I Am the Very Model of a Rider of a Benden Green

Kassima: "Someday, somehow, somewhere, sometime, the Water is going to cause a *man* to get the Benden Flu. And when it does, I for one will pay every mark I have for a bottle of it to use on that sadistic Healer Garant. And Mart. And R'val, too, while I'm at it--not to mention T'lar, Cav, and... oh, to heck with it; I'd just use it on every man in Benden."

I Am the Very Model of a Rider of a Benden Green

Kassi:

I am the very model of a rider of a Benden green;
Whenever I say something, no one knows exactly what I mean.
I know the basic elements of knife-fighting quite well by heart--
In fact, it could even be said that I've raised it up to an art.
And when my dragon's glowing is affecting my every impulse,
I've flirted with anything in the Weyr that seemed to have a pulse.
About the dreaded Benden Water, I'm teeming with lots o' news:
Drink one sip today, and tomorrow you must buy baby shoes.

All:

Drink one sip today, and tomorrow you must buy baby shoes.
Drink one sip today, and tomorrow you must buy baby shoes.
Drink one sip today, and tomorrow you must buy baby shoes.

Kassi:

I'm very good at confusing everyone who's in hearing range;
Half the Weyr considers me to be well past simply deranged.
In short, in matters more bizarre than anyone has ever seen,
I am the very model of a rider of a Benden green.

All:

In short, in matters more bizarre than anyone has ever seen,
She is the very model of a rider of a Benden green.

Kassi:

It's said that I drink M'kla's klah quite often with impunity--
But that just isn't true, because there's Water in the stuff, you see. 
Instead, it could be said that I'm a connisseur of Benden wine;
I know which vintages are grand, and also which ones to decline.
I dream of bottles from S'riv's stash falling somehow to my hands,
And bury skins of Tillek Swill deep underneath the Shipfish sands.
I once drank one of everything at Boll to see what was okay,
And wound up passed out on the Lounge's floor for an entire day.

All:

She wound up passed out on the Lounge's floor for an entire day.
She wound up passed out on the Lounge's floor for an entire day.
She wound up passed out on the Lounge's floor for an entire day.

Kassi:

I'm conning hapless Weyrfolk into kilts by using all my wiles,
And trying to convince them that plaid is one of the latest styles.
In short, in matters more bizarre than anyone has ever seen,
I am the very model of a rider of a Benden green.

All:

In short, in matters more bizarre than anyone has ever seen,
She is the very model of a rider of a Benden green.

Kassi:

In fact, when I can think of really long titles for all my friends,
When I can use the fear of proddiness to further my own ends,
When I can bean someone with a dinner roll from across the room,
When I discover the real cause of every Benden baby boom,
When I know everything that ever goes on inside the LC,
And when all Weyrlings everywhere stop ma'aming and saluting me,
In short, when my mind of sanity has been wiped completely clean,
You'll say a weirder Bendenite has never yet ridden a green.

All:

You'll say a weirder Bendenite has never yet ridden a green.
You'll say a weirder Bendenite has never yet ridden a green.
You'll say a weirder Bendenite has never yet ridden a green.

Kassi:

For my ultimate dementia, which I have treasured all along,
Could not be adequately expressed in the verses of one song.
But still, in matters more bizarre than anyone has ever seen,
I am the very model of a rider of a Benden green.

All:

But still, in matters more bizarre than anyone has ever seen,
She is the very model of a rider of a Benden green.

				---Written by Kassima

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