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Snakes and Snails and Puppy-Dog Tails


Date:  May 6, 2004
Place:  Lysseth and Kassima's Weyr
Game:  PernMUSH
Copyright Info:  The World of Pern is copyright(c) to Anne McCaffrey 
l967. The Dragonriders of Pern(r) is a registered copyright.

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Kassi's Note:  This scene was a lot of fun at the time.  For a short
span, I found a player for Kaswyn (or rather, turned the keys over to 
the person who was originally supposed to be his player)--it didn't 
take that person long to drop the ball activity-wise, unfortunately, 
and within a couple of months I had the character back due to 
personality conflicts.  But there was a brief series of scenes 
before things went to heck, and I enjoyed them enough that I've 
decided to post them.  

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The Log:

Presumably Kaswyn gets a ride up to the Weyr from whoever's on elevator
duty at the moment, since well...he can't fly. So if Lysseth's in a mood to
warn you, you'd at least have warning that your almost-youngest is about to
come pelting into the room. He's -not- dressed in the same way he was
earlier in the day, and he's looking especially recently laundered. Well,
and pleased with himself. This is not always a good combination. "Momma,
Momma, Momma!" Because clearly you might not hear him if he just greets you
once.

Apparently Lysseth's feeling charitable today, since Kassi's putting aside
the report that she was reading as you rush in; she holds out her arms in
an automatic invitation for a hug and possible lap-sittingage. "Heyla t'you
too, Kazy-love!" she says cheerfully, and only then seems to realize the
close change. Blink. "What happened t'your clothes, imp?"

Charitable is probably a plus, as Kaswyn is all for swarming up for both
that hug, and use of the lap, and he might not have been so good about
waiting for hidework to be put aside. Four? Not a patient age. Not to
mention an unoccupied lap is something to invade, lest one of the other
smaller kids sneak in ahead of him. "I got to play with the canines and the
mud!" He enthuses, as if obviously this was just the best thing ever, and
of course you'd be just as thrilled. "And then the new man came and made
squawking noises, like a duck. Well, when the ducks get scared. But he made
me get all the mud off." Clearly, a cruel fate, being made to be clean.
"Because he didn't want you to remove his skin."

And while Kassi probably wouldn't have cared so much if the poor hide got
crumpled in sacrifice to hugs, whoever wrote it would probably be annoyed
if they knew, and the Weyrleaders might be annoyed later. Official-types
have whacked priorities. The hug she gives, and a hair-ruffle straight
after, leaning back in the chair to make sure there's plenty of room for
both of them. "Canines and the *mud*," she repeats, sounding entertained.
She can afford to be: he's clean *now*. "How'd you end up with canines
*and* mud? Were the canines in the mud? Oh, *dear*--" Please excuse her
while she tries not to snicker. It's a valiant effort, really. Vain, but
valiant. "Kazy, you didn't upset your nanny *too* badly, did you? He seems
at least a *wise* man, though I might nay have gone for his skin. He's new.
I'd cut him some slack. I'd just take an ear."

And while Kaswyn would no doubt volunteer to -explain- to the Weyrleaders
about how the hide became crumpled, it might leave something to be desired.
'No, really sir. There was a lap. And the lap is sometimes hard to come by.
I have this -brother- you see. And a -sister-. Do you have a sister?
Sisters are very complicated.' There's a delighted look for the hug, which
he returns, and an amused one for the hair-ruffle, which he does not.
"Puppies," he enthuses. "There were puppies, and they got out. And so I had
to make sure they didn't get hurt." Uh-huh, yeah, right. AKA, he had to
sneak away and get messy. "The canines were messier than I was, even." He
sobers then, and looks suitably repentant. Well, sort of. "He stopped
squawking -eventually-. And he wasn't as slow as a lot of them are. Slow is
boring. He's not boring. Let him keep his ears, maybe?"

Kassima would probably be very entertained to witness this, though. But she
is not a cruel mother, and so she would be reluctant to introduce her
beloved and innocent son to the evils and tortures of multi-hour official
meetings. There'll be time enough for that when he's older. "Ah, now,
*puppies*. Suddenly it all comes clear. Are you sure they got out on their
own? You didn't help them even a *little*?" She's teasing rather than
stern. "Mmm-hmm. Well... since *you* intercede on his behalf, m'dear, I may
just leave him intact, *this* time. Goodness knows, I'm glad t'hear you
approve of him at least somewhat. 'Twould nay want t'stick you with someone
dull; they could *never* keep up with you."

Kaswyn would probably fall asleep in a conspicuous location, or try and get
down on the floor and pretend to be a tiger, and pounce on feet. Either
way? We're not talking terribly useful yet. Give him a few turns. Hopefully
he'll grow out of the pouncing thing at least. Although if he doesn't, it
could at least be amusing, say when he's in his thirties. "I didn't let 'em
out this time, nope, nope," he's quick to assure. "Because um...there was a
really good reason I'm not supposed to do that." Pause. "I just forget why.
But it was really, really good. But see, they got out on their own. I think
they were lonely. Isn't that sad? Lonely puppies. They should get let out
more." He considers then, and nods. "Dull is bad. And I -tried- to go slow.
I'll try better tomorrow." Pause. "Maybe." Well, he's honest, at least.

Oh, I don't know. If he kept pouncing on leader-types' feet, perhaps they
would be disturbed and disgruntled enough to end the meeting early? Sounds
pretty useful to me. If he still does it when he's thirty, though, that
will be a different story... but Kassi would probably still cheer him on.
Because anything that livens up meetings is good. "Because if'n they got
out and the Herders didn't catch them in time," she reminds, tweaking one
ink-dark curl, "then a dragon might eat the puppies, and that would be very
sad. You don't want the puppies t'be eaten, d'you? But if'n someone *else*
let them out, then 'twas good of you t'help get them back. Mayhaps what
they need is even more puppies t'play with. And the occasional wee boy,
hmm?" She has to grin at the promise. "Trying counts for something. Maybe,
once he's used t'you, Jivren will speed up some too, so you don't have t'go
so slow." Poor Jivren.

And hey, the expressions on faces would be terrific. At the additional
explanation, Kaswyn looks very serious for the moment, a comical expression
on one so young. "Ohhh, yeah, that's the good reason," he agrees, nodding
in such a fashion that those curls wobble about. "Because puppies do not
make good snacks. They are cute. Food should not be cute. At least not when
it is being eaten." The world according to Kazy. "And more puppies sounds
-very- good. And I like playing with the puppies. They are lots more fun
than most people are." He tilts his head to one side, and then straightens
to nod. "That would be good. Maybe if he just gets lots of practice.
Although I think he liked chasing me better than chasing Dara," he decides,
naming another rider's daughter, one his own age. "He had Dara before. And
Dara bit him." Pause. "Twice. She does that."

"That's right. But exceptions can be made for cookies and cupcakes,
methinks, since sometimes the Bakers decorate those so that they're pretty
cute. They're still yummy." Kassi gives a decisive nod to emphasize this
Wisdom of the Ages. "Why don't you suggest it to the lady in charge of the
puppies when you see her next, then? Tell her you think the puppies need
more puppies t'play with. Mayhaps she hasn't thought of that. You have to
admit, though, that most people at least don't go to the bathroom anywhere;
*that's* nay fun." Wryly said, that; with Kaisan still in diapers, Kassi
knows well whereof she speaks. "Dara *bit* him? Really? Did it leave tooth
marks? You'll have t'be sure nay t'bite him, Kazy. Then he wouldn't be
willing t'chase you, either, and I'd probably have t'find another nanny,
and that one might try t'make you do boring stuff. Like embroider or
something."

"Cookies and cupcakes aren't -alive- cute, so that's okay," Kaswyn decides
to agree, after a moment's further serious reflection on this vastly
important issue for the ages. Life According to Kazy, Rule #1 - Food Should
Not Be Cute. "I'll say that too her. She might listen. She's very nice, the
puppy-lady is. She doesn't give me the look." He considers this further,
one small foot twitching thoughtfully. "Does this mean we can put Kaisan in
with the puppies? Or we could put diapers on the puppies. But I think
putting Kaisan in with the puppies would be better. Because I bet he likes
puppies too." And it would mean more lap time for him. Never let it be said
he didn't at least inherit -some- of his mother's wily ways. "Yep. It left
a place shaped like her mouth on his arm. I won't bite. Biting's for
-babies- like Dara." Pause. "Boring is -bad-." Yeah, the idea of embroidery
didn't appeal.

One foresees there someday being a long list of rules in Life According to
Kazy; one further imagines this list potentially sounding like Deep
Thoughts, by Jack Handey. Except with a lot more content concerning the
evils of siblings. "Good point, and very clever. You don't want t'eat
things *alive* that are cute. Because being eaten might make them very
sad," Kassima agrees. "Dragons can't help it, they have t'be eating
critters, but at least most of those critters aren't cute in any sense.
What, put him in *alone* with the puppies?" Kassi's decidedly entertained
by this idea. "Don't you think that might traumatize the puppies? I don't
think he should go see the puppies yet unless someone else were there
t'supervise him. Mayhaps his big brother, even." There's a pause before she
has mercy, and relents, "Or his big sister. Good! You're very right, Kazy.
And so long as you behave, you probably won't have t'embroider. Keep that
in mind next time you're tempted to let the puppies out."

Well, life is very complicated. It needs a lot of rules, surely? "Yes. And
if they're cute, the sad looks will be really bad. It's not so bad when
herdbeasts give you sad looks. Because they are herdbeasts, and smell bad.
So it's okay that dragons eat them. Because dragons are cuter than
herdbeasts." The Circle of Life, Cuteness Edition? "He can stay there. They
won't mind if he yells," he offers, oh-so-terribly generously. And you get
a -look- at the idea of brother-supervision. "His big sister would be
better. She's bigger." Logic, thy name is Kazy. There's a long sigh. "Okay,
then I'll be good. I was going to be good anyway, though, promise.
Sometimes being good is hard though." Just so you're -aware- of the massive
concessions he's granting?

Oh, no doubt. Though Kassi manages to make do mostly with just one: 'If
anything can go wrong, blame it on M'rgan.' But it would be kinder if Kazy
didn't end up with this philosophy. Mart might, by the time he's grown,
almost have suffered enough. "The sad looks will be *terrible*," Kassi's
willing enough to grant. "See, this is why I'd never ever let Uncle Pie
make you into a stew, because I bet you'd look really sad, and 'twould make
me cry. And your Daddy would cry, and Kaisan would cry, and even *Kiss*
might cry." Imagine that. "I don't know. You've heard how *loud* he yells;
they might. And what if'n he tried t'chew on their tails? I bet he would,
and we'd be back to sad puppies. 'Twill see if'n Kiss will do it, though."
She'll be so thrilled to have been volunteered. "Awww, poor Kazy-love. But
I do appreciate that you try. Is it really *that* hard?"

Besides, Kaswyn would have a hard time pinning spilled drinks and torn
clothing on M'rgan, even if he was so inclined. "Besides, I would make very
bad stew," he decides. "I'm too chewy. And even Kaisan is too chewy, even
though he is younger, and younger things are usually less chewy. He is one
of those 'ception things." He considers a moment, and sighs. "He can yell
-really- loud. And the puppies being sad would not be good. Because they
are nice puppies." He nods firmly to that last. "There's so much stuff I'm
not 'sposed to do. And the stuff I am 'sposed to do is not always fun. I
learned the song about the Holds having to give the Weyrs stuff the first
time. The part where they keep making us sing it is annoying. It takes them
too long to do a new song."

Yeeeeah, this is true. Because, you know, a little boy pinning spilled
drinks and torn clothes on an adult man sounds a little too Michael
Jacksonesque, and the only thing Mart has in common with Michael Jackson is
that he always comes out looking like him when I try to draw him. Honest.
"How d'you *know* you're chewy?" Kassi simply must ask, bemused. "Or that
Kai's chewy? You haven't been chewing on him, right?" Disturbing mental
images, folks. "I'm glad they're nice puppies. I still *might* let Kai go
spend some time with the puppies, if'n Kiss is willing t'take him. Or
mayhaps I could ask Uncle V'dan for a favor. And then we could go visiting
somewhere while Kaisan's with the puppies, t'make up for you losing time
with the puppies. What d'you think?" She's completely guileless, quite as
if she hadn't guessed why Kazy might be trying to pawn his brother off on
puppies. "Hmmm. Now that's interesting. I guess 'tis because some of the
kidlets aren't as bright as you, Kazy-bug." Proud mother much? "Have they
started teaching you t'read your letters yet?"

Kaswyn will simply have to find someone of his own generation to blame
things on. Or more likely, knowing him, he's going to be the one blamed for
things. "I just -know-," he explains, as if this were the most logical
answer in the world. "Because I do not want to be stew. So I must be chewy.
And no, chewing would be biting, and biting is for babies, and I'm not a
baby." He brightens utterly at the idea of going visiting somewhere. "I
like that idea a lot. Because Kai might be kind of fun someday, but you're
more fun. And Kisai's lots of fun, but I don't think she thinks I'm so much
fun," he admits, as if this were perhaps something you'd managed to miss.
"Well, they need to hurry up and stop being stupid," he decides,
contentedly, as if this were something they're likely to do any day now.
"Oh yeah, some of them. But they're slow with that too. They need to give
us more letters. Because with only so many, there's not that many words you
can make."

Alas, this is probably true. But perhaps, if the fates are kind, there
won't be a Kassima-equivalent in Kazy's generation. Unless Kisai counts.
She's already gotten in trouble once for kicking Kyjain between the legs in
a fight. "Okay." Kassi's vastly amused, but she accepts this. "You do nay
wish t'be stew, therefore you are chewy. And you don't want Kai to be stew,
therefore he is chewy? Aww, that's sweet of you, Kazy. And nay, you're nay
really a baby anymore." She's a bit wistful there. "More fun than a little
brother? I'm touched! Well, we'll definitely have t'do that then. Where
would you like t'go? And Kisai... well, she likes you, methinks. She's just
nay so good at this having younger siblings thing yet." It's very hard for
her not to laugh outright at the comment regarding stupidity; she says,
"Don't know how likely that is, m'love, but 'twill tell you what. If'n
you're really, really sure that you'd like t'go faster with the songs and
letters and what-all, I could talk to the Harper. He might be willing
t'move you up t'some more advanced things. But that might be harder than
what you're doing now."

Kisai probably counts, at least in Kaswyn's limited purview. Although he
might object to the comparison, at that, since he's pretty much convinced
you hung the moons, and that Kisai is just...complicated. "Yep. I am very
chewy. So no stew. Besides, I bet that'd be even messier than mud, and
Jivren would make the scared duck noise again." He nods then firmly. "I'm
almost all grown up. Any day now, I get to be a grownup." He nods then
firmly, curls going everywhere. "Lots more fun. And I don't care where.
Places that aren't here all seem neat, because they aren't the same." He
pauses a moment, looking quietly thoughtful. "I would think that having two
would be enough practice. Maybe she'll get better at it if you have more of
us." He sighs for a moment, at the idea that the other kids aren't going to
hurry up and get smarter. There's a moment's sort of pause. "Will harder be
less boring?"

And Kassi would probably both appreciate and be amused by the objection,
for all that her view of Kisai is naturally automatically brighter. She can
afford it: Kiss isn't *her* sibling. "Well, aye," she has to admit,
"'twould be a *lot* messier than mud. Things are messy when you kill them.
You should trust me on this. But what's the hurry t'be a grownup? D'you
really *want* t'have t'write reports and do chores and work all day instead
of play? And be too big for m'lap?" she wants to know, affecting a wounded
tone--but there's a grin right after, to show him she was kidding. "Being a
kid is better. We'll think of a place, then. Could go t'Greystones, see
Grandmum and Grandsire and Aunt Jessamyne and the runners; or could go
t'Southern t'see your daddy, or Boll t'play on the beach, or lots of
places. Well, she is getting *better*." Kassi laughs; she can't help it.
"But you really want *more* siblings? Even if'n they yell like Kai?" A
pause of her own ensues, for thought. "Methinks so. But it might be less
boring in a challenging way, instead of a fun way. It depends on whether
you'd find more letters and songs and stuff fun or nay."

Relationships between siblings tend to be a little wacky, yes. Still,
Kaswyn -does- like Kisai, but the whole tagging along thing probably
doesn't win him any points. "Yeah, like the feeding grounds is always weird
and sticky, they said. I don't go there cause thatwouldbegettingintrouble."
Yep, quick to defend himself, at least. "They would have to give me all the
letters if I had to write reports." But then he frowns. "But being too big
for your lap would be -bad-. I'm never going to get -that- big." He looks
pleased. "All of those sound really, really nice." There's a pause.
"Couldn't there be some that don't yell? And don't take up lap time?
Because otherwise siblings are mostly nice." He considers a long moment.
"Well, the way it is now is stupid. Maybe can I try the other way, and if
it's bad, go back to the boring way?"

Except when Kiss sees trouble she can get him into along the way, at least.
Poor Kazy. Kassima nods to this analysis. "Especially when there's a
flight. You really, really don't want to go in there, Kazy-love--you might
get *hurt* as well as getting in trouble, and then I'd give you many sad
looks. Because I'd be terribly sad indeed. They'd give you the letters, but
have you ever heard a report? They're very, very boring. Unless something
exciting has happened, like Uncle L'cher making all of Telgar Hold ride out
as a mob to try and take back the daughters he's seduced away to the Weyr.
But that hasn't happened in *ages*." She reaches to smooth your curls when
you frown, looking pleased--though not by the frown; more by the sentiment.
"There'll be a lap here for you as long as you want t'sit in it, m'lad. And
I'm afraid *all* babies yell. You yelled. A lot. And when 'twere two, you
yelled even *more*. They have t'get some lap time, too. But mayhaps someday
there'll be another sibling or two, though I really can't promise that, and
you definitely shouldn't get your heart set on it. This sounds like a good
idea to me." She nods, decisively. "'Tis what 'twill do, then. I'll talk to
the Harper tonight, or tomorrow. You might still have t'sit in boring
classes for a couple more days while he tries t'decide where you belong,
but then things will change. Should I ask Kris if'n he'd teach you a little
extra too? I don't think he'd mind. He taught Kiss some, back when."

Kaswyn'll survive it, and grow up to be a -lot- taller, probably. Revenge
of a sort, at least. "And getting squished by a dragon that wants to have
lots of sex would make me stupid. And it would hurt." He shakes his head,
slowly. "I just know I'm not 'sposed to squish them. Boring is stupid.
Reports, then, must be stupid too." He curls in a little closer, resting
those curls against your shoulder. "Well, I'll always want to sit in your
lap." Yeah, remind him of this at sixteen, do. "Yelling is stupid. I know
better now." Pause. "Usually." He shakes his head. "If they have to get lap
time, we don't need anymore. We've got lots." We already have one! Itsa'
verra nice! "Okay. And maybe they will change to another song tomorrow.
That would make waiting less bad. And if he would show me the other
letters, that would be really good. But he's big and busy a lot, I know."

You know, that's very probably true. Kiss isn't going to be a short woman,
but Kazy still may well tower over her, and can practice his ferocious
looming. Kassi though is not practicing ferocious looming. Kassi is
choking. There are some phrases you just don't expect your four-Turn-old to
say, and doubtless she will laugh hysterically about this one later.
"Err... aye, aye, that would make you stupid. Stupid and dead. I don't want
you stupid *or* dead. So stay away from the... ah, sex-wanting dragons.
Reports are *very* stupid most of the time, but must be done, just in case
something ever does go wrong." She wraps her arms loosely around you at
this cuddling, and tips her head to rest her cheek against the crown of
your head. "We'll see about the always part, sweetling," she murmurs. "But
if'n you do, then you can." All things considered, a pretty safe promise to
make. "Sometimes you do have t'yell. Babies can't help it, though, the
yelling." Quiet laughter. "All right. 'Twill keep that in mind. I can't
promise you *won't* have more sibs any more than I can promise you will,
but 'twill keep it in mind. You're right that Kris is big and busy,
but--between you and me--methinks he *likes* teaching little sibs. It gives
him a break from all those numbers he crunches. And I know he likes you."

Mind you, having a sheep on his head might detract somewhat from the
looming, but no doubt Kaswyn will practice the art, nevertheless. Granted,
most four-Turn-olds probably are less than inclined to say such things, but
he's sneaky, and he listens, and then he's terribly innocent and repeats.
It's a potential issue. "And being stupid and dead would be even worse than
just being one or the other of them," he decides, still with that deadpan
seriousness that only a child can manage. Yes, this is certainly going in
the safe category, most likely. Although considering his father, he might
just wait until he's thirty and sit on you anyway, to annoy the heck out of
you. Ozy's not -entirely- Mr. Innocence. "Well, then we definitely don't
need any more of those babies. I don't know if you've noticed, but they
smell funny too." He considers this a moment, and nods. "And I bet the
numbers like it too. Because then they don't get so crunchy. And I like
Kris too. He's very smart though. I wonder if it makes his head all heavy."

Particularly if he starts repeating those things to other children rather
than his mother. And then explaining them. Oh, dear. Kassi has to wonder,
"Who told you about dragons and sex, Kazy?" And would it get her in too
terrible much trouble to kill them? "I agree. I don't want t'be stupid when
I die, because 'twould be embarrassing, everyone saying, 'Well, there went
a very stupid woman.' But I don't think you need t'worry about being stupid
too much, Kazy," she says with great affection. Hah! You know, I can
imagine that. Though Kassi might be more amused than annoyed. Well, amused
and squished. And then she'd suggest he go sit on Daddy's lap too for good
measure. "I've noticed," she says, trying to keep a straight face. "They're
messy and loud and smelly things, babies. But since they grow up t'be fine
lads like this one I've got in m'lap now, 'tis worthwhile t'put up with
them." Pause. "A'course, some grow into *lasses* more than lads; if'n the
girl babies grew up t'be lads, 'twould be a bit weird. Have you ever asked
Kris if'n his head is heavy?"

"There was a lot of people discussing it one day, after a really, really
big mess on the feeding field. Lots of firelizards were looking very fat,
cause there was lots to eat," Kaswyn explains relatively contentedly, as if
this made all the sense in the world. "I was playing with my runner." Read:
Being sneaky and quiet, and accidentally listening in on what he ought not.
Seriously, the kid has a gift. If Pern had a CIA, his life-path would
already be clear. "Yeah, and people would be mean. Because they're mean
when people are stupid. Which is not nice. Because being stupid is bad
enough, without people being mean." He nods, much more capable of keeping
that straight face. Still, there's skepticism in his expression. "Well,
maybe Kai will hurry up and get less loud. And yeah, if the girl babies
grew up to be boys, the people who make dresses would be out of luck." He
shakes his head. "No. I should ask him. He would know. Since it's his head."

Kassima grins at the fat fire-lizards, and nods slightly, probably rumpling
your hair in the process. "That mess was probably from a flight, then. And
I'd nay be surprised if'n some of the fire-lizards were mine, greedyguts
that they are. So you don't know what that actually *means*?" Chances that
this discussion would've turned to the exact ins and outs--uh, no pun
intended--of dragon sex may be slim, but she's a mother, and sometimes this
makes her suspicious. Maybe Kazy can grow up to be a Baker though, and thus
join up with the other kind of CIA? "'Tis kind of true, unfortunately. 'Tis
easy t'get frustrated when people are stupid. You're frustrated with the
kids in your class, aren't you? But that doesn't excuse being mean to the
stupid people. Kai," she sighs, "is about t'turn two though, tomorrow. This
means he's going t'be *very* loud for a good long time. It should be an
adventure." She chuckles at the dressmakers. "There are a *few* men who
might wear dresses, I suppose, but nay many. Which is good. 'Tisn't
becoming. Methinks you should ask him--and y'know, if'n you want t'be
really nice, you could offer t'help him feed Theoretical sometimes, in
exchange for his teaching you. He'd probably like that."

Kaswyn doesn't seem to object to his hair being rumpled. After all, with
his hair, it's something of a steady state condition. "Oh, I know what it
means," he enthuses, utterly smug about this fact. He knows things! He
likes knowing things. "It means the lady dragon flew around, and a bunch of
boy dragons flew after her, making lots of noise. And then one of the boy
dragons and the lady dragons went behind the barns and kissed a lot." Okay,
so some serious flaws in the actual progression of understanding, maybe.
Still, he's clearly convinced of his own correctness. "Well, yeah. I want
them to hurry up and be less stupid," he agrees. He considers a moment.
"Maybe we can get the earmuffs out early, this turn." He brightens, and
nods. "I can do that. Feeding Theoret'cal, not wearing a dress, I mean.
Wearing a dress might be less sticky, but it wouldn't be as much fun."

Kassima at first looks very disturbed when Kazy says this, but at his
explanation, her shoulders shake perceptibly with laughter she's trying not
to let out. "That's... about right, aye, actually," she agrees; details,
details! "Naught you want t'be involved in, Kazy, I promise you. Just don't
tell the other *kids* you want 'em t'hurry up and be less stupid, all
right? They probably don't know or think they're stupid, and 'twould hurt
their feelings. 'Tis okay t'say it t'me, though. Methinks we'll have t'get
out the earmuffs soon in *any* event." The door curtain gets a dirty look
at that. Bloody weather. "Shells, the Lake will be ready for ice-skating
soon at this rate. That's lovely; I bet he'll really appreciate your help.
You're very good with the fire-lizards. He wouldn't particularly appreciate
you wearing a dress, though, so I agree, let's just give that a miss."

And the worst bit is, Kazy's just so used to sparking that trying not to
laugh thing, that he no longer even questions it too much, though you do
get a faintly confused smile. "See, told you I knew," he decides with the
utter smugness only a small child can manage. "I listen." He nods then,
sobering. "I won't tell them. Because that would be mean. It's not their
fault they are stupid." Unlike either parent, however, he's delighted at
the looming weather change, for all he tends to try and spend half the
winter curled up in a pile of blankets. He just isn't remembering that
part, just yet. "Ooh, snowballs! We'll have to get Daddy to come visit
again. He makes funny noises about snowballs. And ice skating is -good-."
He looks altogether pleased indeed, at being told he's good with the
fire-lizards. "I can be really helpful. And it will be fun. Although not
all firelizards are fun. And they do not always like puppies."

Kassima tries to give a reassuring smile in exchange, but since she's still
so clearly amused, it's hard to say how much she succeeds on the reassuring
part. "You must learn a lot of interesting things by listening that way,"
she murmurs, tightening her arms briefly in a hug, probably for the
smugness. Because when little boys are smug, it can be cute, and this is
one such instance. "Right you are, m'lad. About those stupid kids *and* the
snowballs. *Lots* of snowballs; Lysseth will probably throw snow at m'head
again--" There's a rumblesnicker from outside. Would she do that? "But
we'll definitely have t'ask your daddy t'come up. You need t'teach him
t'skate! I'm sure he'd love that." Kassi's not Ms. Innocence either. Though
she's also not Ms. Cruelty entirely; skating is fun, evil cold aside. "Mmm.
Some fire-lizards like t'bite, 'tis true. And I'd nay put Darvan, Koreyn,
or Kevazyr," naming three of her swarm, "near puppies. But other ones do
like t'play--mayhaps you'll have one like that yourself, someday." Pause.
"A blue one like that yourself. Or brown, or bronze."

"I hear a lot of stuff. A lot of it just doesn't make so much sense,"
Kaswyn decides, looking faintly peeved. Such a cruel world, after all, to
not always make perfect sense. And he's all for the hug. Despite his
complaints about Jivren being slow, he probably got well worn out today, as
generally lap-snuggly as he's being at the moment. "Lysseth can throw a
-lot- of snow. See, being a dragon would be good. Then I could throw lots
of snow too." There's a pause, and an amused snicker. "Okay, I can teach
him, but I bet he says we're silly a lot, because Daddy doesn't like ice."
No, -really-? "I guess it's good they don't get much ice down where Daddy
lives, though, since they don't have caves." He nods then firmly. "The
puppies like to chew. And firelizards don't like being chewed on." Thus
speaks the voice of experience, presumably, since hey, he probably tried to
teeth on anything that would hold still, including firelizards and poor
Lysseth. "Oooh, that would be nice. And then he could stay in my cubby with
me, and not go home somewhere else. I could show him how to hide. I know
some good places to hide."

"*Some* of it may make more sense when you're older. Some of it, though,
will probably never make sense. This is the way of the world," says
Kassima, with rueful humor. "It doesn't ever stop being exasperating,
either." She's certainly not inclined to complain about this tired-outness.
She's fond of the fierce and terrifying lap-Kaswyn. "'Twould be a lot of
fun to be a dragon. But then you'd have t'eat firestone and throw it up all
the time, and *that* part would be disgusting. D'you really reckon he'll
say that?" she asks in an amused drawl. "I suppose you might be right. Just
mayhaps. He's a very sane man. And you're right, I don't think ice would
agree with your Daddy's house much. Better than 'twould with a *potting
shed*, but still." Especially a potting shed where your feet stick out when
you sleep. "'Twill just bet they don't. What d'you think you'd name a
'lizard, if'n you had one?"

"That's what people keep saying. But I'm really old now, and it isn't
making any more sense," Kaswyn informs you, in utter seriousness. Indeed,
he is fierce, and mighty, snuggling viciously, and generally being drowsy
and content with the world. "Ewww." Well, that seems pretty fair. "That
part would be bad. But the flying part would be good. Then I wouldn't have
to wait to get a ride to come up here." There's an amused look in return
for the drawl, and he has to snicker once more. "I think he might, yeah.
But yeah, his house would be very cold, and he'd need more blankets." He
considers a long moment. And then another. After all, this is terribly
serious stuff, here, the naming of firelizards. "Well, not Fluffy, because
firelizards are not, in fact, fluffy."

It's very dangerous, holding the vicious and deadly snuggle-Kaswyn. But
Kassi's a trained professional. She can hold him all she wants, and if he
bites her arm off, she'll probably just exclaim appreciation of his
fierceness. "I'm thinking closer to old like Kay or Khari or Kris is old,"
she clarifies, amused. "You've got a wee ways t'go a'fore you're *that*
old. True, about the ride; I hope you didn't have t'wait too very long? You
can always ask a rider to ask Lyss if we can come get you, too. I can't
promise we *can*, but if'n we can, we will." The snickering gets a
delighted grin. Yes, she likes amusing her children. "A'course, he could
*make* blankets, and pretty ones, but 'twould still be cold. And this way,
if'n he ever *wants* t'be cold, he can come up here." Sure, because to
visit the frostbite is his real, secret reason for visiting, really. She's
clearly teasing there. "I've never *seen* a fluffy fire-lizard. Call one
Fluffy, and it might get confused."

Besides, she's probably pretty safe, what with Kaswyn's stated aversion to
biting, at least. "Ohh, you mean like -really- old," he mutters, with a
slow sort of nod. "I didn't have to wait too long, no. And somedays I don't
mind waiting. But today I had -news-, about the puppies, and the mud, and I
had to make sure you knew." There's an amused sort of nod. "Daddy makes
very nice blankets. But I don't think he visits up here because he likes
the cold. Because otherwise he wouldn't make the angry duck sound." Pause.
"I wonder if he taught the angry duck sound to Jivren." He nods then
slowly. "And confusing one would be probably bad. They're not so smart to
start out with. Maybe Sneaky. Or Notsquished."

This is a point. Only babies, after all, bite their mothers' arms off. See?
Who sane would want one? Kassi of course is not sane, though; she's a
masochist, at least when it comes to lots and lots of spawnlings. "Really
and truly old," she agrees, a bit dry. "Good; I'm glad, about you nay
having t'wait. And I'm very pleased about the news. It tells me Jivren is
sane and clever, and those are good things to know." Because, natch,
cleaning Kazy up before Kassi saw him was the epitome of sane and clever.
"Hmmm. Y'know, you could be right about that? About the duck sound, I mean;
a'course you're right about the blankets. I wonder if'n he *knows* he
sounds like an angry duck. Mayhaps you should tell him this?" Surreal
things to be informed by your children! "But I don't blame him for making
that sound; 'tis very, very cold here, and it probably bugs his joints, and
you might sound like a duck too if'n your joints were bugged." Okay, that
just sounds surreal. "Notsquished. I have t'like that, just on general
uniqueness principle."

Damn, it's a good thing most babies don't have teeth. Gives you a fighting
chance, and all that. "Well, I'll be really and truly old someday too," he
decides, as if this is a good thing. "He's faster than a lot of them. And
he's good at finding hiding places. I like him a lot better than some of
them. But he made me take a -bath-." He doesn't have to approve, after all,
of sane and clever. "I will tell him, and ask him if he taught the sound to
Jivren." He makes a face then, and nods. "Yeah, that would be bad. I'm glad
I don't have the bugs in my joints." He yawns then, clearly sleepy, and
half-asleep. "And it would be a good name, so maybe it would stay
not-squished. Or Notstupid."

True, but having your arm gummed off would be, if anything, even more
painful. Though it's not the worst bit babies could bite off if they had
teeth, come to think of it. Ow. "Fate willing," Kassi confirms, attempting
to tuck a stray curl behind an ear. "Hey, now, I know you don't like baths,
but think of it this way: if'n you hadn't bathed, then I couldn't let you
up on m'lap until 'twere clean anyway. That wouldn't have been good. Will
you tell me what he says, if'n I'm nay there when you ask?" she asks,
much-amused. "I'm glad you don't either, kit. Poor lad. All that running
with the puppies must've wiped you out." Not that she seems inclined to try
and shoo him off her lap. It'd probably not be the first time he's fallen
asleep there. "Notstupid the fire-lizard. Only problem there is, you're
almost tempting perversity t'make sure the poor thing *would* turn out
stupid. Mayhaps if'n you waited t'name him until he showed more personality
than just eating and sleeping, 'twould work."

Ow a lot, indeed. And the curl seems willing to be temporarily contained,
at least, though as wild as they are, that likely won't last long. Kaswyn
pauses a long moment, to consider this issue of mud and laps. "Okay, maybe
the bath wasn't -that- bad, at least. And there were lots of firelizards
trying to play too, which made it fun." He nods then, presumably indicating
he's willing to tell you all about O'wyn's disturbed reaction. "Yeah. Maybe
he'd be squishy, and Notsquished would be bad." He yawns again. "I'm not
tired," he protests, pre-emptively. "Not. Not squished either." But, well,
frankly he's wrong, and a few moments later, he's fast asleep, curled up
like one of those puppies he was playing with earlier.

Well, wrong about not being tired. He really hasn't been squished.

"You can splash with fire-lizards, too; they usually don't seem t'mind...
well, except the grumpy ones," Kassi admits, voice pitched quiet in respect
for this sleepiness. "Nay sure you're right about the tired part, kit."
Indeed not, it seems. She only smiles at the curl, and hugs a little
tighter, though not so tight to disturb his sleep. Later she might have to
move enough to at least pick up the report for reading again, but for the
moment she's content to stay still. A sleeping kidlet in her lap makes all
right with her world. Especially since he's not squished.