Kassima's Wake

Kassima: "Rumors of my drunkenness have been greatly eshga--exash--oh, shardit. Just pour me another Lava Twist already!"

Note: This time, I don't know what songwriter to apologize to, as I believe 'Finnegan's Wake' is an Irish traditional ballad--so I'll stick to apologizing to everyone mentioned in my parody below.

Kassima's Wake

Kassima lived in Telgar Weyr,
A laughing greenrider, all her life;
She sang in a brogue so sweet and clear,
And to rise in the world, she carried a knife.

Now, she had a sort of the tippling way--
With a love of the liquor, Kassi was born;
To help her on with her work each day,
She'd a drop of the Benden every morn.

Chorus:
Whack fol de dah, now dance to your partner;
Welt the floor, your trotters shake--
Wasn't it the truth I told you?
Lots of fun at Kassima's wake!

One morning, Kass was rather full;
Her head felt heavy, which made her shake.
She fell from her dragon and broke her skull,
So they carried her home, her corpse to wake.

They wound her up in a nice clean sheet,
And laid her out upon the bed,
A gallon of whiskey at her feet
And a barrel of porter at her head.

(Chorus)

Her friends assembled at the wake,
And Pierron, grumbling, called for lunch;
First they brought out tea and cakes,
Then mint-sticks, kiwi, and whiskey punch.

Then A'ser, quite drunk, began to cry,
"Such a nice, clean corpse did you ever see?
Kassi, sparkly one, why did you die?"
"Ah, shut your yap!" yelled Jaralth's K'ti.

(Chorus)

Then Weyrleader A'lex took up the job:
"Oh, A'ser," says he, "you're wrong, I'm sure."
A'ser gave him a belt to the gob,
And left him sprawling on the floor.

Then the brawl did soon engage;
'Twas woman to woman, and man to man--
The law of fists was all the rage,
And a row and a ruction soon began!

Then Alessandra ducked her head
As a noggin of whiskey flew right past;
It missed and, falling on the bed,
The liquor scattered over Kass.

Kassi revives, see how she rises--
Kassima rising from the bed.
Saying, "Whirl your whiskey around like blazes--
Thundering shards, d'you think I'm dead?"

Whack fol de dah, now dance to your partner;
Welt the floor, your trotters shake--
Wasn't it the truth I told you?
Lots of fun at Kassima's wake!

		    ---Written by Kassima

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