-------------------------------------------------------------------------- Shock Upon Shocks Date: October 17, 2002 Place: Ista Weyr's Southern Beach Game: PernMUSH Copyright Info: The World of Pern is copyright(c) to Anne McCaffrey l967. The Dragonriders of Pern(r) is a registered copyright. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Kassi's Note: Poor Kassima. Poor, poor Kassima. When she goes to Ista at her daughter's dragon's request, she's expecting to hear *something* she won't much like... but isn't remotely prepared for the bombshells Kaylira has to drop upon her unsuspecting mother. They're thankfully all happy kinds of bombshells, but that doesn't keep Kassi from nearly having an apoplexy right then and there. And how long it'll take her to recover from the news remains to be seen. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Log: Dragon> Pheirth bespoke Lysseth with << My Lira needs to talk to your rider >> Lysseth> Pheirth senses that Lysseth's mind is a bright thing at the moment, crystal spires glittering and glowing beneath a cool black sky; electricity crackles between them in acknowledgment of his presence and unspoken greeting before she asks, << Now? My Kassima will come, if she is needed-- >> Dragon> Lysseth senses that Pheirth sends thoughtful confirmation. << She does not say it must be now, though she does *worry* >> Lysseth> Pheirth senses that Lysseth pauses a moment in that, conferring with rider-mind. Her colors are a shade darker when she returns. << I have said this to my rider, and she would not hear now of not going. We come. >> You place one hand on Lysseth's neck and she warbles down at you fondly. You grin and scratch her eyeridges once before climbing up onto her lower neckridges, using the riding straps and Lysseth's thoughtfully offered foreleg. <*> Lysseth springs from the ground, the air from her wings churning up dust as she takes to the skies. You spring from Lysseth's ledge with one downsweep of your wings, soaring into the sky above the Northern Bowl. The rim of the bowl falls away from you and you soar into the open skies. Dragon> Lysseth senses that Pheirth sends image of the black sands and moonlit waters. << She is here. *Ista beach - south* >> <*> Lysseth disappears into Between. Between You gasp as the icy black nothingness of Between surrounds you! You hear nothing, see nothing, and feel nothing. The trip takes five heartbeats... Black... Blacker... Blackest! You suddenly emerge... <*> Lysseth emerges from Between with a blast of cold air! The wind is brisk and feels good under your wings, supporting your wings firmly as you glide lower into the bowl. You fly west, meeting the headwinds and flying to the corrals. You fly to the widest part of the beach and land. You head over to the south end of the beach. You slide off of Lysseth's neck to land beside her easily. She rumbles, cocking her head down at you, and you rub her eyeridges gratefully. Kaylira is standing at the waters edge, looking out at the ripples. Hearing arrival noises she half-turns, "Ready to turn in M'llo- oh." A paused moment. "Mum?" Another."Pheirth! You didn't." Kassima slips down from Lysseth's neck as soon as the green's picked her way across the sands towards the younger brown pair, scarcely giving her lifemate time to stop first. "Kaylira?" she calls, voice sharp with a touch of maternal anxiety. "Pheirth told Lysseth that you needed t'speak with us, but didn't provide details--oh, g'deve t'you too, Pheirth, a'course--what's *wrong*?" Kaylira murmurs, shakign her had, "Whats wrong is a nosy brown lump who.. I can't believe he did that." As she speaks she moves closer. "Not that I'm upset at seeing you and Lyss - hello sweetie, you're looking wonderful - but he's just been shameful about things lately. How are you mum?" Pheirth rumbles in a nondistinct manner and makes himself more comfortable. He's ignoring the scolding if looks are anything to go by. "I doubt he'd have called out to Lysseth if'n naught were wrong," Kassima points out, not one to be swayed easily from the matter at hand. "I'm glad t'see you, too, a'course, but you can bet a shard I'm nay leaving 'til I find out why he contacted us--" Lysseth offers a polite, even amiable rumble, dipping her muzzle briefly to the younger woman before settling in with a flip of wings; Kassima makes a vague gesture: "Oh, we're well enough, especially now that Her Ladyship has gotten the urge t'fly out of her system for another Turn or so--and a'course we went t'Greystones the other day, for Kiss's Turnday. Everyone sent on their greetings and love t'you, as always." Kaylira smirks at the first bit of news and smiles fondly at the second."Shards and shells, I forgot to send anything for Kiss.. I've been a little wrapped up in my own life there past sevendays. Which is why he who is ignoring me probably took it upon himself to call." She frowns slightly. "Well, I have been thinking about needing to talk to you.." Kassima assures drolly, her voice calmed down a bit from its initial worry-lent edge, "Kiss won't mind or mayhaps even notice if'n 'tis a bit belated, and I can pass on your good wishes for her if'n you like... now we get to it. What's wrong, kit? Is that bronzer treating you well?" Kaylira laughs, giving a broad grin. "More than well enough. Smart man - not that my knives are a lot closer to things he holds dear." She lets that subtley fall into place before launging into anythign else. Kassima elects to find a place to settle down in the sand, automatically patting the sand next to her in an invitation for Kay to sit likewise. "Now that your knives are closer?" she repeats, squinting a look upwards. "What, did you get drunk and threaten his manhood specifically, or...?" Telgar Weyr> Kassima gahhs. Oh, dear gods, my kid's a Wingleader. (And didn't tell me so I could put it in the last Encyc update! Bad Kay!) Telgar Weyr> Cheni laughs. You old thing you? Telgar Weyr> Kassima isn't old. :) Telgar Weyr> N'var says, "Your kid? Sheesh, you're almost as old as I am." Telgar Weyr> N'var then runs away. Telgar Weyr> Kassima hits N'var with rotten fruit! Telgar Weyr> Maylia wavers hey Telgar Weyr> Erdrick wonders if, not having kids, should make him feel young. :) Telgar Weyr> Cheni says, "wingleader Kid? must be a young kid. Hey Maylia" Kaylira follows suit and sits beside Kassi. "Of course not. I happen to like that part of his anatomy very much, thank you mother mine." It takes a bit to settle. "Try or. Out of the blue he asked. Of course what do I do but immediately fall apart and weep on him." She laughs at herself. "Pheirth there wasn't happy. Kept worrying about the egg of course - silly thing." Telgar Weyr> Maylia woos? Kaylira got wingleader? Telgar Weyr> Kassima nodnods. Already! Telgar Weyr> Kassima says, "And yes, she's fairly young. :) *Snugs May.*" "Now there's something I don't need t'be thinking too much about," Kassima mutters, and makes an exaggerated face in good humor. "So, wait, let me be understanding. You're *weyrmated* t'him now? Officially? He's given up Fluria?" Well, yes, this is Kassi; that would be her first assumption. "Shells, minx... I don't know what t'be saying. I could sit here and be stunned for a moment? Nay, nay--felicitations!" And she leans to attempt to wrap arms around her eldest in a bear hug, evidently sincerely happy for her. "'Twas starting t'think he'd *never* ask! Well, then! But wait, wait again, go back a moment," she directs, letting go and leaning back and brushing a strand of hair from her eyes. "The egg?" Kaylira hugs her mother back, giving her cheek a kiss. "Now, mum, whts our business is ours. And I dont ask who you share your bed with. Officially, yes." She takes a deep breath and lets it go with a happy sound. "I wasn't expecting it at all. Just..happened, I guess. Havne't even had a chance to ask why - we've both been so busy with things its all we can do of late to make it to bed at the same time.. and egg?" For the moment she has forgotten. Until she asks, and then her cheeks flare with colour."Oh, I guess I did say that, didn't I?" Though Kassi gives a fractional nod, she nonetheless says, firmly, "What's your business *becomes* mine if'n he ever does aught t'hurt you, be knowing that. If'n you're happy then I'll nay pry, but Faranth help him if'n he doesn't do right by you in this match." She's willing to leave it at that; her expression becomes more pleased, then, if not entirely content. "And you certes do sound happy. So I'll wish you both well... you did." She sounds distinctly suspicious. "Tell me about this egg, why don't you?" Kaylira Murmurs, "He'll do right, mum. And I can hurt him well enough on my own if he doesn't - you say it like he's the only one who might do wrong in this, you know?" Still, the other cna't be totally avoided. "Well, about the egg.." Pheirth lifts one lid lazily, regarding with a whuffle. As much as to say 'get it over with girl so I can stop worrying about you'. "Well, seems you're going to be a grandmother in.. oh, nigh close to seven months now I think it is." Kassima chuckles under her breath at this. "I know he's nay," she agrees. "But frankly, unless you do something truly terrible, I don't care much whether you wrong him. He makes you happy and for that I value him, but you're m'daughter and the one I love; a'course you're the one I don't want t'see hurt." She waits for anticipation for that explanation, but when it's given... well. Her reaction's interesting. She just sort of sits very still, eyes blinking slowly once, then twice; then her eyes widen, her mouth gapes a bit, and all that manages to emerge from her mouth is some high-pitched, very soft, barely audible squeaking. Kaylira smiles softly at that reaction. "Mum? You arne't going to pass out on me now, are you?" Squeeeeeeak. It doesn't seem entirely improbable that Kassi *will* pass out, of lack of breath if nothing else if she can't stop making that noise. After another couple moments of this, Lysseth intervenes by giving her rider a sharp nudge in the back--which nearly sends Kassi tumbling forward on the sand, but she manages somehow to keep her balance. "...A *grandmum*?" she repeats finally, still a bit squeakily. Kaylira blinks at her mother's reaction. "Thats what the healers tell me.. You're sure you're okay? I didn't mean to drop it on you like that - though there really isn't a good way to tell people is there?" Sighing she settles back. "I thought it would be easier. Its not." Kassima asks in dumbfounded fashion, "And this means you're *pregnant*?" Gee, she's sharp. Yes, Kassi, that's usually how it works. "How...?" You'd think after six kids of her own she'd learn. "I mean, I know *how*, but... but you're so *young*... older than 'twas, I suppose, but you're *young*. And *I'm* young. And, um... I need to breathe." Very true. Deep breaths. "*Shells*. Nay, nay, your method's all right. Better'n mine. 'Tis just *surprising*. The Healers are certain? You're *pregnant*?" Evidently she's having some slight trouble getting away from that one. Kaylira nods several times. "They're very certain. And Pheirth was before them.." Well, no time like the present for breaking hte other news - Kassi's already in a state of flummox. "Only the thing they can't tell me is who the father is." Kassima is in a state of flummox indeed. A very good term for it, flummox. "He'd know," she agrees, rather weakly. "You're *pregnant*... you're going t'have a *baby*... you don't know who the father is?" That last word comes out a bit shrill; surprised first, shocked second, she has no defenses left against showing her startlement anymore. Kaylira gives a small moan. "One night. One! Only - no, I dontknow which of them it is. I know who to pick between, just not which of them is responsible. And dont you fall apart over this. How do you think I feel? I hated Fluria for bearing M'llon's child when I couldnt'. And now I can't even say for certain that I am." "You don't... you...." Breathe! Kassi breathes. "One night, right. Was it a flight, then? And, all right, only two, that makes sense. Right." Faranth only knows how many people Kassi was *imagining* Kay might have to pick between. "I won't fall *apart*, Kay, but that's a sharding awful lot of surprise for one visit, y'know. You *couldn't*? What was this?" That elicits much more concern if not surprise than the rest of it, and she manages to blink from her shock-state enough to send her daughter a scrutinizing, worried look. "What told you you *couldn't*? Obviously, though," she adds, relaxing a touch, "you *can*, but... can I get this whole story from the beginning?" Kaylira asks in a tiny voice, "Do you want the other news first so you can recover from it all at once?" Kassima brings up a hand to rub at her eyelids, and never mind the grains of sand likely clinging to the fingers. "Mayhaps 'twould be better. I can't think of aught you'd likely tell me that'd surprise quite like this--" Kaylira murmurs quietly, "I got promoted again. Well, sort of. Just permanently." The hand drops, and Kassi's eyes raise back to her offspring. "Full Wingleader? You're Wingleader now?" Kaylira nods several times. "That would be it. I've been so busy picking through weyrlings and trying to chose seconds.. and moving.. and tracking down U'yn.. and its just been so busy.." A soft laugh escapes hte woman. "No wonder I forgot Kiss.. not that I could have come anyway, but soon as the healers say its alright I'll popp over for a visit?" "Tracking down U'yn?" Well, Kassi will get back to that in a moment. "Choosing 'seconds... shells, minx. Shells. How strange t'be thinking you're doing *my* job. But this is good news, happy news; I'm proud for you--*all* of it's good news, only... shocking. Y'know. Faranth." She breathes again, letting the breath out in a long, wondering sigh. "Sharding *straight* you needed t'talk t'me, even if'n Pheirth's the one who thought so and nay you. But enough of that. A'course she'd love a visit and so would I; can we backtrack a bit, though? Sort of? I want t'hear the story of how you became Wingleader too, mind--you've told me how M'llon asked you, but the rest of all of it I still *don't* know." Kaylira takes a steadying breath. "It *is* alot isn't it? Well, which first... Okay. M'llon I guess? Just, we've been together since I graduated and certainly more than he and Fluria - and nothing. Not even a close call or a worry. Nothing. I was really beginning to think maybe there was something wrong with me." Another soft exhale. "The night after Fluria gave birth.. well, U'yn ended up here all flight lost and.. I was pretty unhappy myself..." Though it doens't take much math to figure out that M'llon had to figure in that equation somewhere in that same close window. "You must go *between* a lot, with nay break from the Falls here," Kassi hazards with a furrowed brow, nodding slowly as she listens. "That might nay help you in conceiving. And you might nay have inherited the worst of the family fecundity; but at least that worry's over, 'tis nay so? If'n you're pregnant now. It must have been coincidence." Which she's relieved about, by the sound. "U'yn. *U'yn*. Y'mean--y'mean he's the other father? *Ursa's* son? *That* U'yn? *U'yn*?" She's not squeaking this time, but there's great surprise behind her repetitions. Kaylira nods, laughing slightly nervously. "That would be the one. And, Yes, between duty and lessons and drills and everything else - but you've had no problems. I'd half expected this to happen long ago now." Kassima rubs her hand against the side of her face, fingers briefly clutched in her hair before she forces them to relax. "Does *Ursa* know? Ursa should know. She's nay grandchildren *either*--dear bright stars and moons above--*U'yn*." She feels obliged to note, "When I encouraged you t'befriend him, this wasn't *quite* what 'twas expecting, you understand. But he's a good lad... good man, I suppose... if'n 'tisn't your love then he's nay a bad alternative, though shells, what Ursa will say... never mind that for now. Kit, don't be taking me for what's normal among women. I conceived the first time I lay with a man. 'Twas celibate outside of flights for most of m'life 'til last Turn, and I still ended up with six children. That's nay *normal* even for our family. Don't be thinking there's aught wrong with you because you haven't had the same luck." [Editor's Note: Whether Kassi meant good or bad luck here is up for debate. ;) ] Kaylira flushes faintly. "Well, I must be the other end of that spectrum. And no, Ursa wouldnt' know. I asked U'yn to wait until I coudl tell you.. which, I suppose means the brown busybody could send word now if he wanted.." She pauses thoughtfully. Kassima shakes her head sharply at that. "What, because you've been with a man a couple of Turns without a child? Pshhh. You're far from the first woman t'nay conceive in that short a time. Doesn't mean you'll have problems bearing or problems bearing *more* if'n you want more," even if that thought makes her pause to breathe again. "I'm sure you're healthy. Did the Healers say otherwise? And speaking of Healers, you'll need one at the birthing, a'course, and mayhaps a midwife if'n you can be having one. When's the baby *due*?" Kaylira counts, "Best we can say is 7 months from now - would have been my turnday - near enough anyway - that they think. And of course I'm healthy! Perhaps a bit tired at times and certainly weepy enough to make me want to scream, but other than that you'd never know." "Seven months," Kassi marvels, soft. "Faranth's ever-loving wings... you don't throw up? *That's* a miracle in and of itself. Welladay. Mark that you *stay* healthy, and drink all that sharding milk the Healers will tell you to, even if'n you hate it; have you wanted any strange foods yet? I suppose that usually comes later--shardit, I'm rambling. Forgive me, minx. You'll have t'send word when 'tis near your time, y'know, and I'll try t'be making it--or be waiting for word, if'n you're nay wanting many people there." Kaylira grins. "No throwing up. Nothing. Just a lot more like those holder girls I've always hated.. Its worse than being sick I think. Though the healers say I should be grateful and that could all change with the next - are they always like that mum? Speaking of the next before this one is here?" She gives a quick hug, kissing Kassi's cheek. "Right now I'm quite certain I'll want you there, though if hte time comes and my mind changes, you'll forgive, right?" Kassima reassures with some of her regular composure, "That, too, should pass in time, though i'truth mood swings can be lasting throughout. I'd take those over the throwing up--that I *never* managed t'be escaping; don't be so sure you'd trade! That's the way of Healers, aye--and what's all the more obnoxious is that they're *right*." Wrapping an arm around her daughter's waist, she hugs back. "'Twill, 'twill. I'd like t'be here for you and t'see m'g--m'gr--your child," that much she can manage, "but, i'truth, 'tis a painful and wretched and somewhat embarrassing experience, childbirth. If'n you want it confined t'your Healer and your fathers, I can be understanding that. Have you good Healers here? Should I send t'Sauscony and ask her t'check in on you? She attended me with Kiss, and she's the least objectionable Healer I've ever seen at a childbirth." Kaylira's eyes widen, "We do, but I'd ever so like Sauscony to attend if you think she would?" Kassima bobs her head firmly. "Methinks she would. 'Twill ask Is t'be pulling some strings for me if'n I can't manage it; he's a good friend of hers. But I don't doubt she'd help you, and while I don't think for as much as a moment you'll have any trouble--Mum's problem does *nay* run in either side of our family, 'twas a fluke only--I'd still certes be more at peace knowing there's a Craftsecond attending you. Only don't tell *her* that. 'Tis too much a compliment for me t'pay a Healer and want 'em t'know it." Kassima adds for good measure, "And as best I know, the women on your father's family had nay difficulties with childbearing either." Kaylira laughs. "Mum! You're incorrigeable.. Hope you dont feel quite the same aobut all healers - I'm certain to have bits more free time between now and when teh babe comes to finish up my training with Kindre. Faranth what a busy turn this has been!" "*Dragon*healers are different. They don't want t'corner you and stick improper things where they shouldn't be stuck," Kassima insists, if not without half a smile. "Wingleader *and* Dragonhealer--I can't be imagining how you'll balance those jobs, but I'm sure you *will*, and there's something t'be said for being able t'help your own injured directly. Speaking of which, how's the Wing taking your condition? Have you settled on which Wingsecond will be leading drills and such, or d'you nay have two? You'd have left a spot open when you ascended, I suppose--" Kaylira nods, "Spots open. We've had a few bits of turnaround since Tella only chose one.. and when she left Tamina took Weyrsecond.. I'm looking for two for just that reason. Its narrowed down quite a bit now, but it wasn't easy. As for how - well, other than 'tweening, I'm still doign most of the duties. A few brows lifted in that way they always do, but it happened the same day pretty much I stepped up officially - though its not being announced until the graduation. But you know how these things go." Kassima dips her chin in a nod. "Just be cautious, kidlet; I don't know how your Istan drills go, but with ours, I'd nay *want* t'fly without being able t'hop *between*. But without any Wingseconds, you'll need to... you'd best choose fast, though. Once you get very big, I don't think you could possibly be leading drills and certes nay Fall--you aren't leading in Fall *now*, are you?" with some horror at the idea coming through. "Well, but I tell you your job. You know what nay t'be doing; the Healers will tell you if'n nay anyone else." Kaylira shakes her head, "I do nobody any good if I injure myself now, mum. I'm not leading anything but drill and even those I'm handing off in rotation to give others a bit of practise - recent, I'll admit, but U'yn actually gave me the idea." Kassima nods slowly, warily; it's perhaps visible in her expression that she doesn't entirely approve of this method, but to her credit she doesn't say this. "Nay t'mention that if'n you flew with a Wing in Fall, you'd have t'hop *between* so much you'd risk losing the baby... I don't doubt your ability t'fight, 'tis more miscarriage that concerns me. But that, too, you'd be knowing. U'yn, now--does *he* intend t'do right by you both? Visit you and make sure you're well and have an interest in the bairn if'n it turns out t'be his?" Kaylira frowns slightly. "Mum.. I know its because you care, but .. thats not rightly proper a question to be asking me." "I assumed you'd asked him the same," Kassi reasons, frowning slightly back. "Though I suppose... shells. That's right. I never asked either. Didn't think 'twas right t'ask 'em; strange how different it seems from this end of things--well, then, I'll ask *him* as soon as I get the chance. A bit more nicely than that, a'course; I like the lad, even if'n he did--" She breaks off and shakes her head, letting just *what* he did go unsaid. It's not like the situation doesn't make it obvious what he must have done. Kaylira gasps, "MOTHER! You will do no such thing! I asked him myself and then told him he had no need if he was uncomfortable. Shards and shells, woudl you have a man forced to give affection to a woman and child when it wasn't his choice? I'd rather eat wherry." Kassima returns sharply, "I didn't say I'd *tell* him t'do those things, I said I'd ask him what his intent was! You can't force affection and 'twould be wrong t'try, I won't argue that, but can you blame me for wanting t'know what he thinks of it, what he plans?" Relenting somewhat, she adds--reluctantly--"He may owe naught, but I'd still like t'know that you'll be cared for... I don't worry about M'llon. I've confidence you'd make him regret it if'n he *didn't*, for one thing. U'yn, though, I'd like t'know his mind." Kaylira sighs, "I told you I was.. off. And I dont know how he feels. It was a bit of a shock to him too, you know. Besides, how do you expect that every babe conceived in flight should be done right by the father?" She adds after a moment, "I think he'll be there, though. Once he gets over it." "A'course every babe conceived in flight should be done right by the father," Kassi returns, with a blink. "That's one of the rules of Weyr living, that a man sees that any children he sires are in decent straits and their mothers likewise. He might nay be obliged t'take you or the child in or tend you with his own hands, but he sharding well should have some concern for your welfare, at the least! Which I suppose is well enough for him; you *are* in decent straits, so if'n he doesn't want... aught t'do with things...." Clearly, that's difficult for her to say. "Then he won't need t'worry. We'll see. I remember him as a decent young man, and I know his mothers both loved him dearly. I'd be surprised if'n he'd nay give a whit for a child he may have sired. I'd still like t'ask him, mind you." Brightening, "You think he'll want t'be there for the birth? That's well. That's very well. An excellent sign if'n 'tis true." Kaylira nods. "Mum, I'm sure he'll be okay once the shock wears off - he's a very nice man. I quite like him. In fact, if it weren't for M'llon.." Kassima smiles slowly at that, more of the tension leaving her frame. "I'll be trusting your judgment, particularly since that sounds like Rulyn as I knew him. And I'm sure he'd be honored t'hear you say that last--though I won't tell him, don't be worrying. 'Tis sounding as though things will go right for you." She blows out another breath. "Now all that's left for me is getting over the shock m'self. *Shards.* Wait, wait, I've nay asked--the name. You'll give the bairn a fortunate name...?" Kaylira buries her face in her hands, but the giggles that escape are notice enough that she's not upset. "Of course! Think I'd break with tradtion?" "You'd do better nay to! Remember what happened with your cousin Tariken! He named *his* firstborn Tarinyl," Kassima warns, lifting a finger to shake it at her eldest in a chide that's entirely facetious, "and straight away the child was dropped on his *head*. He was fine, but 'tis just going t'show how unfortunate every name but a K-name can be. Welladay, I'm certes glad of that. I'll be sure t'tell your Grandsire; he'll be thrilled--and your foster-mum, too, though she likely won't care as much." Being from Kassi's mother's family, where the K is not a longstanding tradition. "Shells. I'll have t'be telling all your sibs they'll be aunts and uncles. *That* should be interesting." Kaylira laughs outright, hands dropped from her face. "Oh, I do hope they're pleased. Its a very exciting time.. and, of course, Pheirth is acting as if he'd sired a clutch and thensome about the whole matter. I never knew how entirely interfering he could be until now - not that I dont love him all hte more for it." She gives her brown a fond glance. "Pretending he's not listening. As usual." Kassima's matching laughter is very soft. "Lysseth was never quite that way with any of you... but I'll be glad t'know he's watching over you, too. Mnementh's teeth know you're nay likely t'lack for aught if'n your lifemate can help it." She tenders Pheirth a look that holds some affection and approval in it. "I'm glad he contacted us--stars alone know what *other* surprises you'd have had for me if'n I'd visited in a sevenday!" Kaylira continues to laugh, "I can't think what else *could* happen in that time.." She sniggers, "Unless Pheirth somehow managed to sire a clutch. That would about put a cap on it, wouldn't it?" "Better: if'n he outflew Bromith for Qirith and made you Weyrleader. *That* would make the shock of shocks complete." Kassi waggles her brows at her daughter, grinning. "A good sire he might make! *Are* any Istan queens nigh due?" Kaylira shakes her head thoughtfully. "Not that I know of.. but its not like I've paid much attention of late." Grinning she adds, "for all I know he's flown and won and I just haven't caught up to him yet." Such a notion garners an emphatic snort. "Trust me," Kassi drawls, "if'n he'd flown and won, you'd *know*--speaking thereof, has he? With a green? Nay that it matters a whit, only it occurs t'me I don't know." Kaylira shakes her head. "Not a once. He doesn't seem to mind." She grits her teeth with memory. "Myself is another matter. Not sure if winning would be an improvement or not." Kassima arches curious brows at her daughter. "You've had ill experiences with losing?" Kaylira mms, "Let us just say I dont go drown my sorrows in drink." "Did the men--did *those*," for Kassi knows, after all about Tella, "whom you were with nay treat you well?" Kaylira blinks, "Oh, nothing like that.. its more - odd to feel so.. angry. M'llon thinks I might feel different if Pheirth won, or if it were perhaps a male rider.. I dont know. There's always a point where I feel so .." She gestures a sfrustration with her hands. "You know, I love Pheirth completely, but sometimes I wonder if this would be easier if I were a man." Why the two things should exclude one another is questionable. but in her mind there is obviously a link Silence rules from Kassi's corner while she considers the matter. "I don't know," she finally says, "whether 'twould assist aught. I knew a man once whose lifemate didn't win, and he could be angry about it--nay angry *with* his lifemate, but angry on his lifemate's behalf; why hadn't he caught, when he surely deserved the catch? Is that similar t'your anger? There's never anger when you win," she appends, very quiet. "Afterwards, mayhaps, but never at the time. I can't see why 'twould be aiding Pheirth in winning or chasing if'n 'twere male." Kaylira shakes her head and looks out over hte water. "No, the anger isn't with losing. Pheirth is always content after a flight - its so odd. He's just happy to have been there and done his best.. Its more watching the rider waiting. There's always this moment where she looks so small or terrified or just plain laid out like a victim and I *know* its not like that but somehow it keeps coming up." She sighs. "Might just be the flights we've stumbled into..Or maybe a failing in me." "I've never seen one--it goes without saying. I've never *seen* any greenrider in the throes of flight." Kassima curves a wry grin, more for herself than for the woman who's looking elsewhere. "I've only *been* the greenrider--but I've heard of greenriders who don't mind the catch, who anticipate it, who *want* it. Mayhaps someday you'll chase one of those. Speaking as a greenrider, that moment a'fore the catch... 'tis when you know you'll be caught, or rather more your dragon than you. I'm nay *me* when that fear or rage or despair floods in. I don't know whether 'tis so for all, but 'tisn't a fear of the males for an experienced green; only, only you don't *want* t'be caught until you are. And 'tis all so inevitable, after all. I don't know if'n I explain well. But that greenrider who looks like a victim just a'fore won't likely feel like a victim a moment later. You're too caught up in your dragon's joy. There's naught t'be guilty about if'n you catch--M'llon might be right that a catch would be the best way t'prove it t'you. I don't know that 'twould help if'n 'twere a male; they feel the same as a female, y'know, ostensibly. But I'd nay call it a *failing* in you t'feel compassion." Kaylira's brow furrows, "You dont think.. that maybe I'm why he hasn't caught, do you? That maybe I dont want him to?" Kassima frowns to herself in thought, mulling. "I don't know," she finally admits. "'Tis presumably *possible* that 'tis so. The rider's preferences and thoughts can influence the dragon. I've always wondered if'n I'm nay the reason Lyss rises so seldom more than she is. On the other hand, it might have naught t'do with you; it might be sheer luck." Kaylira nods thoughtfully. "Well, he certainly doens't seem to mind losing.. I'm sure he will win someday. Thats scary." "Because you don't want t'bed the greenrider?" Kassima hazards. "Because you think 'twould disturb him t'win? I doubt it, y'know. Riders have their hang-ups, but I've never heard of a dragon who didn't glory in catching or being caught once the catch is made." Kaylira corrects with reassurance, "No, I just.. its new, you know? I've never been in that position, so part of me thinks.. well, its just scary. Not in a I'll avoid it way. Just like the first time we faced fall. Or standing on the sands. Or any other number of htings in life that are okay. You know?" Kassima bobs her head in accord. "'Twas afraid of m'first flight," she grants willingly. "Nervous, afraid, all of that--didn't help that I'd never been with anyone at all. But you can't know what to expect, and there's nay getting out of winning when you ride a green; I'll tell you a thing, though. Y'know I don't care for bedding women in the least. And I normally wouldn't care for bedding strangers. But when 'tis a flight, a won flight, it simply doesn't matter what the gender is or whether I know the person a whit--you enjoy it. You likely enjoy it immensely." Red? Oh, yes. "The only difference for me is that I seem t'throw m'self more into *Lyss* if'n 'tis a female, so m'memories of what happened are *hers* and I only have the vaguest recall of me. The more I like the person in question the more I seem t'be remembering. I don't know whether 'tis the same for all. Methinks there are greenriders who never remember and greenriders who never forget. Maleriders of both varieties, too. But *during the moment*, you enjoy it, even if'n later 'tis awkward or what have you." Kaylira smiles at that answer. "I'm sure it will be okay and once done I'll wonder what hte fuss was about. Course I'm hoping he behaves himself at hte moment. I've enough on my plate to worry about without that!" Her chuckle suggests she's not entirely serious. Again Kassima nods. "'Tis likely so--and aye, now wouldn't be the best time! Your life's certes busy enough without that, methinks anyone with sense would agree." Kaylira nods, then asks softly, "So, did you ever expect this when you'd come to watch the sands that day?" Kassima lets the corners of her mouth curve up in a smile. "For your Impression, I mean? Some of it. I figured you'd have children someday, if'n nay a'fore 'twas old and grey and tottering m'self; thought you might have rank, if'n nay this soon; I didn't expect the confusion over sires, or that you'd weyrmate to a man who may be m'senior in age and your Weyrleader besides. But what's life without a few surprises? Besides which," reaching a hand to clasp and gently squeeze her daughter's arm for a brief moment, "all that matters, at least of the things nay connected t'duty, is that you're happy." Kaylira leans enough that she can lay her head to her mother's shoulder. "Very much so. It feels good. Bits of it are scattered and harder to understand or accept. But overall, mum, I am happy. Content. I like my life. My duties. I'm proud of what I do." Kassima shifts her grip to one of an arm around Kay's shoulders, tipping her head so that her cheek's against the shorter woman's hair. "That's all I can be asking," she murmurs. "All I can be asking for you. That you're happy and that you serve your duty well. I'm proud of what you do, too." She's content to linger in silence for a long moment before saying, on a sigh, "And I suppose I should be leaving you to it all; even if'n I didn't need sleep, *you* surely do." Kaylira nods with a deep sigh. "I suspect someone let M'llon know we were talking - he had offered to be here, but I think this is better. Mind, if I dont head in soon, he will be out here to scold I'm certain. So perhaps I should let you return home and get some sleep before I have to get up again to attend to duty." "And I have t'be getting up again to attend to same." Kassima reluctantly lets her go, rising to her feet with a minor shower of sand from the legs of her slacks. "Faranth forfend you should come under a scolding. Listen, though, now--if'n you need aught from us, have Pheirth relay through Lysseth, y'hear? If'n we can, we'll come; and if'n we can't, we'll come when we can. Whether 'tis a particular thing or just someone t'talk to. And take sharding good care of yourself and your bairn." Kaylira rises herself, "As though I'll be allowed the luxury of anything else!" Kassima makes a face at Kay, then holds out her arms to offer one last hug. "I've nay said it yet, and 'tis important: congratulations, m'dear. I *am* happy for you, don't doubt it, and all of this is a truly wonderful thing. I hope 'tis bringing you the joy it promises." Kaylira hugs her mother tightly. "Thanks. You don't know how important it is for me to hear that you're happy about this." If Kassi is tempted to correct Kay's phrasing, she doesn't say so, and it doesn't show in the expression she wears when she pulls back with reluctance from the hug. "I aim t'serve," she assures flippantly, turning to walk towards the green who's already risen from her comfortable lounging. "Clear skies t'you and yours, minx, as ever; and don't forget about taking care!" You place one hand on Lysseth's neck and she warbles down at you fondly. You grin and scratch her eyeridges once before climbing up onto her lower neckridges, using the riding straps and Lysseth's thoughtfully offered foreleg. <*> Kaylira offers as her mother lets go, "I'm happy, mum. Truly I am. More than you know." Of course, she'll not know if Kassi heard or not. <*> Lysseth wasn't standing very far away, so it's likely that even up on her neck that Kassi did hear; the words cause a faint smile to cross her face as she fastens the chin-strap of her helmet, then gives a final wave before Lysseth goes aloft. <*> Lysseth spreads her wings to their full extent, bringing them down with a rush of wind as she leaps nimbly into the air. You leap up and are borne aloft by the winds.