This Conversation Seems Like A Dream

Uh, I don't think so.

So, today, at my work email address, I get the following:

-----Original Message-----
From: FDIC [email removed, but was @att.net]
Sent: Saturday, January 24, 2004 3:00 AM
To: [Me @ Work]
Subject: Important News About Your Bank Account

To whom it may concern;
In cooperation with the Department Of Homeland Security, Federal, State and Local Governments your account has been denied insurance from the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation due to suspected violations of the Patriot Act. While we have only a limited amount of evidence gathered on your account at this time it is enough to suspect that currency violations may have occurred in your account and due to this activity we have withdrawn Federal Deposit Insurance on your account until we verify that your account has not been used in a violation of the Patriot Act.

As a result Department Of Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge has advised the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation to suspend all deposit insurance on your account until such time as we can verify your identity and your account information.

Please verify through our IDVerify below. This information will be checked against a federal government database for identity verification. This only takes up to a minute and when we have verified your identity you will be notified of said verification and all suspensions of insurance on your account will be lifted.

[URL Removed, points to fdic.gov @ [IP address], HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.]

Failure to use IDVerify below will cause all insurance for your account to be terminated and all records of your account history will be sent to the Federal Bureau of Investigation in Washington D.C. for analysis and verification. Failure to provide proper identity may also result in a visit from Local, State or Federal Government or Homeland Security Officials.

Thank you for your time and consideration in this matter.

Donald E. Powell

Chairman Emeritus FDIC

John D. Hawke, Jr.

Comptroller of the Currency

Michael E. Bartell

Chief Information Officer

----

Okay.

First off, there is no fucking way that my credit union has my WORK email address. Hell, they probably don't even have my HOME email address.

Secondly, there's no fucking way that my credit union would give that information to the FDIC, that's a violation of their privacy policy.

Thirdly, if this were truly an issue the FDIC would be announcing this ON THE NEWS, rather than contacting people via email.

Fourth, even if THEY didn't do it, I'm sure that my BANK would either a) contact me via phone, or b) put a notice on their website.

The sad part is, PEOPLE BELIEVE THIS SHIT!

Fucking hell, folks. The FDIC has its own .gov website, it DOES NOT have to use an @att.net address.

When the URL refers you to [www.blah.com] @ [IP], HELLO, CLUE #2. I'll take redirects for a thousand, Alex. Try going to just the regular website first. If there's not something big and glaring and flashing on that site, pointing you to a spot where you should go, DON'T DO IT!

And even if you don't believe ME, how about you CALL YOUR BANK first? Don't you think that *THEY* would know if your account had been suspended for some reason or another?

Jeebers cripes. How stupid do these donkey-raping shit-eating spammer bastards think we-the-American-public are?

Okay, don't answer that. No, don't. Really.

Ahem.

Back to your regularly scheduled Friday, where I am still feeling like Jared in that Subway commercial: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Posted by Liz at January 23, 2004 09:46 AM