew owned a gun, and though there were rifles in the house where I grew up--*unlocked* rifles, with ammunition right there within my grasp--I was a responsible child, because I had a responsible parent. I'll also freely admit that there's a lot I still don't know.

I *do* know, however, that common sense is a good thing, and the lack of it can sometimes have fatal results.

You know you're a geek when...

You know you're a geek when you do something like this in your spare time.

Of course...you're probably also a geek when you snicker at it, like I did.

*snerk*

Today's amusing tidbits:

- We're moving to another building on Friday--the only building out of the five that used to make up this campus. And, strangely enough, the one we're moving into is still referred to as building 5.

Today, Nasser (my boss) was talking to Jole (my counterpart, the senior for the other half of our product) about moving an extra piece of furniture into the office that two of Jole's team are sharing. One of them interrupts, as he is wont to do, and starts pestering. "Is it a TV? Is it a TV? Is it gonna be a TV?"

At that point, Nasser turned to him and said, "You know what? Your review is coming up soon. Don't push me right now."

Ha. :)

- I just received an almost panicked email from one of the Verizon customer team folks, who I've worked with pretty extensively in the past. 'Hey, you changed your last name! I always look for your last name to find your boss if I need him. I couldn't find you, I thought the best support person I know in Vital was gone, it scared me. No need to call back, just wanted to make sure you were still here.'

Hahahahaha. Excellent. :)

Cue insane laughter.

Hahahahaha.

So, yesterday, my company announced that we had posted a profitable quarter. Yes, that's right, for the first time in thirteen quarters, we made money rather than lost it. Yep, folks, that's more than THREE YEARS of consistently *losing* money. And hey, it's a small profit, as these things go, but still, I wouldn't sneeze at $77 million.

Here's the crack-up, for me. Our stock has finally started to take a bit of an upward trend, and it's now hovering close (sort of) to three dollars a share. Last week, it was hovering closer to two.

So, woohoo, our stock is going up, right?

Except that every single one of my grants of stock are still amazingly far underwater. A couple of years ago, when the dot com bubble burst, and took telecom with it, and all the company's troubles were announced, we all got a grant of stock, with a strike price of around twelve dollars. 'Oh, it won't go any lower than that!' Ha!

But the worst one? The initial grant of stock I received upon being hired? The strike price of those shares is $76.

Yep. $76--where it will never go again. Ever.

Still sucks to be me. :)

She just asked *what*?

It's open enrollment time again for us again, yay health insurance.

My employer has contracted another company to handle our benefits, which they've done for the past several years--we all have logins, and have had logins since then.

Overheard today: "That password you use? To get into the benefits website? Is that the passworld you created for yourself?"

Er.

Um.

DUH.

Grr. .... Sigh.

Still in an absolutely evil mood. I haven't been in the mood to post here lately, either--I just feel like I don't have anything to say. That's not true, of course, there's a lot I could say, and I have a few essays I want to right, but now would not be a good time to do it. I'm just generally grumpy, and that escalates into really fucking pissed at the drop of a hat.

If this is PMS, dammit, I wish the monthly bill would just get here already. Jesus.

Oh man.

I feel so old right about now.

11-13 year old kids review video games released in the 70s and 80s.

If you grew up with games like Pong and Donkey Kong, you may get a kick out of this, but trust me, you *will* feel old.

Just going to reach over here for my walker...

So impressed!

My new phone got here yesterday, the day after I ordered it. I am so impressed. It's a neat little gadget, too. The screen saver is just the clock, but that it uses a screen saver at all just kills me. I have *wallpaper* for the damn thing. The default ringtones all suck (but the polyphonic thing is really cool!), so I'm trying to choose between the Winnie The Pooh theme song, and the Ride of the Valkyries, both of which I can download from AT&T's site. I downloaded a ton of them yesterday to listen, mostly because I just wanted to hear how they'd sound: Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic (tempting--Jeremy, you know why!), Losing My Religion, Take On Me, Come Monday, The Final Countdown...so, yeah. Fun with the new cellphone.

Tonight is the Sharks home opener--go Sharks! And, it's almost Friday, woohoo!

Aside to Kerroan: Yes, I did...mostly. One of my stupid cow-orkers threatened to make it a shitty day, because she was being an idiot (as usual), but I still managed. :)

Also.

Also, I have decided that I am going to have a good day today, dammit. Sometimes, it's all about the attitude. :)

New toys!

I spent about half an hour on the phone with AT&T Wireless yesterday, after Brett pointed me to a big sale they're having on phones. I've been wanting to upgrade my model for awhile, even though I probably don't get as much use out of it as a lot of people do. Anyway, the phone that he bought, and the other one that I was looking at, were both free after rebate, so I figured I'd put an order through. It kept trying to charge me for activation, though, and that annoyed me--I've had a service plan with AT&T Wireless for almost two years, why would I have to pay activation again?

Thus, I called the customer service line, and found that the free phones are only for new service--ah-ha, the catch! :) But, I was informed by Jessica, the first of two very pleasant and helpful reps I talked to, if I upgraded my phone and agreed to another two year service agreement, I could get a $50 rebate on the phone I wanted. She ended up transferring me to a woman named Laura, who explained all that stuff over to me again, and also let me know that my $50 mail-in rebate would completely cover the cost of the phone I wanted, the Nokia 3595. I should get it in the next couple of days.

The buttons are sort of funky looking, but there are lots of benefits: it's a 'next generation' phone, and it's got a sim chip in it that will move from phone to phone--no more having to call to get a phone activated (this is what I understand from what a guy from T-Mobile told us while we were in MA). It's also got polyphonic ring tones, and on Nokia's site, there's a list of ring tones available for download. This cracked my shit up--I can have Metallica's 'Enter Sandman' or 'For Whom The Bell Tolls' as a ringtone. Or, I could have Enya's 'May It Be' from the LOTR soundtrack as a ringtone--and I have to say, that one's mighty tempting. Or, and this one made me laugh my ass off, I could have 'Uncle Fucka' from South Park.

Can you imagine that? I'd be singing along every time my phone rang. I'd be making people call me, just so I could show it off. Hee. :)

In other new toy news...after Brett got us a renter's insurance policy, I put in an order on Monday for a DirecTV system. I talked to the office, they're going to waive our security deposit for that, which is really cool--but then, we've also lived there for two years as of November, so I guess they like us or something. :)

It's a dual receiver system; the main receiver also has TiVo built in, and there's a separate receiver that we'll put in the bedroom. I have no idea what sort of packages we can get, or what we'll end up deciding on...I guess, since the stuff was supposed to ship within 24 hours, we should figure that out. Hm. :)

Grr. Cranky.

I'm already cranky today because I'm quite quite sore (see Phoenix Rising blog for details, if you haven't already heard about it), so my temper is already on edge. There are also things that I might ordinarily be able to shrug off that just grate on me like there's no tomorrow.

- Every time one of my co-workers says, on the phone, "Hold on a moment," and then turns around to ask me a question--most often a question that I've either answered fifteen million times already, or something she should just plain know the answer to.

- Nosy co-workers, ones who noisily ask for more details, even when the conversation doesn't involve them in the slightest. Grr.

- Stupid office AC. It's fucking cold in here, just like always. That is very annoying.

I want a nap.

Food cravings.

Ever had one of those sudden, largely inexplicable food cravings, in which you can think about nothing else except the food you want, and how good that first bite would taste?

I don't get those often, but for some reason, today I just *really* want a sausage biscuit with cheese from McDonalds. No egg, just the biscuit, the sausage, and the cheese.

Yeah, okay...maybe I am a little hungry. :)

I voted. (Ow) And (ow)... RAAR. (Ow)

I was out of the office yesterday, because starting sometime Monday afternoon, I was dealing with the beginnings of a migraine--bad enough that I was wishing for sunglasses on the drive home from Applebees...at 10:30pm.

I did crawl out of the cave that was my apartment long enough to take myself to the polling place--and managed to end up there with Brett, which was completely unplanned. But...it sucked to go outside (ow, the daystar, it burns us), and I hurt, but I voted. Go me. Buh-bye, Davis. Good riddance. But, I'll give him this, at least: his concession speech was very gracious.

This morning upon my return to the office, I found a few things out of place...the origami swan was knocked off the shelf over the monitor, as was the black and red bug that Brett gave me (mind you, they're on opposite ends of the shelf), and the blown glass carousel horse I have up there was likewise tipped over.

I want to know who is fucking around with my stuff when I'm not here. Hello, fucktards, keep your hands off my shit. I don't think it's anyone in the fishbowl--I'd hope not, definitely--which leaves facilities, as they're basically the only other people who have access to this room. It's happened often enough that I'm awfully tempted to ask my soon to be office mates if we can lock the damn door when we leave at night. Grr.

Stop fucking with my stuff!

Before and after.

My ponytail is being sent to Locks of Love today--I filled out the form, measured the pony tail, and have to take it to the pos office. In spite of my earlier post to Livejournal, it wasn't actually 11 inches, it was more like 14. The to-be-donated ponytail itself is a foot long. It boggles the mind.

Anyway, just to give an idea of what it looked like before, and what it looks like now, for people who haven't seen it...

Before #1 -- This is a really horrible picture of me before the whale watch we went on out in Boston. It shows how long my hair is, probably one of the best to do it, since we didn't do any formal before/after pictures. (It was sort of a spur of the moment thing.)
Before #2 -- The ponytail. Brett took it more to show the Red Sox ponytail holder (thus the caption) rather than how long my hair was, but I still feel compelled to share it, because it's an interesting contrast to the next one.
After -- This is what it looks like, as of this morning. I took it in the mirror, so I disabled the flash, but that should still give a general idea. It's also grown a little bit since I first got it cut.

I'm not sure whether I'll grow it back outa gain or whether I'll maintain the short cut. I like them both, but the short hair is most certainly easier to deal with--it dries more quickly, at least! :)

Shut up, whiny snot!

Say, for the sake of argument, you're a radio DJ. Your kids are grown, but your co-host has two children, both of school age--maybe 14 and 12, something like that. Your co-host calls his kids every day, and occasionally, you put them on the air for a minute or two, because they're capable of being cute.

Today, however, when you decide that it's time for another cute segment...the girl is whining and sobbing about how she can't wear the shirt she wants to wear, because her mother has gone to work, and her brother can't tie it properly, and oh my god, the world as we know it is going to END because she can't wear her shirt! She proceeds to whine and cry, as only a teenaged girl can--you know, with the high-pitched voice that's like an eardrum-bursting drill, while also pulling the 'oh my god, you are SO STUPID' accent (with '-uh!' tacked onto the end of words: Daaaaaad-UH! You don't understaaaaaand-uh!).

Why oh why would you keep this whiny little brat on the air AT ALL, much less for FIFTEEN MINUTES? Are you trying to piss people off or what?

Arg.

Update: OH MY GOD! Why would you put her *back* on the fucking radio AGAIN in the next break? Time to find a new radio station. I like Greg Kihn and all, but I am not interested in listening to Chris Jackson's sprogs whine on the air.

Bummer.

I should remember not to get henna tattoos at Faire. They always turn out looking great, but the lemon/sugar water they tell you to dab on the paste really annoys me--a few hours later, and the damn thing is itching like crazy, plus it hurts like a sonofabitch to take off.

(Side note: Interestingly, the lemon/sugar water concoction is not mentioned in the aftercare instructions for a lot of people. I'm trying to find a good substitute.)

The tattoo I got this past weekend is great, but because I was going nearly batshit because of the itching, I pulled it off on our way to the hockey game. As such, part of it is already badly faded, which is really disappointing for me. Sigh. I'm contemplating whether to have them redo it this weekend, or to just deal with it until I'm ready to get a *real* one--a phoenix, of course. :)

Weekend in review.

Friday evening: Woohoo, fiiiinally Friday. This week lasted way longer than any week has a right to, or something. We went to see our friend Scott in one of his last performances of the musical Buddy at the San Jose Stage. It's a musical version of the Buddy Holly story, and Scott's name appears in the program god only knows how many times. :)

Friday's performance was the second time I'd been--I'd gone the Saturday before, as well. It's great to see him get so much stage time, and he plays some very distinct characters, which is really cool. The musical itself is great, and the rest of the cast is likewise awesome. The guy they have playing Buddy Holly's got a great voice. The kid who plays Ritchie Valens (and he IS a kid, he's 14) sometimes sings the national anthem at Sharks games, so I'm at least a little familiar with him. Much fun all around, and I think that Brett enjoyed it.

Saturday: We were almost an hour late meeting folks for Faire--sorry! It was just...one of those mornings, you know? But again, much fun was had--Jeremy and Leon were there, and I met Jason, known to everyone else there from NERO. Scott had purchased tickets in advance, so we bought those, and in we
went.

There was a lot of laughter and teasing, trying on silly hats and things. I tried to find my mom's cousins, but failed utterly--again. I'll try next weekend. There was a whole group of girls who started shrieking at the sight of the guy playing Sir Walter Raleigh, which immediately gave me a splitting headache and made me extremely cranky. We stopped by the Gypsy Soles booth, and eventually, I'll get another pair...but probably not this year. Maybe next year at Southern? Hm.

Saw Grace, the carved candle lady's booth. At some point, I *am* going to learn how to do that, dammit. I also saw several things I wanted to buy, but I was very good, and am either going to wait until next weekend (after payday), or do without. We'll see how well that works. ;)

Saturday night was our first hockey game of the season, a preseason game. We got there late, I managed to spill soda on the poor guy sitting in front of us, and the Sharks lost. They played a good game, though, and holy crap, Scott Parker--nice to have an enforcer around, I'll just say that. Nabby made some amazing stops, Marleau had a nice assist on Thornton's goal, and it was all good. So glad hockey's back again. :)

Sunday: I heard on Friday that the preview for Return of the King was going to be with Secondhand Lions starting this weekend. I'd seen the previews for it and mentioned that I wanted to see it--I'm a big fan of Robert Duvall and Michael Caine anyway.

The RotK trailer didn't disappoint. I spent two and a half minutes barely able to breathe, with HUGE goosebumps and practically crying. If the trailer was like that, god, I can't imagine what the movie itself is going to do to me. But seriously...watching Aragorn with Anduril, wow. And Eowyn. The abject grief on Eomer's face when...well, nevermind when, but my god. Can't wait til December.

Secondhand Lions also did not disappoint, I really enjoyed it. I won't say much, because I don't want to give away the plot--and I definitely do recommend it. It's more a boy's coming of age story than a chick flick, and it was really well done. There are a few moments which are pretty blatant (here, let me TUG those heartstrings), and it's a little predictable in a place or two, but still VERY good, very worth seeing. As Brett said, not something that I'm disappointed at seeing in the theater.

After we got home Sunday, we watched Identity. I bought it several months ago and just now got around to seeing it. That's yet another movie that I really don't want to give anything away for--and to say just about anything about it would be really giving the whole plot away, which I definitely don't want to do. I'll just say that it's an excellent psychological thriller--not really much in the horror vein. Very good. John Cusack, Ray Liotta, and Amanda Peet are wonderful, and Clea DuVall is likewise great. I look forward to watching it again, so I can pick up on some of the things I missed before--things that I'll be able to pick up on things more easily now that I know how it ends.

And...that was the weekend. Busier than I thought it was going to be, but nice. Yay, good weekend stuff. And it sounds like we're off to Faire again this upcoming weekend, since there are things we wanted to buy but didn't.

However...

Must go see Secondhand Lions this weekend. I want to see it anyway, but it's also a New Line film...and they've got the Return of the King preview.

Preview, Whale Watch

I have a ton of pictures to sort through and get posted, but since people keep asking for these, here are four of the pictures that I took while out on the whale watch while we were in Boston:

One
Two
Three
Four

Enjoy!

Delayed grumbling.

Okay, so I probably should have posted this on Friday when it actually happened, but by the time I got home, I was so happy to just BE home that I couldn't really do anything else.

I went to lunch on Thursday with Melissa and Jeremy, to a place at Santana Row that I'd never been before. I won't even try to spell it, but I will say that it was absolutely amazing, and I'm looking forward to being able to go back. I wonder if they take to go orders. Oh, the danger.

But, because I went to lunch on Thursday, and spent a wonderfully enjoyable two hours, I didn't go to the social security office, nor did I go up to the college to buy books. So, I did that on Friday.

I swear to god...I was the only caucasian person in the social security office that day. There are five service windows in the place, but only one of them is dedicated to people who need new or updated cards. Outside the door is one of those take a number dealies (and some guy behind me didn't pull quite right, and yanked fifty numbers out of the thing), but (someone please explain this to me) after you choose a number and go *inside*, there's a plaque on the wall which tells people wanting new/updated cards not to take a number but to go to line five.

Yeah.

So, there are these four other windows that could be used, but they don't bother. Only one of them is open, and catering to the elderly folks who are there to pick up their checks or something--and there are another couple of people who apparently have appointments. Still, I am the only white person there. There are three families who've brought their unruly brats--which I say only because they were shrieking at the tops of their lungs, running around the small office. Sigh.

While in line, I heard the very patient, one-armed man explain the following: 'We cannot accept photocopies of marriage certificates.' 'You need to take a number to speak to someone about your checks, I can't help you.' 'She is a tourist. We do not issue numbers to tourists. (arguing from person in line) No, I am sorry, she is a *tourist*. We do not issue numbers to tourists. (more arguing) She has a visitor visa. We can't give her a number. (still more arguing) NO. She is a TOURIST. She cannot have a number. Next in line, please.' 'We cannot accept photocopies of marriage certificates. You need a notarized copy.' (Yes, again.)

It took me five minutes, once I finally got up there. Arg.

On to the college, where they've closed off a HUGE portion of the student parking area for god only knows what reason. Thank god my class this quarter isn't on campus. But holy crap, over $100 for four books for one single class. Oh, and even better, the syllabus mentions a book that the bookstore doesn't, so I have to go BACK. That or find the damn thing on Amazon or something. Arrrg.

But. I'm ready for classes.

And...scarily enough, I'm actually reasonably glad to be back at work. We'll see how long that lasts.

Grumbling.

Okay. Sometimes, I can deal with this NERO thing. I mean, I have to, right? I'm the only NERO widow left, though, since I think everyone else has been sucked into it.

And sure, it's probably just crappy scheduling somewhere in there, but being left alone for the weekend two days after we get home from vacation?

Not fun.

Usually, I really enjoy the time alone, because it gives me a chance to just...be alone, which is, well, sometimes really helpful for me.

Right now, though? I just feel lonely...and disgruntled enough that I don't really want to find company.

Sigh. :P

Wedding wrap-up.

Yep, we're home. Had a wonderful vacation, but I'm SO glad to be back home, sleeping in my own bed, with my car downstairs, and...yeah.

So, I figured I should write up a summary of the week of the wedding. If you're not interested, don't read. :) Pictures will be forthcoming later on!

'At least one thing will go wrong, I'm sure.' This is the advice that I kept giving myself in the days before my wedding, though I'm not sure I realized just how true those words would be. 'No matter what happens, the end result will be the same--I'll be wearing that ring on my finger.' Well. True enough. Still, here's the wrap-up, just because, starting with the beginning of the week.

Tuesday: Though I'd thought Tuesday would be a day I'd have to myself, it didn't really turn out that way. It started early for me, I had to make a run to the florist, then to Michael's and Costco, and *then*, I had to go back out to shop for the reception with Mark. We talked about logistics and various things, and once we were finally back and had all the food stored in the rental apartment that Brett's parents were sharing, it was time for Matt to come help me clean. I am still just beyond grateful for his help, he got the kitchen looking just absolutely marvelous. We watched Boy Meets Boy, cheered when James chose Wes, and then waited for Brett's parents to arrive, which they finally did, sometime after 11. After they got here, I fell into bed, where I promptly ended up staying awake for ages, with the list of things we had still to do running through my head.

Wednesday: I actually ended up with a lot of time to myself, mostly because everyone was figuring I was already busy enough, I think. My dress didn't arrive Wednesday, though I was told on Sunday that it would, so I was trying not to panic about that. I went to Watercourse Way, spent an hour in the hot tub, and got a lovely facial--incredibly relaxing, very nice. I thought I'd be coming home and going to bed, but Brett was off to his bachelor party, and I went out to dinner with his parents, instead--which was really very nice. Came home, went to bed, same restless sleep for the second night in a row. Arrg. :)

Thursday: The airport day. I also had to deliver ribbon to the cake lady, but got to see the top two layers--which looked just absolutely stunning. I left the ribbon in her capable hands, and was really looking forward to see how the cake turned out. Brett and I went out to breakfast with my mom and her boyfriend Matt (who will be known as Matt-North for the rest of this post, for reasons that will shortly become apparent) and by the time that was all said and done, it was time to go to the airport to pick up Andrea, my maid of honor. Once we were all back home again, Andrea tried on her stuff, and I tried on mine--once more, we had sizing issues. Her overskirt and bodice were a little bit too big (but done extremely well, considering that all Hallie had to work with were measurements!), and my underskirt was too small. *And*, once again, the sleeves were bad. Sigh. :) All that caused some panic on my end, until we got ahold of the person who'd actually made my dress, whereupon he gave us advice on how to fix it.

The rehearsal happened shortly thereafter, and was quite a bit shorter than I thought it was going to be. I thought we might run through it more than once, but all she had us do was walk down the 'aisle', and recite a bit of the vows. Firmed up the time at which we were all supposed to meet, and that was it. I gave everyone's gifts at that point: Andrea's jewelry box with her necklace and bracelet, and the mothers both got Irish linen handkerchiefs with a necklace and bracelet, as well. My mom cried, reading the poem included in the plastic hanky box. Matt-South, who'd helped me clean on Tuesday (and the reason for the designations) showed up then, and was the lifeline that he'd been for several days previous. We all agreed to adjourn and meet at 6:30 at the apartment where Brett's folks were staying, for the formal dinner. Reverend Karen didn't hang around, but we did clear up the time at which she was supposed to be there--she thought it was 3pm rather than 12:30, eek!

Matt-South and I went to Costco to get flowers, and it was almost entirely painless, yay. Sat by the pool with my mom, Brett's mom, Andrea, and Devin (Brett's middle brother) for a little while, before Mom and I went to go pick up Jeremy (my brother, henceforth known as Jeremy-TB--the brother) from the airport. When we got back, allllll my family came over: Leslie and her partner Chris, Leslie's godmother Sue, Andrea, and Teri (another aunt), along with Matt-North--and, at that point, we all trucked on over for the dinner. It was pretty high comedy, I have to say (a lot of things were, over the past few days): by the time that contingent arrived, Andrea and Sue had already had quite a bit to drink. Finally, we got them all herded over to the other apartment, where introductions and much loud chatter ensued. Andrea and I were not there for very long, but were there for long enough for me to open the gift that my aunt Teri had with her--a handmade quilt that's just...well. Just stunning. I'll post pictures.

At 8, Matt-South, Andrea, and I went back over to our apartment, as Hallie was going to fix the dresses. By the time Hallie got there, Sue, Leslie, Chris, and Teri had migrated our way, followed shortly by Jeremy-TB, my mom, and Matt-North. I think we may have overwhelmed the Cashmans a little bit. I forget how loud my family can get.

Hallie worked some amazing magic on my underskirt (the sleeves will get done later) and Andrea's dress--by the time she was finished, the underskirt fit perfectly, and Andrea's bodice and overskirt likewise were perfect fits. Andrea looked absolutely beautiful, as I figured she would. Matt-South left, but not after some very profuse thank-yous on my part--he really was my sanity more often than he probably knew. Jeremy and Clay came by for a very low key bachlorette party; they'd gone to Target and picked up things they said reminded them of me: ring pops, gummi sharks, lucky charms, and candy necklaces/bracelets. Andrea ended up with a blue raspberry ring pop that, by the end of the night, had totally turned her mouth and teeth a very dark blue. Much fun was had, and I turned into a pumpkin pretty early.

Friday: 5am, the alarm goes off. Shortly thereafter, Mark arrived, and we put meat in three separate ovens around the complex. He went off to get some sleep, and I tried to get a little bit of napping time in, but it didn't do me a whole lot of good. Initially, the plan was going to be that I'd go up to the site sometime around 8:30am, so that I could figure out how I wanted to lay things out, and give people instructions accordingly. It didn't end up working out like that, however. By the time I got the car loaded with soda and a few other things from the apartment that Brett's folks were staying in, and swung by the apartment where my family was staying, it was 9:00am--and, Brett called, saying that Brenda (the braider) was already at the apartment. This freaked me out, she was initially supposed to come at 10, but after a brief moment of panic, my mom sorted everything out: she, Matt, and Jeremy-TB would go to the site and get everything started, while Andrea and I went to go get braided, and they'd come get me at noon. It would mean that I wouldn't see the site, but ah well. I called Jeremy to let him know about the change of plan, and just dealt with it.

Being braided was awesome. She did Andrea's hair first, more so that I could calm down than anything, and it was just amazing, watching the intricate stuff she did with all that hair. From the nape of her neck upwards, there was a braid that had to have 11 or more strands in it, it was that complex, but it looked freaking cool. As it turns out, it was good that Brenda was early, because I have so much hair, and all the stuff she did with it ended up taking her much more time than I'd originally thought. It looked just amazing by the time she was done, though--just absolutely amazing.

The less said about the whole food thing, the better, I think. Let's just say that the time between when Brenda left and when we finally got on the road was the most stressful part of the whole damn day. Bad planning, somewhere in there--why five people ended up scattered across three different apartments picking up food, well...I think that happened more because I never said 'hey, at 11:30, some two or three people need to come back to the apartment to help us.' Note to self: details matter. ;) The cap of that hour and a half of hell was me slamming the pinky finger of my right hand in the trunk of my car, which sent my body into immediate shutdown. Ouchie.

Finally, we got to the site, though I have no idea how late I was. Several people swarmed the cars to empty out all the food, and Jeremy and Andrea helped me get dressed, while Leon took pictures, agh. :) Someone brought the bouquet to me, and it was just amazingly beautiful. Bouttonieres were distributed, as were hand corsages, and everyone looked just stunning. While I greeted a few people and apologized for being late, others were commandeered to make an altar for the unity candle--I was supposed to bring a TV tray for it, but utterly forgot. I also forgot my something new, an amber pendant that Jeremy and Leon gave me for my birthday--arrrrgh. It would've looked so perfect with the dress.

Once the altar was done, the aisle runner was pulled out, and finally, the ushers (Brett's brothers and Matt-South) and the best man (Graham) seated the family members for whom we had chairs, and everyone else started lining up. I don't know whether it was by accident or by design, and whether my perception of it is skewed, but there seemed to be fewer people on the groom's side of the crowd.

Rev. Karen and Brett walked down to the arch and makeshift altar, and Graham and Andrea soon followed. Next up: Matt-North and I. He took half a step forward and I didn't move at first, but after one deep, centering breath...off we went. I wish I could remember what he said to make me laugh as we were walking down the aisle. I kept looking into the assembled guests and seeing people I hadn't greeted, so I tried to make eye contact with them, in between peeks down the aisle toward Brett, standing there at the end. Graham, Andrea, and Rev. Karen were there, but...I didn't see them. Next thing I knew, Matt-North was giving me away, I was handing my bouquet over to Andrea, and putting my hands in Brett's.

The ceremony opened with a poem: http://andreloveskarla.s5.com/peom.htm, and even from the first words out of her mouth, I was already crying. Brett kept poking my fingers to get me to smile, and it worked, but never for very long at a stretch. Once the poem was finished, the tears stopped running quite so freely, but my eyes weren't completely dry again until the end. We said 'I do,' and tried to light the unity candle, just as the breeze kicked in--high comedy, trust me. Graham was trying to light the tapers, and we couldn't get them lit. Finally, we held the tapers over the pillar and got all three of them to light for a second or two, but not without much laughter and cat calling (all good natured, of course) from the guests.

Rev. Karen read a lovely piece to our families: today, your family gains a son/daughter--take him/her into your heart and love them as you would your own child, brother, or sister. I wish I could remember the exact wording, it was beautiful. It was addressed to one family at a time, though, and as she was speaking to my family, my mom gave Brett a double thumbs-up. Richard (his dad) did the same, when Rev. Karen was speaking to them, and that made me laugh.

Sharing the rings also brought a note of comedy--because of the heat and humidity outside, our fingers were swollen, so getting the rings on the fingers was amusing, but still...wow. Just wow. We shared our first kiss as husband and wife, and walked back down the aisle together--not without making the officiant cry, as well. The ceremony itself was simple and heartfelt, I think, and everyone who was there has had lovely things to say about it, which makes me happy. No bubbles for us as we walked down the aisle, but we did get some as we walked back toward the tables.

Cue the reception: much good food and a fun party, with so much time spent on my feet that I think they're still revolting, even several days later. But Dave and Balaji (from work) were there, which made me really happy. Auntie Marilyn and Uncle Rudy were there, as was my cousin Sandy, and they had lots of pictures to share. Rudy showed me a picture of Lynn and Rory, who are big in the Renaissance Faire out here, so that I could spot them next time we go. Some of Brett's family: Uncle Tim and Aunt Marian, and Arthur (a cousin). A good number of our friends: Melissa and Chris (who picked up the flowers, yay!), Helene and Scott, Francesca, Zjonni (who heard about it only a few days before--I'm so thrilled he was there), Hallie and Charles, TC, Debbie and Rhonda (friends of my mom, who are also friends of mine), Brandie, Sara and Andrew...I'm sure I'm forgetting people, but wow. It was truly awesome to have everyone there, it made my afternoon.

Graham's best man speech was truly something to behold, as well. He got in a few sharp but very good-natured digs, and also said some really lovely things. Funny that his friends are jealous of the time he spends with me, when I have likewise sometimes been jealous of the time he spends with them.

The cake looked just incredible, and tasted delicious! I will most definitely buy from Erika the next time I need a cake for any sort of event, it just looked...wow. We have tons of pictures of the cake, given how many people asked for it: Kathy, the ribbon lady; Arlette, the florist, and of course, Erika herself. I'll also probably send one to Fellowship Foundry, too, so they can see what we did with their cake topper.

The clean-up, when it was done, was quick and painless, and I barely had to do anything. The whole event was like that, all I really did was show up, which speaks to how wonderful our friends and family are. A good time seemed to be had by all, and in spite of those couple of hours where I was stressed and upset...it truly was the best day of my life. I can't wait for all the rest--and I can't find words to describe how much it thrills me to see that ring on my finger...almost as much as it thrills me to see it on his.

Okay, just one picture...

Ha ha, fooled you.

Or something.

The dress will be here tomorrow by 10:30, says Pendragon.

Hope it fits.

Fortunately, however, everything else is done, including the remainder of the ribbon for the cake, which I'll take to Erika tomorrow, and the ivy that I got from eBay to put at various places on the site.

Soon...soon, I will have more than wedding stuff to talk about. :)

Wednesday.

So, even though we said that we needed to have the dress by Labor Day, no exceptions, it turns out that I actually won't get it til Wednesday. I drove down to Casa de Renfaire today to pick up the corset and try on the jacket lining--and it's actually probably for the best that he didn't have the whole thing made, since the jacket's measurements need to be tweaked a little bit. He's going to finish it Tuesday and overnight it to me, and hopefully, that'll be that. If not, well, he's got a day and a half to fix it. Yeah...not exactly fun, huh?

The corset, though, is done and in my possession. The navy blue fabric that I chose looks absolutely gorgeous. I can't wait to see the rest.

Yeah, I'll share pictures as soon as I get them. I just hope that Brett's mom won't be too freaked out that I'll need her to lace up the corset... :)

Observations.

On Thursday, I went out at lunch to buy an aisle runner to set up on the volleyball court at the wedding site--we're not having chairs, but we want to have some sort of aisle to walk down.

While I was in line--the *long* line, surprisingly so for a Thursday afternoon--I got to talking to a woman in front of me, who greeted my reply of 'we're not planning on having kids' with a poleaxed look. What is it about marriage that automatically means children? That's not the case, not for a lot of people I know.

And *then*, when I was checking out, the girl behind the counter asked me, "Is this for a friend?" When I said, rather mildly, that it was for me, I got another one of those strange looks. You know the type, the 'YOU'RE getting married?!?' looks. What, fat girls can't get married? People who don't fit the blond, ultra-thin, drop-dead gorgeous mold aren't allowed to fall in love, get married, and be happy?

I'm still not really sure which of those irritated me more.

Time to go yet?

I have a couple of essay things pending, that I may actually get posted before the big vacation starts on the 8th, but for right now, I have a couple of observations.

- Why is it that the day goes soooo slooooowly on days like today? I mean, it's only my last day at work for three weeks... :)

- Why is it that there was email waiting for me from our most demanding, most clingy customer this morning? I'm going to end up spending my entire day babysitting this. Arrg. But if these guys think that I'm giving them my cell phone number while I'm gone? You know, I had a graphic sort of suggestion here that I think I'll just not put in. Never mind. Just think of something suitably nasty all on your own. :)

---

Update: But it's payday!

Think! Before you bug me!

Okay, so, we've spent the better part of at least two years, probably three years, beating the 'please document your fucking tickets' concept into a couple of people's heads, and it's worked, for the most part, with every person save one.

I continually tell her to put better information into her tickets, but it never happens. And now, she's out of the office, and I've been asked to look over her stuff before I go on my own vacation. The whole documentation thing is biting me in the ass here--in some of these tickets, there is just *nothing* to go on. 'Dial in and download files for troubleshoot.' Okay, but, um, what files? WHAT FILES? What the hell are you looking at here? Unfortunately, there are a few like that, and all of those? They're so old that contacting the client now would just kill me. I don't need more tickets less than a day and a half before I leave for three weeks.

Cripes.

Is it time for vacation yet?

Hee!

*phone rings*

"Vitalnet support, this is Liz."

"Hi, Elizabeth, this is Colin calling from the San Jose Sharks. I was just calling to let you know about our 10-game Shark Pack of tickets for this season."

"Oh, er, I'm a season ticket holder, but thanks!"

"Oh. Uh, well, thanks, and hopefully we'll see you at a few games this season."

I'm just too amused by this. :)

Arrrrrgh!

Yeah, that would be the primal scream of frustration.

That would be me, irritated at development, who persists in asking 'is this a large customer?' when contracts mean exactly jack shit to us (what, is this one of the questions we have to ask when troubleshooting now?), and when every client problem *should* be treated as something that could potentially happen to everyone. Granted, we do see a lot of corner cases, but that doesn't necessarily mean that one client's problem isn't *ever* going to be experienced by another client. That's just stupid.

That would be me, frustrated beyond belief at the lack of comprehension from people in building five. I don't get it. Does my email somehow just completely mangle itself as it moves between buildings? Does my voice mutate over the phone lines until I sound like some demented devil telling people to kill their children, drink their blood, and sacrifice their bodies to some nameless deity? No? Then someone please tell me why I say something simple like 'No, THAT is not the problem, THIS is the problem,' and it still ends up misunderstood? I've explained two separate situations to two separate engineers FOUR DIFFERENT TIMES. And they're STILL not getting it. *AND*, they're on my case about not giving them status updates to the questions they've asked, even though I repeatedly point out that the questions they've asked are completely unrelated to the problem.

I mean, when they can't tell me why they want a piece of information, or can't tell me how that piece of information relates to the problem? Somehow, I don't think I'm the issue here.

So looking forward to vacation. So do not want to attend the bug meeting today, because I know how pissed off it will make me.

I swear, one of these days, one of these assholes is going to make a felon out of me.

Raar.

:)

Disjointed.

I keep meaning to make a post, to find something, *anything* to write about, but I always end up without anything to say. I'm sure most people who read this don't care much about wedding plans, and I feel like I talk about that way too much anyway...

Work is work. Looking forward to vacation, even with all it means.

In other words...life goes on as normal. That's actually a good thing, I think.

Sad, though, how I feel like I have to make a post to say that I don't really feel like I have anything to say. :)

So much for virtue!

Bah, so much for virtue, seriously. I'm sitting here at work, just starting to follow up on some of my tickets, and close others (two so far today, woohoo), when my email stops responding.

And it's only THEN that I remember the email from the network folks--they're doing maintenance on our mail server this weekend.

#@)!(^&)!*&

So, now, I'm leaving voicemail for a few clients, making a list of the ones I have to follow up with, and after that? Well, I guess I'll be off today. So much for my grand plans of really banging through my open tickets this weekend. Ah well. :)

And on another just absolutely unrelated note, can anyone in the area recommend a salon where I might get my eyebrows waxed? (See? Told you it was unrelated.)

Raar.

You know, I find it supremely annoying when one of my co-workers starts talking smack about his wife. Leaving aside the whole sexist thing, *and* the whole sweeping generalization thing (oh, she's 'just a woman')...

I just sit here and listen the way he says the words 'my wife.' He never says it with any sort of love or affection at all, he always sneers it. I mean, I can hear the disgust in his expression. Why get married in the first place?

That's just representative of how he generally talks about her, and it's really disturbing. Even worse is that most of the boys over there all needle him about it, which prompts him to blow his stack that much more often.

I don't even know the woman, and I feel bad for her. If he's like this to her face? It's a wonder she doesn't kick his ass out. But, then again, it could just be a culture thing, and she may be happy with him in spite of/because of that.

Sigh. :)

Okay, so...

It's a crappy picture, but if you want to see what the rings look like... click this link.

:)

Monday blues.

So, this morning, I went to a new dentist. I thought it would be something easy--the temporary crown I have on the lower right side is loose, can you please replace it today, I'm getting married in a few weeks and I really don't want it to pop off while I'm gone. Simple, right?

But no. Instead, as for all new patients, it's a full exam and full set of x-rays, even though they already had the full set of x-rays from my original dentist. Those were deemed too old to use.

So, he poked and prodded and looked at the x-rays, and actually, except for the two problems that Dr. Hanson didn't fix, there's nothing wrong with my mouth. Yay. Unfortunately, the two problems that Dr. Hanson didn't fix involve a permanent crown for the tooth that's got a temporary, and another crown for a tooth I have yet to get the root canal done for. Owie, those are expensive.

The dentist works out a treatment plan with me, all that good stuff, all's well. Mind you, even though I asked, he doesn't replace the temporary crown. Monday Issue Number One.

Then comes the finance lady. In spite of the fact that I have dental insurance, they're going to require that I make payment in full up front, to the tune of about $4750. No, they can't bill my insurance first, and no, I can't make payments. One lump sum before any work is done. Monday Issue Number Two.

So, the dentist gave me a referral to an endo to get the last of the root canals done. I called the endo to make an appointment, and--hey, guess what, they won't bill the insurance first, either. They'll be happy to take my payment in full, and have the insurance send *me* a check, but they will not see me without a payment, which ranges anywhere from $950 to $1150. Monday Issue Number Three.

Just as I'm getting ready to rant about this here--I mean, come on, I have insurance, what the fuck is up with a) the 'let's assream the patient for every bit of money we possibly can,' and b) what the fuck is up with the 'your total for treatment will be $4750, would you like to pay for that with credit card, or a check?' I don't get that--Jole (a co-worker) comes up to me and informs me that, distracted while waving to another co-worker who was leaving, he has backed into my car. Monday Issue Number Four.

Damage? Minimal, seriously. Maybe a two inch bit of the bumper on the back right that's scuffed. Maybe not even worth painting over, unless he's scraped to the metal, and don't these Camrys have plastic bumpers anyway? But seriously, holy crap. Is the universe against me today?

I think it's time to go home with some chocolate ice cream, a movie, and a book that's going to make me all weepy, just so I can get it out of my damn system, already.

Hi ho, hi ho...

(Anyone else borrow library books that taught how to program BASIC? And one of the things you could make was this big X that was made out of HI HO? Oy.)

So, it is almost 3pm, and I have been at work for about two hours so far. And why am I at work on Sunday? Well, that'd be because I've got 70 open cases right now, and two weeks before I go on vacation (so I want to at least touch them all, and provide a running spreadsheet with the most current status), plus ticket reviews that I was *supposed* to do Friday, but my body said 'whee, let's raise the temperature!' Plus, it's actually really nice to come in here on a weekend when it's quiet, and all the people who ask stupid questions aren't here to ask those stupid questions to distract me, as they are almost every other day. (And no, if you're reading this, then I'm almost certainly not talking about you. :)

I'm actually kind of pleased, because I'm not as behind as I thought.

But, random note. First off, it's really creepy when you're *in the bathroom* and someone reaches in a hand to flick off the light. ARG.

It's also great for the adrenaline when one of the maintenance guys, who doesn't anticipate anyone else being here, walks into the fishbowl to see why the lights are still on, spots you, and screams--which makes *you* scream. On the amusing side, you still can't determine who screamed louder.

Oh! Just a side note. Mad props to Mark and Graham, who are both just too awesome for words. Woo.

Thursday morning annoyances.

Two things that have annoyed me this morning:

1. One of the DJs I heard on the radio this morning, saying very disdainfully that Scott Peterson's defense team was "*reaaaaaaaaaaaally* grasping at straws." Okay, you know what? Maybe he did kill his wife, I wouldn't be surprised to hear it, but he's not on trial yet, now is he? Whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty? Jesus.

2. Freaking morons who go to a 7-11, where the sign on the door says how the cashier doesn't have more than $50 in cash, and still drop a one hundred dollar bill on the counter to pay for their two dollar coffee and a donut. You want someone to give you change for your $100? Go to a fucking grocery store. Don't stand there *in front of me* and proceed to piss, whine, and moan to the cashier for a full five minutes, making me late to work when, hello, the sign says he doesn't have that much cash (why would you argue something like that anyway), and he has the right to refuse you service. Which he's doing. So get the hell out of my way, because you're standing in the way of me and my caffeine.

Arg. :)

Under redundant it says...see redundant.

Disclaimer: I am totally not casting stones here. I have a big butt, I know that. But my mind does strange things to me sometimes.

Today, I have a Togo's sandwich for lunch. Yeah, those of you who know me know which one it is, too. But wow, one of the girls behind the counter...

She was standing with her back to me, and all of a sudden, all I could see was her backside, wearing those store uniform, cream colored polyester pants that look shitty on everyone, and the mother of all backside camel toes--pants were tight enough to see the panty line, you see, and oh my god, the panties were a'creepin.

The only thing I could think, after seeing this, was, "My god, that girl has a big-ass ass."

And then, my brain dissected that thought, and I felt like an idiot--all my powers of vocabulary had failed me. Big-ass ass. Sheesh.

And *then*, I had another thought:

I am SO going to hell.

Grow up, Davis.

Normally, I don't post about politics, for a lot of reasons. I'm a very anti-conflict oriented sort of person--if it's going to cause arguments and strife, I don't want to be a part of it. Thus, if you flame me in comments, I'm going to have to hurt you. I'm only expressing an opinion, and an admittedly not-very-informed one. Okay? :)

So why, do you ask, am I posting this one? Well, I'll tell you.

I, for one, am really pissed off that this recall is happening in the first place. Not because I don't think that Davis is a shitty governor, but because it's costing me money. It's making my formerly cheap college education, one of the biggest benefits to staying in the state of California, not so cheap anymore. It's making my car registration triple--and man, is that ass-reaming going to hurt come January when I have to register a car that will just barely be a year old.

But, the recall is a reality. There were more than enough signatures on the initiative to pass it--rather overwhelmingly so. That's democracy in action, if you ask me. If people are allowed to realize that they made a really serious mistake, and they're allowed to take measures to *fix* that mistake, that's a good thing, isn't it? That's one of the things that sets the US apart from other countries, I thought.

Why, then, are there democrats (like the Democratic presidential hopefuls) who are saying that this is an attack on the very fundamentals of our government? Why, then, does Davis say shit like this: Davis, a Democrat, called the recall ``an insult to the 8 million people who went to the polls last November and made a decision that I should be governor" (source: this article from the Mercury News).

An insult to the people who voted last November. Hm. I don't think so. Some policy-maker somewhere must have recognized the need for a recall type of situation. How is this an insult, if people are exercising a right given to them by the government in the first place? (No, not getting into a 'the government is too big/too small' thing right now!) How is this an attack on the fundamentals of our government?

Bah. Grow up, asshats. Go away, Davis. You've whined so much about this that I'm going to turn up at the polls on October 7th and put in my vote to kick your ass out of office, just so that I don't have to listen to the bullshit anymore. Who'm I going to vote for? Who cares. Anyone but you.

Hee!

Our rings came today! They're gorgeous, I think--not quite the exact same thing that we saw at the booth, but they'll definitely do.

All that's left is the dress. :)

Back!

We sort of fell off the net there for a little while--and though it's not really a long and sordid story, let's just say that we're now sporting a new DSL provider (who won't prohibit us from running a server), and the DNS changes have started to filter through. Yay! We're back now.

Now, I have to remember all the stuff that I wanted to post about during the outage. I could've posted, we had local access, but... :)

Age.

So, because I'm planning this wedding, I'm taking advantage of some of the wedding planning resources out there. One of those is a community of people, who post about various topics, ask general questions, stuff like that. A requirement for joining this community is that you post an introduction. It goes in spurts--sometimes, there won't be anyone new for a week, but sometimes there'll be three or four a day.

I'm noticing two trends here.

1. All of these brides are so *young*. I mean, seriously. 19-21, most of them, with a few that are older than that. It just seems weird, and you know, I went down that road myself, and...well. My experiences won't teach anyone, I know that. I just have to sit back here and shake my head. Yikes.

2. Most of these girls, usually the really young ones, have known their husbands to be for less than a year--some of them just a few months, in some cases. It's extremely rare that you get someone on there who's dated for as long as Brett and I have done. Again, not saying what's right or wrong, it's just an observation, and something that I know isn't for me.

It does make me wonder, though...is this where the concept of a 'starter marriage' came from?

Visitation.

Because I asked her to, my mom is flying in tomorrow to help me with some of the wedding stuff--initially, she was going to come out to help me make favors, but it's turned into a 'see the site,' 'make favors,' 'visit florist,' 'visit baker,' 'find a dress at Faire' trip...a far cry from just wrapping bubbles in tulle. (Weird, my keyboard started totally freaking out there, I walked away for 5 minutes to find batteries--because I thought that was the problem--and now it's behaving fine. It hates me.)

Regardless, I like spending time with my mom, so the visit will be nice.

And, for the local folks, we're going up to the Heart of the Forest faire in Novato on Saturday. Tickets are $20 ($16 if you buy them online beforehand), it's a lot of fun, and we'd love to have you join us.

I'm sure you'll all understand why I'm offline for the next few days. ;)

Motion to dismiss...

Some kid caught smoking in the bathroom at school was brought up on a misdemeanor disorderly conduct charge for shouting a few choice f-word epithets at his principal. (Insert Cornholio joke here.)

His public defender drafted this motion to dismiss, which, I must admit, I'm rather amused by. Who knew. :)

(Might not be work safe--no pictures, just lots of language.)

Courtesy of TOR.N

Oh my god. Look at who's scheduled on Inside the Actor's Studio for September 29th.

http://www.newschool.edu/academic/drama/itas/index.htm

So glad I have TiVo right now. :)

...

TACOS!!!

Ack!

Hrm. In trying to add the Blogathon webring code to my front page, I think I've managed to totally screw up my index page template. Doh! Bear with me while I try to figure this out.

Update: Done! Yay! Just me being stupid, which I figured was the problem. :)

Oh, and hey--sponsor me! Please? ;)

Evil!

The people at Fellowship Foundry are evil.

Want proof?

Well, there's this, and this, and this (which I have),and this!

That last one, it's new. And wow, it's drool-worthy.

See? Evil. :)

Arrr!

This is probably one of the best whole weekends I've had in awhile. Over the past few weeks there've been good *days* here and there, but this weekend was just awesome from start to finish.

Start:

Friday night, Brett and I went out to dinner with Jeremy and Leon. Much laughter and conversation was had, to say nothing of the delicious food. Applebee's has this BBQ Fever thing going on that's really quite good...course, I'm a sucker for honey barbeque stuff. Jeremy and Brett both had the alcoholic beverages of their choice, so were giggling at every little thing under the sun as we left. We tried a run to Dairy Queen, but they close early, even on Fridays, so there was none for us. But it was a great start to the weekend, very much fun.

Middle:

I bribed my best friend Matt into letting me pay his way to the Heart of the Forest Faire on Saturday, muahaha. It probably wouldn't have worked as well, had it not been just ages since we'd seen one another. I got to see his apartment, which is a really nice place, and we drove off to the Faire.

Now, the directions from San Francisco say to take 101 north. From Vallejo, they say take 80E to some highway I don't even remember the name of, and...well. We took the Vallejo directions, because we figured that it would be easier. Well...easier it might have been (though, wow, the bridge traffic sucked), and I got to see some parts of the highway that I hadn't before, but wow. Talk about the most roundabout way to get anywhere, ever. Were it not for the maze (which we dealt with on the way home), it would have been easier to go through San Francisco, as opposed to taking the very very looooong way around. But, the drive was nice, and the company was perfect. :)

The only gripe I have about the long way around is that it took us past Black Point. Those of you who've ever been to the Northern CA Renaissance Pleasure Faire before, say, 1999 will recognize that name. That's where the Faire had been held for quite a long time, as I understand it, and the site was just gorgeous. But the long way around took us right past it, and they put in a GOLF COURSE. Oh, and luxury housing--and guess what the housing complex was called? Yup. Renaissance. Bastards.

We discovered that off-roading in the Camry is a bad thing, even on seemingly level ground, especially with a full bladder. Ack. We had to park in the overflow parking, and were shuttled to the actual site on a yellow school bus. No, not a short one, no comments from the peanut gallery! The park that the Faire takes place on is really lovely, there's a lake with very startlingly blue water, a lot of trees, and on Saturday, a beautiful breeze that took the edge off the heat.

It's smaller than RPFN, definitely, but the vendors there all appear to be the best of the best. Most of them are familiar faces, probably because the Novato location is far enough away from the RPFN site that they can participate in both. It's great, though, and I'm really looking forward to going back again.

We didn't stay long--long enough for me to buy yet another chignon pin, look at some possible dresses for my mom, for us to drool over Pendragon's booth, for me to find that I can exchange my cracked gazing bowl, and to find that Fellowship Foundry really *does* have a knife and server set to go with the celtic heart cake topper we got. Woohoo. Oh, and Schulps is evil, between the knives and the pottery.

It was only on the way back that we discovered that we probably could've taken 580 to the 101. Mind you, the evil Richmond bridge was in the way...agh. Bad for me. Bridges bad, mmm'kay?

It had been a really long time, too, since Matt and I had time to talk, just the two of us, so the long drive out, the hour and change we spent at the Faire, lots of time to catch up, and it was just really wonderful.

Brett finally got done with work, so we met up with him and had a marvelous dinner at Olive Garden, where there was still more wonderful conversation to be had. We also introduced Matt to the TLC (originally BBC) show While You Were Out, where we admired Andrew, the British carpenter.

And that was Saturday.

Finish:

The Plan for Sunday was to hit Levitz to look for a new coffee table, to swing by Office Depot to get a new chair mat for me, and to go to the store. Part of that was blown out of the water while, as we were at lunch, Brett asked me if I'd like to go see a movie.

We ventured to Homietown--where they're putting in another In-N-Out, those bastards. As if the place isn't crowded enough, and dammit, that's way too close to home. Mmm, burgers. Ahem. So, long story short (way too late, yes yes), we found we were in time to catch an afternoon showing of Pirates of the Caribbean.

I really really didn't want to like that movie. I mean, come on, it's based on a *ride*, for cryin out loud. :) But the previews looked pretty intriguing, and of course, how can you go wrong with Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, and Geoffrey Rush?

And the answer is, you can't, not really. It was awesome, so much better than I expected it to be. It's definitely turn-your-brain-off kind of stuff, but still. It was *really* well paced, there really wasn't time to be bored at all. The acting was superb--Johnny Depp plays an amazing pirate, and Orlando Bloom looks really good when he's kind of scruffy. Geoffrey Rush is, as always, the consummate bad guy, and just...wow. Seriously, I really enjoyed it a whole lot.

After the movie, there was grocery store and Office Depot, a conversation with my mom (who's coming into town on July 31 for a few days, to help me out with wedding things), and a multi-player Diablo game. Woot. The sorceress out with the barbarian is a scary thing. Yay, potions!

So, hopefully, the goodness that was this weekend will carry me through the week. I think I have a hook for my Blogathon participation--but if you want to know what it is, you'll just have to read. :) I'm still looking for sponsors, as well; you do have to sign up for a Blogathon account, it looks like, and have to click the confirmation link, but it really is for a good cause.

Hope everyone has a wonderful week!

!!

We got our first wedding gift today, along with our first set of response cards. Damn, I only sent the invitations out on Monday! :)

But hey...yay breadmaker!

Blog-A-Thon.

I was introduced to the Blog-A-Thon by a post made by Cranky Chick. It's not something I'd heard of before, but it's not terribly surprising--there are so many 'thons' out there, why not one for bloggers? :)

Anyway, I've been looking over the Blogathon web site, and I think that I may participate. The real bare bones description is this: During the Blogathon, people update their websites every 30 minutes for 24 hours straight, starting at 6:00am pacific time on Saturday, July 26th.

I'm wondering two things:

1. Would all you people who are on the livejournal RSS feed kill me (because this would spam your friends lists for a day)?

2. Would anyone be interested in sponsoring me?

I've given some thought to it, and the charity that I'd like to sponsor would be With Arms Wide Open, the foundation for children started by Creed's Scott Stapp. Donations are made directly to the charity once the Blogathon is finished, they'll accept check, money order, or credit cards, and...

Well, anyway. Let me know? :)

...

I love my mom.

Even if the eCard she sent me this morning made me all weepy at work.

Or maybe *because* she sent me an eCard that made me all weepy at work.

Time to write.

One of the things I've always said that I like about having a journal is the ability to write. I still feel that way about it, I probably always will. There's something very cathartic about it, putting words to paper (or, in this case, word processor, or notepad, or web browser), watching with only half a mind to something that you create.

That's the operative word, I think, create. Whether it seems that way to people or not, a lot of writing is a creative process, it's the same sort of thing as painting or sculpture, any number of other things that involve the manufacture of something tangible where nothing existed before. It's just that the product can be a little bit different, when it's the written word.

Most often, though, what I create is for me, either because I'm driven to write it, or because I think it might be worthwhile. A lot of what I write forces me to deal with things, whether they're personal issues or otherwise, so that's always a good thing. But, I never expect my writing to really touch people other than myself.

That's why, when I got the invitation to participate in a collaborative webzine, I was really flattered. I wrote my first piece for it today, and it's something that's rather...um. Well. It falls into that category of needing to deal with personal issues, and to say that it's pretty emotionally raw is probably an understatement.

Anyway...check it out: Just Write About It, the Electric Tangerine webzine.

It's Tuesday.

This or That for Tuesday, July 1.

1. Lemonade or Ice Cold Beer?
2. Swimming pool or beach?
3. Long weekends here & there, or a 2-week vacation?
4. Destination: Acapulco or Hawaii?
5. Destination: Mountains or Beach?
6. Hotel/motel/B&B or camping?
7. Carefully planned vacation, or play it by ear?
8. Sneakers or sandals?
9. Air-conditioning or fans?
10. Concerts in the park or baseball games?

1. Lemonade or Ice Cold Beer?

Oh, ew. Neither. Beer is just Not My Thing, and while lemonade is nice, I hate to drink it. Give me something cherry flavored any day. Or just give me soda. :)

2. Swimming pool or beach?

Both, depending on my mood.

3. Long weekends here & there, or a 2-week vacation?

I'd do both if I could, but I really do prefer the two week vacation, if only because that gives me a whole two weeks away to try and decompress, to let go of work stress.

4. Destination: Acapulco or Hawaii?

I haven't been to either place, but there's a resort in Hawaii (where, conveniently, we're going for our honeymoon next year) that I really want to go to.

5. Destination: Mountains or Beach?

Both! I love the beach, I love the smell of the salt and the sound of the waves. But, I also love the mountains...depending on what mountains you're talking about. :)

6. Hotel/motel/B&B or camping?

Depends on where we're going. A motel will usually work, as long as there's a bed, a shower, and a toilet, I don't care too much.

7. Carefully planned vacation, or play it by ear?

Carefully planned in that I like to pick where I'm going to go. Aside from that, it doesn't matter what we do, as long as we hit the (usually very small) list of things I want to see wherever I am. Our trip to Toronto is a big example, there were three things we had to do: See California Guitar Trio (which was structured because we had to buy tickets), go to the Hockey Hall of Fame, and go to Niagara Falls. We did almost all of it on our own time, and it was a lot of fun...bratty, snarky cousin aside. That's where the infamous picture of my mom (who's smiling at the camera) and Brett (who's flipping off the camera) comes from.

8. Sneakers or sandals?

Both, sort of. Merrell makes some comfy shoes, and I usually prefer those. I have ugly feet.

9. Air-conditioning or fans?

AC all the way. Fans are great, but if it's really flaming hot outside? AC.

10. Concerts in the park or baseball games?

Concerts in the park, pleeeeeeease. I know this is probably a travesty for some people, but my god, baseball is boring. Yeah, I'll occasionally follow it (the home run race between Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa, for example), but in general? Yaaaawn. :)

Talk.

A lot to talk about, not much to say.

That's how I feel about life lately, and it's really hard to describe why. There's a whole bunch going on--wedding plans are moving along, work, politics, current events, and just plain old stuff that I keep thinking I might want to write about at some point, but none of it ever finds a voice.

For some of that, it's easy. I don't like to talk about politics, because even though I probably *do* have an opinion, it's not something I feel comfortable holding up to debate. Sure, I have a lot to say about Roe wanting to overturn the Roe v. Wade decision, but how coherently can I say what I mean? And how well can I defend what I say, since ALL of it would be based on how I personally feel about this stuff?

Same thing with Iraq, and how I feel about people calling Bush 'The Shrub,' and comparing him to Hitler, all that stuff. I have opinions...but they're exactly that. *Opinions*. I'll be the first to admit that they're not terribly informed, and I guess the real travesty, to a lot of people, is that I don't care about changing that. The easiest way for me to answer that is to say that my life is a lot simpler and a lot easier, not worrying about that.

(Ah-ha! Here is how to fool the brain into writing! Trick it, say you have nothing to talk about, and just type!)

Anyway, that post was started almost two weeks ago, and it never ended up in the blog. Life is still moving along at the same pace...which is both good and bad, in equal measure. Good that I don't have anything to complain about, bad because it makes me realize just how boring a person I really am. :)

My birthday's coming up this week, and I've already had a couple of people ask me how I feel about that--it'll be my 30th. Here's the thing: I don't, really. To me, it's just another year, just another number. It's not something I use to define myself. When I was a kid, I always acted older than my age...people were assuming that I was in my thirties by the time I was eighteen. I guess it's about time that my chronological age finally catch up to the way I have sometimes presented myself.

Oh, and before you ask, I really don't have much of an idea what I want. My mom's sending me something, but I don't know what that is. For the truly curious and persistent, I have a wish list at Amazon.com. Some of that stuff isn't out yet, some of it's unavailable, but...anyway. I don't post that because I'm expecting gifts--I'm not. I hate posting stuff like this, because I always feel really awkward about it. I just know that at least one person has asked Brett what I want for my birthday, and I don't think *he* knows, either, so...here you go. :)

Other random comments:

Diablo 2 is evil.

Matrix Reloaded...wow. We saw that today, and man. Such a pungent pile of shit that I had to smell my clothes when I left, to make sure the stink didn't follow me. My opinion, of course, but I am so thoroughly unimpressed. I have to see the last one, if only to resolve the storyline, but I won't see it in the theater, nor will I buy either of them.

Saw some trailers for some movies that I'm looking forward to: Radio, with Cuba Gooding Jr. and Ed Harris. Veronica Guerin with Cate Blanchett. Ooh, and we saw the Boob Raider preview, along with Terminator 3 and Pirates of the Caribbean. I still have yet to see some movies that I'd *like* to see, but we're getting there, slowly.

And...that's about it. :)

Meme.

This Or That, Thursday June 26th.

1. Surf sites at random, or have a set list of regular reads?
2. Do you visit mostly blogs, or news or other sites?
3. Do you go online every day, or just a couple of days a week?
4. Do you allow comments on your blog, or not?
5. Do you shop online at all, or at regular stores?
6. Have you ever done online bill-paying/banking, or not?
7. Which news site do you prefer... MSNBC.com or CNN.com? Or do you prefer some other one?
8. Live chat rooms, or message boards?
9. Instant messaging or e-mail?
10. Yes or no: have you ever met, or at least talked on the phone with, another blogger? If not, would you want to? Why or why not?

Answers below:

1. Surf sites at random, or have a set list of regular reads? Mostly, I have a list of regular reads, but I do some random surfing every once in awhile.

2. Do you visit mostly blogs, or news or other sites? That's hard to say, I read a lot of different stuff.

3. Do you go online every day, or just a couple of days a week? Every day, unless I'm away from home.

4. Do you allow comments on your blog, or not? Sure, why not? I don't get many comments, but it's interesting to see what people have to say.

5. Do you shop online at all, or at regular stores? Both. I shop online when I can, but I also shop in regular stores for a lot of things, as well.

6. Have you ever done online bill-paying/banking, or not? Yep. Much more convenient.

7. Which news site do you prefer... MSNBC.com or CNN.com? Or do you prefer some other one? I usually visit CNN.com, as well as bayarea.com, the local paper.

8. Live chat rooms, or message boards? What is MUSH, but one big live chatroom? :)

9. Instant messaging or e-mail? I prefer email, but use IM for stuff at work, and to talk to other people.

10. Yes or no: have you ever met, or at least talked on the phone with, another blogger? If not, would you want to? Why or why not? Heh! Several other bloggers came to my house for dinner on Sunday. The man I'm marrying is a blogger. I think it's safe to say that I've not only talked on the phone with, not only *met*, but have spent a great deal of time around them.

Mmm, garlic.

So, Sunday, as promised, I cooked teriyaki flank steak. I'm glad I went to the store to buy another--there were six of us, and only one strip of meat left by the time all was said and done.

Saturday afternoon, as I was just starting to get into my copy of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, I realized that I hadn't yet put the meat in to marinate. Alas. :) I took a quick trip to the store--and what *is* it with these places that some of them don't carry flank steak? It took me four tries before I finally found what I wanted, but I got it.

Home again, home again, to make the teriyaki and put the steak in. I love making this stuff, it makes the kitchen smell wonderful. I also hate making it, because my hands smell like garlic for days later...and garlic is rather sticky when you put it through the press.

In the end, we had a delicious dinner (I think). Teriyaki steak, grilled. Fresh corn on the cob. Rice. Dinner rolls. And cake for dessert. One of the things I love most about cooking is that moment when everyone's served themselves and started to eat. You can tell right away whether they like it, because there's this moment of absolute silence, but for the noise of cutlery on plates.

I'll have to tell my mom, her steak was a hit, once again.

Interested in the recipe? See below:

In a pot, mix the following items:

2-3 cloves of garlic (or to taste, we use a little more, crushed or run through garlic press)
1 tablespoon fresh grated ginger (pare back the brownish skin first)
1 cup soy sauce
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1/4 to 1/2 cup brown sugar (to taste, depending on how sweet you want it)

Warm over low to medium-low heat, until warm, to blend flavors. If desired, strain off a small portion of the sauce for dipping.

Tenderize flank steak (both sides) by cutting a cross-hatch pattern diagonal to the grain of the meat (so you'll end up having diamond shapes). Put steak into air-tight container (Mom uses ziploc bags, I used a pyrex bowl with an air-tight lid), pour prepared liquid into said container, close. Place container in refrigerator. Every few hours (or whenever it crosses your mind) shake the bag/bowl to spread sauce.

Steak can be broiled or grilled, cook to taste.

Cherry.

Oh, and can I just say that Henry Weinhard is a fucker?

Press release.

We've had some of the Black Cherry Cream Soda, saw it at the store last weekend and started drooling at the very thought. I went through three bottles of the stuff in probably about an hour. Damn good. Must have more. If you like cherry flavored stuff...highly recommended. It's really tasty stuff and not quite so tooth-itchingly sweet as the Vanilla Cream (I thought--and don't get me wrong, I like the Vanilla Cream too!).

Yum. But dammit. Add this to the garlic craving, and I am in serious trouble.

Anyone interested in coming to our place for grilled teriyaki steak for dinner Sunday?

Hungry...

It's so easy to tell, you know, when you live occasionally upwind from Gilroy, Garlic Capitol Of The World...

One of the things that makes living in the Bay Area similar to living in Seattle is the marine layer of clouds that sometimes makes itself at home after dark. In Seattle, it's humid enough and backed up by enough *real* clouds that it rains frequently--if you can call that 'ack, someone's using a squirt bottle on mist up in the sky again, mooooommmmm!' thing rain. And, of course, there's the fact that the fog burns off around here. Sometimes it might not burn off until later in the afternoon, but it usually burns off, and it's extremely rare (so I hear, and so I've experienced over the past (oh cripes has it been) seven years (already!)) for it to rain here during the 'dry season.'

But the fog is still present, and it sometimes takes the edge off the heat of the day, which is nice. It also tends to make the mornings a little more humid, and it's out of this vaguely humid morning air that the smell comes...

It's subtle for the first breath, when your senses are still full of home and your mind's distracted by being late, or by the person you left sleeping, or by what you've got to do at work when you get there, or a million other things, but it's there.

Two steps away from the door, it hits in full force, that same damp air, but the scent is suddenly *there*, it fills your nostrils, and whether or not you were hungry just a second or two ago, you're now starving, *ravenous*, for something...something, *anything* that has garlic in it.

The smell lingers all the way to work, and hits again on the way to the door of the office. Inside, it's not quite so bad, but the air conditioning is fed by air from the outside, so there's this underlying scent--not powerful, not overt, but still enough to be noticable, still enough to keep your stomach rumbling, 'please, ohmygod, please, you have to feed me now!'

Eventually, as with all things, the smell goes unnoticed--not because it's not present, but because you're used to it now. There's a term for it, I learned it in my psychology class, but it escapes me. And even though the smell may be gone, the hunger, the craving remains.

Maybe I should make Mom's teriyaki again, soon.

Lemming lemming...

I have run out of things of substance to say.

Well, okay, that's not true. I'm just in a really strange place right now, brain-wise. Fractured, sort of. Unfocused. Hard to explain.

I think my body's still adjusting to the shift in schedule, and being sick hasn't really helped.

So, instead of writing anything real (there's some actual content in progress at home, really)...here's a Thursday lemming.

Onesome: Potter- Which Harry Potter character is your favourite? Why do you like him or her?

It's hard to pick just one, because they've all got good traits and bad traits--which makes them all more real, of course, but...I don't know. I think I'll cheat a little and just choose Hedwig. :)

Twosome: Publication- Is there one publication that you just have to read? A paper you read daily, a magazine you read weekly or monthly? Newsletters? And do you buy it for the articles, or just to look at the pictures? ;) Whatever it is, tell us about it!

Publication? Not really, nothing in print that I absoultely *have* to read--not anymore. Used to be Circus and Hit Parader and that stuff, and I probably had the biggest scrapbook collection of Def Leppard articles outside of their parents. Or maybe not. :)

As far as websites go, Tomato Nation is a must. She updates weekly, when she's not having problems with old sites vs. new sites...hopefully it'll be fixed soon.

Threesome: Party!- The festivities begin tomorrow night in bookstores across the US and England, (and elsewhere too, probably!) with fun and games for the kid in all of us. Do you plan to be there standing in the queue when the clock strikes midnight to pick up your copy of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix?

I have a copy reserved at Borders, but I also have a copy coming from Amazon, so I'll probably just let the one at Borders go, get some sleep tomorrow night, and just spend all day Saturday on pins and needles waiting for the mail to show up. And pissed off if it doesn't. ;) I don't want to pay for the book twice, though, otherwise I'd seriously consider going to Borders and getting *that* copy.

Sometimes...

Sometimes, the interal filter is a *good* thing.

Like when you walk out of your part of the office to go talk to someone else, see a co-worker standing in profile, and come *this close* || to expressing, out loud, surprise that she's pregnant again and wondering when she's due.

Being a woman, you'd think I'd know better than that in the first place. I'm still just so thankful that the brain engaged before the mouth did, this time.

Eee!

Woohoo, got the paper today with which I am going to make our wedding invitations. It'll be a nice, light grey on the top, black text, cropped to about 6" x 8", fastened to this beautiful paper called Stardream in sapphire (thanks much to Clay and Brian for helping me choose the color!) that's the standard 8.5" x 11". Not fancy, perhaps, but the paper is beautiful, particularly the sapphire, and I think it will look nice, and elegant, even if it's home done. :) I'll see if I can get a scan of it at some point. :)

Hoorah for paperzone.com, and for the weddingplans community on Livejournal, who pointed me there.

Interview, part two.

This interview is from Xenobia at livejournal, who also has a blog.

Anyone else want an interview? Reply here, or on LJ!

1) Beading. How did it capture your attention, and when?

Crafting has always been something that has interested me, though I first started out with just counted cross-stitch. I tried to get into crocheting, but I couldn't ever get the hang of anything more complex than just the basic stitch. Then, I found Michael's, and here was heaven. :) At first, it was just the soap and candles, but then I bought a book on beaded bobby pins (a Klutz book), and another Klutz book just on beading in general, after wandering up and down the bead aisles of Michael's and drooling. They've started to get some higher quality beads in (though not as nice as some places), and when I saw that they were offering a class earlier this year, I took the opportunity. So, it really wasn't until about January or February of this year until my interest was really caught.

I guess what it comes down to is that I like to create. I put a piece of myself into everything I make, I like seeing how the things I visualize actually turn out once I finally get them made.

2) When not forced to be up before the sun because of work, are you by nature/choice a morning person or a night person?

A night person, generally. I've been a morning person for so long, though, that I've almost forgotten what that's like. I still get a taste of it once in awhile on the weekends...I miss the staying up late at night, and getting up late in the morning, because I associate it most closely with time spent with close friends, sitting together on the couch and just talking...or sitting up a canyon in a topless land cruiser in the mountains at the beginning of May, with the snow still heavy on the ground, looking at the stars and singing.

3) Are more of your closest friends male or female, or is the distrubution evenly split?

Most of my closest friends are male. In fact, I don't have a lot of female friends in general, and the very closest of my friends are all men--several of them gay men. :) That's generally been true throughout my life, except for two specific times, and unfortunately, those three women (Libby, Allie, and Lynette) aren't really a part of my life anymore, not in that way.

I'm not really sure why that is. I guess I could say that I'm more comfortable around men, but I'm not sure how true that statement is--I'm not very comfortable around a lot of people. I tend to be very private and prickly, quiet in larger groups of people (unless I know them welll--or have had too much to drink). I wonder, sometimes, if that drives people away.

4) What's one food (or dish) that you love, but don't get to have very often?

The chicken fettucini alfredo that I make. Brett doesn't like white sauces, but this is, for me, the ultimate in comfort food.

5) I'm sure this has been asked before, but why do you blog/LJ/keep a journal?

Purely for selfish reasons. :) I like to write, sometimes I *have* to write, to get whatever demons are in my head out. Sometimes I write just to babble, other times I write to remember, or to forget...the online LJ/blog gives me a way to write, but also to *share*, which is hard for me--most of my writing (especially the essay type things) is very personal, so it's just easier for me to know that it's there and it's up, so that other people can read, but I don't have to *watch* them while they do it. Does that make sense at all?

Interview With A...

...okay, maybe not. :)

Another one of those memes going around Livejournal right now is this interview thing, which I think is a lot of fun. I've learned a lot of interesting things about my friends, to say the least.

So, I asked my good friend Andrea in Germany (she's astalavista over there) for my interview, the questions and answers are below.

Want me to interview you? Comment here, or in the LJ posts!

1. How did you end up at your current job? Is this what you always wanted to do? If not, what would you rather do?

Wow, I could write an essay about this one--and I plan to, at some point. It's on my handy list of topics at home. :) There's no real short answer, either, so bear with me.

I moved out to CA in 1997 to be closer to some friends I'd made on PernMUSH, that was really the only motivation I had. I figured, though, with all the high tech companies out there looking to hire entry-level folks, I'd be able to find *something*. Not so. I was here for several months before I finally got a temp job, one which lasted five months, before I was let go. I was lucky enough to find something quickly after *that*, but that was the infamous Lifeguard job, which I loathed--not so much the work part, because mindless data entry can actually be somewhat soothing, if only because you don't have to think about it. My supervisor there was just horrible, though. Ugh.

In the middle of all this, one of my then-friends came to work at International Network Services (INS) doing support. She gave my resume to her supervisor, and eventually (after interviewing in another department for another job), Dave gave me an interview. Dave, the man who could overspend an unlimited budget, took Lynette, Leigh Ann, and I out to lunch, then he and I talked afterwards...I had no clue that it was a formal interview-type thing. Apparently, it was something of a fight for me to get hired here--I had no pertinent technical experience and hadn't ever really done extensive phone work. They all liked me enough to give it a shot, though Rick (Dave's boss) was a little dubious. As it turned out, I became one of the top ticket closers relatively quickly, so...good gamble for them, if I do say so myself. :) And, I got promoted (and more than doubled my income) after my first year here, so I must be at least a little bit good at it.

I got this job on September 13, 1999. I'd told myself in July that if I didn't have a job by September 15th, I was going back home to Seattle.

Is this what I always wanted to do? Well...no. Not really. :) I don't know if anyone really aspires to be tech support. If Lucent were in a different place, it'd be a good stepping stone, a good in-road to any number of other career paths, but there's no chance for upward development here unless you have a college degree (which I don't), and pass any number of other weird standards/qualifications. I didn't come into it with any specific plan, though. I thought briefly about quality assurance, but that didn't pan out. I really wanted to go out to do field work, but that never worked out either--which is for the best, considering that most of the field reps have been laid off. So. Long-winded answer to that, but what it boils down to is that no, this isn't what I always wanted to do.

What *do* I want to do? I want to change the world. Am I serious? Yes and no. I feel as if I have the capability to do so--I think everyone does. But. :) So, hm. What do I really want to do? I'm hoping, eventually, to get a psychology degree (but fuck, if it takes me six times to get the spelling right, I'm doing something wrong!), specifically clinical psychology, which would allow me to hang a shingle. What I'd really like to do is specialize in online addictions--I have enough experience for that! :) I hope I'll realize that someday, but in the meantime, my dream job right now is to be the owner/manager of my own shop, selling my jewelry, my candles and soap, my painted glass. The business license is actually forthcoming, so that may not be as far off as it always seems. :)

2. Do you and Brett want to have children, after you get married? Or would you rather wait some time more? Or maybe have no children at all?

We've actually talked about this, but it's been awhile since the subject came up. Right now, no, we don't plan to have any children. I don't *want* children. People keep telling me that'll change for me in the future, but I can't see how. I have to admit, too, that statement *really* upsets and offends me--I know my own mind. I'm a big girl, I know what I do and don't want, and to have someone pat me on the head and say, all condescending like, 'oh, you'll change your mind!' really rankles. How do YOU know that? You're not me. Bah. :)

I'll grant that it's possible, but I don't see how. I'm not good mother material, I don't think, and I could give a big laundry list of reasons why, but I guess the real simple answer is that I *like* the way my life is now. A child would change all that...and it's not a decision you can un-make, you know? You can't return a kid to some central depository, like you can return a blouse to the department store. :)

3. Where would be your favorite place to live in the world? If your current location is your favorite place, why is that so?

If I could take all the Mormons out of Utah, I'd live there in a heartbeat, because it's just so fucking beautiful.

If I could make all the crazy politicians go the hell away from California, I'd live somewhere north up the coast, right on the mountains off the water.

If I could make all the crazy politicians go the hell away from Massachusetts, I'd love to live in Boston, just for the sheer history value.

My favorite place would be moderate in climate, have both ocean and mountains closeby, and with a city in relatively close proximity, but still far enough away that I had space.

4. Why do you MU*? For socialization or RP? Or any other reason?

At first, it was for the RP. I had a character on CrystalMUSH with whom I managed strange depths of self-destructive behavior. PernMUSH was fun for RP, too, until the politics got in the way. :)

These days, I MUSH mostly for the socialization, though I still get RP in there now and then. It's been a part of my daily life so long that it'd be weird to stop.

5. If you could have a mind power, what would that be? :-)

Ooo, a fun one! Hmmm. Mindspeech might be fun, but I think the one that I'd really want is telekinesis. I'd love to be able to move stuff around with just my mind--so convenient. Think about all you could do with that--you'd never have to physically do dishes again! :)

I wish... I wish...

So, uberdaddybear on livejournal gives out a daily writing assignment. This guy has no idea who I am, I'm sure. :) I don't read his journal, but see lonespiritwolf2 post his answers from time to time. Today's assignment intrigued me.

Uberdaddybear says:

You have been bestowed with a very unique opportunity........

you have three wishes......the only catch is.....you cant use them for your own personal gain....you can't do any of that world peace crap....you have to use them on three different livejournal people......SO who, what, and why?
PENCILS UP!

Answers below.

This is a difficult one for me, because there are a lot of people on my LJ list that I would love to make a wish for. I'm going to refrain from making a wish for Brett, because that somehow seems unfair. :)

So...

For ophanim, my best friend for 11 years and counting, I wish for the man he's been waiting for. I know he's out there somewhere, but he seems to be taking his sweet time about it, and if there is ever someone who deserves the spiritual connection, the love, the utter bliss and sheer wonder that comes along with finding one's match, it's him. But, that's why I wish it for him--he's the greatest friend I have, and one of the absolute sweetest, kindest, most generous men I know.

For rainbowbinky, I wish a happy, healthy, long life for her two wonderful children, that they grow up to be kind-hearted people, who approach the world with love and a bright, optimistic outlook. I don't need to wish for her to be the best mother I know, because she already is. I probably don't need to wish for *this*, either, because I know how good a mom she is, but I still want that on my list. :)

And finally, for ta_chuang and tarotchan, I wish an easy move to the west coast, complete with finding the perfect apartment that they both adore, and jobs that will support them and their lifestyle when they move out here. This is selfish, in some ways--I adore them both, and I'd love for them to stay out here as long as possible. But, by the same token, I also just want them to be happy, as I wish the same for all my friends.

There are others I could wish for, but...alas. I'm done at three. Dammit. :)

Poaching!

Okay, last time I made one of those 'Ask Me Anything' LJ memes, I didn't get all that many responses, so I didn't do it again when the trend started back up. Mind you, I didn't *ask* people many things, so I guess it's one of those situations where karma comes back. :)

So anyway, they've started up again for another round, but this time, instead of reopening a poll, I'm poaching from other people's polls. Yeah, I know that's sort of cheating--and if there's something you want to ask, ask me! You can either comment at the end of this post, or leave a comment to the entry on Livejournal, I read both.

So...to borrow a question that mysticmoose asked of a lot of people: If you could live anywhere, where would it be?

Interested in the answer? Click more.

If you could live anywhere, where would it be?

I could cheat here and say that it wouldn't matter where I lived, as long as Brett was there. While that's certainly true, it's also something of a cop-out, and there are places that we could live that I'd absolutely hate, so. :) In the spirit of the question...

If I could live in Utah without all the politics and the Mormons, I'd do it in a heartbeat. When people say that Utah Mormons are different than those you'd find anywhere else, it's completely, utterly true. It doesn't seem as if it's *so* bad anymore, but being non-Mormon out there is difficult, and it's not somewhere that I'd want to raise children, if I were ever to have them. But still, if I could live there without the wacky politics and the Mormons, I'd love to. It's beautiful, Salt Lake City proper is practically surrounded by mountains (thus the Salt Lake Valley), and when I went back for the first time in ten+ years, I felt that visceral *tug* that only ever came to me there. That feeling in the pit of my stomach that said "HOME!"

Failing that, I actually wouldn't mind living on Martha's Vineyard, though it's probably hellaciously expensive, and it's part of MA, so the politics there are equally wacky.

I *loved* Seattle, the city was very friendly, and Mount Rainier is such an awesome sight to see. I loved the rain (I'm probably alone in that), and there was some really cool stuff to do up there. If you can get past the marine layer, and the ever-present mist...it's a beautiful place, so *green*.

At one point, too, I had this (very lofty) goal of being independently wealthy and living right off the cliffs off the water in northern California, up by Shasta and the like--northern CA or southern Oregon, as long as it was coastal. I was going to have a stable and breed/raise thoroughbreds. Not so much anymore. :)

So...if I had to choose one, I guess I'd choose Utah, if only because of the way I feel when I'm there. There are plenty of other places I might choose, though, if I were more travelled.

Random.

I was all set to bitch at being at work at 7:00 (well, 8 now) on a *Saturday* morning, but that was before I touched almost 20 of my tickets in an hour. Woohoo for productivity. Besides, if I start whining and feeling sorry for myself, I'll never get out of here, and you know, it's not like they MADE me do this. I'm doing this to keep myself out of trouble, because I am just so fucking swamped. So, instead of feeling sorry for myself, I'm actually (and surprisingly) VERY glad I did this. Yay me.

ANYway.

My random comment for an early Saturday morning at work:

It is very disconcerting to take the first sip of a soda which has ice crystals in it...because it feels like you're drinking liquid with some sort of bugs in it.

Ew.

Thursday Threesome.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Make this week go away, please. Thirteen new tickets in two days, most of those between the hours of 5 and 7am. Can't I just be done now, please? :)

So, to distract me from work for a few minutes, so I don't go killing clients, here's a Thursday Threesome for May 29th.

Onesome: Ain't- There's a lot of slang floating around out there. Some of it has even found its way into the dictionary. Is there any one word that you find more annoying than others? That you just wish would fall off the face of the planet, never to be heard again?

Oh god. I can't pick just one word--the whole AOLer-speak drives me nuts. l8r, str8, U R ky00t, tonite...and the whole l33t sp33k thing just drives me fucking batshit. Strictly speaking, a lot of it isn't slang because they're real words (mostly), but most of my communication is done through a type-written medium, whether it be books, email, blogging, MUSHing, so I guess I still consider it slang. I think a lot of that goes hand in hand with the next question, too. I'm not an English major, I never was, but it bothers me to see the language butchered (as I see it) like that.

Twosome: It- It's/Its, they're/their/there. Just a few of the most commonly misspelled words in the English language. So the question is, when you blog, do you worry about grammar, punctuation and spelling? If you notice a typo do you go back and edit? Or do you shrug it off because everyone makes typos?

Yes, I do care about grammar, punctuation, and spelling. If I make a typo, I generally go back and edit--there's only one post I can think of where I haven't done that. In general, I'm careful about my typing *as* I make the post, so that I don't have to go back and edit later. Spell check is your friend. I don't ever shrug that stuff off, more because I feel a sense of pride in what I write, so to speak, and I can't if it's full of bad grammar and typos. Yeah, everyone makes them, and that's cool, but I don't like them in *my* work. Make sense?

Threesome: Purty?- Purty/pretty, crick/creek, warsh/wash. All common pronunciations, whether they sound pretty or not. And one is mispronounced. What's one commonly mispronounced word that just drives you nuts?

Ack, all of the above, that's a good start. I don't hear 'warsh' nearly as much now that I'm not in Utah. The one that really annoys me is the nukeyouler/nuclear thing, but I think that one tweaks everybody.

One of those days.

Ever have one of those days where you have just one negative thought, or you read something you shouldn't have (all the while having those 'why the fuck am I doing this' thoughts), or someone says something to you that you take the wrong way (and KNOW you're doing it), and that starts this long, downward spiral in which everything turns negative and you can't possibly think anything *but* negative thoughts, and can't find a way to break out of it, even if you purposefully talk to people who can usually get you out of moods like that?

Yeah, me too.

Like, say, today.

A... or B...

This or That, 5/27/03

1. Do you prefer silence or do you like background sound (music, TV, etc)? Background sound, most often music, but TV when Brett is off at NERO. I also need background sound and occasionally music to fall asleep.

2. Bathe/shower in morning or evening? Shower in the morning, most often, but I've also been showering in the late afternoon/early evening because it's starting to get warm again, and our apartment is just so freaking HOT.

3. Sleeping in complete darkness, or with a nightlight on? I'd like to be able to sleep in complete darkness--would rather do so. We're right off a parking lot, though, so we get streetlight glare...and there's nowhere to find complete darkness in this highly urban area unless you have no windows.

4. Lay out clothes the night before, or just grab what's closest in the morning? Grab what's closest in the morning. Laying out clothes is just too organized. :)

5. Hang up/fold clothes neatly, or just toss them wherever? Uh. Well. Considering the pile of unfolded laundry in the bedroom...?

6. Work out at a gym, or at home on your own (or do you not bother with exercise)? At home (sort of) on my own. The skating thing, you know.

7. Talk on the phone, or via IM/e-mail? Email, unless with my mom, then phone.

8. Are you usually on time, or late? I am obsessive about being on time, and usually get places early (thus I am at work at 4:40am when my shift does not start til 5). I think the only thing I hate more than being late is throwing up.

9. Spendthrift or frugal? I *try* to be frugal. Doesn't necessarily work.

10. Thought-Provoking Question of the Week: You work with someone who is not in the habit of bathing regularly. The smell seems to be getting worse and worse! Would you: 1. try to do something about it, or 2. try to grin and bear it? If you said 1, what would you do? Erg. Well. Funnily enough, something like this has happened to me...more than once. Since there are no windows to open here, though, I'd either say something about it, ask Nasser to say something about it, or start bringing in homemade soap--hinthint! :) (Want more? See under the cut.)

The remainder of the answer to question 10:

When I was working in Seattle, I worked swing shift for awhile, til some guy pulled a gun on a bus I was riding home one night, and a woman got mugged at the bus stop one up from mine downtown. Anyway, one of the women who worked on the swing shift with us was...well. Fragrant. A few people complained, but it was mostly all of us just grousing, because we never had the balls to do anything about it. One night, though, I had to sit at her desk, and by the time I left, I just felt totally unclean. The keyboard was brown, there was an oil spot on the back of the chair from her hair when she leaned back, and the whole cube just carried this aura of...ew. So, I went to my boss and asked her to bring it up--which she did, but it never worked. I guess Carol was one of those people who was just stinky. That or she never bothered to shower even after being asked to.

I've also mentioned this before, but wow, the first people I lived with when I moved out here. At first, it wasn't that big a deal, but then we gained another roommate. In the five months that I lived there while he was there, he only showered twice, and I have no idea whether he washed his clothes. Brian (mysticmoose over on LJ) might remember Joel from the Thanksgiving at Lynette and Bobby's--he mentioned later how the guy's jeans seemed sort of...crusty. I guess I should also mention the hair that was practically down to the guy's butt, plus the straggly beard, eh? The two times he showered, he did so because one of our other roommates reminded him to. I still can't fathom why someone would have to REMIND you to shower...I mean, basic hygiene? Ew. He slept on a couch I'd brought with me when I moved from Seattle...which I didn't take with me when I left. I never did anything about this one, though, because I felt like my position at the apartment was kind of tenuous, at best, and I really didn't want to lose what living space I had down here. When I had a chance to leave in February (after smelly boy's equally stinky and unwilling to shower girlfriend had arrived), I was out of there like a shot.

Funnily enough, when I moved in with other roommates in February, it was so I could work to get money to move back to Seattle. I met Brett about a year and a half later. Divine intervention?

Survey madness.

I like some of these surveys, because they make me think. I like some of them, like this one, because they make me take a trip down memory lane, sort of. Thanks to chamois_shimi at livejournal.

1. When did you first connect ("go online"), and how?

The summer I turned 15, which would've been 1987, via 1200 baud modem onto some various bulletin boards in North Carolina. I've actually written about this before, it's my stepmom's fault that I'm online, see this URL: http://www.filidh.org/~nimiriel/writing/online.html

2. What was your first communications program?

Telex.

3. When did you first chat over the Internet, and how?

On a BBS called Lower Lights, in 1991. That's where I met my ex-husband (boo), but also met the person who is the absolute dearest and closest friend I've ever had--and still have (yay).

4. What chat type program(s) do you use now?

Yahoo Messenger and MSN Messenger, both exclusively at work. Oh, and MUSH.

5. Who was your first service provider?

xmission.

6. Did you ever use AOL?

Nope, but they really REALLY want me to. What's that? Oh, you get that metric assload of CDs offering free hours too?

7. Do you admit using AOL in public?

Don't have to. :)

8. Who is your current ISP?

I have DSL, so it's with this company called Broadband Now, which is the ONLY DSL company that will serve this apartment complex. It sucks.

9. What was the first computer that you used to access the 'net?

Hrm. The 'Net specifically, and not the BBS system that I used to call. That'd be the computer I had for the job at the University of Utah. I have no idea what it was.

10. What computer do you use to access the 'net today?

My spiffy new Dell.

11. What was your first 'net handle?

Don't laugh: Sweet Savage. My stepmom got a good cackle out of that (Ellie (she called him that rather than Alex), do you know what your 14 year old daughter just chose as a handle?!), and I really chose it because I had this monstro crush on Rick Savage of Def Leppard.

12. Did you use any other handles for any length of time? If so, what were they?

I used destiny for awhile, also Poledra, Bregalad, and Anduril.

13. What 'net handle do you normally use now?

Nimiriel. God help me, I will never be rid of it. :)

14. Are you active on any Web sites other than LJ?

Active on websites? Not really...though I do a lot with theknot.com lately, because they're just so awesome. Yay, wedding planning stuff.

Not quite...

It's not quite like riding a bike, to be sure. But practice does make perfect...eventually.

We went out skating again today, and I had a MUCH better time of it today than last week. The wind was blowing pretty hard, so there was no real chance to get overheated, and it was late enough in the day that there was a lot of shade at the back of the parking lot.

My feet still hurt a bit, and I need to wear better socks, but...I had fun. And it'll be nice to go out tomorrow or Wednesday after work. Maybe one of these days I'll manage more than half an hour or so.

Surveys.

Grabbed this from khanyar over on livejournal--one of the questions asks whether you'll post the survey in your LJ, but since I'm not using LJ anymore... here it is. :) Yay, lemmings.

Age:
Reason for lj username:
Do you enjoy reading my lj/blog:
Why:
Interesting fact about you:
Weird fact about you:
Quote:
Will you post this in your lj/blog:
If you saw me out in the streets would you say hi:
Suggest a community for me to add:
Why:
Suggest a friend for me to add or a new blog for me to read:
Why:

This or that, 5/20

Another belated this or that entry.

1. Large or small family? Small, definitely. Two's okay, right? Just Brett and I? :)

2. Potato chips or pretzels? Potato chips. Mmm, salty potatoes.

3. House or apartment? Right now? Apartment. Eventually? House. Definitely.

4. Zebras or giraffes? Uh. Giraffes?

5. Candles or potpourri? Candles--home made, by me!

6. Flowers or trees? Yes.

7. Right or left-handed? Right.

8. Model trains or dolls/stuffed animals? Anyone who's been to my apartment and has seen the sheer volume of stuffed animals we have doesn't need me to answer this one.

9. Comedy or drama? Yes. Each has its place--sometimes, a good, tear-jerking drama that'll make me cry is a good thing, but I also love to laugh.

10. Thought-provoking question of the week: The city of Boston has recently banned smoking in all restaurants and bars. Would you want to see such a law passed in your city/town/country, or not? Sorry to all my smoking friends... :) Yes, I would. California's already done so, so the point is kind of moot, but I do like it. First off, I don't believe the study that says second-hand smoke doesn't cause cancer--smoking even filtered cigarettes can cause lung cancer, so how can it be that *unfiltered* smoke doesn't do the same? Second, having lived with a smoker for a long time (my mom), I know that smoke, especially at the dinner table, can really fuck up your sense of taste. I like food (shut up, you!), so I like to be able to taste what I'm eating. I also don't like smelling like a cigarette after I walk out of somewhere.

No disrespect meant at all to my smoking friends--I totally respect your right to do whatever you want. I won't harp on you to quit, I will try to go to smoker-friendly places, I won't tell you NOT to smoke when we're at your house, but I will also reserve the right to ask you not to smoke in my home, and ask for the sacrifice of going to a smoker-friendly place to be traded off, if that makes sense. :) Again, not that it's much of an issue in CA anymore, but still.

I am...

I borrowed this survey-type thing from lonespiritwolf2 over at livejournal. He says that this one's gone around before, but I've never seen it.

I don't typically do quizzes, but I like some of these surveys because they make me *think*...and that, in turn, makes me write, a lot of times.

01. My name is -- Liz
02. I may seem -- Distant, withdrawn, cool, and hard to get to know
03. But I'm really -- Sensitive, slow to trust, and fiercely protective of myself
04. People who know me think I'm -- Kind of crazy, sometimes funny, sometimes annoying
05. If you knew me you'd probably -- find me annoying a lot of the time
06. Sometimes I feel -- scared, and regretful about feeling scared
07. In the morning I -- hug my teddy bear before I get out of bed
08. I like to sleep -- late in the mornings
09. If I could be doing anything right now I would be -- on the beach
10. Money is -- a necessary evil that there's never enough of
11. One thing I wish I had is -- a house of my own
12. One thing I have that I wish I didn't -- my current job (I'd like a different one)
13. All I need -- is love
14. What I don't need -- is having to deal with people who should know better on a daily basis
15. If I had one wish it would be -- that all my friends are as blessed as I am
16. Love -- makes life worth living
17. My body -- is something I need to take better care of
18. If an angel flew into my window at night I would -- ask her to hold my hand while I slept
19. If a demon crashed into my window I would -- wonder whether it was coming for me
20. If I could see one person right now it would be -- my grandma
21. Something I want but I don't really need is -- my own business
22. Something I need but I don't really want is -- a trip to the dentist
23. I live for -- myself and my loved ones
24. I dare you to -- to live each day to the fullest, and tell those closest to you how much you mean to them
25. I am afraid of -- too many things
26. It makes me angry when -- people hurt my friends and family
27. I dream about -- everything
28. I daydream about -- owning my own house
29. My ideal mate would -- be exactly the way that Brett is
30. My ideal life would be -- not much different than this one
31. One thing I know that I will never be able to do -- live life without the fears I've gained since childhood
32. Things I wish I could do -- change the lives of children and make them believe in themselves
33. If I could change one thing about myself physically, it would be -- do you have to ask?
34. I am disappointed with -- the way I worry about things I have no control over
35. I am elated with -- the person I have become, and the life I have made for myself

Just like riding a bike?

When we went to Toronto back in July of 2001, I bought myself a pair of inline skates--a really nice pair, for relatively cheap, especially considering the US to Canada conversion rate. Incentive, I figured to learn how to actually use the things, all that good stuff.

Except that, when we got home, I never used them, and they sat in the closet collecting dust. And each time I thought about bringing them out again, I remembered my other experience with inline skates, and I just never did.

So, I thought, why not get a pair of quad skates? I got a lot of exercise that way when I was in jr. high/high school, and I can still remember how I got my *first* pair of skates...it's just like riding a bike, right? Put the skates on, and away you go? There's a great quad/inline store online, by the way--Skatemall.com is who I dealt with, and they were great.

I got the skates on Friday the 9th, and have been pondering when and where to use them ever since.

Well, this weekend....

Originally, we had thought about and planned on going out on Saturday, so we were going to hit REI, then head out...except that, by the time we finally got going, it would've been too late to get out. We did get to REI, though, and Brett got himself a pair of inline skates, as well as a knee-elbow-wrist pad set. I bought myself a new pair of gloves, and will end up going back for a new pair of knee pads, too.

Out we went on Sunday, first for lunch, then to Baylands Park, which is up Lawrence from where we're at, and very close by where I work--instead of turning left at the light past 237, turn right, and poof, there you are.

It's a pretty nice park, two big parking lots, as well as some other, smaller ones. A bike trail that leads further in, lots of picnic areas with grills, and...a recycled water test garden, which seemed rather weird to me, but hey, have to test that somewhere, I guess.

I brought both the inline skates and the quad skates with me, and...well. Let me just say that it is *not* like riding a bike, not at all. I ended up on the quad skates, and still felt pretty awkward. I forgot, too, how many muscles you use while skating, as opposed to walking.

By the time all was said and done, we were out for maybe an hour, and I'd made a couple of laps around one of the parking spots. I got up good speed a few times there, too...nothing quite like the skating I did when I was a kid, it'll be awhile before I get up to that level, and pavement...well. Pavement's not quite the same as the smooth skating surfaces in a roller rink, but still. Not a bad way to start moving.

I felt really good once we were done--tired and achy, but a *good* kind of tired and achy, and I feel really good again this morning. Looking forward to going back out again, and glad that I bought myself a season pass to the park. I'm sure I'll get a lot of use out of it between now and the end of October, when the park closes.

Yay, exercise! :)

And on the flip side...

This is a very interesting article about gender reversal in schools, which is contributing to a new sort of gender gap in the US.

Good for her!

Just a link this time: Indian bride says 'I don't' to dowry demand.

Snerk!

To follow up...

Microsoft: Internet-ready toilet a hoax

Apparently, it was all a big joke by the UK office. Nice. :)

Little Bunny FooFoo...

We work in a fishbowl--my co-workers can confirm this, and people who've seen it can also confirm. We're in the middle of the building, and three of our four walls are basically windows. The front wall, that faces the long end of the building, is floor-to-ceiling windows. Outside the wall, on the left side (if you're looking *in*) is Nasser's (my boss) cube. On the right side are two empty cubes.

Well. Empty of people. It's full of various 'stuff' that doesn't have a home because it's extra.

Lately, there've been a lot of monitors left in the cubes--left over, or moved from somewhere else, or not working, we're really not sure, they just end up there.

So, this morning when I came in, I noticed... there are bunny ears taped to the top of each monitor.

Some things must be seen to be believed. I wish I had my camera.

Shift change.

Late last year, we got a visit from our grand-boss. For only the second time since taking responsibility for our group, he actually made it out for a visit, and this time, made himself available for questions, as well as for private one-on-ones, which a lot of people declined, but I took, so that I could correct some huge misconceptions that he had about our group.

One of the things that was decided upon during this visit was that we would do away with our UK support answering the phones from 5 to 7am pacific time, and that the Sunnyvale support center would take care of it. We'd been getting huge numbers of complaints from our clients about the support folks out there, along with budget reasons, and all that other fun stuff.

Anyway, the long and short of that was, as of December 26th (yes, the day after Christmas), the Sunnyvale team would start at 5am. I volunteered for this at first--I had plans that I thought would be better suited by working the early schedule, and I liked the idea of getting off at 2pm, so I dealt with the schedule adjustment and plowed on.

When it started, we never really talked about replacement, or rotating the schedule, or anything else like that. After awhile, the getting up early becomes a little easier to get used to, though it seriously cuts into other things...like time with loved ones, for instance.

There are other issues, too, though, and ultimately, I went to my boss yesterday to request that I be taken off the 5am shift. I don't see very much of Brett anymore, which bothers me. I like getting off early, but the sacrifices are rapidly getting to the point where it's just not worth it. I'll stick with it til the end of the month, I said, but after that, I don't want to be back on the early shift until at least after September. I realize that puts my boss between a rock and a hard place, as there are only five other people on the team, and one of them has been on the 5am shift with me, but the plan and simple fact is...five months. Five whole months. Talk to me again when everyone else has done that, too.

As of June 1, I am moving off the 5am shift, yay. This means I am less likely to be in the phone queue (save for busy days or after 2pm), and though it'll get me home later, I think I'll ultimately end up happier about it. No more getting home and going straight to bed, not seeing Brett until the next evening (which, ugh, may happen tonight because I am just freaking exhausted), no more fucked up sleep schedule over the weekends...

Bliss.

Speechless.

Microsoft does the strangest things.

iLoo

... fish..?

Had my first wedding dream last night. I can't say that it was a nightmare, because it really wasn't (though certain aspects of it were), if only because it was just so...surreal. My dress wasn't ready, my hair was in dread locks, Brett was in bare feet and kept having problems with fish biting his toes. The officiant was late, the chairs weren't set up, and all kinds of people who weren't supposed to be there were there anyway. No one could figure out how the receiving line was supposed to go at the end, so no one came by to say hi to us, even though it was our wedding. It started to rain, causing people to shriek and flee, leaving us standing there, looking at one another, and just smiling. I think it's that last image that makes it seem more dream than nightmare.

Some of this rings with a measure of truth, I suppose. My dress still isn't here, though I think (I hope!) she's still working on it. After last night's dream, I'll probably send her a sheepish email to check, just for my own sanity. Brett *has* said he needs new boots, and I haven't talked to anyone about renting chairs yet, so some of it is rooted in reality, but still. Freaky stuff, and can we just not have anymore of that? Thank you.

Office space.

As mentioned in an earlier post, we've turned the now-spare room into an office. This afternoon, I was finally able to move my own stuff in--after fighting with the stupid bookcase last night, as well as running around all weekend long, I just did not have the energy. I'll have to take pictures once everything's all squared away, since I'm sure no one really wants to see our messy bookshelves... :) It's nice, though, both in the bedroom and in the office. There's lots of space for both of us, plus there's all kinds of floor space still. In the bedroom, there's a big long strip up against the windows that's now open--we're going to shift everything that way a little bit, and buy another shelf to put in there. The TV stand is still on the list, as is a new coffee table for the living room, since the one we have is a little bit wobbly.

There are a few annoyances--this room has a LOT of light, which is great, unless it's midafternoon and you're trying to type, while still keeping the window open to let the breeze in.

I put my PC beneath the spare glass-top end table (from the same coffee table set mentioned above), closer to the UPS, but the end tableis configured in such a way that I have to reach up and under to get at the CD rom drive. No big deal, just a minor annoyance that I may want to change at some point or another.

All in all, I'm glad that we're starting to get settled again. The nesting impulse hit pretty strongly, and it's still there enough for me to want to give stuff another thorough cleaning (like, say, the kitchen), but it's nice to have this squared away. It's just...really nice, *pleasant*, when the home-space is situated.

Go me!

(Take three, grumble. Browser windows and ctrl-w do not mix.)

I am now a licensed California driver, I even have a little piece of paper that says so! Passed my test and only missed one, took a crappy mug shot, and don't get the actual *license* license for 60-90 days. I'm amazed, though, at the stupidity of some of the people in the office. I actually had all my paperwork there and ready when it was my turn. There was one guy in front of me in the test grading line who could barely comprehend basic English commands like 'read line A1 out loud.' It took the guy behind the counter six different repeats and the Chinese guy about three minutes of shuffling before he managed to read the line. Repeat this four times, and you can understand the frustration of the guy behind the counter. BUT. I am licensed, finally. No more having to go to WA to get my renewal (which, admittedly, I only had to do once), it's all set. Go me.

This weekend saw us converting the now-spare bedroom into an office, and dealing with the second bathroom. We also did some carpet cleaning, and oh my god, I am impressed by the Rug Doctor, but also kind of nauseated by having to empty out the tank. It's amazing how dirty carpet can get. But there are a few spots that look MUCH better, yay.

Got a new desk for Brett, two new shelves (one display-type shelf and one bookshelf), both for the office. One of the sets of shelves is glass, matches the desk, and we've got some display-type stuff on it, as well as the hub, firewall, and phone. The other shelf is more a bookshelf type, and I got to bitch at it yesterday while putting it together. I swear to god, people who make ready-to-assemble furniture are sick, sadistic fucks. :)

Also bought a TV/DVD combo for the bedroom. We're planning on getting DirecTV, so it'll be nice to have another TV around to watch, plus it's nice to have some background noise sometimes.

We also got some stuff for the second bathroom--our bathroom is green tones, this one is now blue tones. Dark blue rug and shower curtain liner, smoky marbled blue shower curtain, frosted glass soap dish and wastebasket, and a plant in the windowsill.

In other words, it was a *very* productive weekend, and that should be followed by a pretty productive week, since we're still not done yet. :)

Friday Five, 5/2/03

1. Name one song you hate to admit you like.
Don't Worry, Be Happy, Bobby McFerrin. Yeah, shut up. :) No lyrics here, but all the rest have them.

2. Name two songs that always make you cry.
The Baby, Blake Shelton.
Baby Mine, from Dumbo (yeah, the Disney movie, you got a problem with that? :), doesn't matter who sings it. I blame my mother.

3. Name three songs that turn you on.
Shed Your Skin, Indigo Girls. Can't explain why, it just does. Probably Amy's voice during part of it.
One Slip, Pink Floyd (scroll down to see the lyrics). I don't really have to explain this one, do I?
Deep, Moody Blues. This is another one that should make complete sense after if you read the lyrics.

4. Name four songs that always make you feel good.
This Is The Moment, Moody Blues.
Closer To Fine, Indigo Girls
One, Creed (and if you give me shit for liking Creed, I'll hurt you! :)
Stone In Love, Journey.

5. Name five songs you couldn't ever do without. (I lied, no lyrics for this section, either.)
With Your Love, Journey.
Now, Def Leppard.
Silent Lucidity, Queensryche.
Boat Drinks, Jimmy Buffett.
Remember, Greg Kihn Band.

Two for the price of one.

Tuesday This or That, for 4/20 and 4/29.

April 22nd's This or That

1. Yummier: Chocolate ice cream or strawberry cheesecake? Chocolate ice cream.

2. Better to watch on TV: Movies or sports? That's a toss-up. If it's football, basketball, or hockey, then sports.

3. A better web browser: MSIE or Netscape (or tell us your own favorite!) Ugh. Neither, but I use MSIE, because Netscape annoys me too much these days.

4. A better way to travel: Automobile or bus/train? Automobile, definitely. I have this big love affair with my car. Don't ask. :)

5. Your preferred camera: Digital or film? Digital. I love that I can take a picture and show it to someone within ten minutes.

6. A Cooler Vehicle: Motorcycle or sports car? Sports car!

7. More fun: Video games or board games? Video games, but only because I'm currently up to my ears in Kingdom Hearts. :)

8. Sexier: A perfect body or an intelligent mind? An intelligent mind, definitely. A perfect body's nice and all, but I'd hope for conversation more scintillating than 'HULK SMASH!'

9. A stinkier smell: Skunk or gasoline (petrol)? Ew, skunk.

10. Thought-provoking question of the week: What is more important to you: making a ton of money and being at the top of your field, or finding your soulmate and living a comfortable but not wealthy life? Money's nice, but you can't curl up with it at night, it can't hold you in its arms while you cry and tell you that everything's going to be okay, it can't be tolerant when you're snarky, and love you in spite of your faults.

April 29th's This or That

1. Lying down on the couch, or stretching out on a recliner? Lying down on a couch. Unless it's the puke green leather recliner that my mom's boyfriend has, because it's incredibly comfortable.

2. Going barefoot or wearing soft slippers? Barefoot, definitely. My feet get icky.

3. Eating ice cream, or pizza? Ice cream. Preferably chocolate, thank you.

4. Watching on TV...a classic movie or a reality show? Classic movie. Unless it's MTV's Fear.

5. Wearing: blue jeans or sweat pants? Sweat pants.

6. A long, soothing bubble bath or a quick, invigorating shower? Hrrrmm. That's a difficult one, actually, but I guess I'd have to say shower.

7. Furniture: leather, or something more on the fuzzy side? Something more on the fuzzy side. I spent too much time in hot climates to be comfortable on leather, knowing I'm going to tear off at least one layer of skin when I stand up.

8. Soft, classical music, or upbeat rock & roll? Upbeat rock and roll, most of the time. Soft, classical stuff when I need to sleep.

9. Darkness or light? Darkness. The better to see the stars.

10. Thought-provoking question of the week: You get married, or otherwise begin cohabitating with a significant other. S/he moves into your place, but brings with them the UGLIEST chair you have ever seen! You really don't want this thing in your home, but SO says it is the most comfy chair s/he has ever sat in, and no way will they part with it. Do you: grin and bear it, or scheme to get rid of the montrosity somehow? Heh! Grin and bear it. Who knows, maybe it IS the most comfy chair in the world. Besides, isn't compromise what a relationship is all about?

The hell?

Okay, two things.

1. What the HELL is up with the weather out here? I mean, has it always been like this, because I sure as hell don't remember it this way. It's almost May for chrissake, shouldn't it be warmer than 43 freaking degrees outside when I walk out to my car? Yeah, trust me, I know how cold it gets in other parts of the country and that 43 degrees seems like a heat wave. Out here, though, it's not. And it's not only the temperature, either, it's the fact that it has rained almost every day for the past week. *That* is weird.

I shouldn't complain, because the cool weather means our apartment doesn't get so gawd-awful hot in the afternoons. Still...

2. I just bought plane tickets for us to go back to Boston after our wedding, and paid almost $800 for tickets four months in advance. What the hell is up with that? I thought the airlines were hurting for passengers. I can see why, since they persist in charging outrageous fees--and let's not even talk about the bullshit 'September 11th Security Fee,' which I've ranted about before.

So much for a trip to Raleigh in June, unless it's *late* June, and Southwest still has cheap fares, by some miracle.

Cleaning Frenzy.

Have you ever noticed that there are just a few things that are remarkably conducive to allowing someone to just think stuff out? Or to allow the mind to wander til you're not really thinking about anything in particular, but yet there are some great ideas born of that not-quite-active thought? There are actually a lot of activities like that for me--mindless data entry's definitely one of them, but since I've got a job that's quite a bit more intensive these days, I haven't been able to do that for awhile.

Driving does it, too, though to a lesser extent...if I'm ever off on a long drive with nowhere to go, it's probably because I've got stuff I need to think about and work out, for whatever reason. And yeah, I do actually talk to myself a lot when that happens. But *that* is the subject for another entry.

There are household-type chores that get me, too--when I lived at home, we had a yard, and mowing the lawn was always great for that. Recently, housecleaning has started to do it, which is a little weird for me...

I swear, it has to be my mother's influence...I hate to clean! I used to, anyway, and I doubt I've changed all -that- much over the years. Still, something about it...

Today, for example. Now that technocowboy has moved out to live with lonespiritwolf2 (and by the way, I'm really happy for them both!), when I got home this afternoon, I just got this urge, the kind that's just utterly impossible to ignore...I just HAD to clean. That's definitely a Mom thing, she was the one who talked about toilets, and how she couldn't ever move into a place without cleaning the bathroom, no matter how clean it was when she got there. Ugh. Bathroom. That's the worst one of them all, too, but it was there, and I couldn't ignore it, and...there you have it.

Naturally, most of my mind-wandering is stuff that I don't remember, though I have to admit that it's sort of disappointing, because I think I had some good potential essays in there somewhere. I do remember thinking about my grandparents, though, and how upset I was to lose that bit of writing I'd saved just before my old hard drive went tits up...and I really am upset about it. In spite of what my mom said, that's not something I'm ever going to be able to duplicate. There's no way I'll be able to sit down and write those words and feel those feelings all over again, and it's how I feel when I'm writing something that really defines how the piece will turn out. It's my own fault, knowing how important it was going to be to me, I should've thought to make a backup, but...

I also thought some about my father, who I've basically ignored since he called to tell me about my grandpa. I do intend to go out to Raleigh at some point, hopefully within the next month or two, but I *don't* intend to tell him I'm there. I keep trying to think about what I'd do if I happen to run into him, since I'm going to pay my respects, but then I remind myself to try not to worry about it. If it happens, it happens.

Wedding plans are also moving right along. I finally got a block of hotel rooms booked, whick takes another load off my mind. I still have a whole lot of stuff to do, more than I really want to think about, but I seem to be doing pretty well so far...I just wish theknot.com wouldn't very cheerfully remind me of how many days are left. 130 days *seems* like a long time, but in the scheme of things? Not. Not even. Next up for the wedding, tickets to Boston, for the east coast reception.

There were other things that came to mind, of course--MUSH, what to do with the extra room that we've got, next year's hockey season, this year's NBA and NHL playoffs...when my mind goes into full overdrive mode, it really does know how to work. :)

Time for me to close up here, too, I think, since I've managed to say essentially nothing throughout this whole post. Score one for inane babble!

It's definitely Monday.

An eventful morning so far--I'd forgotten about the irritation I discussed with a co-worker of mine after I left last night, and ended up dealing with the full brunt of it this morning. Let's just say I've spent the past three and a half hours working on one single client, while trying to balance phone calls and ticket updates in the meantime. The end is in sight, though!

I've discovered something over the past few work days--I have a real tendency to mumble to myself while I'm working. I've probably always done it, but for some reason, have just noticed it now. Weird. Weird, but also indicative of my work Tourettes, I suppose. 'Fuck. Nonono, FUCK, dammit. Shit. Aw man, fuck a monkey.' And so forth. All relatively quiet, but enough that people probably *could* hear it, if they were paying attention. Oops.

Random comment for the day: It's a real pain in the ass when you finally get your first bathroom break of the morning and, distracted by various stuff while you walk in, you only realize that the bathroom light is OFF when the door starts to slam shut behind you. 'Hey! Heyhey, wait, dark!'

Duh.

Friday Five, 4/25/03

1. What was the last TV show you watched?

Uh, show? You mean, like, *show* show, or can I just say that the last thing I watched was hockey the other night? That kind of counts, doesn't it? But if you're talking about a *show*, the last thing I watched was The Most Outrageous TV Game Show Moments, Part 2. (I shouldn't be surprised that there was a part two, or that there's going to be a part *four* next month, which means there's a part three somewhere, because I know that people can be dumb, but sheesh!)

2. What was the last thing you complained about and what was the problem?

I can't really answer this one, at the risk of making it seem like all I ever do is complain. That's not entirely true. :)

3. Who was the last person you complimented and what did you say?

Anna, in our apartment complex office, complimenting her shirt (specifically the color), and how nice it looked on her. Royal purple velvety-type stuff. Nice.

4. What was the last thing you threw away?

An empty soda bottle. This is a boring question, it should be something like 'what was the last *meaningful* thing you threw away,' but then, maybe that was the intent, and I'm being too picky and too literal. :)

5. What was the last website (besides this one) that you visited?

www.fark.com -- check out the Google photoshop contest, some of the stuff in there made me laugh my ass off. :)

New Digs.

So, Brett created a blog for me last night, after much discussion. Today, I finally picked out a name for it, since 'Sweetie's Blog' may be cute and all, but doesn't really mean much to anyone else who might read it. Not that I anticipate that anyone other than Brett *will* read it, but still. :)

I should point out right at the outset that I owe the inspiration for the blog's title to Kip Winger (yes, of the 80s band Winger), who released a solo album awhile back of the same name. No infringement is intended, and if I ever get a cease and desist letter, please know that I'll abide by it pretty damn quick. I like the idea, though, and at some point, I'll probably write an entry about why that is.

I'm still musing on the whole purpose of the blog. I put in a secondary description, though, which I think covers it pretty well. I've always loved writing, so most of it should be fairly self-explanatory.

The music thing...I guess I've mentioned it before, though probably mostly in passing. Music has always played a big part of my life, and maybe more than people realize, so one of the things I'll probably post about here is related to that. I'll also probably put up concert and album reviews, stuff like that, but in truncated entries and with warning flags about the *type* of music they discuss, since I know that not all my friends are interested in the same type of music that I am.

For now, though...this ought to be an interesting adventure, especially for someone who's only ever used livejournal! Sit back and enjoy the ride, I guess? :)