This Conversation Seems Like A Dream

Cleaning Frenzy.

Have you ever noticed that there are just a few things that are remarkably conducive to allowing someone to just think stuff out? Or to allow the mind to wander til you're not really thinking about anything in particular, but yet there are some great ideas born of that not-quite-active thought? There are actually a lot of activities like that for me--mindless data entry's definitely one of them, but since I've got a job that's quite a bit more intensive these days, I haven't been able to do that for awhile.

Driving does it, too, though to a lesser extent...if I'm ever off on a long drive with nowhere to go, it's probably because I've got stuff I need to think about and work out, for whatever reason. And yeah, I do actually talk to myself a lot when that happens. But *that* is the subject for another entry.

There are household-type chores that get me, too--when I lived at home, we had a yard, and mowing the lawn was always great for that. Recently, housecleaning has started to do it, which is a little weird for me...

I swear, it has to be my mother's influence...I hate to clean! I used to, anyway, and I doubt I've changed all -that- much over the years. Still, something about it...

Today, for example. Now that technocowboy has moved out to live with lonespiritwolf2 (and by the way, I'm really happy for them both!), when I got home this afternoon, I just got this urge, the kind that's just utterly impossible to ignore...I just HAD to clean. That's definitely a Mom thing, she was the one who talked about toilets, and how she couldn't ever move into a place without cleaning the bathroom, no matter how clean it was when she got there. Ugh. Bathroom. That's the worst one of them all, too, but it was there, and I couldn't ignore it, and...there you have it.

Naturally, most of my mind-wandering is stuff that I don't remember, though I have to admit that it's sort of disappointing, because I think I had some good potential essays in there somewhere. I do remember thinking about my grandparents, though, and how upset I was to lose that bit of writing I'd saved just before my old hard drive went tits up...and I really am upset about it. In spite of what my mom said, that's not something I'm ever going to be able to duplicate. There's no way I'll be able to sit down and write those words and feel those feelings all over again, and it's how I feel when I'm writing something that really defines how the piece will turn out. It's my own fault, knowing how important it was going to be to me, I should've thought to make a backup, but...

I also thought some about my father, who I've basically ignored since he called to tell me about my grandpa. I do intend to go out to Raleigh at some point, hopefully within the next month or two, but I *don't* intend to tell him I'm there. I keep trying to think about what I'd do if I happen to run into him, since I'm going to pay my respects, but then I remind myself to try not to worry about it. If it happens, it happens.

Wedding plans are also moving right along. I finally got a block of hotel rooms booked, whick takes another load off my mind. I still have a whole lot of stuff to do, more than I really want to think about, but I seem to be doing pretty well so far...I just wish theknot.com wouldn't very cheerfully remind me of how many days are left. 130 days *seems* like a long time, but in the scheme of things? Not. Not even. Next up for the wedding, tickets to Boston, for the east coast reception.

There were other things that came to mind, of course--MUSH, what to do with the extra room that we've got, next year's hockey season, this year's NBA and NHL playoffs...when my mind goes into full overdrive mode, it really does know how to work. :)

Time for me to close up here, too, I think, since I've managed to say essentially nothing throughout this whole post. Score one for inane babble!

Posted by Liz at April 28, 2003 08:58 PM