And here I thought disabling comments would take care of the comment spam problem. But no, they're getting smarter, so not only do I still have my comments disabled for now (sorry! requires HUGE template change for me to fix it because the MT upgrade didn't auto-convert templates, so I'll get to it when I get to it), I'm also getting spam in trackback pings.
It never ends. :)
I've probably written about this before, either here or on Livejournal, but back when I was in jr. high or high school, the PTBs were running this thing called PACE - Positive Attitude Changes Everything. It was eyeroll-worthy even then, but all the little stuff they wanted us to do was just...laughable, really, especially for the social misfits like me. Give a compliment to someone you see in the hallway, find something to be happy about and pass it on, whatever. What they forgot was that some people were made happy by the endless tormenting of us misfits, but that's a story for another time.
Even though the whole PACE thing makes me roll my eyes, I also can't really argue with it. Negative attitude does the same thing, for me--if I'm in a pissy mood, even the smallest things will reinforce it.
Today is one of those days, and I had myself already worked up before I even got to work, thinking about...well, just crappy work stuff. My manager's peers and his boss are all in town today, and several things that have happened since the current regime (my boss's boss) took over still rankle, even though they happened a couple of years ago. It's made worse by things that have been said recently, too, and thinking about that this morning just got me all kinds of pissed off.
Now, all the little things that would ordinarily make me roll my eyes and move along are now just adding fuel to the fire and making me ready to snap.
... Like the fact that one of my co-workers removing the note in the group's calendar that she was late on Monday, even though...hello...she was late! She even called to say that she'd be in late!
... Like two separate clients of mine, who I've provided detailed information for, are pestering me for status requests, even though *I* am waiting for *them*, but I can't politely remind them that I've already asked for more information in order to troubleshoot their problem, oh noooooo, this has to be all MY fault.
... Like the fact that we're having a damn 'diversity' potluck today AT ALL, not to mention the fact that it's scheduled for noon, which means I can either eat late and starve, or eat at my scheduled time and skip the lunch (though at least I brought my dish, but that also pisses me off, mutter)--but, of course, skipping it means that my manager will get into trouble, because gee, the fact that someone has, oh, WORK to do is clearly less important than showing up and...
*cough*
See what I mean? It all just starts to roll together.
I'm trying to remind myself of the PACE thing--perhaps not the specific program at school, but of the general methodology and philosophy.
I'm trying very hard to find my happy place today. I don't want to be a snarly, black mass of annoyance and 'don't come near me' vibes today. It's far too exhausting.
If only I could have stayed home in bed.
Much as I love the original template I had for the blog, I've been tossing around the idea of finding something new for awhile, and I finally found it. This lovely template is from the folks at Blogfrocks, and I'm still in the process of tweaking it here and there, but it looks like everything's working okay.
If you notice anything missing, please let me know.
Oh yes, comments are still broken (and the comment link from the main page brings up the old color scheme, I'll have to look at that later), but I think that may be an issue with the template itself, since my TypeKey stuff seems to be set up correctly. As always, please email or comment in the LJ RSS feed to give feedback on entries.
Okay, this is likely to get me labeled as a completely horrible person by a lot of my friends, but I am quite annoyed at something, and given that this is MY webspace, I am going to rant about it. If you don't want to read me snarking, then go somewhere else and don't read this post.
Believe me, I have no end of sympathy for what happened on December 26th in Southeast Asia. I can't even begin to fathom the destruction, really--and my god, 150,000 people is just staggering to me. The entire population of the city in which I live is just over 100,000, I believe, so to imagine every single resident of this city--and another more than half on top of that--is just...well. Staggering, unbelievable, incredible--and not in the good connotation of the word, either.
Yes, I have sympathy. Yes, I've seen video footage and pictures of the destruction, I've read eyewitness accounts, I've followed a couple of news stories about a couple of specific families. It's heartbreaking.
However.
I'm really starting to get annoyed at being continually bombarded with requests for money. Yeah, actually, I *do* get that these people's lives have been pretty much destroyed, believe it or not. And hey, guess what, I made a donation to the Red Cross through Amazon on the first day they had the link up. I'm trying to save for school and a honeymoon and support myself as well as try to finance a home-based business, but all of that is really small potatoes, in the end, so how could I not give money? For me, it was a given.
I am, however, extremely tired of having to explain this part to the people who are constantly hitting me up for money.
There are links *everywhere*. Amazon still has theirs up, but it's not the full page thing. Weight Watchers has a link. CNN has a link. There are radio commercials for it all over the place. The local TV stations are carrying commercials as well, and the TV ads annoy me *almost* as much as...
...the group of 20 or so people who are on my college campus EVERY SINGLE DAY. The TV commercials show pictures of the destruction and the children and won't you please consider giving money, and here, let us show you all this stuff so that we can make you feel guilty for being what you are, for having what you have, for living where you live, because we KNOW that if you feel guilty, you'll give us more money. At least I can turn those off.
But the people on campus are even worse. They've also got pictures, but not only that, they've got sob stories, and they've got this way of looking at their prey that is designed to make people feel like they're utterly horrible if someone should happen to say no--and that's exactly what I feel like. Prey.
I've seen it happen to other people, I've seen it directed to me. 99 percent of the time, everyone who walks by says that they've already donated--and while I'm sure that there may be some who haven't but are just saying they have to make the solicitors go away, I think that, for the most part, people are being truthful.
Except that's not enough. "Are you sure you can't give more? Have you seen..." Cue the flashing of the pictures, and the horror stories about the children, or disease, or lack of food and shelter, or lack of medical care, everything.
The campus is still blanketed with them, and not only that, but there are a ton of them from different groups--and again, it's not enough that you gave money to the Red Cross, but no, Save The Children also wants money, as does UNICEF, and CARE, and Habitat For Humanity International. Each time anyone passes, they're solicited for a donation, no matter if they just said no to another organization not two feet away, or hell, even the SAME organization two feet away.
Worse than the ones who line the walkways are the ones that come into the cafeteria--three nights, I have been in the cafeteria between classes, and each night, the SAME WOMAN has made the rounds of the room at least four times in the 45 minutes that I sit there. Every single time, she hits me up for money, even though she's already done it before. I don't expect her to know that she saw me last Tuesday, of course--how could I? But that I'm sitting in the same spot in the cafeteria all four times she passes by? I mean, come on.
It's horrible, it makes me feel like an awful person, but jesus christ, it's enough to make me NOT want to contribute the next time anything like this happens, because I am just SO TIRED of this. If they were more polite, I'd be fine with it, but the presumption from some that I'm lying when I say I've already donated, and the flat out rudeness of others, it just galls me.
Ugh.
It's very odd to me that there is something about almost everything lately that reminds me of North Carolina. How's that for a convoluted sentence? But seriously...
It was James Taylor a couple of weeks ago, and today, it's the wild storm that's dumping a ton of rain, but has also brought brilliant flashes of lightning and booming rolls of thunder along with it.
We don't get thunderstorms very often out here--I have to confess, that's one of the biggest things I miss about both NC and Utah both. In Utah, living on the east benches as we were, I got to watch the storm clouds stack up over the Great Salt Lake until they were so heavy with precipitation that they were almost black. The lightning was a spectacle, but it was the thunder that really made an impression. It would roll in and echo off the mountains behind the house, roll *back* across the valley and echo across those mountains, and...the process would repeat itself. The sound would fade with each echo, yes, but it always seemed like it'd take forever for the thunder to die off.
In NC, the thunderstorms would happen pretty often during the summer, and I remember days when I'd be at home, and it'd be sunny when I went into the barn, and pouring rain when I came back out. The lightning was more impressive there--there were flashes that hit pretty close to the house that were just blinding.
I've been watching the lightning this morning--by now, almost an hour since I actually started the post, it's gone--and it just...reminds me.
Memory is such a strange thing.
You'd think, with all the bullshit going on inside the NHL (and don't even get me started on that) that I'd actually have something approaching free time, since there's no season going on, wouldn't you? The strange thing is, I feel like I've been busy for a few months now, even though I know that's not true. Weird.
It's about to get even busier, however--winter quarter starts today, and I officially start classes tomorrow. I still want to pursue something from University of Phoenix (for the time being), but I need to finish up some elective work before I can do that, so back to DeAnza I go. This quarter, I have:
History of the United States to the Early National Era. United States civilization to early National Era. A survey of the social, cultural, political, economic and intellectual development of the Colonial Era with emphasis on the era of the American Revolution, the development of the Constitution, and the role of the major ethnic, social and gender groups in the American experience.
American Government and Politics. Critical examination of the contemporary and historical struggle for the development of democratic political institutions in the United States at the state, local, and national levels. Particular emphasis given to the conflict between traditional elite's versus historically disenfranchised social groups (women, people of color, and workers) in the conduct of U.S. political life. (You know, I think my concerns about this class may be valid, and I haven't even attended yet.)
Not only that, but I'm hoping to get my business up and running--gone live, so to speak, within the next few days. I kept telling people that it'd be after the first of the year, and well, this is after the first of the year, to be sure. I just need a few more pictures, then I think I may be set. I'm sure there are a ton of things I've forgotten, but I'm sure those will be taken care of in due time. The question will be whether I can handle all that without freaking out.
But wait! There's more!
I've waffled about getting back into dealing with horses--riding, driving, whatever--for quite awhile. Being back in contact with Ann again has fueled that desire even further, so I've finally gone and done something about it. There's a farm on the way to Casa de Renfaire that I admire horses from every time we pass by--well, they're Morgans, I found out, the same breed I used to spend my summers with. I sent them an email just to see what's involved, so I may end up with that on my plate, too.
I also have a trade show in Tucson that I'm headed to in the first week of February, and we are fiiiiiinally taking our honeymoon--Kona Village the first week in May.
All while trying to work a full time job, not to mention spending time with my wonderful husband and my equally awesome friends.
I think I may just be loading my plate a bit too heavily. We'll see how it turns out. School and work need to take first priority, of course--I really do need to get my ass in gear, as far as school is concerned. I've made so many attempts to go back that it's just laughable now.
In spite of all of that, I have no resolution for the new year, really, except the desire to make sure that this year is better than last, but that's well within my realm of control. I just have to be sure to take it.