(Sports advisory! If you're not interested in hockey, you might not be interested in this, but you still may get a giggle out of it.)
We hear some really stupid shit at hockey games. Satyr69 over at Livejournal can attest to this--we took him to the Dallas game on Tuesday for his birthday, and the guy sitting in front of him was probably one of the most annoying seat mates we've had in awhile. He kept babbling about his daughter's wedding, not really watching the game, but would occasionally holler out, "Stuey, you suck!" Now, admittedly, Stuey had a bad game (okay, practically the whole TEAM had a bad game), but dude. Seriously. Either go somewhere and talk about your daughter's wedding, or shut the fuck up and actually *watch*.
That's actually a pretty common problem--some people come to games and view it as a social hour rather than a sporting event. When we were sharing a season ticket package with John and Steve, sitting in section 226, the seats just behind us were Shark Pack seats, so people had them for 10 games during the season. The kids were annoying, but at least they *watched* the game. The worst were the two women, though, who came to the game and chattered the whole time. Didn't cheer when they made a good play or scored a goal, just chattered, and considered it an affront that people might cheer a good play and interrupt them. GAH.
I mentioned the guy a few weeks ago who sat behind us and just wouldn't shut up. He'd brought his friend to the game--his friend, who was basically a hockey newbie, who (I'm guessing) he was going to 'show the ropes.' Sadly, what he really knew about hockey could probably fill the cap of the soda bottle I'm drinking from right now. I mean, okay. Sharks bring the puck in down the left side. Guy behind us: "Hey! Weak side, weak side, weakside!!!!" Sharks bring the puck in down the right side. Guy behind us: "Hey! Weak side, weak side!"
There are the pregnant men, too--that's what I call them, anyway. They're almost always men, and they're always the ones who burst a blood vessel shouting "GET IT OUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!" during a power play, as if they're in labor and are desperate to be rid of a 10 pound monster in their stomach. And the artillery, as Brett calls them, the ones who are always shouting "SHOOT!" when someone holds onto the puck for too long. Those are just annoying, though, not really stupid.
The ultimate in 'oh my fucking god, this guy is a flaming idiot' happened last night, though. Last night, the Sharks played the Vancouver Canucks (and kicked ass, by the way, they played VERY well)--from Canada. Yeah, there's a point to specifying that. Some guy one section over and a few rows back starts hollering once the game starts. Mostly, I can't figure out what the fuck he's talking about, which is not terribly unusual. Finally, though, finally, I hear him say something:
"Hey! Beat a Canadian!"
And:
"Lay the smackdown! Canadians gave us mad cow!"
Et cetera, et cetera.
It was oh so tempting to yell back, "Hey, fucktard! You do realize, don't you, that at least 80 percent of the players on the Sharks roster are from CANADA?"
Motards.
Posted by Liz at January 16, 2004 07:50 AM