A lot to talk about, not much to say.
That's how I feel about life lately, and it's really hard to describe why. There's a whole bunch going on--wedding plans are moving along, work, politics, current events, and just plain old stuff that I keep thinking I might want to write about at some point, but none of it ever finds a voice.
For some of that, it's easy. I don't like to talk about politics, because even though I probably *do* have an opinion, it's not something I feel comfortable holding up to debate. Sure, I have a lot to say about Roe wanting to overturn the Roe v. Wade decision, but how coherently can I say what I mean? And how well can I defend what I say, since ALL of it would be based on how I personally feel about this stuff?
Same thing with Iraq, and how I feel about people calling Bush 'The Shrub,' and comparing him to Hitler, all that stuff. I have opinions...but they're exactly that. *Opinions*. I'll be the first to admit that they're not terribly informed, and I guess the real travesty, to a lot of people, is that I don't care about changing that. The easiest way for me to answer that is to say that my life is a lot simpler and a lot easier, not worrying about that.
(Ah-ha! Here is how to fool the brain into writing! Trick it, say you have nothing to talk about, and just type!)
Anyway, that post was started almost two weeks ago, and it never ended up in the blog. Life is still moving along at the same pace...which is both good and bad, in equal measure. Good that I don't have anything to complain about, bad because it makes me realize just how boring a person I really am. :)
My birthday's coming up this week, and I've already had a couple of people ask me how I feel about that--it'll be my 30th. Here's the thing: I don't, really. To me, it's just another year, just another number. It's not something I use to define myself. When I was a kid, I always acted older than my age...people were assuming that I was in my thirties by the time I was eighteen. I guess it's about time that my chronological age finally catch up to the way I have sometimes presented myself.
Oh, and before you ask, I really don't have much of an idea what I want. My mom's sending me something, but I don't know what that is. For the truly curious and persistent, I have a wish list at Amazon.com. Some of that stuff isn't out yet, some of it's unavailable, but...anyway. I don't post that because I'm expecting gifts--I'm not. I hate posting stuff like this, because I always feel really awkward about it. I just know that at least one person has asked Brett what I want for my birthday, and I don't think *he* knows, either, so...here you go. :)
Other random comments:
Diablo 2 is evil.
Matrix Reloaded...wow. We saw that today, and man. Such a pungent pile of shit that I had to smell my clothes when I left, to make sure the stink didn't follow me. My opinion, of course, but I am so thoroughly unimpressed. I have to see the last one, if only to resolve the storyline, but I won't see it in the theater, nor will I buy either of them.
Saw some trailers for some movies that I'm looking forward to: Radio, with Cuba Gooding Jr. and Ed Harris. Veronica Guerin with Cate Blanchett. Ooh, and we saw the Boob Raider preview, along with Terminator 3 and Pirates of the Caribbean. I still have yet to see some movies that I'd *like* to see, but we're getting there, slowly.
And...that's about it. :)
This Or That, Thursday June 26th.
1. Surf sites at random, or have a set list of regular reads?
2. Do you visit mostly blogs, or news or other sites?
3. Do you go online every day, or just a couple of days a week?
4. Do you allow comments on your blog, or not?
5. Do you shop online at all, or at regular stores?
6. Have you ever done online bill-paying/banking, or not?
7. Which news site do you prefer... MSNBC.com or CNN.com? Or do you prefer some other one?
8. Live chat rooms, or message boards?
9. Instant messaging or e-mail?
10. Yes or no: have you ever met, or at least talked on the phone with, another blogger? If not, would you want to? Why or why not?
Answers below:
1. Surf sites at random, or have a set list of regular reads? Mostly, I have a list of regular reads, but I do some random surfing every once in awhile.
2. Do you visit mostly blogs, or news or other sites? That's hard to say, I read a lot of different stuff.
3. Do you go online every day, or just a couple of days a week? Every day, unless I'm away from home.
4. Do you allow comments on your blog, or not? Sure, why not? I don't get many comments, but it's interesting to see what people have to say.
5. Do you shop online at all, or at regular stores? Both. I shop online when I can, but I also shop in regular stores for a lot of things, as well.
6. Have you ever done online bill-paying/banking, or not? Yep. Much more convenient.
7. Which news site do you prefer... MSNBC.com or CNN.com? Or do you prefer some other one? I usually visit CNN.com, as well as bayarea.com, the local paper.
8. Live chat rooms, or message boards? What is MUSH, but one big live chatroom? :)
9. Instant messaging or e-mail? I prefer email, but use IM for stuff at work, and to talk to other people.
10. Yes or no: have you ever met, or at least talked on the phone with, another blogger? If not, would you want to? Why or why not? Heh! Several other bloggers came to my house for dinner on Sunday. The man I'm marrying is a blogger. I think it's safe to say that I've not only talked on the phone with, not only *met*, but have spent a great deal of time around them.
So, Sunday, as promised, I cooked teriyaki flank steak. I'm glad I went to the store to buy another--there were six of us, and only one strip of meat left by the time all was said and done.
Saturday afternoon, as I was just starting to get into my copy of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, I realized that I hadn't yet put the meat in to marinate. Alas. :) I took a quick trip to the store--and what *is* it with these places that some of them don't carry flank steak? It took me four tries before I finally found what I wanted, but I got it.
Home again, home again, to make the teriyaki and put the steak in. I love making this stuff, it makes the kitchen smell wonderful. I also hate making it, because my hands smell like garlic for days later...and garlic is rather sticky when you put it through the press.
In the end, we had a delicious dinner (I think). Teriyaki steak, grilled. Fresh corn on the cob. Rice. Dinner rolls. And cake for dessert. One of the things I love most about cooking is that moment when everyone's served themselves and started to eat. You can tell right away whether they like it, because there's this moment of absolute silence, but for the noise of cutlery on plates.
I'll have to tell my mom, her steak was a hit, once again.
Interested in the recipe? See below:
In a pot, mix the following items:
2-3 cloves of garlic (or to taste, we use a little more, crushed or run through garlic press)
1 tablespoon fresh grated ginger (pare back the brownish skin first)
1 cup soy sauce
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1/4 to 1/2 cup brown sugar (to taste, depending on how sweet you want it)
Warm over low to medium-low heat, until warm, to blend flavors. If desired, strain off a small portion of the sauce for dipping.
Tenderize flank steak (both sides) by cutting a cross-hatch pattern diagonal to the grain of the meat (so you'll end up having diamond shapes). Put steak into air-tight container (Mom uses ziploc bags, I used a pyrex bowl with an air-tight lid), pour prepared liquid into said container, close. Place container in refrigerator. Every few hours (or whenever it crosses your mind) shake the bag/bowl to spread sauce.
Steak can be broiled or grilled, cook to taste.
Oh, and can I just say that Henry Weinhard is a fucker?
We've had some of the Black Cherry Cream Soda, saw it at the store last weekend and started drooling at the very thought. I went through three bottles of the stuff in probably about an hour. Damn good. Must have more. If you like cherry flavored stuff...highly recommended. It's really tasty stuff and not quite so tooth-itchingly sweet as the Vanilla Cream (I thought--and don't get me wrong, I like the Vanilla Cream too!).
Yum. But dammit. Add this to the garlic craving, and I am in serious trouble.
Anyone interested in coming to our place for grilled teriyaki steak for dinner Sunday?
It's so easy to tell, you know, when you live occasionally upwind from Gilroy, Garlic Capitol Of The World...
One of the things that makes living in the Bay Area similar to living in Seattle is the marine layer of clouds that sometimes makes itself at home after dark. In Seattle, it's humid enough and backed up by enough *real* clouds that it rains frequently--if you can call that 'ack, someone's using a squirt bottle on mist up in the sky again, mooooommmmm!' thing rain. And, of course, there's the fact that the fog burns off around here. Sometimes it might not burn off until later in the afternoon, but it usually burns off, and it's extremely rare (so I hear, and so I've experienced over the past (oh cripes has it been) seven years (already!)) for it to rain here during the 'dry season.'
But the fog is still present, and it sometimes takes the edge off the heat of the day, which is nice. It also tends to make the mornings a little more humid, and it's out of this vaguely humid morning air that the smell comes...
It's subtle for the first breath, when your senses are still full of home and your mind's distracted by being late, or by the person you left sleeping, or by what you've got to do at work when you get there, or a million other things, but it's there.
Two steps away from the door, it hits in full force, that same damp air, but the scent is suddenly *there*, it fills your nostrils, and whether or not you were hungry just a second or two ago, you're now starving, *ravenous*, for something...something, *anything* that has garlic in it.
The smell lingers all the way to work, and hits again on the way to the door of the office. Inside, it's not quite so bad, but the air conditioning is fed by air from the outside, so there's this underlying scent--not powerful, not overt, but still enough to be noticable, still enough to keep your stomach rumbling, 'please, ohmygod, please, you have to feed me now!'
Eventually, as with all things, the smell goes unnoticed--not because it's not present, but because you're used to it now. There's a term for it, I learned it in my psychology class, but it escapes me. And even though the smell may be gone, the hunger, the craving remains.
Maybe I should make Mom's teriyaki again, soon.
I have run out of things of substance to say.
Well, okay, that's not true. I'm just in a really strange place right now, brain-wise. Fractured, sort of. Unfocused. Hard to explain.
I think my body's still adjusting to the shift in schedule, and being sick hasn't really helped.
So, instead of writing anything real (there's some actual content in progress at home, really)...here's a Thursday lemming.
Onesome: Potter- Which Harry Potter character is your favourite? Why do you like him or her?
It's hard to pick just one, because they've all got good traits and bad traits--which makes them all more real, of course, but...I don't know. I think I'll cheat a little and just choose Hedwig. :)
Twosome: Publication- Is there one publication that you just have to read? A paper you read daily, a magazine you read weekly or monthly? Newsletters? And do you buy it for the articles, or just to look at the pictures? ;) Whatever it is, tell us about it!
Publication? Not really, nothing in print that I absoultely *have* to read--not anymore. Used to be Circus and Hit Parader and that stuff, and I probably had the biggest scrapbook collection of Def Leppard articles outside of their parents. Or maybe not. :)
As far as websites go, Tomato Nation is a must. She updates weekly, when she's not having problems with old sites vs. new sites...hopefully it'll be fixed soon.
Threesome: Party!- The festivities begin tomorrow night in bookstores across the US and England, (and elsewhere too, probably!) with fun and games for the kid in all of us. Do you plan to be there standing in the queue when the clock strikes midnight to pick up your copy of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix?
I have a copy reserved at Borders, but I also have a copy coming from Amazon, so I'll probably just let the one at Borders go, get some sleep tomorrow night, and just spend all day Saturday on pins and needles waiting for the mail to show up. And pissed off if it doesn't. ;) I don't want to pay for the book twice, though, otherwise I'd seriously consider going to Borders and getting *that* copy.
Sometimes, the interal filter is a *good* thing.
Like when you walk out of your part of the office to go talk to someone else, see a co-worker standing in profile, and come *this close* || to expressing, out loud, surprise that she's pregnant again and wondering when she's due.
Being a woman, you'd think I'd know better than that in the first place. I'm still just so thankful that the brain engaged before the mouth did, this time.
Sometimes, it's just a song that prompts me to write.
It was your birthday, back in 1992, that was the first time I remember that we talked. You'd logged into Lower Lights with 'birthday' somewhere in your name--Birthday Bohemian, wasn't it? I wished you a happy birthday, and we talked, a little. My memory has always been full of holes, and the timing of things gets lost somewhere in the translation, but I still remember that. I still remember, too, the first time I saw you--and how you look almost the same now as you did then...I wish I could say the same for myself.
I remember gaming, and how mortified I was to realize that you gamed with people I'd gone to junior high with--two of whom I'd had schoolgirl crushes on...that I promptly fell back into. How I made a fool of myself more than once in the middle of all that, but I'm probably the only one who remembers how anymore.
I remember Friday Night Coffees, and the time you told me that Indigo Girls had a new album coming out, and I had no idea who they were. I can still remember your face, when I said that--the amused/horrified look. Later that summer, the three of us went to the concert, surrounded by lesbians making out everywhere...or was it Libby and I who found you there? (See? My memory...)
I remember our brief stint at the West Valley Chorus, how self-conscious I was--so much so that I couldn't even sing in front of you...never mind that we'd been singing together for ages before that. How big an idiot I felt afterwards, and how much your voice moved the director, moved me. We were always singing, though--sometimes just the two of us, sometimes the three of us together.
I remember the unheated pool in March (wasn't it March? or was it April?), the need to swim, and the chill that chased us out of the water so quickly, back to the sanctuary of the hot tub. The snow, the music...and the love.
I thought nothing would ever come between us. I remember what it was like, the three of us together, how strong I felt, how much we laughed and shared and enjoyed each other's company. The triumphant triad. All my friendships since then have been measured up against it, and though I wouldn't ever say they've been found wanting...nothing has ever been the same.
And, of course, it was my fault that the trio broke up. Neither of you really liked him, and I couldn't understand until much later. That wasn't the whole of it, but some things are so painful even now that I can't even confess them to myself. He couldn't ever understand why I was so upset--some things, I didn't even tell him--and kept telling me that I'd get over it...which I did, after a fashion. I just learned to live without that part of my life, without the two people who meant more to me than my own family. Oh, how I wish I was a trinity, so that if I lost a part of me, I'd still have two of the same to live. And yet, by my own choice, I was the part that was lost.
It took me a long time to come back to my senses, and even when I did, I was afraid--not because of you, but because of myself. How would things be, now? I screwed up, I knew it, and if the positions were reversed, how would *I* feel? And then I saw you, and you smiled at me--that famous smile, the one everyone who knows you can see in their mind's eye right now--and it was like all that time and space between us had never existed. I couldn't bring myself to reach out to Libby, a mistake which I regret to this very day, but I'd never felt relief quite like I did when I climbed into that car with you and we drove off.
You helped me do what I needed to do, helped me obtain boxes and ferry them to the shipping store to get them sent. Took me to a travel agent to buy my ticket. Helped me escape for a few of those nights when the house was absolutely unbearable. I don't remember how much we talked about it, those years when we didn't see one another, I just remember how much it didn't matter, how much I didn't care.
The night before I left, it was cold, but the top was still off the Land Cruiser. We went to Arby's, because I had a craving, and then we went to Millcreek...which had always been our place (and still is--when I went back this last summer, I swear I could feel the two of you there with me). Still too early in the year for the road up top to be open, so we sat in the car, had our dinner, talked, and looked at the stars. Dark as it was, I was still embarrassed to sing, especially since there was no music for me to fall back on, and I could hear voices coming from somewhere in that night. Even after you started, the fear clutched and grabbed at me, but I joined you anyway. Not very well, but...
It was the best send-off I could have hoped for. My best friend beside me, singing a song we knew by heart, feeling my own heart lift just a little--*heal* just a little. So many years later, I still get goosebumps when I hear the song, and sometimes--like today--the memory is so overwhelming that it makes me cry.
Even though you dropped me off outside, when we came back, he knew it was you, and I almost laughed at the sour look on his face. I had my freedom, I had my friend, and he had nothing. Instead, I went to bed and cried myself to sleep--not with pain, but with the sheer joy of it, the promise of a new beginning, a new life for myself.
We sang again on the way to the airport, shouting really, above the wind in the still-topless 'Cruiser, and that euphoria surrounded me all the way to Washington.
You came to visit me up there once, but it's only because I remember you working for Southwest (was it Southwest?) that I even remember that much. But then...then, there was California.
The first time I saw you was October fifteenth, my company was having some sort of party, so I invited you up for lunch. I was going out later that night with some friends--with the man who eventually became my boyfriend, and I remember being all worked up about that. Amusingly, several of the people who saw us there together assumed that it was you I was so worked up about. But no...we'd settled that between us long before then, hadn't we?
I'll never forget the shock I felt when I realized you knew Brett (and the rest of them) from NERO, and *had* known them for quite some time before then. None of us ever made the connection, not Brett, and certainly not me.
I told Brett about the 'we just fall together' phenomenon, that we start up right where we left off, as if no time at all had passed since we last saw one another. He didn't believe me, until he saw it in action. What a day that was, though--Super Bowl Sunday. I won't forget that one, even though I wish I could.
And now...here I sit, twelve years later. You are my oldest and dearest friend, I can say that without hesitation. The gift of your friendship over the years is a blessing, and something that I won't ever forget.
i don’t know if it was real or in a dream
lately waking up i’m not sure where i’ve been
there was a table set for six and five were there
i stood outside and kept my eyes upon that empty chair
and there was steam on the windows from the kitchen
laughter like a language i once spoke with ease
but i’m made mute by the virtue of decision
i choose most of your life goes on without me
oh the fear i’ve known that i might reap the praise of strangers
and end up on my own
all i’ve sown was a song
but maybe i was wrong
i said to you the one gift which i’d adore
unwrap a package of the next 10 years unfolding
but you told me if i had my way i’d be bored
right then i knew i loved you best born of your scolding
when we last talked we were lying on our backs
looking up at the sky through the ceiling
i used to lie like that alone out on the driveway
trying to read the greek upon the stars
the alphabet of feeling
oh i knew back then
it was a calling that said if joy then pain
the sound of the voice these years later is still the same
i am alone in a hotel room tonight
i squeeze the sky out
but there’s not a star appears
begin my studies with this paper and this pencil
and i’m working through the grammar of my fears
mercy what i won’t give
to have the things that mean the most not to mean the things i miss
unforgiving the choice still is
the language or the kiss
Woohoo, got the paper today with which I am going to make our wedding invitations. It'll be a nice, light grey on the top, black text, cropped to about 6" x 8", fastened to this beautiful paper called Stardream in sapphire (thanks much to Clay and Brian for helping me choose the color!) that's the standard 8.5" x 11". Not fancy, perhaps, but the paper is beautiful, particularly the sapphire, and I think it will look nice, and elegant, even if it's home done. :) I'll see if I can get a scan of it at some point. :)
Hoorah for paperzone.com, and for the weddingplans community on Livejournal, who pointed me there.
This interview is from Xenobia at livejournal, who also has a blog.
Anyone else want an interview? Reply here, or on LJ!
1) Beading. How did it capture your attention, and when?
Crafting has always been something that has interested me, though I first started out with just counted cross-stitch. I tried to get into crocheting, but I couldn't ever get the hang of anything more complex than just the basic stitch. Then, I found Michael's, and here was heaven. :) At first, it was just the soap and candles, but then I bought a book on beaded bobby pins (a Klutz book), and another Klutz book just on beading in general, after wandering up and down the bead aisles of Michael's and drooling. They've started to get some higher quality beads in (though not as nice as some places), and when I saw that they were offering a class earlier this year, I took the opportunity. So, it really wasn't until about January or February of this year until my interest was really caught.
I guess what it comes down to is that I like to create. I put a piece of myself into everything I make, I like seeing how the things I visualize actually turn out once I finally get them made.
2) When not forced to be up before the sun because of work, are you by nature/choice a morning person or a night person?
A night person, generally. I've been a morning person for so long, though, that I've almost forgotten what that's like. I still get a taste of it once in awhile on the weekends...I miss the staying up late at night, and getting up late in the morning, because I associate it most closely with time spent with close friends, sitting together on the couch and just talking...or sitting up a canyon in a topless land cruiser in the mountains at the beginning of May, with the snow still heavy on the ground, looking at the stars and singing.
3) Are more of your closest friends male or female, or is the distrubution evenly split?
Most of my closest friends are male. In fact, I don't have a lot of female friends in general, and the very closest of my friends are all men--several of them gay men. :) That's generally been true throughout my life, except for two specific times, and unfortunately, those three women (Libby, Allie, and Lynette) aren't really a part of my life anymore, not in that way.
I'm not really sure why that is. I guess I could say that I'm more comfortable around men, but I'm not sure how true that statement is--I'm not very comfortable around a lot of people. I tend to be very private and prickly, quiet in larger groups of people (unless I know them welll--or have had too much to drink). I wonder, sometimes, if that drives people away.
4) What's one food (or dish) that you love, but don't get to have very often?
The chicken fettucini alfredo that I make. Brett doesn't like white sauces, but this is, for me, the ultimate in comfort food.
5) I'm sure this has been asked before, but why do you blog/LJ/keep a journal?
Purely for selfish reasons. :) I like to write, sometimes I *have* to write, to get whatever demons are in my head out. Sometimes I write just to babble, other times I write to remember, or to forget...the online LJ/blog gives me a way to write, but also to *share*, which is hard for me--most of my writing (especially the essay type things) is very personal, so it's just easier for me to know that it's there and it's up, so that other people can read, but I don't have to *watch* them while they do it. Does that make sense at all?
The Moody Blues have been a favorite of mine for ages. Decades, seriously. My stepdad once used one of their albums as an incentive for me during a softball game, but I don't even remember what the deal was, I just remember that I got it. I couldn't ever explain why I liked them so much, it's just that the music sounded good to me. That's so true of so many of the bands I like.
They were also the first band that I saw in concert, the first one I can remember. I'm told that my *real* first concert was Christopher Cross, at the age of four, but my mom was the one to tell me about that/remind me of it. I was thirteen, the first time I saw them in Salt Lake. I wanted to make sure that we got good seats, so my stepdad woke up early on Saturday to take me to the Smith's grocery store where I could wait in line to buy tickets. There were a few people there in front of me, but I didn't really care too much. The important part was that I was *there*.
I still remember a lot about that concert. It was still the five of them: Justin Hayward, John Lodge, Graeme Edge, Ray Thomas, and Patrick Moraz (who replaced original keyboardist Mike Pinder), and it was so cool. One of my friends was paid to babysit my brother (sooo weird for that, because it was usually my job), and my mom, my stepdad, and I all went. It was awesome--beyond words. I saw them again several times throughout the years, and more recently, have *missed* a lot of dates they've played nearby, here and at Lake Tahoe.
When I saw that they were going to be at the Mountain Winery in Saratoga, then, I bought a ticket as soon as I had the opportunity. No one local really wanted to go, and I didn't mind going by myself--I'd done so before a few times.
On Mountain Winery's page, they bill it as something like the world's most beautiful concert venue. Well, I'm not sure about *that*, but it is pretty damn spectacular. The drive to get up there is freaking scary, it's up in the mountains (er, thus the name, of course--sorry), and it's a twisty-turny road once you get up to the gates themselves. I almost drove off the road once, because there's a break at which you can see down into the valley, and...wow. Wow. Seriously wow.
So, yeah. Beautiful venue. The place is gorgeous, and there's no way I could do it justice. It smells nice up there in a lot of places--earth, you know. Growing things--the vines are *right there*. I walked around a little once they took my ticket, and eventually made my way down to my seat. Okay. Here's where I have one small gripe. The seats? They're tiny. Teeny tiny. The girl who sat next to me? About the size of a toothpick, and she filled up the seat. So, here's me, and...yeah. Needless to say, it was an uncomfortable first half of the concert, but once the music started...
The back-up musicians walked out first--the two keyboardists (one female), another woman carrying a guitar, and the second (and really primary) drummer. Then Justin, John, and Graeme walked out--and my first surprise: no Ray Thomas, the flutist. Weird.
They opened with Lovely To See You, which is a *great* opening number, I think: 'Lovely to see you again, my friend / Walk along with me to the next bend.' Next was Gemini Dream, another good touring number, and something I don't think I'd heard live before.
Two songs, and I'd forgotten about the skinny woman sitting next to me who got all sniffy and snarky when I sat down, forgot about the woman on my other side, whose hip was pressed up against mine, I was already gone.
Tuesday Afternoon, which is probably one of the two or three most popular, most widely known Moody Blues songs ever, and it sounded just amazing out there with the sun starting to go down.
Other high points:
Lean On Me (Tonight) from the Keys of the Kingdom CD, I wasn't expecting them to play anything from that one at all, so it's nice to see that album get face time.
The Actor. Oh my god, I thought I was going to melt into a little pile of goo hearing that song. It's my favorite off the In Search of the Lost Chord album, and I could never explain why. I had *never* heard this one live before, so...wow. Bliss.
Story In Your Eyes is always just amazing live, lots and lots of energy.
I'm Just A Singer (In A Rock and Roll Band) is one that everyone loves, and I can see why.
They played the other well-known hits, of course: Your Wildest Dreams (and its followup, I Know You're Out There Somewhere--interestingly, the second one was in the first half, and the first was in the second), Nights In White Satin (which most people can probalby recognize), along with Question and Ride My See Saw.
Other surprises: Higher And Higher, Stepping In A Slide Zone, and Are You Sitting Comfortably.
The music sounded just amazing, very tight--which it should, some of these guys have been playing together for a long time, and they've also been on tour for awhile this time around.
I was really surprised to see that Ray Thomas wasn't there, and sad that they didn't play a few of *his* songs, probably because of his absence. Turns out that he's decided not to tour anymore, though I don't have any more details than that. I missed seeing him up there...the man is just an amazing talent.
Justin was, as always, brilliant. He was much more animated than I've ever seen him--in the shows in Salt Lake, he was always pretty restrained, and I wonder how much of that was just the altitude. Thursday night, though, he was all smiles, waving to the audience, and dancing around on stage.
John...well. He wore those leather pants, which always cracks me up, because I can't see why a guy his age would still be wearing those things, but his prerogative! He can still hit the high notes, too, and wow...he's always just so personable up there, you know? The kind of guy you look at and think that you'd like to buy him a beer sometime.
There were two drummers, of course--every time I've seen them after the first, they've had that. I'm not sure why it is, but it's interesting--the guy who mans the kit and who does most of the primary drumming is really good, very energetic. Graeme kept waving at the kids sitting up in the box to his right, and he was wearing a denim shirt that, when he turned around, revealed a hula girl with a skirt that moved when he wiggled. Made me laugh. :) They were tossing sticks between the kits during Your Wildest Dreams, which was the first song of the second half.
The woman who's playing the flute in place of Ray Thomas is really good. I was all prepared not to like anything she played because it wasn't *him*, but...wow. Extremely talented, and I hope that she keeps on touring with them, if his decision is a permanent one.
The evening would've been perfect, but for the woman sitting across the aisle and one row behind, who kept screaming random crap out in the middle of the softest parts of songs. 'Today's my birthday, boys, how bout some lovin!' And stuff like that. Sigh. :)
On the whole, though, it was a truly magical night for me, and I am SO glad I went. Can't wait til they come around again.
...okay, maybe not. :)
Another one of those memes going around Livejournal right now is this interview thing, which I think is a lot of fun. I've learned a lot of interesting things about my friends, to say the least.
So, I asked my good friend Andrea in Germany (she's astalavista over there) for my interview, the questions and answers are below.
Want me to interview you? Comment here, or in the LJ posts!
1. How did you end up at your current job? Is this what you always wanted to do? If not, what would you rather do?
Wow, I could write an essay about this one--and I plan to, at some point. It's on my handy list of topics at home. :) There's no real short answer, either, so bear with me.
I moved out to CA in 1997 to be closer to some friends I'd made on PernMUSH, that was really the only motivation I had. I figured, though, with all the high tech companies out there looking to hire entry-level folks, I'd be able to find *something*. Not so. I was here for several months before I finally got a temp job, one which lasted five months, before I was let go. I was lucky enough to find something quickly after *that*, but that was the infamous Lifeguard job, which I loathed--not so much the work part, because mindless data entry can actually be somewhat soothing, if only because you don't have to think about it. My supervisor there was just horrible, though. Ugh.
In the middle of all this, one of my then-friends came to work at International Network Services (INS) doing support. She gave my resume to her supervisor, and eventually (after interviewing in another department for another job), Dave gave me an interview. Dave, the man who could overspend an unlimited budget, took Lynette, Leigh Ann, and I out to lunch, then he and I talked afterwards...I had no clue that it was a formal interview-type thing. Apparently, it was something of a fight for me to get hired here--I had no pertinent technical experience and hadn't ever really done extensive phone work. They all liked me enough to give it a shot, though Rick (Dave's boss) was a little dubious. As it turned out, I became one of the top ticket closers relatively quickly, so...good gamble for them, if I do say so myself. :) And, I got promoted (and more than doubled my income) after my first year here, so I must be at least a little bit good at it.
I got this job on September 13, 1999. I'd told myself in July that if I didn't have a job by September 15th, I was going back home to Seattle.
Is this what I always wanted to do? Well...no. Not really. :) I don't know if anyone really aspires to be tech support. If Lucent were in a different place, it'd be a good stepping stone, a good in-road to any number of other career paths, but there's no chance for upward development here unless you have a college degree (which I don't), and pass any number of other weird standards/qualifications. I didn't come into it with any specific plan, though. I thought briefly about quality assurance, but that didn't pan out. I really wanted to go out to do field work, but that never worked out either--which is for the best, considering that most of the field reps have been laid off. So. Long-winded answer to that, but what it boils down to is that no, this isn't what I always wanted to do.
What *do* I want to do? I want to change the world. Am I serious? Yes and no. I feel as if I have the capability to do so--I think everyone does. But. :) So, hm. What do I really want to do? I'm hoping, eventually, to get a psychology degree (but fuck, if it takes me six times to get the spelling right, I'm doing something wrong!), specifically clinical psychology, which would allow me to hang a shingle. What I'd really like to do is specialize in online addictions--I have enough experience for that! :) I hope I'll realize that someday, but in the meantime, my dream job right now is to be the owner/manager of my own shop, selling my jewelry, my candles and soap, my painted glass. The business license is actually forthcoming, so that may not be as far off as it always seems. :)
2. Do you and Brett want to have children, after you get married? Or would you rather wait some time more? Or maybe have no children at all?
We've actually talked about this, but it's been awhile since the subject came up. Right now, no, we don't plan to have any children. I don't *want* children. People keep telling me that'll change for me in the future, but I can't see how. I have to admit, too, that statement *really* upsets and offends me--I know my own mind. I'm a big girl, I know what I do and don't want, and to have someone pat me on the head and say, all condescending like, 'oh, you'll change your mind!' really rankles. How do YOU know that? You're not me. Bah. :)
I'll grant that it's possible, but I don't see how. I'm not good mother material, I don't think, and I could give a big laundry list of reasons why, but I guess the real simple answer is that I *like* the way my life is now. A child would change all that...and it's not a decision you can un-make, you know? You can't return a kid to some central depository, like you can return a blouse to the department store. :)
3. Where would be your favorite place to live in the world? If your current location is your favorite place, why is that so?
If I could take all the Mormons out of Utah, I'd live there in a heartbeat, because it's just so fucking beautiful.
If I could make all the crazy politicians go the hell away from California, I'd live somewhere north up the coast, right on the mountains off the water.
If I could make all the crazy politicians go the hell away from Massachusetts, I'd love to live in Boston, just for the sheer history value.
My favorite place would be moderate in climate, have both ocean and mountains closeby, and with a city in relatively close proximity, but still far enough away that I had space.
4. Why do you MU*? For socialization or RP? Or any other reason?
At first, it was for the RP. I had a character on CrystalMUSH with whom I managed strange depths of self-destructive behavior. PernMUSH was fun for RP, too, until the politics got in the way. :)
These days, I MUSH mostly for the socialization, though I still get RP in there now and then. It's been a part of my daily life so long that it'd be weird to stop.
5. If you could have a mind power, what would that be? :-)
Ooo, a fun one! Hmmm. Mindspeech might be fun, but I think the one that I'd really want is telekinesis. I'd love to be able to move stuff around with just my mind--so convenient. Think about all you could do with that--you'd never have to physically do dishes again! :)
So, uberdaddybear on livejournal gives out a daily writing assignment. This guy has no idea who I am, I'm sure. :) I don't read his journal, but see lonespiritwolf2 post his answers from time to time. Today's assignment intrigued me.
Uberdaddybear says:
You have been bestowed with a very unique opportunity........
you have three wishes......the only catch is.....you cant use them for your own personal gain....you can't do any of that world peace crap....you have to use them on three different livejournal people......SO who, what, and why?
PENCILS UP!
Answers below.
This is a difficult one for me, because there are a lot of people on my LJ list that I would love to make a wish for. I'm going to refrain from making a wish for Brett, because that somehow seems unfair. :)
So...
For ophanim, my best friend for 11 years and counting, I wish for the man he's been waiting for. I know he's out there somewhere, but he seems to be taking his sweet time about it, and if there is ever someone who deserves the spiritual connection, the love, the utter bliss and sheer wonder that comes along with finding one's match, it's him. But, that's why I wish it for him--he's the greatest friend I have, and one of the absolute sweetest, kindest, most generous men I know.
For rainbowbinky, I wish a happy, healthy, long life for her two wonderful children, that they grow up to be kind-hearted people, who approach the world with love and a bright, optimistic outlook. I don't need to wish for her to be the best mother I know, because she already is. I probably don't need to wish for *this*, either, because I know how good a mom she is, but I still want that on my list. :)
And finally, for ta_chuang and tarotchan, I wish an easy move to the west coast, complete with finding the perfect apartment that they both adore, and jobs that will support them and their lifestyle when they move out here. This is selfish, in some ways--I adore them both, and I'd love for them to stay out here as long as possible. But, by the same token, I also just want them to be happy, as I wish the same for all my friends.
There are others I could wish for, but...alas. I'm done at three. Dammit. :)
I swear, Dean Koontz hates me. I swear he does. I mean, By The Light Of The Moon only came out at Christmas, didn't it? Why oh why does he have to torment me with yet another book?
Ha! From his website:
There you are, going about your business-which might be something really cool like competition bungee jumping into the yawning caverns of Hell or a line of work as humble and boring as toad measurement for a federal bureaucracy-when suddenly you are blindsided by a new Koontz novel at a time of year when you aren't expecting one. You are accustomed to girding yourself for a Koontz experience immediately after Christmas, but here comes one on May 27, and you are defenseless. We are cunning conspirators here at the Bantam-Books-Dean-Koontz Center for World Domination. (Quoted without permission--sorry sorry sorry, please don't hurt me, Mr. Koontz, I won't be able to buy any more of your books!)
Because, yeah, all his books usually come out around Christmas.
I've been a Koontz fan for as long as I can remember. The first one I ever read was Watchers, then I moved swiftly along to Lightning, which I also enjoyed. There are lots of booklovers in my family, so it was no surprise to find a Koontz book on my aunt's bookshelves on that summer I turned thirteen (or so) and went up to Canada. Phantoms scared the holy living FUCK out of me. I mean...scared me so goddamn bad I couldn't even go to the bathroom without leaving the door open a crack.
I read everything of his that I could get my hands on, and would gleefully save my pennies to buy them in hardcover when I didn't get them at Christmas--it's the same kind of thing with Robert Jordan, and a few other authors I know--it's this urge, this drive, this utter, insatiable NEED to have these books as SOON as they come out. Fuck waiting for the paperbacks, dammit, and screw going to the library, I am getting the book today. Now.
Yeah, I'm all about the instant gratification.
This isn't to say that I've loved everything he's written, because I haven't. Some of them were too creepy, some too short, and some I just plain didn't like, whether because of the story line, or the characters...
The guys at Rinkworks give him a lot of shit (see the Book A Minute, the collected works of Dean Koontz entry), and yeah, there are definitely books in which that's true. The point is, it's still fun to read them...some of these books make you think, make you wonder what if, make you delve so deeply into what's hidden from everyday thought that it's just creepy.
So, today, when I was at Costco, I shrieked at the sight of a new Koontz hardcover sitting on the book table (and promptly got a lot of weird looks). Then, I started muttering. "Bastard, this is not fair, it's not Christmas yet..."
I bought it, of course. Of course I did. And now, the dust cover is sitting on the bookshelf behind me, and the book is sitting on the table next to me, just waiting to be picked up. I love being the first one to open a book--especially hardbacks, the crispness of the spine, the way the pages smell. But the book is just sitting there...
...and yet...
...I can hear it calling to me. I know how weird that must sound, but let me just make a frame of reference. I read his last two books (One Door Away From Heaven, 2001, and By the Light of the Moon) in less than two days apiece. I *flew* through those books, ate them up in huge chunks, couldn't get enough of them. In 2001, on the way home from Mom's place at Christmas, I read in the car on the way home, I was *that* compelled by the story--and I LOATHE reading in cars, because it gives me headaches and makes me sick to my stomach, which in turn makes me cranky. This past Christmas, I *walked around the apartment* with it. I cooked with it. I took it to work and read it on breaks, in slow times during calls, at lunch...on the single day that I went to work with it, that is.
And, oh my god, he's got ANOTHER one coming out *this* Christmas. I swear to god, this is going to be the death of me.
But, as I bought this one today as soon as I saw it--I didn't even have to read the flap, I picked it up (as soon as I could find a copy that hadn't been manhandled by fifty million rabid monkeys who've jacked off for three days and haven't washed their hands before touching the merchandise) and put it in my cart, no questions asked...just as I've done with almost every single book he's written since I first started reading.
And I will buy the one that comes out at Christmas--or it will be purchased for me.
And...during those days after I've just picked up a book, or just opened the gift which contains the book, I will read.
And read.
And read.
Until I've sucked my way through yet another novel...and find myself at the end, wishing the story were just a little longer, wishing I had the willpower to savor the story, wishing that the old/new friend would stay with me for just one last conversation...
But then...that's why I buy them all in hardback. And this author is yet another reason why my bookshelves are full to bursting.
But I like it that way.
Okay, last time I made one of those 'Ask Me Anything' LJ memes, I didn't get all that many responses, so I didn't do it again when the trend started back up. Mind you, I didn't *ask* people many things, so I guess it's one of those situations where karma comes back. :)
So anyway, they've started up again for another round, but this time, instead of reopening a poll, I'm poaching from other people's polls. Yeah, I know that's sort of cheating--and if there's something you want to ask, ask me! You can either comment at the end of this post, or leave a comment to the entry on Livejournal, I read both.
So...to borrow a question that mysticmoose asked of a lot of people: If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
Interested in the answer? Click more.
If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
I could cheat here and say that it wouldn't matter where I lived, as long as Brett was there. While that's certainly true, it's also something of a cop-out, and there are places that we could live that I'd absolutely hate, so. :) In the spirit of the question...
If I could live in Utah without all the politics and the Mormons, I'd do it in a heartbeat. When people say that Utah Mormons are different than those you'd find anywhere else, it's completely, utterly true. It doesn't seem as if it's *so* bad anymore, but being non-Mormon out there is difficult, and it's not somewhere that I'd want to raise children, if I were ever to have them. But still, if I could live there without the wacky politics and the Mormons, I'd love to. It's beautiful, Salt Lake City proper is practically surrounded by mountains (thus the Salt Lake Valley), and when I went back for the first time in ten+ years, I felt that visceral *tug* that only ever came to me there. That feeling in the pit of my stomach that said "HOME!"
Failing that, I actually wouldn't mind living on Martha's Vineyard, though it's probably hellaciously expensive, and it's part of MA, so the politics there are equally wacky.
I *loved* Seattle, the city was very friendly, and Mount Rainier is such an awesome sight to see. I loved the rain (I'm probably alone in that), and there was some really cool stuff to do up there. If you can get past the marine layer, and the ever-present mist...it's a beautiful place, so *green*.
At one point, too, I had this (very lofty) goal of being independently wealthy and living right off the cliffs off the water in northern California, up by Shasta and the like--northern CA or southern Oregon, as long as it was coastal. I was going to have a stable and breed/raise thoroughbreds. Not so much anymore. :)
So...if I had to choose one, I guess I'd choose Utah, if only because of the way I feel when I'm there. There are plenty of other places I might choose, though, if I were more travelled.
I had such a crappy week at work that I really didn't want to go to the Champions On Ice thing that I had tickets to. Thankfully, a couple of people who are a whole lot smarter than me finally got me to leave the house. Brett kept saying that I'd be glad I went, and would be kicking myself if I *didn't* go.
He was right.
I wish I could remember the order in which everyone skated--I only have some vague impressions of the exact list, and had no pen to write anything down with, so all this is going to be from a two day old memory... :)
The intro for all the skaters was done to a neat montage of songs from musicals. They're celebrating the 25th anniversary of the tour, so there were som old songs, and some new stuff. Each skater or pair got a minute or two to show off moves by way of intro, then the actual show started.
Nicole Bobek went first, and oh my god, the legs on that woman, I swear...Very nicely done program, though not as energetic as I've seen her do in the past.
I feel really awful, because I don't remember much about any of the pairs who skated, except for one rather, um, unorthodox pair, which I'll mention later. :)
Rudy Galindo, local boy and crowd favorite, came screeeeeeaming into the ice in purple velvet from head to toe, with a big fluffy purple cape that had his name in sequins on the back. He skated to a montage of Prince tunes--Let's Go Crazy, 1999, etc. He didn't do as much of the flashy stuff as he usually does, either, and it was kind of disappointing, even though it was awesome to see him skate.
Other notables:
Philippe Candeloro is ohmygod cute, and skated to God Bless The USA (with an American flag taped to his arm...which is sort of interesting, because he's *French*. But it was a great program, very energetic.
The Junior champion (I wish I could remember her name) skated, to Come What May from Moulin Rouge, so I spent that whole routine in tears. I love/hate that song.
Timothy Goebel skated a neat program, and used 'With Arms Wide Open' as his music.
Michelle Kwan was her normal energetic, beautiful self.
Irina Slutskaya skated to some very interesting Russian pop stuff, which was a little strange, but...oookay. :)
Sasha Cohen is amazing, I just have to say that right out. She looks about twelve, but holy crap, can she skate.
Evgeni Plushenko is flat out amazing, and was a complete joy to watch.
Elvis Stojko is another one of those dead sexy kinds of guys.
Victor Petrenko wasn't as much fun to watch as I was hoping--not bad, but not the best.
The two best parts of the evening for me were actually the two 'novelty' skaters--one duet, one single. The pair went first, Vladimir Besedin and Oleksiy Polishchuk. The things these two guys do...holy shit. I'm in awe, seriously. I mean, check out some of these pictures. Yes, that is one of them balanced upside down on top of the other's HEAD with just one hand. :)
The other was Irina Gregorian, who skates with hula-hoops. More pictures. Like, does jumps while spinning in a hula hoop, even. Like, spins eight of them around. Like...finishes off by spinning them around so much that she looks like she's inside a slinky. It's really damn impressive. :)
I'm kind of disappointed that we didn't get to see Surya Bonaly, because I really liked her, and we didn't see Sarah Hughes. All in all, though, it was fun, and I am glad I went. :)