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Somebody Put Their Fingers In the Wingsecond's Ears


Date:  June 9, 2003
Place:  Telgar Weyr Storage Rooms
Game:  PernMUSH
Copyright Info:  The World of Pern is copyright(c) to Anne McCaffrey 
l967. The Dragonriders of Pern(r) is a registered copyright.

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Kassi's Note:  And it wasn't too much later they came out with Yash's
wax!  Oh, stop that groaning.  I can make references to TMBG songs if 
I want to!  Even if they are clumsy and even if it wasn't fingers 
somebody wanted to put in Yash's ears!  So there.  Now that I've 
doubtless provided wonderful mental images for you all:  this log 
features Yashira's promotion to Wingsecond of Thunderbolt.  All due 
congratulations to her!  It also features more of Maylia's ear 
fetish, but I'm not sure congratulations are so much in order for 
that.

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The Log:

You walk off towards the Storage Rooms.

Yashira stands in the storage room, a bossy resident on hand, hands on her
hips as she surveys the storage room. "Alright... I suppose that's enough
for today, the barrels are a little more reasonable now. Thank you,
Bashira." "Yashira." "Whatever." And off the resident goes.

Maylia walks in from outside the room.

Kassima is singing softly to herself as she ambles through the corridors;
no surprise there--it might be more astonishing if she *weren't* singing,
being Kassi. "Bronzerider Man, Bronzerider Man, doing the things a
bronzerider can; what's he like? Thinks he's important--Bronzerider Man."
The song material probably isn't that surprising either. She comes to a
halt, though, to witness the exchange with bemused, amused (but not used,
or reused, or abused!) eyes. "Should I even ask?" she drawls, arching a
brow at her Wingmate.

Yashira grunts, brushing her arm over her forehead. "Ungh," she grunts. "I
agreed to be helpful and got passed off to Yanice." Yanice, in the
meantime, has just left in a swish of skirts.

Maylia doesn't exactly sneak in. In fact, her arrival is rather on the loud
side - not from her, but yowls and hisses from Snarl. "Sharding blue
freak," May grumbles, as the firelizard takes off finally. Muttering
further to that effect, she heads further into the caverns, while Snarl
dives for the shadows to lurk.

"See, this is why you should never agree t'be helpful." Kassima pauses.
"Wait. I'm pretty sure I'm nay supposed t'say things like that. Good thing
I don't have Kaswyn with me, or I'd probably qualify as a disgrace to
motherhood, instead of just Wingleaderhood. Whatever did you volunteer for
that involved *barrels*?" She chooses a side of the doorway to lean against
with arms folded as she speaks, possibly providing a cheerful obstruction
to entry, though not a complete one. All that yowling and hissing gets her
to turn about, startled: "May? I hope 'tis you, and that 'lizard of yours
you speak of, since the alternative sources of that comment are scary
t'contemplate."

"Barrels," Yashira repeats. "Moving them. They're full of stores and junk.
Hey, Maylia - good to know I don't have the hissiest example of fire
lizardom."

"Apparently I was supposed to do something I didn't do," May remarks,
sending a glare chasing after a rustle behind a trunk. "And yes, 'tis me,
and sometimes I think he's a tunnelsnake with wings, not a firelizard."
Halleluja, this is what an entire generation of weyrlings likely thought.
"You got recruited to move barrels? That's a joy and a half."

Kassima offers a snort, relaxing back into her comfortable, slouchy lean.
"Have you ever met Darvan, Koreyn, and Kevazyr? I don't know that they'd
outdo Charmy any one of 'em, but they'd probably like t'try. Snarl might
have 'em beat too, though. Huh. That almost makes me wonder what sort of
horrendous beasts will ever be produced if'n Charmy and Snarl should mate."
Unfolding an arm to gesture towards the barrels, she asks, "Aught like toys
or bits t'be interesting kidlings in there? Or is it all horribly dry
stuff, like flour? 'Tisn't flour that brings you down here, is it, May?"

"I don't know. It's just heavy," Yashira grouches, moving to sit down on a
big wooden box. "Charmy and Snarl. I don't even want to think about it."

Maylia looks appropriately distressed at the idea of Snarl getting a bit of
Charmy's tail. "Let's just pretend that'll never happen, shall we?" she
suggests, aiming towards trunks of warm clothes. "Me? Flour? Now, there's
an idea - but tempting as it may be to upend a bag of flour over the
weyrlings and watch'em scramble to get clean before I'sai catches them,
it's not what I'm here for. Winter. It's cold. Doing the standard mentorish
thing, and finding warm clothes and such for mine. You're here for toys?"

Kassima admits, expression flickering briefly into sheepish range, "I am.
Hadn't even thought about clothes for Gay--I don't know whether she needs
'em yet, or whether she's fine, coming from Lemos as she does. But I should
be asking... toys, 'twas thinking, for extras for Kaswyn, since he doesn't
care much about whether something's a bit ragged. Nay that he doesn't have
plenty, but I like t'come down here t'look every once in awhile
regardless." Yash's box-seat gets a curious glance. "Half tempts me t'be
suggesting we open one t'find out, that does. Alas that the lass would
probably be having our heads. Are you going t'be staying in here for a bit?
I'd been meaning t'track you down and talk with you--"

Yashira grunts. "I haven't got anywhere else to be - you're mentoring Gay,
Kassi? Who do you have, May?"

"He's still sort of at the grab-something-and-gum-it stage, isn't he?" May
asks Kassi. "Or wave it about? So, bright colours, stuffing still inside?
Oh - Mirah. Don't know if she really needs anything, but until I find that
out, might as well rummage for clothes. I'll wager those heavy barrels
don't have clothes in'em, but it'd be interesting to find out."

"So 'twould be seeming. I imagine there are plenty of people wondering just
what Is was thinking with that one. 'Twill be an experience, though; I've
never mentored a rider who won't be a full fighter a'fore, but I do like
Gay. Sensible head she seems t'have, without being so sensible 'tis dull."
This analysis delivered, Kassi gives a slight, solemn nod. "Good. We need
t'plan our night of drunken revelry and debauchery most terrible, after
all, and we haven't discussed it once yet. 'Twas thinking mayhaps smoothed
wood, May, if'n there is any, but I'd nay say nay t'stuffed things too. So
long as they're safely gummable indeed. Aught that can keep him
distracted--he's been fussy of late, poor love."

Maylia's ears perk up at the mention of drunken debauchery, as she flips
open a trunk's lid. "What's the occassion for the festing?" The contents of
the trunk are quickly rejected, given that they're for the most part sized
more appropriately for a six turn old.

"Iralne broke her boat," Yashira remarks absently. "What's this about
drunken revelry?"

Kassima's brow momentarily furrows. "Iralne had a boat? Did it float?
There's an idea... what d'you mean, what's this about drunken revelry?
There has t'be drunken revelry! You wouldn't want t'be overturning
tradition, surely. I'll grant 'tis a relatively new tradition, but 'tis a
favorite of mine. Any excuse and all that. Will you come too, May?" This
without answering the greenrider's question, yet; at least, not beyond a
quick, silent wiggle of eyebrows.

"Boat. Floated," Yashira says, nodding. "Got it from Jeroch. Nice boat."

Maylia shoots Yashira a confused look. "Boat?" she asks, then nods with the
explanation, smiling slightly. "A small toy one, I take it? Jeroch's pretty
good with the kid's toys, isn't he? Now, what's this about a tradition? Is
it to celebrate something, or - of course, count me in! I'm just curious as
to the motive of this."

Kassima nods thoughtfully, taking this in. "Mayhaps 'twould be a thing for
Kisai. She hasn't any water-toys, nay unless Is has given her some that
I've nay seen yet. Never something t'rule out. But what about the revelry?
Would night be better for you? Evening? D'you have a preference as t'place?
Boll's the usual, a'course, but there's nay reason we couldn't hit the Hulk
or Dawn Sisters instead. Or even the WaveRider." She makes a face at the
name. "Though 'twill nay think much of your tastes in celebrations. They
serve *Tillek Swill* there." The look she fires May has some good-natured
exasperation in it, though whether affected or real might be difficult to
determine. "What, don't you know? Both of you?"

"Is this the drunken revelry we have when Weyrlings graduate?" Yashira
inquires, scratching her side.

Maylia flips aside fluffy sweaters, of a style inappropriate for
weyrlinghood. Or anything, for that matter. "It's not your turnday. But if
you're planning to drink, I'm guessing that the milk service'll be ending
soon, and that could be quite the event deserving celebration?"

"Oh, nay. That's a different drunken revelry. This is the drunken revelry
for celebrating a new Wingsecond." Kassima pauses, lifting her brows in
mock surprise that might be convincing if she weren't radiating casual just
a bit too strongly. "Don't tell me I forgot t'tell you about your being our
new Wingsecond? Surely nay. I'd nay let such a thing as *that* slip
m'mind...." She trails off long enough to give the sweaters a disturbed
look. "Who the shards was wearing *those*? Nay, nay--don't I *wish*. For
drinking, I mean, nay for nay nursing anymore, save as far as the two are
connected. 'Twill just have t'sit back and watch the drunken revelry
m'self. The sacrifices I go through for m'children, I'm telling you."

Yashira blinks a few times, eyebrows going up, and glances over at Maylia.
"Congratulations," she says warmly.

Maylia snorts with restrained laughter, "Forgot, my a--," she jokingly
retorts, then waves away Yashira's congratulations. "No, no, no - I'm
wagering it's you she's asking. She asked you about planning it, and asked
me along. What else is a wingsecond for, other than planning drinking and
debauchery-ing?"

Yashira's forehead furrows. "Going through sweep reports?"

Maylia shrugs. "Minor detail."

Kassima blinks, too, at that, before giving a quiet groan. "Trust me t'muff
it in m'attempts t'be all stealthy. Nay May, Yash. You." And just in case
further confusion should ensue, she aims a pointed index finger in Yash's
direction. "You, you, you. *You're* the new Wingsecond. If'n you'll take
it, that is? You don't *have* to, but if'n you say nay, 'twill warn you
that 'twill be doing m'best t'give you big, pleading eyes and looking
pathetic and sad and small. I'll even sniffle. You don't want t'see that."
The greenrider slants May a wry grin. "Now, May. I'd make a comment on how
nay anyone could forget your... ah... asset, as 'twere, only 'twould fear
that might give you ideas about putting your tongue down m'ear again."

Yashira nods to Kassima. "I wouldn't want to see that, no." A pause. "Well,
not much. And I have to protect your dignity now, especially if I'm to be
your Wingsecond, aft---tongue down your ear? What?"

Maylia mock weeps into the attrocious sweater, dabbing at her eyes. "She
doesn't want me-ee-eee!" At least she stops short of blowing her nose in
it. "Well," she begins, looking a little hopeful, "Your ears might just be
enough to make me feel better. The rejection, and all."

Kassima tries a tiny sniffle, just for effect. "Nay *much*. All heart, you
are. But where'd you get this bizarre idea that I have dignity?" For all
the unconvincing attempt at indignance in those words, she immediately
follows them with, "Does that mean you'll take it? I don't have t'walk
around with this knot in m'pocket until I can find someone else t'take it?"
With a wiggle of fingers, she indulges in some sleight of hand, seeming to
pull the knot from thin air. "Aww, *May*! You know I want--" Stop.
Backtrack. "Y'know I want you in a completely platonic and Wingleaderly
way. What about Yash's ears? Wouldn't they be better? It could, uh, be your
way of congratulating her. Or something."

"They're a little waxy," Yashira grunts in Maylia's direction as she
reaches out to take the new knot.

Maylia flashes a wide grin, noting, "Darnit. Almost got you to say you
wanted me. Yes, ears, Yashira - they're quite underestimated. Aw, sheesh,
waxy? You do know you can clean'em, right? What a way to ruin nice ears."
As Yash reaches for the knot, it's her turn to smile warmly.
"Congratulations - and Kassi's right, we'll have to go drinking to celebrate."

Only when the knot's passed out of her hands and into Yash's does Kassi
think to add, "And the ear thing is completely Maylia's to explain. I've
never understood it. Would *you* want t'put your tongue down m'ear? Would
anyone sane?" Blessedly, these questions seem rhetorical. The Wingleader
straightens from her lean after them, assuming formal posture long enough
to snap Yashira a lettuce-crisp salute. "Our felicitations and thanks
t'you, then, Wingsecond Yashira. 'Tis a task you'll have in filling T'kar's
shoes, but I've confidence in your abilities. You'll be leading a day's
drills within two sevendays." She flashes a grin then, formality banished.
"And drinking or gambling or celebrating *somehow* within three. May, you
do know there are times when you frighten me, don't you? M'ears are
trembling in apprehension as we speak."

Telgar Weyr> Kassima congratulates Yash, Thunderbolt's newest Wingsecond.
May all praise her! Or pity her, one of those. ;)

Telgar Weyr> Ursa says, "Woot! Yash!"

Telgar Weyr> C'vadan snickers. Sucker... er, Congrats!

Telgar Weyr> Javinia says, "Woo! Congrats, Yashira!"

Telgar Weyr> Maylia yaaaayyyyys!

Yashira fixes the new knot to her jacket's shoulder, rising to return the
salute with one of her own. "Honoured, Wingleader." She pauses and eyes
Maylia. "I may never clean them again if it means you're gonna stick your
tongue down 'em!"

Telgar Weyr> Yashira beams. I feel fancy!

Telgar Weyr> Yselle says, "Congratulations!"

Telgar Weyr> L'han says, "Huzzah!"

Telgar Weyr> Ursa says, "Fancy Yashy!"

Telgar Weyr> Riane waves. How's it going?

Telgar Weyr> Yashira says, "I am fancy, Riane!"

Telgar Weyr> Kassima now has the Reba MacEntire song stuck in her head. I
somehow can't picture you as an eighteen-year-old prostitute, Yash.

Maylia rolls her eyes in exasperation. "It's not so much down your ear, but
gently, 'round the edges... what can I say, I like ears? Thankyou, Kassi,
I'm honoured to earn your fear." She, too, salutes. "Congratulations,
Wingsecond."

Telgar Weyr> Yashira says, "Well, that's when all the men liked Yash,
remember?"

Telgar Weyr> Riane whoos! I remember Yash's prostitution days well.

Yashira develops a shifty-eyed look. "Uh... the edges are waxy, too. And
thank you."

Telgar Weyr> Kassima just dies at Riane. Phrases I somehow never thought
I'd hear.

Telgar Weyr> Yashira grooooans.

"Just make sure, now that formalities have been observed, that you never do
that saluting thing again. Unless the situation calls for it, as I hope few
enough outside of Fall will." Kassi resumes her slouch, clearly cheerful
now and pleased with the world. "That's a good night's business done! The
tapping, I mean. Nay so much the fearing of you, May. But I suppose that
could count as a good night's business. I guess I can be
imagining--mayhaps--why you'd want t'have someone nibbling on your ear that
way, but what exactly d'you get out of nibbling someone *else's*? Beyond
our undying terror?"

Telgar Weyr> Bronwynn snugs Maylia! But wait, does she have enough kids to
be a Tbolt Wi2? Isn't there a spawn requirement? ;)

Telgar Weyr> Maylia whas? Nononono. Not me :) yash.

Telgar Weyr> Bronwynn snugs Yash even!

Telgar Weyr> Kassima says, "She doesn't yet. She'll just have to have more.
Talk to that son of yours about it, Ursa, would you? ;)"

Telgar Weyr> Bronwynn honestly can't think staight tonight. My cat won't
shut up.

Telgar Weyr> Ursa says, "I'll do so!!"

Telgar Weyr> Maylia grins, and snugs Bronwynn.

"Nothing a good bath wouldn't fix." May eagerly suggests. "I could help?"
The suggestiveness is light and joking, nothing serious here. Her sense of
humour might even indicate that Tierth'll soon be glowing, and she'll soon
want Kassi's ears more seriously. On a shelf, preferably. "But Kassi, it's
hard to explain. It just is good. The person the ear is attached to
hopefully enjoys it, and it feels good to think about what what you're
doing would feel like. You see?"

Telgar Weyr> Yashira smacks her connection, eyes the knot warily. You're
talking about Yash spawning, aren't you?

Telgar Weyr> Kassima says, "Yesyesyes. Now that she's a Wingsecond she's
even *more* compelled to spawn in vast numbers. Really."

Telgar Weyr> Yashira whines.

Telgar Weyr> Riane says, "Yep, quintuplets even."

"Don't some of them kind of yelp and pull away?" Yashira inquires.

Telgar Weyr> Ursa says, "I need a Real Grandchild I can claim!"

Telgar Weyr> Yashira makes Riane pinch-spawn for her.

Telgar Weyr> Kassima says, "That somehow sounds terribly painful."

Telgar Weyr> Riane runs and hides.

Kassima is not unaware of this possibility, either, to judge from the wary
look she gives her green Wingmate. "Your list of people whose ears you're
interested in is growing, May," she drawls. "Methinks I'm nigh jealous. I
can't say I understand the appeal m'self, but if'n 'twould really make you
happy, mayhaps, *mayhaps* 'twill let you do whatever with m'ear, if'n you
get me *very* drunk and I'm in a *very* good mood first. Just mayhaps. And
only if'n you promise t'never eye m'ears with lust in your heart after that."

Telgar Weyr> L'han says, "There's always me!"

Telgar Weyr> Ursa says, "Isn't that da truth!"

Telgar Weyr> Kassima says, "And don't forget, Ursa. You should instruct
U'yn to knock Yash up with a daughter, so that Ashlyn and Kaswyn can spawn
Kynyn someday."

Telgar Weyr> Ursa says, "Ohmigod. You've got it plotted so carefully."

Telgar Weyr> Kassima <---pimp to generations yet unborn!

Telgar Weyr> Yashira cries.

Telgar Weyr> Bronwynn hopes she's dead by then. ;)

Telgar Weyr> Riane says, "And eventually vowels will be completely
erradicated from the bloodline?"

Telgar Weyr> Kassima says, "Yes. Eventually, you see, the children will all
be named simply 'K.'"

Telgar Weyr> Kassima says, "Of course, by that time they'll have acquired
omnipotent powers and have left Pern to go pester starship captains
somewhere. Like the Q, you know. But kooler."

Telgar Weyr> Riane never saw the need for the other 25 letters anyways.

Maylia places her hand over her heart, touched. "You'd let me? Really?" Of
course, she then hears the conditions, and appears shocked. "You're
kidding? Give me a taste, get me all hopefull, and then deny me even to
look again? No deal!" Yashira's given a *look*. "Not if I do it right!"

Telgar Weyr> Bronwynn says, "Maybe keep the vowels and eliminate all the
consonants but K. *onders the name Kkokkykk.* I dunno, it does't really
feel the same way that Bronwynn does..."

Yashira eyes Maylia a moment, then glances at Kassima. "Can we put in a 'no
ear-tounging' rule for Thunderbolt?"

Telgar Weyr> L'han is now hearing the soundtrack of some documentary
several years back that followed a tribe in Africa whose language is
comprised entirely of tongue clicks.

Telgar Weyr> Riane rolls! That'll be Telgar at the next Pass.

Disturbedness, thy name is Kassima. "All hopeful for *what*? What the
shells comes after a tongue down the ear? Is this something I even want
t'know the answer to?" Ask a silly question. She meets Yash's glance, and
makes a show of considering. "I don't want t'risk aught that might
interfere with our great spawning mission. But I can put in a rule about
nay ear-tonguing without explicit consent?"

Telgar Weyr> Yashira says, "'K'kkk'kkk!' 'He doesn't like you!' 'Kk'k'kk.'
'I don't like you, either.'"

Telgar Weyr> L'han says, "R2!"

Maylia just facepalms at this. "It's like trying to explain to someone what
*between* is like, I tell you!" At Kassi's modification to the suggested
rule, she looks relieved. "Now, that I could agree to. I don't think I've
ever licked someone's ear without their consent!"

"Explicit consent," Yashira repeats, nodding.

Maylia coughs, and mimics a conversation. "Please pass the salt?" Slurp.
"What? Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was consent!" The effect is somewhat
spoiled by giggles.

"Why can't it ever be a man who has unnatural interest in m'ears?" Kassima
mutters, reaching absently to give the lobe of one a quick tug. "'Twill
have t'take you at your word, methinks, May--" Pause. "And now I don't
think 'twill ever be eating salt again."

"What, you're okay with a man licking at your ears?" Yashira says, eyebrows
going up.

Kassima fidgets a bit against that entranceway. "I might at least let one
do it once," she says, "t'see what the fuss is about. If'n 'twas the right
man. And if'n May's right about it being such a good thing, I might
*consider* letting him do it more often. Assuming he'd want to in the first
place."

Maylia advises, "Just be careful how you ask me for salt, mentor-mine!" May
does her best eyebrow waggle for this one. "And it's hardly unnatural. Now,
it's not just letting someone lick your ears, it's doing it back, that I
enjoy. Trust me. Find someone who enjoys recieving, and you'll understand
what the benefits are!"

Yashira glances about a little. "Why are we still talking about this?"

Judging from Kassi's expression, she's not thinking that it's better to
give than to receive when it comes to this issue. "But, but," she protests,
plaintive, "I don't *want* a tongue full of wax! If'n someone else wants
t'dare such a thing I *might* let him, but for m'self? Methinks I'd have
t'be harboring a seriously deep and unbridled passion for the individual to
even be considering the idea. And you may be sure 'twill nay ask you for
salt *any* time soon. I'm nay sure, Yash. Mayhaps because we're masochists?"

Maylia groans, and holds up a finger. "Soapy finger. Squeak-squeak-squeak,"
she mimes cleaning her ear. "Honestly, there's nothing less sexy than a
waxy or flakey ear. We expect cleanliness everywhere else, why not there?"

"Because we're not expecting any licking there," Yashira says, then scowls.
"When are we getting drunk?"

Maylia objects, "But you can still *see* there, and icky ears are just
gross." She makes a face to complement this statement. "Drinking. Any time.
Pretty much. Now, sweaters, warm socks, wool trous? They'll be warm even
when wet."

Kassima has to agree, "I'd say a waxy ear doesn't sound sexy, but then,
'ear' period doesn't seem synonymous with 'sexy' t'me. Still, there are
things less so. Smelling like a sweat farm for one." She's easily
distracted though by talk of drinking: "While I'm personally inclined
t'vote for several months hence... 'tis your celebration, Yash, so whenever
pleases you, and whomever you like can be coming with."

"I'll never escape the ear thing, will I?" Yashira inquires.

Maylia had opened another chest, and surfaces at Yash's comment. "With ears
like yours?" She asks, peering over the lid. "Doubtful."

Kassima finds this a good time to cast her eyes up towards the ceiling and
chant, "I don't want t'know. I don't want t'know. I don't want t'know."

Yashira scowls more. "What's wrong with my ears?"

Maylia triumphantly holds up some red knit socks. "Socks!" She announces.
"A whole lot of them. What d'you think. Red, blue, green? Too much grey in
socks, usually, colour helps, even if it's under your boots." Yashira's
given a blank look, then, "Wrong? Nothing! Which is exactly *why* you'll
likely never hear the end of it."

Yashira rubs one earlobe. "May... sometimes you're scary."

"May's saying a lot of people will want to do things with your ears and
their tongues, I guess," Kassi hazards, while peering towards the socks.
"I'd probably say green, for a greenrider, but I've a bias. Blue's a good
color, too."

Maylia nods in agreement. "Green. Got several shades here. And found a
blanket. That oughtta be enough so I'm not arriving to visit empty-handed,
I'd say?" She gets up, closing the trunk's lid.

"What, no brown?" Yashira hmmphs. "Brown's a good colour. Black, too. Black
socks: they never get dirty."

Maylia gathers her findings together, and wrinkles her nose. "They might
not look dirty, but they smell if you don't clean'em. I'd rather not give a
weyrling the opportunity to skimp on cleaning. Green it is!"

Kassima allows with a bob of her head, "I like black, too. Goes with aught,
nay that it much matters inside your boots--but 'tis a point, there, that
she might skimp if'n she could. Since I don't think they can go to the
Springs yet and as cold as 'tis, *I'd* certes be tempted t'skimp."

Yashira waves her hand dismissively. "Hey, not like it's your problem
anymore. Or mine. I should probably get going, though... see you both later."

"My problem, if I have to spend time with her," May observes, "And
smell'em. But you're right. It's late. Time to find my Weyr - good luck
finding toys, Kassi!"

"And I should be getting t'my bed and t'my son." Kassi reaches her arms
towards the ceiling in a long stretch, then lets them fall. "'Twill be time
for toys on the morrow--g'deve t'you both, see you in drills, and
felicitations again, Yash."

Yashira grins a little, almost shyly. "Thanks."

You walk out of the weyr, having passed under the side of the crater and
out to the road that leads away from Telgar.